初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S06E11

Part 2 July 4, 2022, 1:42 p.m.

戴着那么个宽檐遮阳帽还能中暑?
Sunstroke, with the brim radius on that visor?
少扯了她想谈生意
No way. She wants to talk business.
没错侍者拿起你的小铅笔
I do. Servant, grab your little pencil.
开始做会议记录吧
Come take notes.
实际上巧的是
Actually, it just so happens,
我们学校正好需要一个院长
our school is looking for a Dean.
你是个不错的人选我可以帮你说说好话
You'd be perfect. I could put in a good word.
真的吗?
Really?
谢谢你
Thank you.
嗯哼当然是真的
Yeah, of course.
而且有我帮忙面试也就基本是走个流程的事儿
And with my pull, the interview is basically a formality,
那我现在就去打个电♥话♥吧你们先开球
so I'll go call the school right now while you guys tee off.
这一切发生的太猝不及防了
That happened awfully fast.
你失落只是因为我瞬间直接给你把鱼叉上来了
You are just thrown because I made your long game short.
也许吧
Maybe.
又或者是她不想失去她最好的护发产品客户
Or she can't afford to lose her best haircare customer.
又或者只是她明白我♥干♥什么都非常厉害
Or she just knows that I'm perfect at everything I do.
本垒打!
Home run!
到你上场了
You're up.
抱歉你不能坐在前排
Sorry you couldn't sit up front.
你就非得坐在副驾驶是吧埃默里?
You have to call shotgun. Right, Emery?
我也不想啊我可是个和平主义者
It's tough for me because I'm a pacifist,
但我坐后排会晕车
but I also get carsick back there.
行吧趁着在这儿放屁不会被打
Alright, last safe place for farts.
赶紧把它们都给放完了
Blast them out while you still can.
我的梦想提早一年实现了
My dream came a year early.
我们三个一起上高中
Three Huangs together in high school.
- 我就是黄家老三 - 天哪是埃文!
- I'm the third Huang. - My God, it's Evan!
如果女孩们把这挤爆了
If the girls are too much,
可别跟我抱怨你个幸运的混球
complain to someone else, you lucky bastard.
他来了
There he is.
我的好兄弟
My man.
行了放学后见书呆子
Alright, see you after school, nerd.
别晚了不然我就丢下你们自己走了
Don't be late, or I'm leaving you.
为啥你能这么快就酝酿出屁?
How do you conjure up your farts so fast?
我就不行
I clam up.
到了年纪你自然就会了
It comes with age.
他说"放学后见"是什么意思?
What did he mean by "See you after school"?
你们俩不会在学校里一起玩吗?
You guys don't hang out at school?
噢那只是...
Oh, it's just that...
我不想束缚他的行事风格你懂吧?
I don't want to cramp his style, you know?
高中就是这样的
It's high school. That's just the way it is.
我的老天爷啊舌吻的人也太多了吧!
Oh, dear Lord, the tongue kissing is rampant!
嘿伊芙猫咪日历不错
Hey, Eve, nice cat calendar.
你看今天的"呆伯特"了吗?
Did you see the new "Dilbert" Today? So true.
嘿我们要不要一起买♥♥个乐透什么的?
Hey, are we going in on a lotto ticket together or what?
天哪我爱死办公室文化了
Man, I love office culture.
你哪位?
Who are you?
我是新院长啊黄院长
I'm the new Dean. Dean Huang.
我上周来
I came in last week
交了入职文书还有职工墙照片的?
for my start paperwork and faculty wall photos?
我还说我自己酒量超差呢来着?
I deemed myself a one-shot wonder?
噢是哦那个院长啊
Oh, right. The Dean.
噢她在这啊
Oh, there she is.
你好啊杰西卡
Hello, Jessica.
里德校长您需要我今天去做些什么?
Principal Reed, what do you need me to tackle today?
给予大学指导? 管理学生纪律?
College guidance? Student discipline?
设法削减预算? 那艺术类就... 拜拜
Slashing the budget? The arts... gone.
你知道的那不是真正的... 你来上学想学的东西
Well, you know, that's not really... what you're here for.
我和董事长
Uh, between the Headmaster and myself,
我们都已经搞定了
we've got that covered.
- 董事长? - 嗯
- Headmaster? - Mm.
那我要做什么?
Then what do I do?
工作差不多就是看你想怎么做
Job's pretty much what you make of it.
所以...
So...
噢你的入职欢迎手册在我这然后...
Oh, I've got your welcome packet here, and, uh...
噢我不小心夹入了一份《管理者周报》
Oh,I accidentally put in a copy of Administrator Weekly.
真奇怪
That's weird.
我是特约编辑
I'm the guest editor.
尽情享受
Oh, well. You enjoy.
又搞掉一个把手
Uhp. Another doorknob.
工作第一天怎么样?
How was your first day?
糟透了! 他们雇佣我只因为我是中国人!
Terrible! They only hired me because I'm Chinese!
什么? 我肯定这不是...
What? I'm sure that's not...
"多元之家"?
"Home of Diversity"?
他们有一个游泳池? 我们能不能用...
They have a swimming pool? Can we use...
现在不是时候
Not the time.
他们把我放在宣传手册的封面
They put me on the front of their brochure.
当然这张脸就是为做封面而生但是得了吧!
Sure, this face was built for a cover, but come on!
我就知道有事要发生
I knew something was up
当黛德丽格外愿意帮助你的时候
when Deidre was so willing to help you out.
我也没买♥♥那么多护♥法♥产品嘛
I don't buy that much hair product.
里德校长甚至不能说出一件关于我的工作职责
Principal Reed couldn't name one thing in my job description.
我查过了
I looked it up,
院长的头衔直到现在才有
and the title of Dean didn't even exist until now.
那么你是第一个呀
So, then you're the first.
你喜欢做第一结婚走红毯时你都要跟我赛跑
You like coming in first. You raced me down the aisle.
这所学校明显卷入了新的"多元浪潮"
The school is obviously caught up in this new "Diversity wave,"
但这只是表面功夫
but it's just for optics.
我最终得到了我想要的但我甚至都没出力争取
I finally got what I wanted, and I didn't even earn it.
不你全身心投入这份工作是你应得的
No, you put in all the work. You deserve this job.
我不想要一份施舍给我的工作
I don't want a handout.
要么就是一点也不多元
Well, the alternative is no diversity at all.
这样难道更好吗?
Is that better?
这听起来确实像我的丈夫说的话
That sounds like my husband talking.
我想知道我的商业咨♥询♥师是怎么想的
I want to know what my business consultant thinks.
他... 或者我... 他我...
He... or me... He-me...
我们认为你得到它的方式是令人不喜的但你毕竟得到它了
We think it's lousy how you got it, but you got it,
现在你要充分利用这个机会放打持久战
and now you got to make the most of it and play the long game,
加倍努力工作
work twice as hard.
我已经加倍努力工作了
I already work twice as hard.
所以现在我要四倍努力
So now I'm gonna work four times as hard.
让他们瞧瞧院长的本事
Show them who's Dean.
我超爱你对除我之外的人生气的时候
Oh, I love it when you're angry at people that aren't me.
我虽然现在还没什么体味
Uh, I'm still waiting for my body odor to come in,
但我不觉得这玩意是你这么用的
but I don't think that's how you use that.
我意识到为什么只涂我的腋窝是?
I realized, why just my armpits?
明明也可以多关爱关爱我的腿窝和肘窝?
Where's the love for my knee-pits and elbow-pits?
确实
Sure.
为什么在学校你不跟埃默里一起玩?
Hey, why don't you hang out with Emery at school?
埃默里?
Emery?
他的戏剧社朋友都是怪胎
Ah, his drama friends are weird.
他们经常假装拿着看不见的道具
They're always pretending with invisible props.
就像为什么不直接戴上一个真的帽子?
Like, why not just tip your actual hat?
我的小伙伴们? 我们超酷的
My crew? We're cool.
我们有看得见的道具
With visible props.
这就是为什么你们总是互相瞅着对方
Is that why you're always looking at each other
喊"道具"?
and saying "Props"?
才不是
No.
你看问题是
See, the thing is,
在家跟你的弟弟一起玩没什么
hanging with your brothers at home is fine,
但是在学校这样超差劲的
but at school, it's lame.
在学校你必须做你
You gotta do you at school.
严格意义上来说应该是"做自己"
It's technically "Do oneself."
你这个行为正好证明了我的观点
Proving my point.
我已经打入老师内部并铺平了道路
Look, I've already broken in the teachers and paved the way.
埃默里必须自己把问题搞定
Emery's gotta figure stuff out on his own.
我一年内就毕业了
I'll be gone in a year.
好吧但我感觉
Okay, but I get the sense
埃默里真的想跟你一起玩
that Emery really wants to hang out with you.