无能为力（2017）

Look, it's great that you can mess up
而不用承担任何后果
and there's never any consequences,
但我们大家可没有你♥爸♥爸来帮我们擦屁♥股♥
but the rest of us don't have your dad to take care of us.
说什么呢 我是成熟的男人
How dare you. I am a grown man.
我才不会让我"爹地"擦屁♥股♥呢
I'm not taken care of by my "Daddy."
凡 你父亲的直升机刚刚降落在楼顶了
Van, your father's helicopter just landed on the roof.
爹地
Daddy?
在魅力城吗 他是不是很生气
Here in Charm City? Did he land angrily?
跟我合作很荣幸哈
Oh, it's an honor to work with me?
谢谢你们 比尔和梅林达·盖茨夫妇
Well, thank you, Bill and Melinda Gates.
你好爸爸 再见
hey, Dad. Bye.
我刚跟凯恩通完电♥话♥
I just got off the phone with the Kanes.
当年我刚从这里起家时 这个部门一无所有
When I started here, this division was nothing,
我该怎么做呢 我打开了电♥话♥簿
So what did I do? I opened up the phonebook.
我从头开始打电♥话♥
I started at the beginning.
猜猜我搞定的第一家客户是谁
Guess which client I landed first.
AARP
AARP.
AAA
AAA?
亚伦兄弟
Aaron Brothers?
埃斯化工厂 你这人听不懂上下文吗
It's Ace Chemicals. How can you not get that from the context?
我创造了这种合作关系
I created that relationship.
我培养了30年
I nurtured it for 30 years,
而刚刚却被你搅黄了
and you just pissed it away.
你根本都不喜欢凯恩 你自己说的
You don't even like the Kanes. You said yourself,
他们对码头礼仪完全不了解
they have no understanding of marina etiquette.
他们给自己的游艇起名叫"柯贝尔"
They christened their yacht with Korbel.
你就像我马桶里的屎蛋子 连游泳都不会
You are a turd in my toilet, and you can't even swim.
我可以漂着呀
I can float.
我看了你犯的很多罪过 孩子
I have overlooked a lot of your transgressions, kid,
现在你该承受一些后果了
but it's now time you face some consequences.
你想怎么样 把船要回去吗
What are you gonna do? Take away the boat?
滑雪小木屋吗
The ski-in, ski-out chalet?
不会是信托基金吧
Not the trust fund.
不是的
Oh, no.
比这些重要得多
Something much more important than that.
我对你仅存的一丝尊重
The last remaining shred of respect that I had for you.
不是吧
What?
你要见我
You wanted to see me?
某种程度上 我嫉妒你 艾米丽
In a way, I envy you, Emily.
你父亲是穷♥人♥
Your father is a poor,
你是否受他尊重并不重要
so it doesn't matter if you have his respect.
知道吗 你能从我爸爸身上学到很多
Okay, you know what? You could learn a lot from my dad.
他有家花店 历经风雨依然在营业
He had a flower shop, and through thick and thin, he kept it open.
他常说"只要肯奋斗 好事终会来"
He always said, "Put in the work and the rest will come."
我爸爸常说
My dad always said,
"要给情妇和老婆买♥♥同款香水"
"Buy your mistress the same perfume as your wife."
为什么叫我来
Why am I here?
你要帮助我重获父亲的尊重
You are going to help me regain my father's respect.
你知道我们要怎么做吗
And do you know how we are going to do that?
不知道 怎么做
No. How?
天啊 该死的
God damn it!
杰姬 叫泰迪来
Jackie, send Teddy in!
-慢着 等一下 -等一下 等一下
- Hey, hold on, hold on. - Hold on! Hold on!
你为何在意我的想法
Why would you care what I think?
我只会按照你的想法去执行
I mean, I only execute your vision, right?
我并没有自己的想法
I have no vision of my own.
我知道你什么意思了
I see what is happening here.
你有什么条件
What do you want?
我想晋升为研发高级副总监
I wanna be promoted to SVP of Research and Development,
我还想要那个马克杯
and I want that mug.
我要是没了这个马克杯
But how will I know I'm "Da boss"
怎么体现"大老板"的身份
if I don't have "Da mug"?
听着 你失去了一个大客户
Look, you lost a big client.
得到你♥爸♥爸尊重的唯一办法
The only way to get your dad's respect
是你能否找到一个新客户
is if you go get another one.
你说找客户是指
And by you, you mean--
-我们 -是指所有人吧
- Us. - It's the royal you?
-打电♥话♥吧 -好的 这就打
- Start making calls. - Oh, yeah, I'm on it.
我们韦恩家族今天的成绩
You know, we Waynes didn't get to where we are
不是来自对勤奋的畏惧
by being afraid of hard work.
而是借助1870年代的一场煤炭垄断
We did it by leveraging a coal monopoly in the 1870s.
一样的下巴 一样的体型
Same chin. Same body type.
告诉你们 亚历克斯就是奥林匹亚
I'm telling you guys, Alex is the Olympian.
看来唯一能确认的办法就是
I guess the only way to know for certain
我们派个人和他睡一觉
is for one of us to sleep with him.
好吧 让我来
Fine, I'll do it.
如果你有飞行的能力
If you have the power of flight,
你不会想去获得会计学位
you don't also decide to get an accounting degree.
-你只想到处飞 -双重身份不懂吗
- You just fly around. - Duh. Alter ego?
就像我认为布鲁斯·韦恩其实是闪电侠
Just like my theory that Bruce Wayne is really The Flash,
而斯蒂芬·鲍德温
and that Stephen Baldwin
只是亚历克·鲍德温扮演的一个身份
is just a character played by Alec Baldwin.
好吧 我无法接受
Okay, I'm not buying it,
但鲍德温的说法确实很有意思
but I'm very intrigued by the Baldwin thing.
听着 如果亚历克斯是超级英雄
All right, look, if Alex is a superhero,
他应该能接住这个
then he should be able to catch this.
当心 上司
look out, boss.
好吧 他当然不会去接了
Well, I mean, of course he's not going to catch it.
那会暴露身份的
It would give him away.
我孩子给我做的杯子 蠢货
My kid made that mug, you idiot.
*爸爸不爱我了*
*Daddy doesn't love me*
*小木屋里任我滑雪 出出进进*
*I can ski in and out of the chalet*
*却始终滑不进 他的心*
*But not into his heart*
不错
Ooh, that's good.
*滑不进他的心*
*Not into his heart*
你在干什么呢
What are you doing?
你应该在打电♥话♥呢
You're supposed to be making calls.
我打了 太难了 所以我歇会弹弹琴
It tried. It was hard, so I took a break to jam.
我想出了美妙的曲段
I found a sweet riff,
结果你进来 打乱了我的灵感
and then you came in and messed up my flow.
我一整天都在打电♥话♥
I've been on the phone all day.
记得亚特兰蒂斯遭到袭击的事吗
Now, remember how Atlantis got attacked?
我打给他们了
I called them.
尽管我不知道什么时候打好
I didn't know when to call though,
我不知道亚特兰蒂斯在什么时区
because what time zone is Atlantis in?
他们有夏令时吗
I mean, do they have daylight savings time?
他们有白天吗
Do they even have daylight?
*亚特兰蒂斯有白天吗*
*Does Atlantis have daylight*
*还是只有无尽黑夜*
*Or is it always night*
*海猴真的存在吗*
*Are sea monkeys real*
你说到哪了
*Do--* Sorry what?
他们对我们的产品有兴趣
They wanna hear our pitch.
我们有机会把安全产品提供给整个亚特兰蒂斯
We have a chance to supply security products to all of Atlantis.
这很了不起 比埃斯化工厂强很多
This is huge! Way bigger than Ace Chemicals.
太好了 我们成功了
Yes! We did it!
感谢这帮怪异的小鱼人
God bless those weird little fish people.
你这么说很不合适
That is actually very insensitive.
罗恩就是亚特兰蒂斯人
You know, Ron is from Atlantis.
我以为他说的是亚特兰大
I thought he said he was from Atlanta.
他们就是亚特兰蒂斯来的
So those are the guys from Atlantis?
你和他们来自同一个地方
And you're from the same place as them?
很疯狂 是吧
Crazy, right?
因为他们很沉闷 而我很欢乐
'Cause they're so dour, and I'm so cheerful.
-是的 举止问题 -是的 没错
- Yeah, it's a demeanor thing. - Yeah, totally.
好了 他们上钩了 现在拉线吧
All right, we hooked 'em, so let's go reel 'em in.
艾米丽 水底人很不喜欢
Emily, underwater people do not like language
"上钩"或"拉线"这样的词
like "Hooked" Or "Reel 'em in."
-抓的好 -这个也不行
- Good catch. - That's another one.
好的
Okay.
陆地人啊
Land people.
这只是几件我们觉得可以