科曼先生（2021）

Then I'm afraid I can't help you.
听着 我甚至不知道 这是不是诈骗或者…
Look, I don't even know if this is some kind of scam or--
如果你收到了我们的电子邮件
If you received an email from us,
那说明你的维萨信♥用♥卡♥账单 已经很久没有付清了
then it means your VISA credit card bill has been delinquent for some time
欠款付清之前我们暂停提供服务
and our services have been retained to collect payment.
对 可是你可能在说谎
Yeah, but you could be lying.
-乔希 我向你保证我没说谎 -抱歉
-Josh, I assure you I am not lying. -Sorry,
你能不能别叫我的名字
can you not call me by my name, please?
不说社安号♥也行
Instead of your social,
你可以用你的第一个宠物的名字 来确认你的身份
you could verify your identity with the name of your first pet.
你希望这样做吗
Would you like to do that?
我在考虑
I'm thinking.
好吧 米斯蒂
Sure. Misty.
-正确 现在 乔希… -抱歉 我让你别叫我的名字
-Correct. Now, Josh-- -Sorry, I asked you not to do that.
对不起 我们有文稿
I'm sorry, we have a script.
好吧 请说吧
Okay. Go ahead.
乔希 根据我们的记录 你欠全球维萨卡三千多美元
Josh, according to our records, you owe Global Card Visa over $3,000--
听着 我根本没有全球维萨卡
Yeah, see, I don't have a Global Card Visa.
我没有那个信♥用♥卡♥
I don't have that card.
我们大家都面临经济困难 包括我自己
Things are hard economically for all of us, including myself.
-不 你没在听我说 -也许…
-No, you're not listening. -Perhaps--
你找错了人 不是我
You have the wrong person. It's not me.
乔希 你就是你 米斯蒂是怎么回事
Josh, you're you. What about Misty?
你能否告诉我 卡上最后的三项消费是什么吗
Can you tell me the last three things that were charged on the card?
盖尔森超♥市♥
Gelson's.
我不在那里买♥♥东西
I don't shop there.
卡利托之道鸡尾酒
Carlito's Way Cocktails.
我不喝酒
I don't drink.
切杰餐馆
Chez Jay's.
-乔希 -是
-Josh? -Yeah.
-你熟悉切杰餐馆和… -是
-Are you familiar with Chez Jay's and-- -Yeah.
-你最近去过那里吗 -没有 我不去那里的 但我爸爸会去
-Have you been there recently? -No, I don't go there. My dad does.
什么
I'm sorry?
我想大概是他用我的名字开的信♥用♥卡♥
I think he probably opened a card in my name or something like that.
他曾经这样做过 但那是很久之前了
He did that once, but it's been a long time.
乔希 你真的以为我会相信吗
Josh, do you really expect me to believe that?
你知道吗 这开始让我焦虑了 所以我要挂电♥话♥了
You know what? This is starting to give me anxiety, so I'm gonna hang up.
-拜托 别挂电♥话♥ 乔希 -祝你愉快 非常感谢
-Please, don't hang up, Josh. -Have a great day. Thanks very much.
（新闻 头条新闻）
（气候危机远比以前想的严重）
（珍妮弗加纳在社交媒体上 分享她的傻气一面）
（Bumble交友平台）
（考特妮 30岁）
（莱克西 26岁）
（莫妮卡 36岁）
（谷歌♥搜索）
（梅根芒罗）
（梅根芒罗86）
“雌吸血蝙蝠
"The female vampire bat
远比雄吸血蝙蝠更善于社交”
is much more social than the male vampire bat."
“雌吸血蝙蝠群居生活 不像雄吸血蝙蝠”
"Female vampire bats live in groups, unlike the male vampire bats."
“它们用大部分时间相互清理
"They spend most of their time grooming each other.
这能让它们建立关系”
This builds up their relationships."
“你清理的蝙蝠越多 你的关系就越多
"The more bats you groom, the more relationships you have,
你在野外的生存机率就越大
and the better your chances of survival in the wild,
因为在野外没有别的人关心你 完了”
where no one else cares about you. The end."
你们做得很棒
That was great, you guys.
好吧 就你们所听到的 谁有关于吸血蝙蝠的问题
Okay, so based on what you heard, who has a question about vampire bats?
曼迪
Mandy.
那雄吸血蝙蝠呢
What about the male vampire bats?
它们会死掉
They die.
它们不相互清理 所以它们没有朋友
They don't do any grooming, so they don't have any friends.
不像雌吸血蝙蝠
Unlike the female vampire bats.
那它们就一直孤单着吗 到处漂泊吗
So they're just all alone? Like floating?
对
That's right.
嗨 肯
Hey, Ken.
-嗨 乔希 -嘿
-Hey, Josh. -Hey, man.
-你想去…我不知道… -对不起 你说什么
-Would you wanna, I don't know-- -Sorry, what?
我是说你想不想去喝杯咖啡…
I was just saying, if you wanted to grab coffee--
-很抱歉 我得走了 -好的
-I'm sorry, man, I have to go. -Okay.
-好 再见 -回头见
-Okay, bye. -See ya.
-是疼痛吗 -我不知道
-So it's like a pain? -I don't know.
你刚才说你胸口疼
You just said you were having chest pains.
是昨天 我以为我有 但我不确定
Yeah, yesterday, I thought I might have been, but I don't know.
胸口疼很严重呀 哥们 你应该做个检查
Chest pains are serious, man. You should get that shit checked--
我不知道是不是真的有 很难辨别什么是真的
I don't know if that's really what it was. It's hard to tell what's real.
你应该多锻炼
You know, you should exercise more.
-好建议 谢谢你 -我说说而已 每个人都应该 对吗
-That's great. Thank you. -I'm just saying. Everybody should, right?
对
Yeah.
-哥们 你在出汗吗 -这里很热
-Are you sweating, dude? -It's hot in here.
-不 不热 -是 很热
-No, it's not. -Yeah, it is.
-你有问题 -我没有问题
-Something wrong with you. -There's nothing wrong with me.
-你的确看起来病了 -我看起来没病
-Actually you look sick. -I don't look sick!
-你确实看起来生病了 -别夸张
-You do look sick. -Don't exaggerate.
我跟你说…你应该去照照镜子
I'm telling you-- You should go look at yourself.
-好吧 我去照镜子 -对 快去
-Okay. Fine, I'll go look at myself. -Yeah, go.
天啊 我脸色惨白
Jesus, I look white.
我就是这么说的呀 你应该做点什么 哥们
That's what I'm saying. Man, you need to handle this, bro.
我什么都不用做
I don't need to do anything.
-这是你的健康 这很严重 -这跟我的健康无关
-This is your health. This is serious. -It's not my health.
-是我的头脑 -什么
-It's, like, my head. -What?
我好像有焦虑症或者惊恐症之类的 两者都有 我不知道
I'm having anxiety or panic or something. Both. I don't know.
这两者有什么区别
What's the difference?
见鬼 对不起
Shit. Sorry.
有多严重
How bad is it?
很严重
Bad.
好吧 你觉得是什么 嘿 是什么原因导致的
Okay. What do you think it is? Hey! What's causing it?
我问了你一个问题 我们可以想出办法
I asked you a question. We can figure this out.
-我们只是在聊聊 是什么原因 -我不知道
-We're just talking. What's causing it? -I don't know.
好吧 你说你感到焦虑
Okay. So you say you were anxious.
-你对什么感到焦虑 -我不知道
-What are you anxious about? -I don't know!
-该死 -好好想想 你有什么烦心事
-Fuck. -Think. What's bothering you?
-事事都烦 -好吧
-Everything. -Okay.
-你能不能缩小范围 -不能 我每一个想法都让我烦
-Can you narrow it down a bit? -No, it's every thought that I have.
我会想：“我锁好车了吗 我应该去看看吗
I'm like, "Did I lock my car? Should I go check?
可如果回去看车的路上绊倒了怎么办
But what if I trip on my way to check?
那我是否应该就不锁车门 ”
So then should I just leave my car unlocked?"
哇 我想我们讨论的范围有点缩得太小了
Wow. I think we went too narrow on that one.
有什么大事让你心烦
What are the big things that are bothering you?
大事 我不知道 整个世界都糟透了 对吗
Big things? I don't know. The whole world is completely fucked, right?
对 可这是现实 哥们
Yeah. That's just true, man.
不 是真的 体制坏了 没人能修
No, really, the system's broken. Nobody can fix it.
-就算我们尝试 那就像试图停止… -行了 说这些没用
-Even if we try, it's like trying to stop… -Okay, this isn't helping.
对 没用 我看出来了
Yeah. No, I see that.
所有人对当今世界的状态感觉都一样
Everybody feels the same way about the state of the world right now.
所以这不可能是原因 对吗 那还有什么呢
So it can't be that. Right? So what else?
我不知道 钱
I don't know. Money?
-是 你钱够花 对吗 -我不够 其实不够
-Yeah. You're good though, right? -I'm not good. Not really.
-好 我知道 -好 可…
-Okay, I know. -Okay, but--
还有很多人比我的钱少
There are a lot of people that have less money…
-谢谢 -可是我永远都不会真的有钱
-Thank you. -…but I'm never gonna have any real money.
-对 -我每个月的工资都花得一干二净
-Right. -I spend everything I make every month
房♥租、食物和汽油、学生贷款
on the rent and food and gas, the student loan.
我有医疗保险 这点不错
I mean, I have health insurance, that's good,
但保险不报销所有费用
but it doesn't cover everything.
如果我真的生了大病 我就完蛋了
If I ever really get sick, I'm fucked.
行了 我们用GoFundMe为你筹款
Come on, we'd GoFund you, man.
不 你能想象我把自己放在网上 那个样子…不
No. Can you imagine me putting myself online like that and-- No.
我宁愿到一个隐秘的地方结束一切
I'd rather just go somewhere private and end it.
嘿…别拿这个开玩笑 哥们
Hey, hey. Don't joke with that shit, man.
-怎么了 -不 这一点不好笑
-What? -No, that's not fucking funny.
-行了 我不是那个意思 -拜托 哥们 不 我知道 可是…
-Come on, I didn't mean it like that. -Please, dude. No, I know, but--
你说你想自杀 就因为你穷得叮当响
You said you wanna kill yourself because you're so fucking poor.
-我没那么说 -你就是这么说的
-I didn't. -That's what you said.
不管你说了什么 我们没有缺钱的问题
Whatever you said, we don't have money problems.
不是缺得很严重 对吗 那还有别的吗