科曼先生（2021）

你知道惊人的是什么吗
You know what's crazy?
-什么 -自从我30岁以后
-What? -Ever since I turned 30,
跟唱这样的歌♥感觉很不一样
it's so different singing along to songs like that.
我年轻一些的时候 我就会一边跟着唱
Like, when I was younger, I'd be singing along, like,
心想：“喂 这将会是我”
"Yo, this is gonna fucking be me, man."
安东尼基迪斯是我的老师 我就是他的学生
Anthony Kiedis is my teacher and I'm his student
就好像奥比旺克诺比和卢克天行者 那种类型的关系
on some Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker type shit.
我就像是在体现他这位表演家的灵魂
And I'm, like, embodying this motherfucker's soul as a performer.
就像是我的训练的一部分 要在红辣椒乐队身边有一席之地
Like, part of my training to take my rightful place beside the Chili Peppers
还有像杰斯和鲍伊之类的娱乐界大神
and fucking Hov and Bowie, and just the gods of show business.
现在我老了 这个梦想没实现 还是有可能…
But now I'm old and it didn't-- It could still--
任何事都可能发生 这不是重点
Anything can fucking happen, that's not the point.
重点是 我知道我不会成为那种偶像人物
The point is, okay, I just know I'm not gonna be one of those icons,
因为如果我能的话 早就应该已经发生了
'cause if I was gonna be one of those then it would've happened already.
所以现在当我跟着唱的时候 这并不是我训练的一部分
So now when I sing along, it's not, like, part of my training.
不会向那个方向发展 我只是一名粉丝
It's not really going anywhere like that. I'm just a fan.
可是 伙计 你可以去问从古到今任何歌♥手
But, dude, you ask any fucking musician, since the beginning of time and space,
他们会告诉你他们有多么爱自己的粉丝
and they will tell you how much they fucking love their fans, man.
发自心底的爱 你知道吗 你能明白我的意思…
Like from the heart, you know what I mean? Do you feel me on that--
就像…你的内心 明白吗
Like you-- In there. Know what I mean?
-是 -是
-Yeah. -Yeah.
其实不懂 不
Like, not really. No.
不 我想你得跟乔希谈谈这类事情 伙计 我的错 对
No, I think you have to talk to Josh about that type of shit, dude. My bad, yeah.
不 谢了 哥们
Fucking no thanks, bro.
-没想到 -怎么了
-Oh, shit. -What?
关注者涨到467了 哥们
I'm up to 467, bro.
-什么 喂 你个混♥蛋♥ -是
-What? Yo, motherfucker. -Yeah.
-哥们 我是怎么说的 -好棒
-Bro, what did I say, bro? -All right.
-我怎么说来着 让我看看 -好吧
-What did I say? Let me see this. -All right.
好的 不过你来 看看最后一个帖子
Okay, but come here. Look at this last post.
-对 -好 你有四条评论
-Right. -Okay. You got four comments
而你还没回复 你得要与这些人互动
and you haven't written back yet. You gotta engage with the people
让他们感觉到自己是平等的
and make them feel like they're equal.
-你懂我的意思吗 对 -好的 对
-You know what I mean? Yeah. -Okay. All right, yeah.
不过我该说些什么呢 比如这条
Like, but what do I say, like, right there?
你得找到你自己的风格
You gotta find your own brand.
-哥们 非常感谢 -不是 我不是那个意思
-Thanks a lot, dude. -No, I didn't mean it like that.
-比如 你做什么工作 -我是UPS的一名货运主管
-Like, okay, what do you do? -I'm an on-road supervisor for UPS.
-很好 好吧 真的 那很好 -对
-Dope. Okay. No, that's good, man. -Yeah.
那真很好 因为…
That's really good 'cause
感觉很真实
it feels authentic.
人们想要的就是真实性
And that's what people want, is authenticity.
-是呀 -如果你问…
-Fuck yeah. -If you ask a--
该死 我看到那种笑容了 喂 是你女朋友吗
Oh, shit, I see that smile. Yo, is that your lady?
-是 -她到底来不来
-Yeah. -She coming or what?
-我觉得会来 -你觉得
-I think so. -You think so?
把手♥机♥给我 我用不了两条短♥信♥ 就能让她过来
Man, gimme that phone. I'll get the bitch here in two texts or less.
-我很好 谢谢 -好吧 杀手 做你该做的吧
-I'm all set, thanks. -All right, killer, do your thing.
听着 我去处理一些事情 等会儿再找你们
Look, I gotta handle some shit, so I'll holler at you guys later?
没问题 哥们 好的
All right, bro. Yep.
很酷的家伙 他挺酷的
Cool guy. He's cool.
（你还在那里 ）
（过来吧）
“过来吧”
"Come on over."
怎么了
What?
你好肉麻
You're fucking corny, bro.
嘿 你想离开这里吗 去找点吃的
Hey, you wanna get outta here? Try to get some food?
再给她发条短♥信♥吧
Just text her again.
我发了
I did.
你发了 什么时候
You did? When?
-你说了什么 -我不告诉你
-What'd you say? -I'm not telling.
好吧
All right.
算了 我们走吧
Let's just go.
好
Yep.
她似乎是认真的 可我不确定
It seemed real, but I don't know.
-去她的贱♥人♥ -我们能不能别这么说
-Fuck that bitch, man. -No. Can we not do that?
如果她这么混♥蛋♥…
If she's gonna be a dick about--
你不必开始说这些难听的话
You don't need to start saying mean things about her.
这无济于事 所以我们不要再说这件事了
It's not helping, so let's stop talking about it.
看看那是谁 想去打个招呼吗
Oh, shit. Look who it is. You wanna say hi?
好 那就去吧
Yep. I guess so.
喂…
Yo, yo!
-见鬼 你们还在这里 -是
-Damn, you guys still here? -Yep.
喂 我只有471个关注者 没达到目标
Yo, I'm only at 471, man. I didn't quite make it.
没事 你必须坚持互动 哥们 你会达到的
Nah, you just gotta keep engaging, bro. You'll get there.
-好 -你们准备叫车回家还是…
-Yeah. -You guys getting a ride home or…
我没喝酒 所以…
I didn't drink, so…
好极了 你们今晚过得如何
Word. How'd the rest of your night turn out, man?
你的女朋友没现身 是吗 去她的贱♥货♥
Your girl never showed up, did she? Fuck that bitch, man.
谢谢
Thank you.
-你不必… -佩德罗 我的朋友
-You don't have to-- -Pedro! My friend!
喂 谢谢你的关照 非常感谢
Yo, thanks for looking out for me. I appreciate it.
那个唱片骑师 非常出色 绝对不可思议
The DJ? Amazing. Like, absolutely incredible.
你有机会应该去看看 好吗
If you get a chance, you should check it out, yeah?
给你
Here.
留着吧 玩得开心
Keep it. Have a good time.
你们都准备好了吗
Y'all ready?
那个家伙有一百六十万关注者
You know, that dude has 1.6 million followers.
-你怎么知道 -这是我的工作
-How do you know? -It's my job to know.
-他是做什么的 -跟我做的一样
-What's he do? -The same fucking thing I do.
-应该做得比我好多了 -你做什么工作来着
-Does it a lot better than me, I guess. -What do you do again?
这家伙无处不在
This dude is everywhere, man.
人人都崇拜他 他说他是制♥作♥音乐的
Like, everybody's jocking him, and he says he makes music.
-好吧 -就是呀 哥们 都是垃圾
-Yeah, okay. -Exactly, bro. It's garbage.
连他都知道是垃圾 他说过那些是垃圾
Even he knows it's garbage. He talks about it being garbage.
不过我猜人们就是喜欢
But I guess that's what people like.
谁知道呢 他经常健身
I don't know. He works out a lot.
哥们 我也经常健身 可是我看上去不像这个家伙
Bro, I work out a lot too, but I do not look like this guy, man.
我想也许他的基因更好
I guess he's got better genes.
不然的话他大概在使用类固醇激素
Either that or he's probably fucking juicing.
可是高质量的类固醇激素很贵的
But then again, quality juice gets expensive,
这就很奇怪了
and that's, like, the weird thing.
这家伙开着一辆特斯拉Model X
You know, this dude's driving a Model X.
就算有一百六十万关注者 也赚不了那么多钱
Even with 1.6, there's no way you're pulling that kind of cash.
所以老实说 他大概是富家子弟
So honestly, he probably just grew up rich, you know?
他从来没提过爸爸妈妈 他说他是白手起家
He never talks about mommy and daddy, and he says he's self-made,
这个行业里人人都这么说
which is what fucking everybody in the industry says.
我想说 他的关注者是花钱买♥♥的
And I'd say he bought his followers,
可是显然他没有 因为他有点赞的数据支持
but he obviously didn't 'cause he's got the likes to back it up.
我不知道 他脸蛋漂亮
I don't know, he's got a good fucking face.
-真的很讨厌 伙计 -是 不过去他的
-Like, it's annoying, dude. -Yeah. But fuck that guy, man.
你认为他真的很快乐吗 真的吗
You think he's really happy? Actually?
喂 我要是他 我会很快乐
Yo, I would be happy if I was him.
如果我有那么多人每天给我爱
If I had that many people giving me love every day.
瞧瞧 这就是你的错误
Now, see, there's your mistake.
你不应该在乎别人怎么看你 因为绝大多数人
You can't care what other people think 'cause the vast majority of people:
-都是傻瓜 -我们又消极悲观了 好吧
-fucking idiots. -And we're going dark. Okay.
-不是每个人都是傻瓜 哥们 -不是每个人 基本上每个人
-Not everyone is an idiot, bro. -Not everyone, but pretty much everyone.
没有人理性地思考
No one has any reasoning behind what they think.
他们不是因为喜欢某样东西而喜欢它
They don't like things because they actually like it.
他们想的是他们应该喜欢 那是他们的朋友和父母喜欢的
They just think they're supposed to. It's what their friends and parents like.
你生气的原因是某个小妞放了你鸽子
You're just pissed 'cause some chick flaked on you.
你不知道自己在说什么 哥们 听着
You don't know what you're talking about. Bro, look--
随便你 我知道可以很酷地说 “去他的世界
Whatever. I know it's cool to be like, "Fuck the world,
我才不在乎” 可是你知道吗
I just don't give a fuck." But you know what?
我在乎 而且我也不害怕说出来
I do give a fuck, and I'm not scared to say it, bro.
我想要人们喜欢我
I want people to like me, man.
-只是没人喜欢我 -得了 不是那样的
-It's just nobody does. -Come on. That's not true.
听着 别误解我 我还活着
Look, don't get me wrong. I'm surviving.
我在做我的事情 或者随便什么狗屁事
I'm doing my thing or whatever the fuck, man.
可是除非你做得非常好、非常出色
But unless you're really killing it, like, really snapping,