初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S06E08

Part 2 July 4, 2022, 1:41 p.m.

我也在不需要你的年纪
I am also at that age.
不不是这个原因
No, that's not it.
我只是最近太忙于
I've just been so busy lately
学习和找工作
with studying and job applications.
他们需要有人提醒一下我可是聚会的核心人物
They need a reminder that I can be the life of the party.
我觉得你没明白派对的定义
I don't think you know what a party is.
"一天结束的时候对待孩子们可如对待银器一般
"At the end of the day, children are like silverware.
你无需将他们彻底清洁干净
You don't have to clean them that well...
只需将上面的食物拿掉"
Just get the food off."
首发内容便精妙无比
Amazing first post.
而且把头塞进冰箱里
And sticking your head in the freezer
以此来把尖叫声消音真是个好技巧
to muffle your screams is a great tip.
因为声音在冷空气中难以传播
Because sound doesn't travel through cold air.
发布吧
Publish it.
然后我们就能从计数器上看出
And we can track how many people are reading
有多少人浏览了这广♥告♥
with the view counter.
一个浏览者
One view.
我们的第一个浏览者!
Our first view!
刷新一下
Refresh the page.
- 呃... - 两个浏览者了再点一下
- Uh... - Two views. Click again.
三个了! 你已经出名了!
Three! You're famous! Oh!
等会等等我觉得是我们在让计数器
Wait a second. Wait, I think we're ticking up
上的数字上涨
the view counter.
- 四五六 - 啊哦好吧
- Four, five, six. - Oh. Oh.
也许我们应该先退出歇会儿
Maybe we should just log off for a while.
顺便一提你能帮我看看这几个新的公♥司♥名字吗?
In the meantime, can I run some new company names by you?
又或者我们也许可...
Or maybe we c...
现在就开始
Here we go.
二十分钟后
好了
Okay. Oh.
当然了这名单挺长但是感觉像
Sure, it's long, but there's something about
咨♥询♥路易斯还有咨♥询♥大事纪之类的名字不错
C.S. Louis and the Chronicles of Consulting that feels right.
我觉得我们已经等得够久了
I think we've waited long enough.
天哪路易斯
Oh, my God, Louis.
一百个浏览者?!
100 views?!
三位数了! 亲爱的你可真是个天才妈咪!
Triple didgies! Honey, you maternal genius!
这太棒了!
This is great!
真高兴你当初鼓励我去做这件事
Oh, I'm so glad you encouraged me to do this.
我也很高兴
Me too.
这就是为什么我要开
See, this is why I started
持立发"路"者咨♥询♥公♥司♥的原因
Stand and DeLOUver Consulting.
谁能想到外头会有那么多人
Who knew so many people out there
关心我家长的烦恼呢?
would care about my parenting problems?
是啊
Yeah.
这是个完全没开♥发♥过的市场
It's an untapped market.
这些都是你没打算提出来的?
There were ones you chose not to say?
我说起码广开财"路"还算句双关
I mean, at least Lou Cheese Dressing is a pun.
所以就选那个?
So, that one?
你们俩傻子还系鞋带呢?
You fools lace them up?
这只是大人对你的要求罢了
That's what they want you to do.
好嘞!
Okay!
谁想来找点乐子?
Who's ready for some fun?
- 什么事啊? - 惨了煤气又泄露了吗
- What's happening? - Oh, no. The gas leak's back again.
我知道我最近很忙
I know I've been busy lately,
所以我特地抽了一小时空出来和我的宝贝们
so I thought I'd set aside one hour of concentrated fun time
联络联络感情
for us to spend together.
来跟...
Say hello...
全家乐大转盘打个招呼吧!
to the Family Fun Activity Wheel!
你好啊大转盘!
Hello, Wheel!
可有意思了
See? Fun.
那不就是个写满了家务活儿
Is that just a chore wheel
只不过把"除尘"划掉
but with "Dusting" crossed out
换成了"烤奶奶"进去的大转盘?
and "Roast Grandma" written in?
我们得去参加那个广场的
Oh, we were gonna go to the ribbon cutting ceremony
剪彩仪式
for the piazza.
显然 "广场"并不是意大利语中的"披萨"
Apparently, "Piazza" Is not "Pizza" In Italian,
所以我还得学学意大利语的"披萨"怎么说
so I still have to learn how to say "Pizza" In Italian.
卡罗尔-琼已经完全沉迷在意大利主题里了
Carol-Joan's diving into the Italian theme.
马文还会教大家玩地滚球
Marvin's gonna teach everyone bocce.
以后再去土丘上打滚吧
Play on the dirt hill later.
但是有剪彩啊
But the ribbon will be cut.
现在让我们一起做点有意义的事儿吧
Let's have some quality time together.
玩点有趣的转一下转盘
Have some fun. Spin the wheel.
对不住老妈也许还是下次吧
Sorry, Ma. Maybe next time.
我听说还有个马苏里拉芝士测评
I hear there's a moozarelle tasting.
马苏里拉!
Mozzarelle!
"再转一次"?
"Spin again"?
怎么还有这种选项?
Why is that on there?
技术人员你好
So, uh, tech support,
我该怎么辨认出哪些弹出窗口是病毒
how do I know which pop-ups are viruses
哪些是真的拿得到一百美元?
and which ones really are $100?
路易斯! 我有个好消息告诉你!
Louis! I have good news!
怎么准备这些东西?
What's all this?!
"妈咪的真实想法"浏览量一千了
"TMI" Just hit 1,000 views.
四位数了?!
Quaddie didgies?!
我们真是大放异彩啊亲爱的!
We're in the big leagues, baby!
亲爱的这真是太了不起了!
Honey, that's incredible!
正好我也能告诉你一个消息
Perfect time for me to tell you about my news.
我已经将"妈咪的真实想法"做成一门生意了
I incorporated "TMI" as a business.
真的?
You did?
而且你就是我的第一位顾客
And I'm taking you on as my very first client.
我觉得你大可不必...
Oh, I don't think you have to...
打住打住别说啊千万别我知道你在想什么
Uh, bup, bup, bup, bup. I know what you're thinking,
我是不会跟你收钱的
and I refuse to charge you a single cent.
我们现在可都是货真价实的商人了!
We're both real businesses now!
真的?
We are?
当然咯
Unh-unh.
我们还有很多事要做
We're on the clock.
好的那么公♥司♥要做的第一件事是...
Okay, so, first order of business...
市场营销
Uh, marketing.
等等也许我们该订个晚餐庆祝
Wait. Maybe we should order dinner.
现在才下午三点
It's 3 in the afternoon.
你雇我又不是为了眼前着想
You didn't hire me to think in the present.
而是为了未来做规划
You hired me to think ahead.
你把我的博客变成了公♥司♥业务?
You turned my blog into a business?
但"妈咪的真实想法"只是我写着玩儿的
But I'm just doing "TMI" for fun.
有什么能比开一家不用交税的
Well, what's more fun than a tax-sheltered,
有限责任公♥司♥有趣呢?
limited liability S-corp?
作为一项公♥司♥业务我们可以接触到更多家长
As a business, we can reach more parents.
哇哦你还真是自发做了不少准备工作啊
Wow, you did a lot of unsolicited work.
最难的部分也不过就是溜进埃文房♥间
The hard part was sneaking into Evan's room
偷拿一些他的表格图纸罢了
and stealing his graph paper.
他睡得太浅了
He's a light sleeper.
不管怎么说
Anyway,
我为你争取到了第一个非常重要的宣传机会
I booked your very first major promotional opportunity.
"早安奥兰多"
"Good Morning Orlando."
啥?
What?
可我没准备好上电视啊
But I'm not TV-ready.
我都忘了普通的裤子穿起来是什么感觉了
I forgot what real pants even feel like,
而且一周前我还把一个润喉糖落在头发里了
and I lost a Ricola in my hair a week ago.
我昨天看见它掉出来了
I saw it fall out yesterday.
行吧但是在网上我是匿名的
Okay, but, I mean, online, I'm anonymous.
在现实生活中暴露我的真实身份是很恐怖的
Exposing myself in real life is scary.
风险越大收获越大嘛
More risk, more reward.
我一开始发展公♥司♥业务的时候也怕的不行
Starting my own business was terrifying, too,
但最后我也习惯了
but I'm finally feeling good about it,
尤其是现在我还有了我重要的第一个客户
especially now that I have my very first client.
好啦试一试也没什么坏处
Okay, there's no harm in trying.
冰♥毒♥这样的东西还是不能尝试的
Uh, there is with crystal meth.
孩子们! 桑福德的一家杂货铺火鸡刚到货
Boys! A grocery store in Sanford just got their turkeys,
所以我觉得我们也应该全下场去...