爱你，维克托

是啊 当然
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.
我能就再多说一嘴吗
Can I just say one more thing?
学校里就只有其他三个同志…
There are only three other gay guys in this whole school.
-我们知道都是谁 -是吧
- Well, that we know of. - Right?
二年级生马修真的很入我的眼
Sophomore Matthew really sets off my 'dar.
我想说的是至少 我们该试试好好相处吧
All I'm saying is, shouldn't we at least try to get along?
当我告诉维克托我在给你辅♥导♥时…
When I told Victor that I was tutoring you...
等等 你告诉了维克托我需要辅♥导♥
Wait, wait, wait. Y... you told Victor I need tutoring?
我不知道这事儿不能说
I didn't know it was a secret.
不 这不是什么秘密 只是…
No, it's, it's not a secret. It's, it's just...
算了 我们还是开始学习吧
Forget it. Can we please just... get to work?
你昨晚见尼克了吗
See Nick last night?
Oh!
-好好给我讲讲 -你怎么这么感兴趣
- Tell me everything. - Why are you so invested in this?
说嘛 让我也感受下你们的基情四射
C'mon. Let me live vicariously through your lusty wanton affairs.
我妈一直在听有声读物《红字》
My mom's been listening to The Scarlet Letter on Audible.
我跟尼克在他家人都在家的时候
Well... Nick and I hooked up in his little sister's playhouse
-去他妹妹的游戏房♥亲热了 -够放纵的啊 -说实话
- while his whole family was home. - Wanton! - Honestly,
我真的很喜欢 这种不用走心的关系
I'm really loving this whole casual thing.
不用担心会发展成什么样
I don't have to worry about where it's going,
我们可以随时随地跟喜欢的人…
and w-we could do whatever we want, whenever we want with whoever we...
-你下面没事吧 -你能把脸转过去一下吗
- You okay down there? - Yeah, do mind turning around for a second?
好
Okay.
不
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! - Ohh!
首先 恭喜你 那话儿尺寸还不赖
Okay, first of all, con-congratulations on what you're packing,
但就是有点难看
but that is a mean wang.
-别看了！ -好吧 可我忍♥不住 看上去有点吓人
- Stop looking! - Well, okay, I can't. It's like a car accident.
但只是点疹子
But it's, it's, it's, it's only a little rash.
也有可能是性病
It's probably also a sexually transmitted disease,
但最优秀的人也可能会中彩
but it happens to the best of us.
我该怎么办
What do I do?!
两个选项 第一 发张清楚的照片 给生理卫生课老师
Two options: one, we send a super explicit photo to our sex-ed teacher.
第二 去免费的诊所
Option two? Free clinic.
选免费诊所
Free clinic!
嘿 购物回来了 买♥♥了些很棒的东西
Hey... back from shopping. Got some cute stuff.
陪我妈一天 你居然活下来了
You survived a day with my mom.
要是你需要倾诉一下 我可以给你介绍一位很棒的心理医生
I have an excellent therapist you can talk to if you need to debrief.
我不知道 我其实看到了她不同的一面
Ah, I don't know. I actually saw a different side of her.
她挺和蔼的
She was... kind of, nice.
一直说她有多希望你也能一起去
She kept talking about how she wanted you to be there.
我觉得她是真的希望你们能更亲近些
And she really wishes you guys were closer.
是啊 她还希望哈里·斯泰尔斯 能年长十岁呢
Yeah, well, she also wishes Harry Styles was 10 years older.
我跟她说那个不是障碍
I told her that's not the obstacle.
我知道她很难搞
I know she can be tricky,
但她在内心里是爱你的
but underneath it all, she really does love you.
也许你该告诉她露西的事
Maybe you should tell her about Lucy?
我想她会支持你的
I think she'd be supportive.
所以 才一个下午 你就这么了解我妈了
So, one afternoon and you're an expert on my mom?
不 我没这么说
No, I'm, I'm not saying that.
我只是觉得她想更多地了解你的生活
I just think she would like to know more about your life.
好吧 既然你们现在成了最好的朋友 那么 不如你去跟她说吧
Okay, well, you guys are best friends now, so why don't you tell her?
好吧 也许我什么都不该说的
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.
是的 也许你是不该
Yeah... maybe you shouldn't have.
她回来了
She's home.
好吧 我们要像之前说好的那样 进行一次心平气和的谈话 好吗
Okay, we're gonna have a nice, calm talk like we discussed, right?
好的
Right.
你们好啊 出色的爸爸妈妈
Hello, wonderful parents.
阿德里安 到你的房♥间去 我们要跟你姐姐谈谈
Adrian, go to your room. We need to talk to your sister.
我老是错过这些好戏
I always miss the juicy stuff.
是因为我从你钱包里拿了20块钱吗
Is this about the $20 I took from your wallet?
因为我确实有很小声地问过
Because I did ask, just very, very quietly.
你跟菲利克斯是怎么回事
What's going on between you and Felix?
怎么回事 没什么啊 我们是朋友
Going on? Nothing. We're friends.
皮拉尔 你♥爸♥昨天看见你们俩 捧对方的脸了
Pilar, your father saw you two yesterday with the face cupping.
我们现在给你个坦白的机会 我建议你自己主动说出来
We're giving you a chance to be honest. I would suggest you take it.
好吧 我们俩在一起了
Okay, fine... We're together.
所以 你骗了我们
So, um, you lied to us.
-我没骗你们 只是没告诉你们 -那就是骗
- I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you. - That's exactly what lying is.
我们还以为你们在学习
This whole time we thought you were studying,
但 不是 你跟男朋友在房♥间里
but, no, you were in your room with your door closed
关着门 鬼知道你们在干什么
with your boyfriend doing God knows what.
-我们没上♥床♥ -哦 天啊
- We're not having sex or anything. - Oh my God.
你要我怎么相信你的话
How can I believe a single thing you say?
看吧 这正是我为什么没告诉你们
You see, this is exactly why I didn't tell you.
每次我跟人约会 爸爸都会生气
Any time I date someone, Dad goes crazy.
你觉得这是生气吗 不 你都不知道什么才叫生气
Oh, you think this is crazy? Oh, no. You don't even know crazy.
记得我跟埃里克约会时 你给他看了自己的藏刀吗
Remember when I started dating Eric and you showed him your knife collection?
那卢比·迪亚兹呢 他在五年级的轮滑派对上牵了我的手
What about Rudy Diaz, hm? He held my hand at my fifth-grade roller skating party.
不管你对他说了什么 都吓得他尿了裤子
You pulled him aside, and whatever you said to him made him pee his pants.
别 少跟我大吼大叫的
No! No, no. You don't get to yell at me!
你才是惹了麻烦的那个 回你的房♥间去
You're the one in trouble! Now go to your room!
-我不是个小孩子了 -快去！
- I'm not a child! - Go!
咱家就不能心平气和地谈事情 是吧
We're not exactly a "calm talk" kind of family, are we?
我是尼克 请留言
Hey, it's Nick. Leave a message.
不太喜欢打电♥话♥ 发短♥信♥行吗
维克托 我是理查兹医生 你好吗
Victor. Dr. Richards. How you doin' today?
嘿 挺好的 就是有点难为情
Hey, uh, I-I've been better. Just... a little embarrassed.
没什么好难为情的
Well, there's nothin' to be embarrassed about.
你这是负责任 来做检查
You're, you're being responsible. You're gettin' tested.
那么 你的尿样和血样 已经送去了实验室
So, your urine and blood samples have been delivered to the lab.
在给你检查下♥体♥前 有几个问题
Just a couple questions before I peek under the hood.
好的
Okay.
你有几个性♥伴♥侣♥
How many partners are you sexually active with?
-就一个 -好吧 所以 你只有一个伴侣
- J... just, just one. - Okay, so you're monogamous?
我是
Well, I-I'm monogamous,
但对方不是
but, uh, he's not.
我们俩的关系没确定 而且我同意这样
It's casual... and I, I agreed to that
因为我不想伤心
because I, I didn't want my heart to get broken.
上面没有这一项 但我会记下来的
There's not a box for that here, but I'll note it.
你们用避孕套了吗
You use condoms?
是这样 我们做的是非常规的那种 我们走的是后门
S... We... See, we don't have sex-sex. We, we do everything but.
我是说 不全都是 就…
I mean, not everything in the butt. Just...
-我明白你的意思 -好的
- I know what you meant. - Okay.
行了 问题问完了
Um... yep, that's enough questions.
我们继续 撩起你的袍子吧
Why don't we go ahead and raise your gown.
我们来看一下
Let's get a good look at that.
妈呀
Oh dear.
好吧 班吉 所以我们接下来这么做
Okay, Benji, so here's what we're gonna do.
你看下这道题
You're gonna look at the problem
告诉我极限是多少
and tell me... what is the limit?
拜托 别用对五岁小孩说话的语气 跟我说话
Please don't talk to me like I'm five years old.
那好吧 极限是多少 蠢货
Okay, fine. What's the limit, dumbass?
Um...
-负一吗 -对
- Negative one? - That's right!
也许我一直骂你就对了
Maybe I should've been cussin' at you this whole time.
-你在找什么 -要换的衣服
- What are you looking for? - Change of clothes.
该死 肯定是落在我妈车上了
Shit. I must've left it in my mom's car.
她因为工作脱不开身 所以我舅舅法尔扎德要来接我
She's stuck at work, so my uncle Farzad's picking me up.
他从伊朗来看我们 他是个超级虔诚的教♥徒♥
He's visiting from Iran, and he's super religious,
甚至不相信有同志存在
and doesn't even believe that gay people exist.
所以他住家里的时候 我爸妈让我…
So, while he's staying at the house, my parents asked me if I could...
隐瞒出柜的事吗
Go back in the closet?
我尽量配合他们
And I'm trying to be really cool about it
因为他们在我出柜的事情上很宽容
since they were so great about me coming out.
但要是他回去告诉在伊朗的人
But if he tells people back in Iran,
这将会成为我们家族一个巨大的污点
it'll be like this huge, dark stain on my family.
可我现在穿着自己最花哨的衬衫
And now, I'm wearing the fruitiest shirt in my closet,
而他20分钟后就要到了
and he's gonna be here in 20 minutes.
好吧 我想我可以帮忙
Okay, uh, well... I think I can help.
你怎么帮我
How can you help?
行了 拉希姆 我们这么做
Okay, Rahim, here's what we're gonna do.
首先 放下铅笔 跟我走