皆大欢喜（2021）

我们住在同一屋檐下
We live under the same roof.
如果她确实说了 但是你没听呢
What if she did say something, but you didn't hear it?
是字面意思吗 她真的开口说了什么
What, like, literally? Like, she just said something
而我在隔壁屋 没有听到
and I was in the next room and didn't hear it?
可能是这样 也可能是没看到
It could be that, it could be visual.
她有可能说什么呢 "我要离婚"
What could she have said, "I want a divorce?"
而我没听到
And I just didn't hear it?
怎么回事 我戴着耳机还是怎么着
What was it, I had my headphones on or something?
我不住在你家 兄弟
I don't live under your roof, man.
别带上我
Don't- - don't put me in this.
跟我无关
I'm not involved.
-有关系 跟你有关系 -不
- You're in this! You're in. - No.
不 我才没跟你们结婚
No. I was not married to you guys.
你已经卷进来了
You are in the middle of this.
听着 我感觉
Look, I feel, like,
你现在正处在战争的迷雾中 好吗
you're in, like, a... fog of war right now, right?
当局者迷
Things are, like, really, really cloudy.
离婚这件事还没尘埃落定呢
The dust is still all up in the air right now.
一旦都处理好了
Once that all settles,
也许你应该退一步
maybe you should take a step back
从不同的角度看待整件事情
get a different perspective of the whole thing
然后说 "知道吗"
and say, "You know what?
"到底一切是从什么时候开始出岔子的"
Where did things start to go wrong?"
我来告诉你这是怎么回事
I'll tell you what's happening.
她很受伤 我伤害了她
She's hurt. I hurt her.
而她现在想要惩罚我
And now she's trying to punish me.
她把一切怒火都发泄在我身上
She's taking all this out on me.
知道吗 如果她想要这么干
And you know what, if she wants to do that,
我就陪她玩
I can play this game.
我可以的 我陪她玩到底
I can do that. I can play that game.
我可以很伤人 我可以做个混♥蛋♥
I can be hurtful. I can be a dick.
我可以把一切都弄得很艰难
I can make things really, really difficult.
瞧好了
Watch this...
一杆给我打进去
fuckin' shot.
如果你再打坏一次东西
You scratch one more time,
我就把你扔出去
I'm throwing you out!
你也是
You, too.
他是在跟我们说话吗
Is he talking to us?
奥利弗是谁
Who is Oliver?
你知道我是什么意思吗
Do you know what I mean?
-你知道他是谁吗 -我 当然
- Do you know who he is? - I... yeah.
或许我这样是越界了
Maybe I'm over- stepping my mark here.
-我觉得你就是 -但是我希望
- I think you are! - But I would hope
如果我让自己陷入了这种境地
that you would say that to me
你也能这么跟我说 明白吗
if I got myself in that kind of situation, you know?
坦率直言 不仅仅是追求表面
Just going out- - just going after the surface...
而是男人的品质
qualities. In a man.
好吧
Fair enough.
但我就是不明白他有什么问题
But I just don't see what's wrong with...
像他那样的男人 是很振作上进的
you know, a guy that, like, has his shit together.
这有什么问题吗
Like, what's wrong with that?
他是个男人 他把一切都处理得很好
He's a man. And he's got it sorted. Um...
他 他负责什么 他...
he's... he takes care of what, him- -
他很性感
So he's hot.
他很性感
So- - so he's hot.
他很有名
He's famous.
-他有才华 -不 什么 你这也太刻薄了
- He's talented. - No, what? No. That's really mean.
-那不是... -我这么问你吧
- That is not- - - Let me ask you this- -
你跟他第一次约会时上♥床♥了吗
Did you sleep with him on the first date?
我就是这个意思
That's what I mean.
你总是这样
This is what you do.
我是你朋友 我能观察到规律
I'm your friend. I'm picking up the patterns.
我觉得这太卑鄙了
I think that was a really low blow.
我认为
And I think that
你现在没有在应对事情
you're not coping with things right now.
这让你变得刻薄 抨击他人
And it's making you be mean and lash out.
还伤害我
And hurt me.
-我也真的很受伤 -姐们儿 你
- And it does hurt. - Oh, dude, you- -
我觉得你选择支持塞斯就是为了伤害我
And I think you just decided to choose Seth's side to hurt me.
是你斩断跟他的情缘的 伊莎贝拉
You broke up the band, Isabella.
你想去找个新男友
You wanted to go and find a new boyfriend...
-因为你不想跟塞斯待在一起了 -我没有
- Because you didn't want to be with Seth anymore! - No, I did not!
而现在一切都毁了
And now everything is fucking broken!
-所有人都毁了 -你还说我呢 不不不
- Everyone is broken up! - And you? No, no, no.
你们三个 你们三个和我
You three. You three and me.
一直都是这样
That's what it's always been.
我他妈受够了
I'm so fucking sick of it.
我不想再听到了
I'm sick of hearing about it.
我受够了你们三个之间
I'm so fucking sick of this weird, fucking,
奇怪的关系
like, fucking, like, dynamic between you three.
我 我不想掺和了
I'm- - I'm over it.
我受够了 老实说 你们三个
I'm done. And honestly, the three of you
需要好好地审视下自己
need to have a long, hard look at yourselves.
因为你们会开始失去朋友
Because you're gonna start losing your friends.
仅剩的一些朋友 从我开始
The ones that are left. Starting with me.
你想喝玫瑰葡萄酒吗 我不想喝红酒了
Do you want some rosé? Because I'm sick of the red.
我受够了
I'm sick of it.
她肯定在外面有男人了
She's seeing someone else, man.
有别人了 我知道
There's someone else. I know it.
-天呐 -我知道
- Jeez, man! - I know it.
我觉得是那个迈克尔·尼科莱
I think it's that Michael Niccolli.
《联邦警♥察♥》剧里的那家伙
Dude from the show. Feds.
我今天去了那边 桌子上有两个红酒杯
I went over there today and there was two wine glasses on the patio.
厨房♥彻底翻新过 明白吗
Kitchen is completely renovated. Okay?
不是简单的小改
Not just some touches here and there.
彻底翻新
Renovated.
真会说 因为女生从不会聚会喝红酒
Yeah, because girls never hang out and drink wine
或者翻新房♥屋什么的呢
or redecorate the house or anything.
绝对不会呢
That- - that never happens.
是彻底新修过了 要预约工程队的
This is, like, a construction job, right?
她早知道会离婚的
She knew this was coming.
她早知道她会离开我
She knew that she was gonna leave me.
所以她一直等着
So she just waited to do all of it
把我赶走后才这么做
until she could get me out of the house.
这样她就能跟别的男人开始新生活了
And she can start a new life with this other guy.
你开始说胡话了
You're- - you're talking crazy talk right now.
我这么跟你说吧
I'll tell you what, I'll tell you one thing.
如果她是在这么做的话
If that's- - if that's what she's doing,
那我就在调解时提到这事
then I'll bring that shit up in mediation. Huh?
你觉得在调解时提出这点会怎么样
How do you think that'll go in mediation?
我觉得提起这个是个馊主意
I- - I think that's a terrible idea to bring it up.
我觉得是好主意
I think it's a good idea.
再说一次 你身陷战争迷雾
Again, fog of war, man.
我们应该谈谈各种物品怎么分
We're s'posed to talk about who's getting what.
战争迷雾 你现在身处战争迷雾中
Fog of war. You're in the fog of war right now.
你说得对 这就是战争
You're right, it is a war.
你要做很多重大决定
You're making a lot of drastic decisions.
-这是场战役 -我问你一个问题
- It's a battle. - Let me ask you something.
你准备好彻底失去安德莉亚了吗
Are you prepared to lose Andrea forever?
什么意思
What do you mean?
我就是问你 你准备好彻底失去她了吗
I'm just asking, man. Are you prepared to lose her, forever?
-当然没有 -好
- Of course not. - All right,
因为你现在就在走这条路 明白吗
'cause that's the path you're on right now. All right?
因为你现在有两个选择
'Cause you have two choices right now.
第一个选择是咬牙忍♥下痛苦
All right, the first whether you bite the bullet,
拯救你们的友谊
salvage your friendship,
你把这当做是一次成长的机会 明白吗
and you take it as an opportunity for growth. Right?
第二个选择是你继续抗争
And the second one is you continue to fight it
最后认输
and eventually you fold.
然后你就完蛋了
And then you're fucked.