皆大欢喜（2021）

那不就是所谓的玩消失吗
That's... isn't that what they call ghosting someone?
竟然两周不跟对方联♥系♥
When you just don't talk to them for two weeks?
-那才不叫玩消失 -她会觉得你在玩消失
- That's not ghosting someone. - She's gonna think you ghosted her.
根据你跟我说的关于莎拉的一切
From everything you've told me about Sarah,
她是个非常认真的女人
she's, like, a very serious woman.
她对于自己的职业很认真
She's serious about what she does,
她全身心投入 她的心思都集中在上面
she's dedicated, she's focused.
-那正是她的优点 她与众不同 -可能...
- That's what's great about her, she's different. - Probably...
或许你也要向她展示同等程度的
Maybe you need to show the level of...
认真度 同等程度的专注度
commitment back to her, that level of focus back to her.
我觉得 尤其是你是个演员
And I feel like especially, since you're an actor,
你只能....
you're gonna have to,
你必须证明你跟人们对演员的刻板印象不一样
you're gonna have to work against the stereotype. You know?
在她眼中 演员已经是
She already sees actors as like,
轻浮 自恋的混♥蛋♥
flighty, self-involved, you know, assholes.
她可能已经预料到你会随时玩消失
She's probably expecting you to ghost her at any moment.
我倾向于认为我是不一样的
I like to think that I'm different.
那正是我的意思啊
That's exactly what I'm saying.
你得更加努力地证明你是不一样的
You have to work that much harder to show her that you're different
我不确定 兄弟
Ah, I don't know, man.
我的意见已经告诉你了 我觉得你得联♥系♥她
You've got my two cents, I think you should call her.
不行 我觉得暂时先这样了 我们是有计划的
No, no. I think we leave it. We got plans.
我们应该喝得大醉 然后给她发短♥信♥
We should get really drunk and text her.
-这主意太糟了 -不 这主意超棒
- That's a horrible idea. - No, it's a great idea.
-这主意糟糕透顶 -我们来喝点烈酒吧
- It's a terrible idea. - Let's get some shots.
能来三杯龙舌兰酒吗
Could we get three shots of tequila?
四杯吧
Four, actually?
我想着你也会想喝两杯
I figured you'd want two as well.
-让我看看你的照片分享网 -不行 兄弟
- Let me see your Instagram. - No, man.
那让我在你的手♥机♥上看
Let me see it on your phone then.
不 不行 那就像允许变♥态♥进入公园一样
No. No, no, it's like letting the pervert into the park.
-允许变♥态♥进入... -塞斯
- The pervert in the...? - Seth.
-你好啊 兄弟 还好吗 -好得很
- Hello, what's up, man? - Oh, nice.
-好了 真棒 -瞧瞧啊
- Alright! That's awesome. - Look at that!
你们拍戏是怎么找到浣熊的
How did you find, like, a raccoon,
是用真的浣熊拍的吗
so what was it, like a real raccoon?
-是死掉的浣熊吗 -我不得不亲手宰了它
- Like a dead raccoon? - I had to kill it.
你亲手宰了浣熊吗
You had to kill the raccoon?
在我们喝下这杯酒之前
Before we take this shot,
你觉得我这位朋友塞斯
what do you think about my friend Seth here...
稍微放松点 喝醉一点 然后...
getting, like, a little loose, a little drunk, and, uh...
跟他在家里的倾慕对象视频聊天如何
FaceTiming his crush back home?
我喜欢这主意
Oh, I love this idea.
我太支持这主意了
Big fan of this idea.
你是要弄死我啊 卡莱布
You're killing me, Caleb.
真希望我今晚没邀请你出来一起玩
I wish I never invited you out tonight.
好吧 如果你不肯开视频聊天 那你就...
Alright. If you're not gonna do this FaceTime, you gotta do- -
照片 发张照片过去
Picture! Send a picture.
发张照片过去
Send a picture!
你竟然鼓动他吗
Are you enabling him?
拜托 你到底站哪边的
Come on, man, whose side are you on?
-你是喝醉了吗 拜托 -我支持真爱
- Are you drunk? Come on! - I'm on love's team.
-好吧 行吧 -我来个低音提琴手的姿势
- Alright, alright. - I'll do, like, the stand up bass.
这很棒 这很棒 性感一点
Ooh, this is good, this is good, make it sexy.
这可一点都不性感 不过也行吧
Nothing sexy about that, but alright.
把低音提琴抵在下巴上
Put that bass up to that chin.
拍一下 就是这样
Slap that thing, there we go.
或许可以把上衣脱掉
Pop that shirt off, maybe.
像鼠党乐队那样
You know, like Rat Pack.
-走鼠党风格吗 -就鼠党吧
- "Rat Pack"ing it? - Rat Pack.
-鼠党是什么 -怎么走鼠党风格啊
- What's Rat Pack? - How do you Rat Pack?
我来指着那个
I'll point.
我会指着这个台球
I'm going to point at this ball- -
别再指着了
Stop pointing!
别用胳膊搂着我
Don't put your arm around me.
好吧
Oh, ok.
一 二 三
One, two, three...
女人都喜欢巫师 老兄
Chicks love witches, dude.
这看着太像女巫骑扫帚的画风了
That looks exactly like witches riding brooms.
巫师 对吧
Wizards, right?
-《女巫也疯狂》 -是啊
- Hocus pocus! - Yeah.
你把照片发给她
You send this to her,
我去拿些烈酒来 怎么样
while I go get us some shots. How about that?
好啊 我来发
Yeah, let me get right on that.
好了 我来打几杆
OK, I'll shoot.
我不会发给她的 我不会发的
I'm not sending it to her. I'm not sending it.
你不发吗
You're not gonna send it?
就...别了
Just... No.
操
Aw, yeah.
你这是搞什么鬼 兄弟
The fuck is that, man?
我要吐了 我要吐了
I'm gonna puke, I'm gonna puke.
-别吐 别吐 -我要吐了
- Don't puke. Don't puke. - I'm gonna puke.
发一张呕吐照吧
Send a picture of the puke.
发吧
Do it.
他又吞下去了
Aw, he swallowed it.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
我都硬了
I got a boner.
-当然啦 我都跟你说了... -我变话唠了吗
- Yeah, I told you, I think- - Am I talking too much?
没有 挺好的
No, no, no, it's all good.
天 我真高兴你乘飞机把这东西带来了
Man, I'm so happy that you flew with this.
-就是啊 对吧 -否则我们就没得玩了
- Yeah, right? - Otherwise we wouldn't be doing it.
我们应该跳舞 老兄 跳舞吧
We should dance, man, we should dance.
就像上舞蹈课一样吗
Like dance classes out here?
我们可以去上舞蹈课
We could take a dance class.
-我喜欢这里 -这里的人都超好
- I love it here. - These people are so nice.
-大家都很酷 -你也很酷啊
- Everyone's so cool. - You're so cool.
-你很酷 -你也很酷
- Yeah, you're cool! - You're cool, man!
-我们没事吧 -当然 感觉很爽
- Are we good? - Yeah, feeling good.
-我感觉很爽 -我热血沸腾 老兄
- I'm feeling good. - I'm revved up, man.
-我们开始吧 -好啊
- Let's go! - Alright.
我们来点空手道动作
Let's go do some karate.
空手道
Do some karate!
-《永生》卡司会重聚吗 -我不知道
- Is there gonna be an Eternal reunion? - I don't know!
就是这样 各位
There you have it, folks,
塞斯·斯图尔特 一直表示《永生》卡司会重聚
Seth Stewart, keeping those Eternal reunion rumors alive.
事实不是那样的
That's not what happened.
你还好吗 兄弟
How's it going, man?
你是电视上的那个人
You're the, um, TV guy!
叫什么 生的
On the... Extra...
-《永生》 -《永生》
- Eternal. - Eternal!
《永生》 没错
Eternal, yeah.
你叫塞斯 是吧
Oh, man, it's Seth, right?
-是的 -我叫布拉德
- Yeah. - I'm Brad.
-很高兴认识你 布拉德 -很高兴认识你
- Brad, nice to meet you. - Good to meet you, man.
-你怎么样 -我好极了 老兄 好极了
- How it going? - I'm great, man. I'm great.
那是什么感觉
Hey, how's that feel, huh?
从名气冲天的高高云端
Going from like, the height of fame,
绝对的顶流
like hot shit, to...
到只能参与你现在拍的这种低成本狗屁电影
this low budget, bullshit stuff you're working on now?
这对你有影响吗
Does that affect you?
影响到你的心境了吗
Like, get into your interior?
-怎么样 -你真有趣
- Yeah? - Funny guy.
不 老兄 我只是
No, man, I'm just,
我只是来这里工作的
I'm just here doing my job
-其实... -我很高兴能有工作
- You know... - I'm happy to work, is all.
其实我们都只是想做好自己的工作而已
We're all just trying to do our jobs, too.
我们非常能理解 但我们真的不喜欢
We hear you. And we really don't appreciate
你来到我们的校园
you coming onto our campus
跟我们这里的女生乱搞
and fucking with our ladies.
不不不 那只是...
Oh, no, no, no, that was...