娃娃脸

一直都这么大
They're the same size they've always been.
-茱尔斯 -朋友间的秘密应该是神圣的
‐ Jules. ‐ Secrets between friends are supposed to be sacred?
那只在针对我的时候才有效
Yeah, that only applies when I'm talking about me.
想都别想
It's not gonna happen.
-交易 -比这还劲爆吗
- A trade. - Better than this?
在乔伊·劳伦斯家举办的秘密名人派对的
How do you feel about the exclusive to a secret celebrity party
独家新闻怎么样
at Joey Lawrence's house?
-谢了 算了 -他将宣布他要死了
- Thanks, but no thanks. - To announce that he's dying.
威士忌 不加冰
Whiskey, neat.
我也要一样的威士忌
Yes. Whiskey, same.
我平时也这么点
That's my order, too.
谢谢
Thank you.
我的天
Oh... Oh, my God.
味道就像唐·德雷柏和汽油混在一起
It tastes like Don Draper and gasoline.
能给我一杯伏特加苏打加17片酸橙吗
Can I have a vodka soda with 17 limes?
-你还好吗 -嗯 什么
‐ Are you okay? ‐ Yeah. What?
不好 是这样的
No. Here's the thing.
你这么酷 这么漂亮 这么有趣
You're so cool and fabulous and interesting,
而我就这样
and I am... just like this.
你觉得我有趣的原因是
The reason why you find me interesting is
因为我不像你一样把什么都展示出来
because I don't put it all out there like you do.
我父母以前是麦当娜的替补舞者
Like, my parents were backup dancers for Madonna,
有次在去东京的航♥班♥上做♥爱♥
who fucked once on a flight to Tokyo
然后在巡演结束前就分手了
and then split up before tour was over.
我从不跟人说这事因为无聊乏味
I don't tell people that because it's tedious and boring.
天啊 这是我听过的最有意思的事
Holy shit, that's like the most interesting thing I've ever heard.
我父母在一家Brookstone相遇
My parents met at a Brookstone,
同时伸手去拿同一个夜光沐浴收音机
both reaching for the same glow‐in‐the‐dark shower radio.
要不你今晚就不要
Okay, how about for tonight you don't...
分享太多故事
you know, share as much?
人们喜欢神秘女人
People like a mystery woman.
嗯 我明白
Okay, yeah, I get it.
就像当一个不出名的女生和一个名人合影
Like when a non‐famous girl gets photographed with a celebrity
图片介绍写的是
and then the caption reads,
"奥兰多·布鲁姆和神秘深褐色头发女子合影"
"Orlando Bloom pictured with mystery brunette."
你就好比毒品是人一样
You're kind of like if drugs were a person.
-给 -天 谢谢
- Here you go. - Oh, my God, thank you.
该死 我老板想知道我在哪
Oh, shit, my boss wants to know where I am.
-我需要引用原话 -你去做你的工作
‐ I'm gonna need quotes. ‐ Okay, you go do your job.
我保证我再也不会跟任何人说起任何事
I promise I will never talk to anyone about anything ever again.
-我用乌龟的性命发誓 乌龟是我的猫 -我不在乎
- I swear on Turtle's life. Turtle's my cat. ‐ I don't care.
你肯定想知道我在想什么
I bet you're wondering what I'm thinking about.
抱歉 我只是想给手♥机♥充电
Oh. Sorry, I'm just trying to charge my phone
而你刚好站在插座前面
and you're standing in front of the outlet.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
我没有名字
I don't have one.
好吧
Okay.
你住在洛杉矶吗
Do you live in L. A.?
有人住在洛杉矶吗
Does anyone live in L. A.?
百分之八的电还够用
You know, eight percent is probably fine.
茱尔斯 想尝尝这个吗
Hey, Jules. You want a hit of this?
这是加了微量鸦♥片♥的薄荷味木瓜
It's mint papaya with just the teeniest amount of opium.
不了 谢谢
Ooh, no thank you.
别生气 麦迪逊来了
So, don't be mad, but Madison's here.
茱尔斯 我叫你别告诉她的
Jules, I told you not to tell.
我知道 我为你保密
I know, I kept your secret,
然后我不小心说了另一个秘密
but then I accidentally told another secret,
其实是麦迪逊客户的秘密
which was actually Madison's client's secret,
所以为了交换秘密 我不得不说了你的秘密
so to trade secrets, I had to tell your secret...s.
这简直就是灾难
Well, this is gonna be a cluster fuck.
不过回头想想的话
You know, in retrospect,
我嗑到这么嗨真是太有远见了
it is with incredible foresight I got this high.
你觉得麦迪逊会因为你撒谎而生气吗
You think Madison's really gonna be that mad that you lied?
不 她不会生气
No, she's not gonna be mad.
她会恐慌发作
She's gonna have a panic attack.
这是魔术表演
This is a magic show.
我的天
Oh, my God!
我的天 麦迪逊最怕魔术了
Oh, my God! Madison is terrified of magic.
记得那个人在凯蒂·海瑟薇毕业派对上
Remember that guy who was doing card tricks
表演纸牌魔术吗
at Katie Hathaway's graduation party?
嗯
Yeah.
他叫她选一张牌 结果她揍了他一拳
He asked her to pick a card and she punched him in the face.
笑死人了
It was hilarious.
你不是说这个派对是因为乔伊要死了吗
Wait, I thought you said this party is because Joey's dying.
没错啊 他沉迷魔术
No, he is. He's obsessed with magic.
所以他找来了一个著名魔术师来表演一个疯狂魔术
So he got this famous illusionist to do this insane trick
他们会让他的心脏停跳三分钟
where they stop his heart for three minutes.
真是松了口气 他不会死于绝症
Oh. Well, I'm relieved he's not dying of a terminal illness
而是一个虚假的心脏病魔术
but rather of a fake magic‐induced heart attack.
我真的不懂
I honestly don't understand
她为什么这么怕魔术
why she's so freaked out by magic, anyway.
无法控制会发生什么
Um, not being in control of what's happening,
没人告诉她情况 被故意欺骗
not being told what's going on, being deceived intentionally.
等等 这些都是麦迪逊讨厌的事
Wait. Those are all the things that Madison hates.
不准再抽水烟了
Okay, no more hookah for you.
我要怎么猜出你名字
How the fuck am I supposed to guess your name?
有无数个名字
There's like 10 trillion fucking names.
伊兹 你看到麦迪逊了吗
Izzy, have you seen Madison?
我讨厌比弗利山庄里的派对
I fucking hate parties in the Hills.
你们根本不尊重我在这做的事
You guys have no respect for what I'm trying to do here.
走吧
Let's just go.
满足你们
It's what you wanted.
我们不能过去
Oh! Uh, uh... We can't go over there.
为什么
Why not?
这是个... 我不敢相信我要说出这个词
It's a... I can't believe I'm going to say this word...
秘密
secret.
真的吗
Seriously?
我以乌龟的性命发誓我不会再透露秘密
I swore on Turtle's life I'd never tell another secret.
亲爱的 它是只猫 它有九条命 说吧
Honey, he's a cat, he has nine of them, so just tell us.
我觉得那是麦迪逊的医生男友
I think that's Madison's doctor boyfriend.
她说他的年龄是
She said his age is the reason
他们没有公开恋情的原因
they're keeping their relationship private
他们计划在派对后见面
and that they were planning on meeting up after her event.
也许他提前来
I mean, maybe he came early
因为他时间不多了
because he doesn't have that much time left.
他看上去像是我的拉比和库尔特·拉塞尔生的孩子
He looks like my rabbi and Kurt Russell had a baby,
不过是本杰明·巴顿那样的
but like a Benjamin Button baby.
天 我们不能让她在这么多人面前慌乱
God, we can't let her freak out in front of all these people.
不管了 我要过去
Fuck this, I'm going in.
麦迪逊
Madison?
现在不是时候
Guys, not now.
抱歉打扰你们的亲密时刻
Sorry to interrupt your intimate moment,
但我们找她有点事
but, um, we just need to borrow her for a second.
马上回来
One second.
史黛拉
Stella.
-茱尔斯 -麦迪逊
- Jules. - Madison.
-伊兹 -抱歉 没人叫我的名字
- Izzy. - Sorry. No one said my name.
你们想干什么
What do you guys want?
你什么都不跟我说
One of you doesn't tell me anything
而你管不住自己的嘴巴
and one of you can't keep her mouth shut.
好吧 你散发着有趣 愤怒的能量
Okay. Fun, angry energy coming from you,
但我们要跟你说件事
but we need to take a second for an announcement.
什么
What?
这是魔术表演
This is a magic show.
不 不是的
N‐No, it's not.
女士们先生们 再过一会儿
Ladies and gentlemen, in a matter of moments
我就会电击劳伦斯先生 直到他的
I will electrocute Mr. Lawrence until his heart,
心脏停跳 这个监控仪实时追踪
tracked by this monitor, stops.
认识你们我很开心
It's been great knowing you, everyone.
另一边见了
I'll see you on the other side.