同乐者（2025）

who were in town for the opening of Stonehenge-land.
他们说有办法阻止
They said they could stop it
只要牺牲镇上最笨的处♥女♥就行了
if they could sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin.
我不知道为什么我举手了
I don't know why I raised my hand.
该死的
Damn it.
这是在开什么该死的玩笑
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
(是我们 卡萝尔)
喂 卡萝尔
Hello, Carol.
很抱歉吓到你了 我们不是有意的
So sorry to startle you. We didn't mean to do that.
为什么把灯关了
Why are you turning off the lights?
是 我们知道 是个失误
Yes, we know. It was a mistake.
我们在隔离你的分支电路时 遇到了一点小问题
We had a little problem isolating your branch circuit.
不过现在灯都开了吧 对吗
They're back on now, right?
家里的灯 好的 - 是的
The lights in your house? Okay. - Yes.
那为什么把其他灯都关了
Why are you turning them off everywhere else?
为了节省电源啊
For conservation.
关的是那些没必要开的 也刚好是大部分
Just the ones that aren't necessary. Which are, well, most of them.
什么 你们不需要开灯 你们自带夜视镜
What? Lights aren't necessary for you guys? You just see in the dark?
噢 不是的 完全不是这样
Oh, no. Not at all.
只是现在无需防止犯罪了
It's just that there's no crime to prevent,
我们晚上也不上班 除非是必要的操作
and we're not working at night. Except for essential operations.
如净化水 医院 诸如此类
Water treatment, hospitals, things like that.
是哦 又是效率吗
Right, so it's more of your efficiency?
没错 你向塞拉俱乐部捐赠过两次 所以我们觉得你会理解的
Yes. You donated twice to the Sierra Club, so we felt you'd understand.
你要的话 我们很乐意恢复其他灯源
If you'd like, we'd be happy to restore the rest of the lights.
不必了 去他的 关就关了吧 我才不在乎
No. Screw it. Leave them off. Who gives a shit?
卡萝尔 我们能做些什么 让你高兴起来吗
Carol, is there anything we can do to cheer you up?
让我高兴 为什么
Cheer me up? Why?
我很好 我非常高兴
I'm fine. I'm so happy.
没有什么问题 是一颗该死的手榴弹解决不了的
There is nothing wrong with me that a fucking hand grenade wouldn't fix.
你有手榴弹吗
You got one of those?
因为我觉得那将是人类历史
'Cause I think that would be the perfect topper
最伟大的一周里 最完美的点睛之笔
for the greatest week in human history.
去他的
Fuck it.
(埃格里湖)
一定只是一时激动
It must've just been the excitement of the moment,
不过他们说唯一能防止爆发的办法
but they said the only way to prevent the eruption
是我从他们胯下爬过 再上火山
was for me to crawl through their legs, up the volcano,
同时他们按生日习俗拍打我
while they gave me my birthday whacks.
而且你不会相信的...
Well... and you're not going to believe this...
什么事 - 嗨
Yeah? - Hi.
抱歉让你久等了
Sorry it took so long.
手榴弹 - 是的
A hand grenade. - Yes.
我们觉得你应该是在讽刺
We thought you were probably being sarcastic,
但我们不想冒这个险
but we didn't want to take the chance.
你是在讽刺吗
Were you being sarcastic?
真是的 肯定是啊
Right. Of course you were.
你要我们把它...
Do you want us to take...
其实嘛 我们应该...我们会把它处理掉的
You know what? We're just gonna... We'll get rid of it.
开心点 卡萝尔
Feel better, Carol.
嘿
Hey.
你们这些疯子喝酒吗
Do you maniacs drink?
没关系
It's okay.
你可以带着手榴弹进来
You can bring the hand grenade.
你喝醉的话 全世界会跟着一起醉吗
Does the whole world get drunk when you drink?
比如你喝酒时 斯里兰卡的六岁孩童会说胡话
Like, does some six-year-old in Sri Lanka slur his words when you knock one back?
不 不是这样的
No, it doesn't work like that.
“干杯”梵语怎么说
How do you say cheers in Sanskrit?
大致意思是指“愿大家得到祝福”
Roughly it means, "May everyone be blessed."
那好吧 咻...
Well, then. Shoot... Shoo...
咻哔咻咻
Shoopy shoop shoop.
你知道伏特加是沃达的指小词 沃达代表水
You know the word "vodka" is a diminutive of voda, meaning "water."
类似于拉丁语aqua vitae 字面意思是“生命之水”
Very similar to the Latin aqua vitae, literally "water of life."
于是成了斯堪的纳维亚的阿夸维特
That becomes the Scandinavian akvavit.
虽然他们的酒不太一样
Although the drinks are very different.
有趣的是威士忌的词根意思是一样的
Fun fact, whiskey has the same root meaning.
苏格兰盖尔语叫uisce beatha
It's Scots Gaelic from uisce beatha.
是哦
You don't say.
这品牌独一无二的顺滑口感
What gives this particular brand its distinctive smoothness,
是因为它以土豆和玉米为原料蒸馏
it's distilled from both potato and corn.
它有点碱味 你有尝出来吗
It is slightly alkaline. Do you taste that?
而较便宜的酒往往带酸性
Lower-shelf alcohol tends to be acidic.
这个过程是首席酿酒师 从他祖父那里学到的
The chief distiller learned the process from his grandfather.
现在你从他的脑子里偷来了这个知识
And now you learned it by stealing it out of his brain.
被你们变成工蜂前 我还有多久
How long do I have left before you turn me into a worker bee?
这个很难预测
It's a hard thing to predict.
科学进步往往有起有落
Scientific advances tend to ebb and flow.
这不是答案 多久
That's not an answer. How long?
我们不分昼夜地在研究中
We're working round the clock.
快的话 几个星期 慢的话 几个月甚至更久
It could be as soon as a couple weeks, or it could take months or longer.
对于一个什么都知道的知识库来说 这个范围有点大
That's quite the range for someone who knows everything that there is to know.
不管怎样 我早晚会完蛋
Regardless, sooner or later, I'm fucked.
抱歉 卡萝尔 这是我们的生物本能
Sorry, Carol. We have a biological imperative.
你们这些人简直太离谱了
You people make no goddamn sense.
你们知道吗
Do you know that?
你说“我们想让你高兴”
"We wanna make you happy," you say.
你说“你的命你说了算”
"Your life is your own," you say.
“自主♥权♥” 我有这些自主♥权♥ 可是...
And "agency." I've got all this agency, but...
所以意思是 我的自主♥权♥说没就没
I mean, I guess I have agency just until I don't?
卡萝尔
Carol...
如果你在湖边散步 看到有人溺水
if you were walking by a lake, and you saw somebody drowning,
你会丢个救生圈吗
would you throw 'em a life preserver?
你肯定会的
Of course you would.
你不会想 不会犹豫 不会去征求对方同意
You wouldn't think, you wouldn't wait, you wouldn't try to get consensus on it.
你只会丢出去
You'd just throw it.
所以我现在溺水了
So now I'm drowning?
你只是不自知罢了
You just don't know it.
这个 你们这些人被洗♥脑♥了 就是这样
Well, you people are brainwashed, is what you are.
我是说 你们的思想 心灵融合 到底有什么了不起
I mean what could possibly be so great about this mind meld of yours?
那让我来猜猜吧 是...
Actually, let me guess. It's...
你们眼前全是美丽的风景 除了满足感 你们没有其他感受
it's all beautiful scenery, and you feel nothing but contentment.
只有一波又一波的平静与和平 一切都这么完美
Just wave after wave of bliss and peace and everything is perfect.
就好像每天时时刻刻住在一张明信片里
It's like living inside a postcard, every second of every day.
基本上就是永远过着瑞克史蒂夫斯 旅行特辑那样的生活 对吗
Basically, it's every Rick Steves special ever, right?
是这种狗屁说法吗
That kind of bullshit?
就好像你在森林里远足 还有温暖的雨水
Like you're taking a hike in the woods, and there's a warm rain,
高耸的树木让你看不清天空
and the trees are so tall you can't even see the tops.
或者说你在阿姆斯特丹的运河上喝着咖啡
Or you're having coffee on the canals in Amsterdam,
仿佛身临咖啡广♥告♥的置景一样
and it's like you're in a coffee commercial.
又好比说日落时分 你在克罗地亚最完美的海滩上散步
Or you're taking a walk at sunset on the most flawless beach in Croatia.
或者是你在挪威 在北极圈内
Or you're in Norway, above the Arctic Circle in...
在一家用冰做的酒店里
In a hotel made of ice.
蜷缩在一堆毛皮底下
Under a pile of furs.
我说过海伦是禁区
I told you that Helen was off-limits.
你们是一群精神操控者
You are a bunch of mind-fuckers.
哇 你们还真把这东西卡的死死的 是吧
Wow, you got this thing really jammed in there, don't you?
拜托你 小心点
Please, be careful with that.
搞笑 说得好像 你们会给我一枚真的手榴弹
Right. Like you would give me a real hand grenade.
卡萝尔 让我们来吧
Carol, if we may?
你给我
You gave me...
糟了...该死的
Shit. Shit. Fuck.
该死的
Oh, fuck.
完蛋了
Shit.
没事 我去找人帮忙 好吗
Okay. I'm gonna go get some help, okay?
不用了 卡萝尔
It's okay, Carol.
救援马上就到
Help is coming.
我们能坐这吗
May we join you?
很高兴通知你 佐西亚的情况没那么糟
We're happy to say Zosia's doing much better.
她有些出血情况 但没伤到任何神经
There was some blood loss, but no real nerve damage.
她有严重的脑震荡 我们会密切留意观察的
She did get a pretty severe concussion that we're gonna wanna keep an eye on.
她已经歇下了
She's resting now.
需要我们给你拿干净的衣服吗