娃娃脸

肛♥交♥ 他的癖好是这个
Ass play. That was the fetish.
抱歉 我刚才被打断了
Sorry, I got cut off before.
好
Cool.
大家都期待这周末吗
So everyone psyched for the weekend?
-天啊 你也要去吗 -去哪
- Oh my God, are you going, too? - Going where?
-威肯[周末] -嗯 我问去哪
- The Weeknd. - Yeah, but I'm asking where.
他们还没宣布 但应该是在
Oh, they haven't announced it yet, but it's supposed to be
一个很小 很亲密的场所
a really small venue, really intimate,
哈迪德也许会去 但谁知道呢
and The Hadids might be there, but who knows.
所以是演唱会
Okay, so a concert.
耶
Yeah.
谁开唱
Who's playing?
周末
The Weeknd.
你就是那个假装是别人的人 对吧
You're the one who pretended to be someone else, right?
也许我能帮上忙 柯林
Maybe I can be helpful, Colin.
周末就是歌♥手
Um, the Weeknd is a singer,
他的真名是阿贝尔 他有一些
whose real name is Abel, and he has some...
很好听的歌♥
cool tunes.
叫做波普
They're called bops.
《我和你在一起的时候感觉不到我的脸》
"I Can't Feel My Face When I'm with You"?
这是我们这个时代最伟大的情歌♥之一
It's one of the greatest love songs of our time.
嗯
Right. Yeah.
还有人有什么想说的吗
So does, uh, anyone else have anything they'd like to say?
-我看了一篇很有意思的新闻 -除了史蒂夫
- I read something kind of cool. - Anyone other than Steve?
《华尔街日报》上的 关于利率
It was in the Wall Street Journal, about how interest rates
达到了2011年以来的最高点 然而消费者
are at their highest mark since 2011, yet consumers--
无法获得足够多的收入
Aren't able to generate enough income
将钱存进银行 我也看了
to put money into savings. Yeah, I saw that.
你觉得会影响到住房♥市场吗
Do you think it's going to have an impact on the housing market?
难说 如果初次买♥♥♥房♥♥的人
It's hard to say, you know. If first-time homebuyers
无法凑够首♥付♥
aren't able to put together a down payment--
是啊 那他们能搞到多少超额贷款
I know, well then what difference does it make
又有什么意义
how many jumbo loans they can string together?
两难选择
It's pick your poison.
是啊 我一直都在这么说
I know, that's exactly what I've been saying. Yeah.
你是做什么的来着 史蒂夫
What do you do again, Steve?
我是一个晚宴的客人
I'm a guest at a dinner party.
活在当下 我喜欢这家伙
Living in the moment. I love this guy.
既然这样 我提议敬一杯酒
On that note, I want to propose a toast.
这次晚餐的意义在于
This dinner was all about
聚拢一组志同道合的成人
bringing together a group of like-minded adults
他们影响了我的生活
who've really made an impact on my life.
我男友柯林
My boyfriend Colin...
我最好的朋友 茱尔斯 史黛拉 伊兹
my best friends in the world... Jules, Stella, Izzy...
还有史蒂夫
and Steve.
大家举杯
So let's all raise a glass.
大家举杯
Let's... all raise a glass.
我失陪一下
Please excuse me while I excuse myself, please.
该死
Oh shit!
乌龟吃了一袋鸡鸡
Turtle ate a bag of dicks!
谢谢你过来
Thank you so much for coming.
我不知道还能联♥系♥谁
I didn't know who else to call.
没事 你做了正确的事
Don't worry. You did the right thing.
你知道它吃了多少鸡鸡吗
Do you have any idea how many dicks he ate?
他好像吃完了大多数鸡鸡饼干
Um, well, I think he got through most of the cookie dicks,
但是还有鸡鸡软糖
but there were also gummy dicks
还有个棉花糖鸡鸡
and like a marshmallow dick, I think.
我必须知道它具体都吃了什么
It's really important I know exactly what was in it.
还在垃圾桶里 我看看
Um, well, it's still in the garbage, let me look.
波士顿市场 我就说味道怎么那么熟
Boston Market. That's what I was tasting.
茱尔斯 你能别再翻垃圾了吗
Jules, can you stop the dumpster dive, please?
我在找它吃了什么
I'm looking for what he ate, okay?
柯林 声明下 我真的有做一只鸡
Colin, for the record, I did cook a chicken.
-只是不是你吃的那只 -真的
- Just not the one you ate. - She did.
她试过了 她做了五只鸡
She tried. She cooked like five chickens,
可能会一直做下去
and probably would have kept going
要是她的鞋没有在烤箱里烧起来的话
if we didn't set her shoes on fire in the oven.
真的没事 我20多岁的时候
Guys, it's really fine. When I was in my 20s,
我连麦片粥都不会做
I couldn't make a bowl of cereal without screwing something up.
看看他现在 60年后 他成了医生
But look at him now. Sixty years later and he's a doctor.
你觉得我有多老
Ow! How old do you think I am?
说到医生 如果我要去为潜水认证做体♥检♥的话
Speaking of doctors, how loose are you with health insurance
健康保险宽松吗
if I need to get a checkup to get scuba certified?
不松
Uh... not loose.
它没事 它都吐出来了
He's totally fine, he vomited everything up.
我觉得乌龟需要点空间
You know, I just think Turtle could maybe use a little space,
你们最好能出去下
if you guys don't mind clearing out.
这太棒了 茱尔斯 进展相当顺利
This is great, Jules. This is going really well.
你的猫在驱邪
Your cat's having an exorcism,
我男友觉得我只有11岁
and my boyfriend thinks I'm an 11-year-old
-更擅长做幸运符而不是 -等等
- who's more equipped to make myself Lucky Charms than- - Wait!
-它没有吃幸运符吧 -没有
- He didn't eat Lucky Charms, did he? - No.
你竟然想把锅扔给我
I can't believe you're trying to make this my fault.
你当初为什么要告诉柯林
I mean, why the hell would you tell Colin
我们见多识广
we're sophisticated in the first place?
我们上周末买♥♥了塔可钟的东西去朋友家过感恩节
We brought Taco Bell to a Friendsgiving last weekend.
抱歉我想表现得更成熟
Well, sorry for wanting to come off a little more mature.
你就没有想过
Have you never wanted to
让你自己变得更好吗
make yourself a little bit better than you actually are?
还用你说
Are you kidding?
我每天都在努力让自己看上去更好
I'm constantly trying to seem better than I am.
我想让自己看上去即使单身和闺蜜一起玩也很开心
I wanna seem like I'm totally happy being single with my girlfriends
而不是成天心碎
and not still heartbroken all the time.
我不知道你还这么想
Well, I didn't realize you were still feeling that way
你能承认真的很勇敢
and I think it's really brave of you to admit that.
你根本不用那么努力
Well, I think you don't have to try so hard
因为你本身就很完美了
because you're already perfect the way you are
你交往的任何男人都应该能看到
and any guy you're dating should be able to see that.
你这么说我很感激
Well, I really appreciate that coming from you
因为你是我最好的朋友
'cause you are my best friend
我很开心你回到了我的生活
and I'm so happy you're back in my life.
各位 都冷静下吧
Guys, I think we should all kind of take a breather here.
或许听听音乐
You know, maybe listen to some music.
Alexa 播放派对音乐
Alexa, play party music.
好的
Okay.
史蒂夫
Steve?
-我的天 -我的天
- Oh my God! - Oh my God!
史蒂夫
Uh, Steve?
柯林 我可能稍微
Colin, I may have slightly
夸大了我朋友和我的成熟度
exaggerated the maturity levels of my friends and I.
棒
Yes!
你有Venmo吗 我要给你转钱
Do you have Venmo? I'm so Venmoing you!
理发省钱 洗车省钱 排烟检查省钱
Save on haircuts, save on car wash, save on Smog Check.
你为什么这么说
What makes you say that?
我很抱歉今晚我这么激动
Look, I'm sorry I got so crazy tonight.
我只是很高兴你想认识我的朋友
I was just so happy you wanted to know my friends and...
现在你认识了
...now you do.
这样有没有可能讨人喜欢
Any chance this is endearing?
非常讨人喜欢
It's entirely endearing.
提醒我在走之前要到史蒂夫的邮箱
Oh, remind me to get Steve's email before I go.
我想发给他《福布斯》一篇关于新兴市场的文章
I want to send him this Forbes article about emerging markets.
天呐
Oh, my God.
再次感谢你来一个陌生人家
Thank you again for coming to a stranger's house
解决一个奇怪问题
to solve a very weird problem.
相信我 我见过更怪的
Trust me, I've seen weirder.
当时有一只雪貂和一盒卫生棉条
There was a situation with a ferret and a box of tampons.
永远印在了我的脑海
I don't think I'll ever be able to get that image out of my head.
你能帮我个忙 把这个形象忘掉吗
Well, could you do me a favor and get this out of your head?
因为 我晚上一般不这样打扮
Because, uh, this is not my normal evening look.
我不记得你的眼睑是
Oh, yeah, I don't remember your eyelids being