初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S06E07

Part 3 July 4, 2022, 1:41 p.m.

这样吧没有小埃了
Actually, Ev is no more.
现在我叫回埃文了
It's back to Evan now.
我可以去一下洗手间吗?
May I please be excused to the bathroom?
可以
Yes.
记住坐下来小便并不会减少你的男子气概
Remember, sitting down to pee doesn't make you a lesser boy.
你还好吗? 他们跟我说是家庭紧急情况
Everything okay? They said it was a family emergency.
- 是我们的妈妈 - 天哪
- It's our mother. - Oh, God.
她简直要毁了我的八年级
She's ruining 8th grade for me.
这就是紧急情况?
That's the emergency?
还记得跳级之后那段日子对我来说有多难吗?
Remember how hard it was for me after skipping a grade?
我终于开始适应了然后妈咪出现了
I'm finally starting to fit in, and then Mommy shows up.
友情提示? 别再叫她妈咪了
Gentle suggestion? Stop calling her Mommy.
她完全不给我任何空间
She won't give me any space.
她霸占了我的储物柜
She took over my locker,
扔掉了我"愚蠢的"彩笔
threw away my "Frivolous" Colored pens,
而且你知道当我提到杰夫的成年礼
and you know what she said
的时候她说了什么吗?
when I brought up Geoff's Bar Mitzvah?
一个男孩直到他挣到他的第一份薪水
A boy doesn't become a ma
才成为一个男人
until he earns his first paycheck.
-那是个"中式成人礼"- "中式成人礼"
-That's a "Chinese Bar Mitzvah". -"Chinese Bar Mitzvah."
这跟我参加我朋友玛莎的
I went through something similar
成人礼那会儿一样
with my friend Marta's Quinceanera.
我到底该怎么办?
So, what should I do?
叫妈妈挑个别的学校去
Just ask Mom to pick a new school.
打断她的实习期?
And interfere with her practicum?
我啥都能干就是不能破坏她的事业
I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a saboteur.
那就想想办法阻止她啊
Then just figure out a way to avoid her.
学校那么大块地儿呢
It's a big school.
行吧我想想法子
Yeah, I guess.
听着我得挂了
Look, I gotta go.
请千万别和老妈说我们聊过
Please don't tell Mom we talked.
我知道的已经太多了
I'm already too involved.
老师让我出来见你
The office said to come meet you.
发生什么事儿了?
What's going on?
有人来要奶奶的赌债了吗? 我们又要搬家了?
Is it Grandma's bookie? We gotta move again?
啥? 才不是
What? No.
我就是顺道经过打个招呼然后呃...
I just thought I'd stop by and say hello and, uh...
带你去拿阿伦·艾弗森的签名照
take you to get Allen Iverson's autograph.
真的? 你没耍我吧?
For real? You're not clowning me?
路从不耍人
Lou don't clown.
你老妈总是不能顾及到全局
Well, your mother doesn't always see the whole picture.
没错学校是很重要但是你的快乐也很重要
Yes, school is important, but so is your happiness.
你需要有人如暴风般席卷而来然后救你于水火
You needed someone to swoop in and save the day.
我不知道你会怎么称呼那种人
I don't know what you would call someone like that.
我会说他们屌♥爆了
I'd call them awesome.
种子已被播下
Seed planted.
那么我们之间的道路已被铺平还有...
Well, nothing but pavement between us and...
哦糟了! 出事了!
Oh, no! Obstacle!
老爸啥情况啊?
What is it, Dad?
呃哦那啥... 车出了点毛病
Uh, oh, uh... car trouble.
这时候? 那我们会赶不上的
Now? We're not gonna make it.
别担心儿子我肯定会让你赶上签名会的
Don't worry, son. I will get you to that signing.
你老爹知道该怎么搞定
Your old man knows his way around
汽车引擎盖里的那点事儿
the hood area of an automobile.
啊哈果然和我想的一样
Yup. Just what I thought.
一个破掉的法兰带... 螺栓
A cracked flange belt... plug.
我会火速把它修好的
I'll have her fixed in a jiff.
你确定不用我帮忙吗?
You sure you don't need any help?
不用你不要下车来
Oh... Oh, no. Do not come out here.
不过呢呃你知道有啥能帮上我嘛?
But, uh, you know what could help?
来几段小曲儿按一下车载立体声上的"播放"键
Some tunes. Hit "Play" on the stereo.
#我需要一个英雄#
I need a hero
#为了这位英雄我会坚守至天明#
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
#他会立场坚定#
He's gotta be sure,
#而这一刻绝不会远#
and it's gotta be soon
#他的意义更甚于我的生命#
And he's gotta be larger than life
#他超越了生命本身#
Larger than life
不! 不要啊
Oh, no! Oh, no.
该死路易斯这就是为什么
Damn it, Louis, this is why
你应该只弹空气吉他
you should always stick to air guitar.
我还想着我们要买♥♥午餐呢
Oh. I was thinking we'd buy lunch.
今天吃披萨
Today is pizza day.
原本是但在家里今天是打扫临期食品日
Yes, but at home, it's expiration date day.
快点趁它们变质前把它们吃光
Quick, eat up before they turn.
妈咪我觉得吧...
Mommy, I was thinking...
与其去我那么无聊的重点班
instead of going to my boring honors classes,
也许你在那些有"视觉型学习者"的班上
maybe you'd be more help with the classes
更能发光发热
with the "Visual learners."
不要听起来就没劲儿
Nope. Sounds bad.
朋友们
Hey, guys.
想一起吃吗? 拜托了?
Wanna join? Please?
也许还是下一次吧当情况...
Maybe another time, when things are...
... 变了再说
...different.
你确定你不想换班吗?
You sure you don't want to switch classes?
把它视作一个挑战嘛
Consider it a challenge.
老师中的一个甚至都没有备课
One of the teachers doesn't even have a lesson plan.
他就是瞎说一通然后弹弹吉他
He just makes up facts and plays the guitar.
令人心动但我已经排好了我们的课程表
Tempting, but I already lined up our schedules
并且把我的工时记录卡交给了亨特校长
and turned in my timecard to Principal Hunter.
我们定死了
We're set.
要是我能做决定我们就会永远一起上学了
If it were up to me, we'd be in school together forever.
永远
Forever.
冲冲冲!
Go, go, go!
你这也叫划船吗?! 我看你就是个废物!
You call that rowing?! I call it pathetic!
难怪你们都还是处♥男♥!
No wonder you're all still virgins!
宝贝你的小肚肚怎么样啦?
Sweetie, how are your boom booms?
这个也太冰了
This is too cold.
我得去和那边的狮子头女餐管说说好话
I'm gonna go sweet-talk that hairy lunch lady
用一用微波炉
into using the microwave.
还有让她用发网
And a hair net.
我绝对要摆脱掉妈妈
I must get rid of Mommy.
这卷带子就这一首歌♥?
Is this whole tape just this one song?
#直到夜尽时分#
Till the end of the night
爸我们快没时间参加照片签名会了
Dad, we're running out of time for the autograph signing.
别担心只是磁通电容器的问题
Uh, don't worry. It's just the flux capacitor.
我分分钟就能修好
I'll have it fixed in a minute.
#我需要一个英雄#
I need a hero
磁通电容器? 那不是"回到未来"里的吗?
Flux capacitor? That's from "Back to the Future."
我以为你知道自己在做什么
I thought you said you knew what you were doing.
是啊没错啊我可以的
Yeah, yeah. I got it.
看?
See?
呃... 那个...
Uh... that...
这里面为什么这么复杂啊?!
Why are there so many things in here?!
行吧我也不知道我在干啥了
Alright, I don't know what I'm doing.
我一开始是假装车坏了
I was pretending the car broke down,
结果我真的把它搞坏了
and then I broke it for real.
啥? 你为什么要这么做?
What? Why would you do that?
我不知道
I don't know.
大概那样你会把我视作你的英雄吧
So you would see me as your hero.
通过扮演机械修理工吗?
By playing mechanic?
行吧现在我见不到阿伦·艾弗森了
Well, now I don't get to meet Allen Iverson.
你可真是个英雄
Some hero you are.
不要啊! 又来!
Aah! Oh, no! Again!
亨特
Hunter,
你的微波炉把我的勺子毁了
your microwave destroyed my spoon.
你得赔我个勺子
You owe me a spoon.
埃文?!
Evan?!
那是我的工时记录卡吗?
Is that my timecard?
我只是看看你算得对不对
I was just checking your math.
十再借带个一...
Uh, 10, carry the 1...