无能为力（2017）

很少能看到这么小的梦想
You know, it's not often you see such a modest dream
这么迅速地破裂
crushed so quickly.
说句"小隔间"
Say "Cubicle."
他真以为他能夺走我的办公室
He really thinks he can take my office from me
而我只能坐以待毙无力挽回吗
and I'm just gonna sit here and watch it go down?
现在不就是这么个情况吗
That's literally what's happening right now.
你要是觉得惊讶 那你真是不明白
If you're surprised by that, you clearly don't understand
凡的自尊心就像摇摇欲坠的纸牌屋
the teetering house of cards that is Van's ego.
他自尊心强到不让别人看到他打喷嚏
This is a man who won't let anybody see him sneeze
因为他觉得这代表脆弱
because he thinks it's a sign of weakness.
他不愿意亲我
He won't even kiss me
因为他觉得不符合公♥司♥规矩
because he says it's against company policy.
真是懦夫
What a pussy.
我就想给你一句建议
If I could give you just one piece of advice.
千万不要直接冲进去... 她走了
Don't just march in there and-she's gone.
又是一记好箭 先生
Another outstanding shot, sir!
谢谢你的马屁 史蒂夫
Thank you for your vanilla commentary, Steve,
但是我叫你来是捡箭的
but the only reason you are here is to walk the arrows back-
再给我来一个糖果戒指
Oh! Snag me another Ring Pop.
这个已经吃完了
This one's down to the bone.
凡 我想要回我的办公室
Van, I want my office back.
艾米丽 一旦有新地方了
Emily, once a space opens up,
我会立刻分给你的
I'll be happy to give it to you,
但现在 我忙着呢
but now, I'm in the middle of something...
很重要的事
very important.
祝您下次好运 先生
Better luck next time, sir.
我就是朝那射的 你个蠢货
That is where I was aiming, you dote!
绿箭飞镖
Oh, Green Arrow Darts.
我小时候玩过 你玩得很好
I used to have this game as a kid. You any good?
我还从没输过
I haven't lost a match in my life.
我也是
Well, neither have I.
我在想我们谁更厉害
I wonder who's better.
你要知道 艾米丽 你一旦来踢馆
You know what, Emily, once you throw down that gauntlet,
可就没法放弃了
it can not be unthrown.
我没想过放弃
I don't want to unthrow it.
-很好 你赢不了的 -很好
- Good, 'cause you can't. - Good.
-很好 -很好
- Good. - Good.
史蒂夫 你接什么话
Steve, what the hell, man?
-搞清楚场合 -我说啊
- Pick your moments! - I'll tell you what.
我们明天午饭的时候比怎么样
Why don't we play tomorrow during lunch?
要是我赢了 你的"储藏室"
If I win, your "storage room"
就得变回我的办公室
goes back to being my office.
史蒂夫
Steve!
要是你赢了 你就是把它变成
If you win, you can turn it into
养独角兽的地方 我都无所谓
a unicorn stable for all I care
因为那完全不可能
because that's a fairytale!
看啊 开战了
Oh, snap! It is on!
泰迪
Hey, Teddy.
你要做什么 伙计
What you up to, buddy?
谁给你施了法术吗
What wizard did this to you?
很像吧
Pretty convincing, huh?
我现在设好这个套
Now I just gotta set this trap,
挖了个陷阱 等着钓猎物上钩
dig a snare, and reel in the bait.
我对打猎一窍不通
I don't know anything about hunting.
泰迪 你设计这个不会是
Oh, Teddy, is it possible that you've built up this encounter
因为一个漂亮的女人会从云里飞出来
because a beautiful woman literally came out of the clouds
救你的命吧
and saved your life?
不是 她喜欢我 伙计
Nah, she's into me, dude.
好吧
All right.
小心点 市民
Careful, citizen.
奥林匹亚人下次可不一定出现
The Olympian might not be there next time.
太感谢了
Yeah, thanks a lot.
你看上去有点失望
You seem disappointed.
不不不 我还活着
No, no, no, yeah, I'm alive, man.
太好了 太棒了 我谢谢你
That's great. Awesome, thanks, man.
谢谢
Thanks.
混♥蛋♥
Dick.
放下那个小弓箭
Put down that tiny bow!
-你不能打败凡 -不 我可以的
- You cannot beat Van. - Oh, no, I can.
我很会玩这个
I am pretty good.
我来解释一下 是你不应该打败凡
Well, let me rephrase. You ought not beat Van.
为什么 他抢了我的办公室
Why? He took my office from me.
她还是个无聊的小孩的时候就想要那个了
She's dreamt about that since she was a really boring child.
甜心 我们都觉得你该得到那间办公室
Look, honey, we all think you deserve that office.
但现在有个更重要的情况
But there's something bigger at stake here.
我觉得你该过来看看
I think there's something you need to see.
本月最佳员工
Employee of the Month?
我都不知道我们还有这间屋子
I didn't even know we had this room.
这是我们向你保密的事情之一
Oh, it's one of the many things we keep from you.
就像是销♥售♥区的秘密厕所
Like the secret bathroom on the sales floor
一般都是空的...而且并不存在
that's always empty and... does not exist.
我不知道我为什么要说那个
I don't know why I said that.
我们每个月都让凡赢
We make sure Van wins every month
因为有一次他输了
because there was one time he didn't.
认识这个女人吗
Recognize this lady?
-不认识 -那就对了
- No. - Exactly.
凯特在这赢得了她的第一个月奖
Kate won her first month here.
所以 当凡看到她
So, when Van caught her
在一场员工会议上
taking a "Company croissant"
拿了一块"公♥司♥的羊角面包"回家
from a staff meeting home with her...
他立刻就把她炒了
He fired her on the spot.
然后他还要求"重新计数"
And after he demanded a "recount",
就变成是凡赢了
it turned out Van actually won.
我也不知道
I don't know.
所以你们每个月颁给他这个
So you guys give him this every month
好满足他的自尊心
just to stroke his ego?
不不不 我们这么做是为了生存
Oh, no, no, no. We do it to survive.
如果你赢了凡 不止对你不利
If you beat Van, it won't just be bad for you,
我们都没好果子吃
it will be bad for all of us.
这就是为什么你得放弃比赛
Which is why you're going to throw this game.
好吧
Fine.
凡已经准备好打败你了
Van's ready to destroy you.
你就这么喜欢做他的走狗吗
Do you enjoy being his little bitch?
这叫做随从 艾米丽
It's called a squire, Emily.
凡
Van!
到底来不来
Are we gonna do this or what?
现在 请欢迎
And now...please welcome
这唯一一位
the one, the only...
凡德维尔 "邪灵"
Vanderveer "Bring the Pain"
维恩二世
Wayne Junior!
我希望你已经跟亲近的人告别过了
I hope you said good-bye to your loved ones
因为我将活剥你的皮
because I'm gonna skin you alive
然后披着"你"参加你的葬礼
and wear you to your own funeral.
我只能尽我所能 希望有个好结果
All I can do is try my best and hope for a positive outcome.
你什么时候学会说场面话了
Where did you learn to trash talk?
在无忧无虑极乐园吗
At the puppies... and rainbows school...for sunshine?
太棒了
Yes! Yes! Yes!
凡
Van.
又射偏了
Missed again.
该死
Dang.
射得真棒
Great shot!
口胡
Not.
艾米丽 你跑去帮我拿八个小时的停车券吗
Emily, could you run and get me eight hours worth of parking stickers
因为我一整天都在玩这个
'cause I could do this all day!
我大概只是需要热个身
Looks like I just needed to get a little warmed up.
*正中 正中靶心*
* Right on, right on target *
BGM: Right On Target by Craig Wedren & Jefferson Friedman
*请求射击 赢下比赛*
* Callin' the shots, winning the game *
*打败你的老板 乐得冲昏头脑*
* Beating your boss, you're getting carried away *
*失误一两次也没关系*
* It's okay to miss a time or two *
*慢慢来*