初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S06E02

Part 4 July 4, 2022, 1:41 p.m.

but that's all they do here.
结果我发现我需要更多
Turns out I need a little more.
我在这里没看到什么不糟糕的
I haven't seen one thing here that doesn't suck.
对不起大学不适合我
I'm sorry. College isn't for me.
太无趣了
It's lame.
这是一场灾难
This is a disaster.
他从上三本到根本不想上学了
He went from Tier 3 schools to no schools at all.
他还倒♥退♥了
He's going backwards.
好吧此时不做更待何时
Well, it's now or never.
如果你不给儿子看看
If you're not going to show our son
怎么在这过的有趣那就我来
how to have a good time here, then I will.
你?
You?
你要做什么
What are you gonna do,
和他在院子里扔飞盘?
throw a Frisbee with him on the quad?
不是扔飞盘是飞飞盘
You don't throw a Frisbee, you slang it.
路易斯我们在笑话谁呢
Louis, who are we kidding?
我可以让你在一群孩子面前玩飞盘
I let you play it up in front of the kids,
但我们都知道大学的时候
but we both know that in college,
你就是个书呆子
you were a dork.
是的是的所以埃迪需要你
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why Eddie needs you.
他就是你
He is you.
不埃文才是我
No, Evan's me.
负责认真能拉出菱形花纹
Responsible, focused, able to pull off argyle.
菱形花纹!
Argyle!
埃文是现在的你
Evan is you now.
埃迪是你以前的样子
Eddie is who you used to be.
我能管好自己
I could handle myself.
我知道底线在哪
I knew where to draw the line.
- 埃迪可不是我 - 不他不是
- Eddie's not me. - No, he's not.
他比你强多了因为你养大了他
He's way better off because you raised him.
犯错后悔失败
Mistakes, regret, loss,
这里就是学习那些的地方
this is the place to start to learn about that stuff.
而且它会帮助我们的儿子知道
And it'll only help our kids to know
我们也经历过这些
that we went through it, too.
我们都挺过来了并且我们变得更好了
And we survived and evolved.
他也会
Same way he will.
听着杰西卡总要有个人要让埃迪知道
Look, Jessica, someone needs to show Eddie
大学是有挑战的
that college can be challenging
是寻找自我的并且很有趣
and soul-searching and fun.
那个人就是你
And that person is you.
以前的你
The old you.
浪♥女♥杰西
Messy Jessie.
你怎么说呢神枪手？
What do you say, gunslinger?
gunslinger：尤指美国西部电影中受人雇用的杀手
... 也许现在已经是一只巨大的蝌蚪了
... probably a huge tadpole by now.
很棒的对吧？
Nice, right?
阿诺德就是从这里开始的
Arnold got his start here.
你的政♥治♥抱负是什么呢？
What are your political aspirations?
哪项运动
Which exercise
最能为年轻竞选候选人的竞选巡游路线
best preps a young candidate
做好准备呢？
for the campaign trail?
你是如何看待总统选举
How do you square the Electoral College
一人一票的制度的?
with "1 Person, 1 Vote"?
好吧我知道这一场你们已经看了十五次左右了
Alright, I know you heard this scene 15 times or so.
但他们得再录一次
But they're gonna run it once more,
所以他们需要你们表现得像
so they need you to act like
这是你们第一次听到这些笑话一样!
this is the first time you're hearing these jokes!
好吗? 调整好状态
All right? Energy up.
这都不算什么
Oh, this is nothing.
当凯尔希·格兰莫心情不好的时候就要当心了
When Kelsey Grammer's having a day, look out.
凯尔希·格兰莫美国电视历史上最杰出的喜剧演员之一
你确定可以干吃方便面?
You sure you can eat ramen dry?
只要你拼命嚼你什么干的都能吃
You can eat anything dry if you chew enough.
埃迪我必须要跟你说件事
Eddie, I have to tell you something.
我是浪♥女♥杰西
I am Messy Jessie.
谁?
Who?
当我读大学的时候
When I was in college,
我没有好好读书
I didn't take it seriously.
我曾经是一个疯女人
I used to be a madwoman.
- 我不相信 - 不相信什么？
- I don't believe this. - What?
不相信你用剃须膏
That you could fill a water balloon
而不是用水来填充水球
with shaving cream instead of water
这样你就可以把它举起来？
so you could actually lift it?
不我是说是的这件事也非常让人♥大♥开眼界
No, I mean, yes, that is also pretty mind-blowing,
但我想说的是你在大学时期有多疯狂这件事
but I'm talking about how you were wild in college.
偶尔我会放下我的头发
Occasionally, I would let my hair down.
直到我把头发全部剃掉
Until I shaved it all off on a dare.
你怎么从没告诉我这事？
How come you never told me all this?
因为你在孩子身上看到了
Because there are some qualities you see in your kids
一些你知道他们从你身上得到的品质而你并不骄傲
that you know they got from you, and you are not proud.
所以...
So...
你羞于我喜欢玩？
you're ashamed I like to have fun?
不不是这个
No, it's not that.
只是有可能
It's just that maybe
如果我在第一次更加专注的话
if I had been more focused the first time around,
我现在就不会回学校
I wouldn't be back in school now
尝试着再次深造学习
trying to do it all over again.
我不希望你需要这样重回学校
I don't want you to have to do that.
真的吗？
Really?
因为在我看来你这样做的方式
Because it seems to me that the way you did it
更有趣
is way more interesting.
你过着你想要的生活有了家庭
You lived it up, you had a family,
有多种职业仍在努力
multiple careers, still pushing yourself...
好吧你说得对我不后悔
Okay, you're right, I don't regret it.
我只是不想鼓励你
I just don't want to encourage you
像我那样做
to behave the way I did.
我知道我是个伪君子
I know, I'm a hypocrite.
不你是骄傲自大了
No, cocky.
你认为你是唯一可以处理任何事情的人？.
You think you're the only person who could handle anything?
是的
Yes.
因为我经受了挑战的考验
Because I am battle-tested.
没有我多
Not as much as me.
你永远无法承受我所经历的一切那就是你
You could never handle what I went through... you.
我对抗我
Me versus me.
有意思谁会赢呢?
That is interesting. Who would win?
肯定是我啊
Me.
你太疯狂了
You're crazy.
你很坦诚
You call it like you see it.
这是我引以为豪的你从我身上得到的另一种品质
That is another quality I am proud you get from me.
好吧我很高兴浪♥女♥西能帮上忙
Well, I am glad that Messy Jessie could help.
现在你准备告诉我
Now, are you gonna tell me
我们要把这个充满剃须膏的气球怎么办吗？
what we're gonna do with this cream balloon?
是的
Yes.
只要你答应只在哈佛这么做
As long as you promise to only do it at Harvard.
我不清楚哈佛会怎么样
I don't know about Harvard,
但是应该没我想象中的这么糟
but maybe college isn't as lame as I thought.
好吧斯坦福
Okay. Stanford.
准备好了吗？
Ready?
嘿快看！
Hey, look!
是我们的小♥电♥影♥明星！
It's our little movie star!
你有获得成功吗？
You make it big?
没有好莱坞糟透了
No. Hollywood sucks.
是啊原来海滨健身房♥
Yeah, turns out a beachside gym
不是你所期望的政♥治♥智囊团
isn't the political think tank you would expect.
看看这个
And look at this.
肌肉完全肿胀了
Completely pumped out.
我这一周都不能吃蛋白质补品了!
I won't be able to do bis and tris till next week!
我原以为变得富有
I thought being rich
并且不在乎任何事情会很棒
and not caring about anything would be amazing.
加菲猫让它看起来很简单
Garfield makes it look so easy.
加菲猫并不富有
Garfield's not rich.
他是猫类的有钱这两者是不一样的