娃娃脸

他们会想采访我 而我讨厌搞播客的人
and they'll want to interview me and I hate podcast people.
亲爱的 你得调整你的生活 懂吗
Babe, you need to shake up your life. Okay?
别去找房♥子了 去旅游
And instead of looking for a place, have a travel moment.
找一张地图
Get yourself a map,
把手放在你能想象到的最远的地方
put your finger on the farthest place you can imagine,
然后扔掉地图 去哥斯达黎加
and then throw out the map and go to Costa Rica.
故意迷失在丛林里吗
So intentionally get lost in the jungle?
这建议太馊了
That's terrible advice.
不好意思 我不知道我的建议还要被评级
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize my advice was getting graded.
你得找到一间上进的公♥寓♥
You need to find an apartment that's aspirational-
有风景 有健身房♥
a view, a gym...
表达着"我的性成功里蕴含了性感"
something that says, "I put the 'sexy' in 'sexcessful.'"
如果"成功"拼法不同的话
If "Successful" Was spelled differently.
当然了 因为所有成功人士都很幸福
Oh sure, because all rich successful people are happy.
想想吧 麦迪逊 史蒂夫·乔布斯自杀
Think about it, Madison. Steve Jobs killed himself.
史蒂夫·乔布斯没有自杀
Steve Jobs didn't kill himself.
你干嘛老是纠正我
Okay, why are you always correcting me?
因为你总是说错
Because you're consistently wrong.
那个 我不用非得今天就搞清这些事
Um, you know, this isn't something I have to figure out today.
-别紧张 茱尔斯 -这跟你无关
- Don't sweat it, Jules. - Yeah, this has nothing to do with you.
这是个关于我的争论 也是我一手造成的
I mean, it is an argument about me and I did directly cause it,
不过是的 不用担心
but, yeah, no worries.
-那个倒酒的人呢 -是啊
- Hey, where's the alcohol man? - Yeah.
茱尔斯 你要不试试含羞草鸡尾酒
Well, Jules, why don't you try a mimosa?
香槟是更贵
I mean, sure, the champagne is more expensive,
但这是成功人士投资自己的品质
but it's a quality of successful people to invest in themselves.
或者喝血腥玛丽
Or get a Bloody Mary.
它含有有趣 幸福 性感之人的品质
It has qualities of fun, happy, sexy people
他们隔三差五就想给生活增添趣味
who like to spice it up every now and then.
是啊 整个人生哲学都是基于《美食 祈祷和恋爱》
Oh yeah, basing your entire life philosophy off Eat Pray Love
听上去可刺♥激♥了 小黛
sounds spicy, Stell.
我等不及读你的传记了 麦子
Well, I can't wait to read your memoir, Mads:
我工作过 然后死了
I Worked. Then I Died.
准备好点餐了吗
Can I take your order?
再给我点时间
I think I need a minute.
我能给你约上简直不可思议
Okay, the fact that I got you this appointment is insane.
你知道《装♥修♥兄弟》吗
You know the Property Brothers?
这是他们的第三代堂兄弟 按照血统来说
This is their third cousin. By blood.
我只是希望接受你的建议不会让史黛拉生气
I just hope choosing to take your advice doesn't make Stella upset.
我感觉我现在正需要进取心
I just feel like aspirational could be what I need right now.
你做出了正确的决定
You made exactly the right decision.
听着 我爱小黛
Look, I love Stell,
但自从毕业后 她就不停换工作 一会儿照看♥房♥♥子
but she's been bouncing from house-sitting gig
一会儿当保姆 一会儿出国旅游
to nannying job to trip abroad since we graduated.
她其实就是个衣着光鲜的无家可归之人
I mean, she's basically a very well-dressed homeless person.
女士们 欢迎 谁准备好改变她们的生活了
Ladies, welcome. Who's ready to change their entire life?
我
Um, me.
这里是全城中唯一可看到
This view is the only view in the entire city
全部19位卡戴珊房♥子的地方
that offers visibility into the homes of all 19 Kardashians,
而且 天气好的时候
plus, on a clear day...
还能看到布莱克·希娜[美版凤姐] 嗯
Blac Chyna. Yeah.
这边
This way.
问个小问题
Quick question.
这个沙发是定制的吗
This couch... custom?
-是的 -我就知道
- Oh, yeah. - Oh! I knew it!
三个词 日本雪猴
Three words: Japanese snow monkeys.
能再提示几个词吗
Could I have a few more words?
你的出国旅行
For your trip abroad.
赤石山的雪猴会改变你的生活
The snow monkeys in the Akaishi Mountains will change your life.
茱尔斯 快来看
Jules, come look at this!
马上 我在跟 我妈发短♥信♥
One second, I'm just texting... my mom.
那里很冷
It's really cold there,
但我知道有个地方有防寒服促销
but there's a thermal wear sale at this spot I know.
宇宙在给你发送暗示
I mean, the universe is sending you a sign.
女士 你不在这儿工作
Ma'am, you don't work here.
你看上去美呆了
You look amazing.
不客气
You're welcome.
-茱尔斯 -来了
- Jules! - Yep.
这好漂亮
No, this is beautiful.
除了内部的便利设施
Now, in addition to the amenities in-unit,
楼里还有健身房♥
the building features a gym,
两个泳池 一个水疗 一个娱乐中心 一个射箭场
two pools, a spa, a rec center, an archery range,
一个内部心理咨♥询♥师
an in-house therapist,
随时有小狗供你玩
puppies you can play with whenever you want to,
两家提供冰燕麦牛奶拿铁的咖啡馆
two coffee bars with oat milk lattes on draft,
一个烤蟹手卷吧 一个录音室
a baked crab handroll bar, a recording studio,
一个室内滑雪山
an indoor ski mountain,
一间
a meditation room
完全由Diptyque蜡做成的冥想室
made entirely out of the wax of a Diptyque candle.
好了 我... 一个月房♥租多少钱
Okay, I'm gonna just, um... how much is this per month?
-给你点时间看看 -谢谢
- Give you a moment. - Thank you.
不 不
No, no.
-似乎可行 -可行
- Oh, this seems doable. - Doable?
怎么可行 一个中等国家的国内生产总值
Doable as what? The gross domestic product of a mid-sized nation?
你太小题大做了
Oh, you are being dramatic,
你薪水肯定不错 你工资多少
I'm sure you're doing fine at work. What are you making?
茱尔斯 等等 这怎么可能 那最多算是入门级工资
Jules, wait, how is that even possible? That's barely entry level.
你从没要求过加薪吗
I mean, have you never asked for a raise?
你从没要求过加薪
You've never asked for a raise?
好吧 不好意思 我...
Okay, I'm sorry. Listen, I just--
我只是觉得和西莱丝特谈话极其吓人
I just find talking to Celeste incredibly intimidating.
行了 别管公♥寓♥了
Okay, that's it. Forget the apartment.
新的建议 你今天就去找你的老板
New piece of advice-you're sitting down with your boss today,
要坚强 自信 挺身而进
you are being strong, assertive, and leaning the fuck in.
-我会试试的 抱歉 -那个词
- Okay, I will try. I'm sorry. - And that word.
无论如何 你都不能为
Okay, under no circumstances are you to apologize
要求得到你应有的工资而道歉
for asking to be paid what you deserve.
无论如何
No matter what:
不准说抱歉 懂吗
do not say "Sorry." Got it?
懂了
Got it.
-很好 -懂了 抱歉
- Good. - Got it. I'm sorry.
我是为我之前说的抱歉而道歉
I'm sorry that I said I'm sorry before.
我很感谢你抽空见我 奥斯洛女士
I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, Ms. Oslow.
拜托 叫我西莱丝特
Oh please, call me Celeste.
我在为我们
I'm trying this new
夏季的护肤清单试用这款新的两栖动物美容
amphibian facial for our summer skin care list.
这个补水效果简直惊为天人
It's unbelievably hydrating.
薇洛
Willow?
说到这个 你的皮肤好光滑
Speaking of, your skin is luminous.
你平时用什么保养呢 胎盘素吗
What are you using, placenta?
主要是香皂
Soap, mostly.
还有水
Oh, and, uh, water.
就是水 香皂 然后再水 大概就这样
Uh, I'd say water-- soap, water-- is like the whole routine.
这我们倒是没试过
We haven't tried that yet.
来一杯哈瓦那辣椒绿果汁吗
Habanero green juice?
谢谢 天呐 好的
Oh, wow, thanks. Oh, Jesus, okay.
这个排毒效果超级好哦
It's incredibly detoxifying.
抱歉 不...
Sorry. Nope...
不对 不是抱歉
Nope, not sorry.
我很肯定那只是喝了辣椒汁的正常反应
That was a reasonable reaction to pepper juice and I stand by it.
对了 我是网页设计团队的茱尔斯
I'm Jules, by the way, from the Web design team.
我喜欢把这里的人和名字对应起来
I love putting a face to a name around here.
茱尔斯 茱尔斯
Jules. Jules.
宝石
Jewels.
祖母绿 石榴子石 诞生石
Emeralds. Garnets. Birthstones.
诞生 筑巢 鸟类
Birth. Nesting. Birds.
知更鸟 蓝鸦 松鸦 茱尔斯
Robins. Blue Jays. Jay. Jules.
-记住了 -好的
- Got it. - Right.
总之 我来找你是因为...
Anyway, the reason I wanted to sit down with you was, uh...
味道不对 我们说过的
No. We talked about this.