同乐者（2025）

cows, chief amongst them, that still require milking.
之前也有数百万吨♥食物
And there's preexisting food, millions of tons of it,
在我们加入之前已经处理好了
that was processed prior to our joining.
目前为止还行 对吧
So far, so good, right?
除了一个小问题
Except for one small problem.
截至这个视频 我们的人口达到7348292411
As of this taping, there are 7,348,292,411 of us.
有很多人要养活
That's a lot of mouths to feed.
我们面临热量不足的问题
We're facing a caloric deficit,
为了解决它 我们需要采取某种措施
and to make up for it, we've had to take certain measures.
这就是我们获取食物的方式
This is how we get our sustenance.
这种可常温保存的液体 半品脱含有300卡路里
One half-pint of this shelf-stable liquid contains 300 calories.
(营养说明)
也就是说根据一天 所需的两千四卡路里来计算
Which means that based on a diet of 2,400 calories a day,
像约翰塞纳这种体型的人 每24小时需要喝八盒
someone John Cena's size needs eight of these every 24 hours.
比他大的体型喝的多一点 小的则少一点
Larger individuals require more. Smaller ones, less.
里面有什么
What's in it?
很多东西
Well, a lot of things.
这个在全球生产
It's manufactured across the globe,
所以配方会根据当地能获取的材料更改
so the recipe changes based on the local availability of ingredients.
大部分是我们之前谈到的储存食物
Mostly, it's those stockpiled foodstuffs we spoke of,
尤其是那些快坏掉的
particularly ones that are in danger of spoiling.
另外 每一盒含有8%到12%
Additionally, each carton contains eight to 12%
一个叫HDP的物质
of something we call HDP.
人源蛋白质
Human-derived protein.
对 光听名称就知道是什么了
And yep, that's pretty much what it sounds like.
每天有将近十万人死于自然原因和事故
Nearly 100,000 people pass away each day due to natural causes and accidents.
那些弃之可惜的遗骸
Those human remains, which would otherwise go to waste,
就是HDP的来源
are our source of HDP.
我们珍惜这些人的记忆 也很感激他们的牺牲
We cherish the memory of these people and appreciate their sacrifice.
如果有选择的话 我们会饮用HDP吗
Given our druthers, would we choose to consume HDP?
不会的
No.
纵观历史 尽管不是全部 可大部分的文化
Throughout history, most cultures, though not all,
都不太支持食人行为
have taken a dim view of anthropophagy.
老实说 我们自己也不喜欢
Honestly, we're not that keen on it ourselves.
可惜我们别无选择
But we're left with little choice.
卡萝尔 你可以放心 你永远不会饮用这个
Rest assured, Carol, you will never have to consume this product.
除非你自愿 但我们觉得不太可能
Not unless you want to, which we assume is unlikely.
无论什么时候 什么方式 我们也不会给你吃HDP
We will never serve HDP to you in any form at any time.
我们会继续为你保留最新鲜
We will continue to reserve only the freshest,
最好的意外收获和储备食物
best windfall and stockpiled foods for you.
希望这能解答你的疑问
We hope that clears things up.
一如既往 你的健康快乐 对我们来说至关重要
As always, your well-being is of the utmost importance to us.
(问题 意见 欢迎随时致电)
有任何意见 问题 欢迎随时致电留言
Any comments, concerns, call any time, day or night, and leave a voicemail.
很抱歉不能直接解释给你听
We regret not being able to speak to you directly,
我们暂时还需要自己的空间
but for the time being, we need our space.
所以这些事你一直都知道
So you knew all about this?
你是怎么...什么时候...
How... When...
知道多久了
For how long?
大概一周前吧 出于好奇心 我问了约翰塞纳
About a week ago, out of curiosity, I asked John Cena,
“你们为什么喝这么多牛奶 ”
"Why do you people drink so much milk?"
我们经常在一起
We had been hanging out together.
他那时教我他的日落翻滚炸♥弹♥摔
He was teaching me the sunset flip powerbomb.
当时你有什么反应
And what was your reaction?
还是你没有
Do you even have one?
我说了的确令人担忧
As I said, it is troubling.
非常担忧
Very much so.
好在我还有时间思考这件事
It probably helps that I've had time to think about it.
不得不说 约翰塞纳做了非常合理的阐述
I must say John Cena makes a fairly reasonable case.
他说法语的时候更有说服力
In French, he's even more convincing.
那个人不是约翰塞纳
That is not John Cena.
我的老天 你怎么会...
Jesus Christ, why are you so...
那么在西班牙时 他们说他们是素食者 这又算什么
How about the fact that in Spain they all said they were vegetarians?
对 我也问过约翰
Yes, I asked John about that.
他提醒我说当时他们实际上说的是
He reminded me that technically what they said was
他们偏好吃素
that they would prefer to be vegetarian.
噢 很好 这世界所有该死的律师活下来了
Oh, great, so all the fucking lawyers in the world survived.
卡萝尔 我郑重说明
Carol, for the record,
我一点也不喜欢这些人吃人肉
I am in no way pleased with the idea of these people eating human flesh.
我们没有一个人喜欢
None of us are.
我们
Us?
谁是我们
Who's us?
其他个体
The other individuals.
像你和我一样的人
The ones like you and me.
我们一直保持联络
We stay in touch.
保持联络
You stay in touch?
全部12个人
All 12 of you?
除了一个 那个在巴拉圭的先生不在
All but one. There's a gentleman in Paraguay.
随行监护联络了他 可是他没回复
Chaperones reach out, but he doesn't reply.
不过其他11人之间有联络
But the other 11 of us, yes.
所以你们11人 你们...
So the 11 of you, you...
做什么 见见面
What? You just hang out?
吃顿家常便饭之类的
Potluck suppers and whatnot.
我们偶尔会见面 - 是哦
We meet occasionally. - Okay.
周二和周五
Tuesdays and Fridays.
噢 那要一直飞来飞去
Oh, well, that's a lot of flying.
主要是用视频会议
Mostly, we're on Zoom.
是哦
Right.
那你们都聊些什么
What do you guys talk about?
应该不是聊怎么拯救世界 因为你很快就否定了这主意
I mean, it can't be saving the world 'cause you shot that down really quickly.
从某种意义上说和那个有关
In a sense it is.
卡萝尔 约翰塞纳刚才并没有说 就算有了HDP
Carol, what John Cena did not mention is that even with the HDP,
大部分世界人口在未来十年内会饿死
most of the world's population will starve to death within the next ten years.
谁说的 - 他们说的
Says who? - Says them.
如果你逼问他们够久就知道了
If you press them long enough.
我们希望拯救他们
We wish to save them from that.
在我们最近一次的聚会里 我们提出机械化农业
At our most recent gathering, we pitched the idea of robotic farming.
就算如此 他们还是需要打造机器人 为其编写程序
However, as it is, they would have to build and program the robots.
他们对我们的贡献表示感激
They did appreciate the input.
我猜也是
I bet.
你们有没有讨论过让我加入视频会议
Did you guys ever talk about including me in the Zooms?
我是说...
I mean...
我是个专业作家 恕我直言
I am a professional writer, and no offense,
不过这种机器人的故事 我要编多少有多少
but I can come up with shit like robots all day long.
我们...
We...
投票了
We took a vote.
虽然意见不一致
It was not unanimous,
可大部分人觉得你在的话会...
but the majority felt your presence might prove...
具有破坏性
disruptive.
另外 那些非英语会话者感到有点冒犯
Also, our non-English speakers were perhaps a bit offended that
因为你没邀请他们去西班牙加入我们
you did not invite them to join us in Spain.
很抱歉 卡萝尔
I'm sorry, Carol.
归根结底 这不是你的问题
Ultimately this is not about you.
也不是我们任何人的问题
Or any of us, for that matter.
是啊 我明白
Yeah, sure. I get it.
最近的洗手间在哪儿
Where's your nearest bathroom?
不过她很孤独
But she's so lonely.
是的 我知道
Yes, I know.
好的
Okay.
我也想你 亲爱的
I miss you too, my loves.
回头见
See you soon.
你醒了
You're awake.
又一次 你的时机刚刚好
Once again, your timing is perfect.
请坐
Please, sit.
看起来很不错 谢谢
That looks good. Thanks.
现在...
So...
你有什么打算
what are your plans?
这个嘛 相信你需要摆脱我
Well, I'm sure you need a break from me.
卡萝尔 有你相伴我挺开心的
I have enjoyed your company, Carol.
你喜欢有你的空间 我懂的 - 才不呢
You like your space. I get it. - No.
所以我想去找自己的套房♥
So, I was thinking I'll go find my own suite,
梳洗一番 然后...