无能为力（2017）

我不是超人
第一季第七集
你们已经连续好几个晚上约会了吗
So you guys are going out on back-to-back nights?
你一定很喜欢这个叫汉娜的女孩
You must really like this Hannah girl.
她很幽默
Well, she's funny,
长得也好看
she's gorgeous...
跟我一样懂得欣赏中世纪设计
And like me, she understands mid-century design,
只是她已经厌倦了
but she's over it.
就为这个也得干个玉米卷
Well, a burrito toast to that.
魅力城市民们
Citizens of Charm City...
有种体验你们绝对不能错过
You know what you should add to your bucket list?
那就是跳伞
Sky diving!
天哪
My boy!
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say.
大多数人会说"谢谢"
Well, most people go with "Thank you."
那我要说"谢了"
Then I'm gonna say "Thanks"
因为我跟大多数人不一样
Because I'm not most people.
天哪 我们居然见到了"烈火"本尊
Oh, my God. We met Green Fury!
看来你今天晚上跟汉娜吃饭
I guess we know what you're talking about
肯定有的聊了
over dinner with Hannah tonight.
谁
Who?
你好 请问你能提供停车券吗
Excuse me? Do you validate the parking?
不 这事不是我负责
Oh, no, that's not me.
我是产品研发部的高级副总裁
I'm actually the Senior Vice President of Research and Development.
可是你却坐在前台的位置
Oh, but you sit at the receptionist's desk?
不 不是
No, no, no, no.
前台在这里
That's the receptionist's desk.
这里是高级副总裁的位置
This is the Senior Vice President's desk.
我去帮你拿停车券
I'll just get you the stickers.
我发誓 你要是敢这样
I swear to God, if you do this,
我就派律师去你家
I will send my lawyer to your house
趁你睡着把你剃成光头
to shave your head in your sleep!
我不是吓唬你 妈妈
This is not a bluff, Mother!
艾米丽 你的父母有没有这样对待过你
Emily, have your parents ever done that thing
比如把你小时候的卧室
where they turn your childhood bedroom
改成了管家的储藏室
into a second butler's pantry?
没有
No.
他们把我跟我妹妹的房♥间保持了原样
They kept me and my sister's room the same.
-上下床什么的都在 -上下床
- Bunk beds and all. - Bunk beds?
你是在监狱长大的吗
Were you raised in a prison?
凡 你知不知道整栋楼里
Van, did you know I'm the only Senior Vice President
就我一个高级副总裁没有办公室
in this building who doesn't have a real office?
艾米丽 小隔间才适合你
Emily, you thrive in the cubicles.
你就像是生活在珊瑚礁里的热带鱼
You're like a tropical fish that lives in the coral reef,
如果把鱼抓出来
but if you took that fish out,
给它一间独♥立♥办公室
and gave it its own office...
-鱼就会死的 -什么
- it would die. - What?
-鱼需要水 -凡 现在这样
- Fish need water. - Van, it's hard enough
别人以为我是发停车券的
getting people to take me seriously
还怎么重视我和尊敬我呢
when they think I'm the person who validates their parking.
我觉得你这个年纪和性格
I think at your age being entrusted with
很适合被人误以为是发停车券的
parking stickers speaks to your character.
我知道一间办公室也许不代表什么
I know an office doesn't really mean anything,
但对我来说 这代表着我至今为止的努力
but to me it's a symbol of how hard I've worked to get here.
就像一位管家
It's like the pride a butler feels
拿到第二间储藏室会很自豪
when he gets a second pantry.
-是挺自豪的 -对
- They love that. - Yeah.
艾米丽 我非常愿意
Emily, nothing would make me happier
给你一间独♥立♥办公室
than to give you your own office...
但是
But...?
没有但是
No buts.
然而 公♥司♥没有空地方
However, there's no space,
所以 没办法咯
so...no can do.
游走吧 小鱼儿 说真的 快出去
Swim away, little fish. Seriously, get out.
我喜欢汉娜吗 喜欢
Look, do I like Hannah? Yes.
但是烈火真的很特别
But there's just something special about Green Fury.
是啊 她会飞 手掌还会喷火
Sure, she could fly and shoot fire out of her hands...
-对 -可是你说汉娜
- Yeah. - But you said Hannah
对《宋飞正传》台词倒背如流
could quote any "Seinfeld" episode.
这才叫特别
Now that's special.
《宋飞正传》
"Seinfeld."
鲜为人知的神剧
So underrated.
这不重要
Okay, it doesn't matter
因为超级英雄不会跟普通人在一起
because super heroes don't date regular people.
-露意丝·莲恩呢[超人女友] -人家得过普利策奖
- What about Lois Lane? - She won a Pulitzer.
你就会写点大众点评的差评
You write satirical Yelp reviews.
-这是业余爱好 -没必要这样
- As a hobby. - This is silly.
-反正你再也见不到烈火了 -是啊
- You're never even gonna see Green Fury again. - Yeah.
除非你再次从阳台掉下去
I mean, unless you fall off another balcony.
也许她也忘不了我
Or she can't stop thinking about me, either,
一直在到处找我
and she's trying to find me.
建议你选阳台吧
I would go balcony.
杰姬
Jackie!
我妈把儿时玩具寄给我的时候我挺不开心的
Yeah, I was upset when Mother sent me my childhood toys,
但我现在觉得回忆真美好
but I am really enjoying this trip down memory lane.
我玩小马的日子好像就在昨天
It seems like just yesterday that I was playing with My Little Pony.
我女儿也特别喜欢她的 爱不释手
My daughter loves hers. Won't put it down.
我只能放手
I put mine down.
马癌
Horse cancer.
你马上要跟艾米丽开会了
Your meeting with Emily is about to start.
她想在她办公室开
She wanted to do it in her new office.
艾米丽没有办公室
Emily doesn't have an office.
记不记得你之前封起来的房♥间
Remember that room you had sealed off
因为里面有蜘蛛
because you found a spider?
她打开了地狱之门吗
She opened Hell's Gate?
她说她跟哥谭总部领导
She said that she had a meeting
约好要开个会
with a couple execs from the Gotham office
需要地方
and needed a space.
真是了不得
My, my, my.
你看穿她的伎俩了吗
You see what she's doing here?
没有 但是我很期待听到你的想法
No, but I'm very excited to hear what you think she's doing.
她想把"中间凡"给踹走
She's trying to cut out the middle Van.
先是抢一间办公室
First it's the office.
然后就开始越过我跟总部开会
Second, she's setting up meetings with corporate without me.
等你反应过来 她早就已经
The next thing you know, she's gonna be the one
跟布鲁斯·韦恩玩3P了
high-fiving Bruce Wayne in a threesome.
我要结束这一切
Well, I am going to put an end to this.
我居然有自己的办公室
I can't believe I have my own office.
我从小就在梦想这一天
I have been dreaming about this ever since I was a little girl.
所以你从小就这么无趣吗
Wow, so you've been this boring your whole life?
帮我拍张照 我要发给爸妈
Oh! Take a picture of me to send to my family.
好
Okay.
其实我不是这个意思 好吧
No, that's-that's not what I me-Okay.
这是你的入案照片吗
Is that photo for your mug shot?
因为你就是个罪犯
Because I'm looking at a criminal.
你怎么拿到这间办公室的
How did you get this office?
你说没有地方 我就去了人事部
You said there was no space, so I went to HR
他们说只要清掉蜘蛛
and they said I could have this office
这间办公室就可以给我
if I cleared out the spiders.
你清干净了吧
Which you did, right?
这里已经没有 蜘蛛了吧
I mean, there are no longer... spiders in here?
人事部搞错了 你要是问过我的意见
Look, HR was mistaken. If you had talked to me,
就会知道我早就有别的想法
you would know that I have huge plans...
要把这里变成
to turn this into...
储藏室
a storage room.
你开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
给你一天时间
You have till the end of the day
今天之内搬回原位
to get back into your work pen.
塔兰托毒蛛
Tarantula!
天哪 会跳到你脸上
God! They jump at your face...
然后...
and...