初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S06E10

Part 2 July 4, 2022, 1:42 p.m.

吹大号♥的河马蠢死了
Stupid tuba hippo.
搞什么名堂?
What in the name of Lao Ban?
嘿! 你们在干嘛呢?
Hey! What are you guys going?
我们决定把这个换上去
We decided to change things up.
是啊屠夫给我们的这个主意
Yeah. The butcher gave us the idea.
你觉得这时髦的黄铜怎么样?
How about this sassy brass?
我没钱了
I'm out of cash.
都用来给蒂娜买♥♥礼物了... 一条棕色编织带
I spent it on Tina's gift... A brown weave belt.
整条带子全是孔
The whole thing is belt holes.
你呢?
How 'bout you?
我啥都没有
I've got nothing.
所有闲钱都投到互惠基金上了
All my extra money is tied up in mutual funds.
咱们上哪弄四百块钱
We don't have anywhere close to $400
买♥♥个新的胡桃夹子啊
to buy a new nutcracker.
咱们得跟蜜儿说实话
We have to tell Honey what happened.
顶着惹上麻烦还拿不到圣诞礼品卡的风险吗?
And risk getting in trouble and losing our Christmas gift cards?
我可还要换塔可贝尔的礼品卡呢
I'm spending mine on a certificate to Taco Bell
这样就能随时随地吃墨西哥卷饼了
so I can crush tacos whenever I want.
等会你要用代金券买♥♥代金券?
Wait, you're using a gift card to buy a gift card?
你必须花钱才能赚钱
You've got to spend money to make money.
咱们不告诉蜜儿
We're not telling Honey.
我们只是做每次我犯错误的时候
We'll just do what I always do
做的事... 掩盖它
when I make a mistake... Cover it up.
我不知道听起来不是什么好事
I don't know. Sounds delinquent.
好吧我的方法有时会弄得一团糟但总会奏效
Sure. My way sometimes gets messy, but it always works out.
我打碎过很多东西但从没被抓过
I've broken plenty of things and never gotten caught.
你以为你戴着的是你原来的手表吗?
You think that's your original watch?
那块手表是我在厄瓜多尔的笔友送给我的生日礼物
That watch was a birthday gift from my pen pal in Ecuador.
这块是西尔斯百货的
Well, this one's from Sears.
我不知道这么做不好吧
I don't know. Seems wrong.
埃文想想坦白会给所有人带来多大的压力
Evan, think about all the stress confessing would cause everyone.
蜜儿? 妈妈?
Honey? Mom?
你想毁了圣诞节吗?
You want to ruin Christmas?
好吧
Okay.
就按你说的办吧
Let's do it your way.
话说我原本那块表到底怎么了
Also, what happened to my old watch?
长话短说在特伦特的狗身上
Long story short, it's in Trent's dog.
你看到我把圣诞贺卡搞定了吧?
You see how, uh, I knocked out all the Christmas cards?
我当然看到了
I sure did.
太棒了那咱们穿上冰鞋去溜冰场吧
Great. Then let's lace up some steel and hit the rink.
我带了几副冰刀
I packed some singles,
所以咱们可以跟着磨冰机滑
so maybe we can tip our way into a Zamboni ride.
我不要
No Zamboni.
我得留下来收拾干净你弄的烂摊子
I have to stay and fix everything you did wrong.
我用吻封住了每一个信封
I seal each one with a kiss.
没人知道但我知道
Nobody knows, but I know.
好吧
Okay.
我觉得你做得有点太过了
I think you're going overboard.
我认为你应该把圣诞节留给专业人士
I think you should leave Christmas to the professionals.
你之前觉得我没什么时间吗?
You thought I had little time before?
现在我一点时间都没有
Now I have no time at all.
我是说看这书法
I mean, look at this calligraphy.
它本应直接来自梵蒂冈
It could have come straight from the Vatican.
你就因为我贴错了邮票
You're redoing the envelopes
就要把信封都返工一遍吗?
just because I used the wrong stamps?
我不觉得这有什么大不了的
I don't see what the big deal is.
我的圣诞贺卡拉开了节日的序幕
My Christmas cards kick off the holiday season,
每个人都对我期望完美
and everyone expects perfection from me.
好吧我知道你对圣诞节很挑剔...
Okay, I knew you were particular about Christmas...
挑剔?
Particular?
多年来我一直在对细节进行微调
I've been fine-tuning the details for years.
我不即兴创作
I don't improvise.
这是圣诞节不是什么低俗的爵士音乐会
This is Christmas, not some sleazy jazz concert.
懂了我只是不知道
Understood. I just didn't know
你对信封都这么讲究
it went all the way down to envelopes.
但现在我知道了我可以帮忙
But now that I know, I can help out,
然后我们就可以去滑冰了
and then we can go skating.
我不觉得这是个好主意
I don't think that's a good idea.
我想想... 袜子要挂起来酒要温热
Let's see... stockings need hanging, wine needs mulling.
拜托这能有多难?
Come on. How hard could it really be?
好吧你想帮忙?
Okay. You want to help?
那你就做姜饼屋好了
You just drew gingerbread house.
啥? 可这是你的拿手好戏啊
What? But that's your showstopper.
你说这一切都很容易对吧?
Well, you said all this was easy, right?
盛大的揭幕仪式定于本周末举♥行♥
The grand unveiling is set for the end of the week.
就定名为B-Y-O-E-N
It's B-Y-O-E-N.
自带蛋酒
Bring your own eggnog.
你们想让我在商场里当圣诞精灵?
You want me to work at the mall as a Christmas elf?
对你把那份申请表填了就好了
Yep. All you got to do is fill out that application.
在紧急联络人那里
Under emergency contact,
写辛迪·克劳馥看看会怎样
put Cindy Crawford. See what happens.
我为什么要这么做?
Why would I ever want to do this?
首先这对你的演艺事业很有帮助
Well, for starters, it'll help your acting career.
想想你为塑造角色做的这所有的伟大工作
Think of all the great character work that you'd do.
我听说"木乃伊"的男主角布兰登·费舍
I heard that "The Mummy's" Very own Brendan Fraser
就是从商场精灵起步的
got his start as a mall elf.
你还可以得到商场30%的折扣
You'll also get a 30% mall discount
我们都可以分享
that we can all share.
考虑一下
Think about it.
就比方说四百块的圣诞礼物
Just like that, a $400 Christmas gift
能二百八到手
becomes $280.
你们把蜜儿的胡桃夹子弄坏了对吧?
You broke Honey's nutcracker, didn't you?
他瞬间就能明白好吧?
It was his quick math, wasn't it?
好吧我们是弄坏了
Fine. We broke it.
但即便我在农场主餐厅打工
But even with my job at Cattleman's,
我们也都买♥♥不起一个新的
we still can't afford to buy a new one.
我也没达到精灵工作
And I don't meet the age
对年龄和身高的要求
and height requirements for elf duty,
很是沮丧但规定就是规定
which feels backwards, but hey, rules are rules.
对不起伙计们这不关我的事
Sorry, guys, but this isn't my fight.
等一下
Wait.
你还记得奶奶说过的
What about what Grandma said
为家人做事吗?
about doing things for the family?
拜托埃默里你的兄弟们没辙了
Come on, Emery. Your brothers are down.
这是圣诞节帮帮我们吧
It's Christmas. Help us out.
为了这个家
For the family.
好吧为了这个家
Okay. For the family.
我的好兄弟!
My man!
你去了以后
Hey, while you're there,
不介意在圣诞老人面前替我美言几句吧?
do you mind putting in a good word for me with Santa?
这对我来说真是起伏不定的一年
It's been a real up-and-down year for me.
进展得怎么样了?
How's it coming?
一团糟啊
Awfully messy.
这该死的糖霜
Well, it's this damn frosting.
它基本上是混凝土... 瞬间凝固
It's basically concrete... Solidifies instantly.
这可不是个好兆头
Doesn't bode well for the real thing.
还是我来吧
Maybe I should take over.
不用我搞得定
Nope. I've got it.
有个小问题... 我吃了好多这个
Um, quick question... I ate a lot of this.
应该不会有事吧?
How worried should I be?
感谢各位的光临
Thank you all for coming.
对当地政♥府♥表示出兴趣是件好事
It is good to show interest in your local government,
尽管这不是一个民♥主♥国家
even though this isn't a democracy.
屠夫的影响力正在扩大
The butcher's influence is spreading,
先是大号♥音乐接着又是难看的牌子
first with the tuba music and then with the ugly signs.
是啊就这样你还奖励他一份
Yeah, and then you reward him with a contract
给我们建图书馆的合同?
to build our new library?
是的我们漂亮的新图书馆
Yes, our beautiful new library
只会被一种书装满...
that will be filled with only one book...
我的小说... 是的
My novel... yes.