娃娃脸

你应该告诉我我现在情况更好了
You're supposed to be the one to tell me that I'm better off now
我该出去转转而不是在家里沉沦
and that I should be going out instead of wallowing at home.
你搞笑吗 我试图让你多出去走走好多年了
Are you kidding? I tried for years to get you to go out more.
你搞得就像我和史黛拉
You acted like Stella and I
想要拉你加入邪教一样
were trying to indoctrinate you into a cult.
你们穿着相配的衣服
I mean, you did wear matching clothes
还有奇怪的吟唱
and there was all that weird chanting.
那是姐妹会
It was a sorority.
史黛拉还和那个克罗地亚海盗在交往吗
So, is Stella still dating that Croatian pirate?
不是每个违反了海事法的人都是海盗 茱尔斯
Not everyone who violates maritime law is a pirate, Jules.
她没有了 你要是过去五年没有回避我们的话
But no, she isn't. Which is the kind of thing you'd know
你就会知道的
if you hadn't been avoiding us for the last five years.
我从没回避过你们 我只是
I was never avoiding you, I just...
有点忙
got a little preoccupied.
你认识杰瑞米之前就这样
You were like this before Jeremy.
你以前的借口更烂
Your excuses just used to be worse.
你有次想离开圣帕特里克节派对
You tried to get out of a St. Patrick's Day party once
因为你得"重新烘干♥你♥洗过的衣服"
because you had to "Redry your laundry."
你就没有遇到过 床套里
Oh, you've never gotten a clump of wet T-shirts
包住了湿衣服的时候吗
caught in the fitted sheets?
我并不是不想和你们玩 我只是
It's not that I didn't want to spend time with you, I just...
只是在一大群女生中间我会不知所措
I just don't know how to act in a big group of girls.
看看那些女生 茱尔斯
Look at those girls, Jules.
交女性朋友很重要
Surrounding yourself with women is important.
我知道
I know it is.
我只是觉得小团体很吓人
I just find the whole clique thing intimidating.
你怎么知道她们是小团体 你都不认识她们
How do you know they're a clique? You don't even know them.
你好 抱歉打扰
Hi. Sorry to bother you.
我们想知道你们是怎么认识的
We were just wondering how you guys know each other.
这是我的小队
Oh, this is my fucking squad.
我愿为她们而死
I would literally die for these girls.
嗯 但在某个时候
Right, but at a certain point,
我们不都会被Instagram上的东西所影响吗
aren't we influenced by what we see on Instagram
所谓的"小队"
and really the whole "Squad" Thing
不过是社会
is just another way for society
聚集相同魅力女性的方式之一吗
to group together women of similar levels of attractiveness?
我们是美国陆军的第二中队
We're the Second Squadron, 23rd Cavalry Regiment
23号♥骑兵团
of the United States Army.
梅根在巴格达为了救我肩膀中了两枪
Meghan took two bullets in the shoulder for me in Baghdad,
我看着突击队员卡罗尔死在我怀里
and I watched Commando Carol die in my arms.
卡罗尔
Carol.
都怪我
It was all my fault.
中了两枪 茱尔斯
Two bullets, Jules.
我看错她们了
I'm so-I was wrong about them.
我看错了很多事 我希望我们能重新做回朋友
I was wrong about a lot of things. I want us to be friends again.
为什么
Why?
因为你真的想我还是因为你寂寞了
Because you actually miss me or because you're just lonely?
我可不要做中场表演
I can't sign up to be the halftime show
而你等着杰瑞米把频道调回超级碗
while you wait for Jeremy to come put the Super Bowl back on.
不 我保证不会那样
No, I promise it won't be like that.
中场表演客观来说是最精彩的部分
And the halftime show is objectively the best part.
人人都知道
Everybody knows that.
茱尔斯 进来
Jules, come on in.
史黛拉 我来的不是时候吗
Hey, Stella. Is this a bad time?
没有 挺好的 什么事
No, no, this works. What's up?
好吧 因为你发短♥信♥说我可以过来的时候
Okay, because, you know, when you texted I could come over,
我以为你指的是你家
I just assumed that you meant to your house.
我现在在照看的房♥子
Oh, the place I'm house-sitting right now
在帕萨迪纳那边
is all the way in Pasadena,
所以我想着这里见面会更方便点
so I just figured it'd be easier for you to meet me here.
抱歉 我很少看...
Sorry, I don't really watch a lot of...
这是...
Is this, uh...
色情片吗
porn?
不是 我这次确认过
No, no. I made sure this time.
莱蒙是我的一个艺术家朋友
Lemon is an artist friend of mine,
她有新项目的时候我都会来帮她
so I just help out whenever she has a new project.
作为家装的一部分 我们在逆向设计
We're reverse-engineering the concept of objectifying women
物化女性的概念
as part of the home construct.
当然
Of course, yeah, well,
你跟我说了后 一切都说得通了
that makes perfect sense now that you've told me.
你的骨架 很有诗意
Your bone structure is... poetic.
-谢谢 -莱蒙 能休息五分钟吗
- Thank you. - Lemon, can we take five?
有段时间没见过了 亲爱的
So... it's been a minute, babe.
嗯 我知道 抱歉突然来造访
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry it's so out of the blue.
我只是 我之前去看了麦迪逊
I just... I went to see Madison earlier,
她很生我的气
and she's really upset with me,
我希望你能给我点建议
so I was hoping I could get your advice.
好的 我只是有点意外
Okay. I mean, I'm just a little surprised.
大学的时候 我总是感觉
In college, I always got the impression
我让你不自在
that I made you feel uncomfortable.
-酸奶黄瓜酱 -天
- Tzatziki! - Oh, God.
没有
Um, no...
更像是 你和麦迪逊
It's just more like, you and Madison
就像蝙蝠侠和罗宾
are kind of like Batman and Robin, okay?
而我就像阿尔弗雷德
And I was more like Alfred,
我也是蝙蝠侠的知己
who was also one of Batman's closest confidants,
只是我更喜欢韦恩庄园的舒适和安全
who just prefers the comfort and safety of the Manor.
所以罗宾和阿尔弗雷德单独聚的话
So it's just a slightly less natural scenario
感觉有点不自然
for Robin and Alfred to be hanging out alone.
你懂我意思吗
Do you get what I'm saying?
我一直很喜欢你 茱尔斯
I've always liked you, Jules.
我从不把我们视作英雄和恶人
I've never seen us as hero and villain.
他们一个是副手一个是管家 当我没说
They're a sidekick and a butler. Never mind.
我想说的是 你和我一样了解麦迪逊
My point is, you know Madison as well as I do,
我想着要说有谁的话
and I thought if anyone,
你应该知道怎么说通她
you would know how to get through to her.
-混乱 -那是莱蒙的朋友吗
- Chaos. - Is that a friend of Lemon's?
改变局面的唯一方式
The only way to ignite change in a situation
就是引入混乱
is through the introduction of chaos.
所以我每次有陪审团义务的时候
I mean, that's why I do a full-body henna tattoo
我就会去做一个全身的印度海娜文身
any time I have jury duty.
嗯 什么
Yeah, right. What?
好 我换个新例子
Okay, new example.
如果你对花生过敏 你会怎么做
Uh, if you were allergic to peanuts, what would you do?
我会买♥♥一支肾上腺素注射器
I would buy an EpiPen
然后远离花生和其他花生制品
and stay away from peanuts and their related products.
-错 -我觉得这样很对啊
- Wrong. - I really don't think that's wrong.
在你的想象中
What's the absolute most uncomfortable situation
最不自在的场景是什么
you can imagine putting yourself in?
我想想 麦迪逊批评我
I mean... Madison kind of called me out
说我总是躲着不跟你们去派对
for avoiding going to parties with you guys.
好 这个很好
Okay, that's perfect.
你得去一个派对 带上麦迪逊
You need to go to a party and take Madison.
这样就能说通她
That'll get through to her.
还有我 因为我喜欢派对
And me. Because I like parties.
好 但是邀请我参加派对的人并不多
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's not like I have a huge pile of invitations.
办公室里的女孩们倒是总有活动
I mean, the girls in my office always have something going on,
但是她们有点难以接近
but they're kind of unapproachable.
我告诉你 妹子
I'm telling you, girl,
你得扔一颗炸♥弹♥到你的舒适区
you need to take a bomb to your comfort zone
全部炸个精光
and just blow that shit up.
只有这一条路
It's the only way.
我得走了
I have to go.
莱蒙说 那个咖啡桌对我感兴趣
Lemon said the coffee table was into me
看起来是我很想探索的东西
and that looks like something I want to explore.
好吧
Okay.
祝你好运
Good luck with that.
这里是乌姆 请稍等
This is Woom, please hold.
我读完了大♥法♥官索尼娅·索托马约尔的自传
So then I read the rest of Sonia Sotomayor's autobiography,
去上了普拉提课 去施食处当了义工
went to Pilates, volunteered at a soup kitchen,