娃娃脸

我赶过去大概要45分钟
it's gonna take me, like, 45 minutes to get to you,
要不我完事之后就直接回家好了
so, maybe I should just head home after this.
你疯了吗
Oh, you are being so crazy!
我需要你帮我说服伊兹 让她说服史黛拉
Look, I need you to help me convince Izzy to convince Stella
史黛拉的男伴是个杀人犯
that Stella's date is a murderer.
抱歉 你刚才说我怎么疯了
I'm sorry. What were you saying about me being crazy?
等你到了我再跟你解释
Look, I'll explain it all to you when you get here.
不过相信我 你在圣诞老人♥大♥会上不会撞到杰瑞米
But trust me, you are not going to run into Jeremy at Santa-con.
-你说得对 -谢谢 等等 你接受得好快 为什么
- Uh, you're right. - Thanks. Wait, that was too easy. Why?
因为我看见他了
Because he's here.
跟个女孩一起
With a girl.
我最后听到茱尔斯说的话是
The last thing I just heard Jules say
她那个渣前任
is that her fuckboy ex-boyfriend
正跟一个女的在博物馆约会呢
is on a fucking date at the museum.
我们得去市里 伊兹 快叫个车
We've got to get downtown. Izzy, call a Lyft!
-你还好吗 -没事
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
我们先是被困在滑雪缆车上
First, we get stuck on a ski lift,
现在整个地球都动了
and now the earth literally moves.
我一定是你的扫把星
I must be your bad luck charm.
这样说来她和已故的露西·加拉格还有共同点
Oh, I guess she has that in common with the late Lucy Gallagher,
她只差两个学分就能拿到护士学位了
who was just two credits shy from getting her nursing degree.
说实话 麦迪逊 你对这事记得太清楚了
Honestly, Madison, your memory for this stuff is incredible.
麦迪逊就像一头大象
Mmm, Madison's like an elephant
但是比大象小得多 而且也很好对付
except a lot smaller and easier to harm.
我叫到了 2分钟到门口 走吧
Okay, I got one. Outside in two minutes. Let's go.
伊兹叫的车吗
Here for Izzy?
这他妈是个什么东西
Uh, what the fuck is that?
-你们叫的车 -车应该有门
- It's a Lyft. - No, Lyfts have doors.
还有引擎
And engines.
还有辅助音响
And an aux cord.
我可以负责任地说 这辆车在软件上有注册
Well, I'll have you know this is registered with the app
而且符合上面的所有要求
and technically meets all the requirements.
你要是想听音乐 给小费我能唱圣诞颂歌♥
But if you want music, I do carol for tips.
伊兹 把这个混♥蛋♥取消了 再叫一辆
Izzy, cancel this asshole and get another car.
上面说没有其他可用车辆
It says no other cars are available.
有人清醒到能开车吗
Is anyone sober enough to drive?
好像因为地震
Looks like the earthquake
所有交通灯都坏了
took out all the traffic lights or something.
外面都堵得保险杠贴保险杠了
It's bumper-to-bumper out there.
除非 车上没有保险杠
Unless, of course, you don't have a bumper.
漂亮 有才
Nice. Good one.
好吧
All right.
我们得赶紧去接茱尔斯 上来吧
You guys, we've got to get Jules! Come on!
克劳斯女士 看来我是你的圣诞奇迹
Well, Mrs. Claus, looks like I'm your Christmas miracle.
真有意思
This is fun.
这就是最快速度了吗
Is this seriously how fast it goes?
茱尔斯 跟我说说 情况如何
Jules, talk to me. What's happening?
就那样 没什么
Oh, you know, not much.
我的前男友带着一位女伴
My ex-boyfriend is on a date
而这位女伴
with an individual I can
身材好得像维密模特一样
only assume is a Victoria's Secret Model,
而且因为发生了大地震
and there was a giant earthquake
博物馆已经进入了紧急封锁状态
that caused the museum to go into emergency lock-down.
还有 我穿得很像商场圣诞老人
Also, I'm dressed like a mall Santa.
商场圣诞老人
A mall Santa?
我发你链接的那件衣服呢
What happened to the costume I sent you a link for?
我打开看了
Well, I opened the link
但我后来买♥♥了这件 因为有口袋
but then I got this one instead because it had pockets.
简直就是灾难现场
It's a fucking disaster.
听我说 情况没那么糟糕
Okay, listen to me. It's not that bad.
我们已经在去找你的路上了
We're on our way to you now.
在这期间 你先找地方躲起来
And in the meantime, find a place to hide,
我们很快就到
and we'll be there soon.
族群中的雄性会选择
The male of the species would choose
最有吸引力的雌性繁殖后代
the most desirable mate for reproduction,
让不够有魅力的雌性
leaving the less desirable females
脱离族群的保护
outside the protection of the tribe.
-你要去哪儿 -我在探索
- Where are you going? - I'm exploring.
你是想给我们惹麻烦吗
Are you trying to get us in trouble?
要是触碰了警报 我肯定第一个跑
If you set off an alarm, I'm running for it.
你不会的
You wouldn't!
-你穿着这高跟鞋能跑吗 -走着瞧
- Can you run in those heels? - Watch me!
-快回来 -我不要
- Hey, come back here! - Never!
这下晚餐预约肯定赶不上了
Looks like we're definitely missing our dinner reservations.
至少我们可以来一场私人参观
Well, at least we're getting a private tour.
那现在干什么呢
So, what should we do now?
骨骼[上♥床♥]Bone,
脊椎生物[高♥潮♥]的构成要素
the building block of the vertebrae organism.
不是吧
Ugh, this can't be happening!
-确实很疯狂对吧 -什么
- I know. It's crazy, right? - What?
你和你妻子得赶紧回大厅去
You and your wife need to get back to the main lobby!
我们刚在一起一个月 但是懂你意思了
It's only been a month, but message received.
你们看起来很般配
Well, you're obviously a great couple,
但是我们要把大家集♥合♥起来 点人数
but we're rounding everyone up for a head count.
抱歉 史黛拉 这个我得让给伊兹
I'm sorry, Stella. I have to give this one to Izzy.
玛丽亚·凯莉的《圣诞节我只想要你》
Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You"
是我最喜欢的圣诞歌♥曲
is my number one holiday jam.
快嫁给他
Marry him.
麦迪逊 我知道你一定很难接受
Madison, I'm sure this must be hard for you.
你可以这样想
But just think of it this way:
你今年不用给我送圣诞礼物了
you don't have to get me a Christmas gift this year.
因为赢得这场赌约是我的唯一愿望
Because winning this bet is the only thing I want.
-你猜我找到了什么 -是玛丽亚的视频吗
- Oh, look what I have here! - Is it the Mariah video?
不是 是帕尼拉面包零售商场里
No, actually. It's a list of retailers
所有商♥铺♥的名单
in the Panera Bread strip mall
因为当时丹的车很巧地停在了那里
where Dan's car was mysteriously parked.
你说你是去办事的 对吗
You were doing errands, right?
我看看 有时尚美甲 斯塔比爱犬洗浴美容中心
Let's see, there's Sassy Nails, Stubby's Dog Wash and Groomer,
以及查克芝士
and Chuck E. Cheese.
好了 我们得绕个路
Okay, we're gonna need to make a quick stop
去最近的精神病院
to the nearest mental hospital.
没关系 史黛拉 那是多年前的事了
It's okay, Stella. It was so many years ago.
谁能记得几年前
Nobody can remember
自己跑腿办了什么事情
what errands they run a couple of years ago, right?
可店铺只有这么多 丹
Well, those are all the stores, Dan.
也许我只是很难相信
And I guess I just find it hard to believe
你难道真的记不住
that you don't remember
去美甲 养了一只狗 或是有个孩子
getting a pedicure, owning a dog, or having a child.
除非 你在声称自己
Unless, of course, you were lying
没去帕尼拉面包一事上撒了谎
about not being at Panera Bread.
我说不好 你觉得呢 伊兹
I don't know. What do you think, Izzy?
你说得确实很有道理
You do make a lot of strong points.
伊兹 你刚才不是还让我"嫁给他"
Izzy, what happened to "Marry him"?
毕竟老婆出事 十有八♥九♥是老公干的
Well, nine times out of ten, it's the husband who did it.
这个布料真不透气
Not a breathable fabric.
天哪 我看起来糟透了
Oh, my God! I look like a mess!
我现在是不是很丑
Do I look terrible?
你吗 不 你完全不丑
You? Uh, no, you don't look terrible.
你看起来令人苦恼地好看
You look upsettingly attractive.
真的吗...
Really? I mean...
我是临时从室友那儿借来的一条裙子
I borrowed this dress from my roommate the last minute.
有时候就感觉身上的衣服穿着不舒服
You know when you just don't feel good in what you're wearing?
我大概可以想象得到那种感觉
I suppose I can imagine what that feels like.
也许我只是很紧张
You know, I think I'm just nervous,
因为我是跟一个很喜欢的男生来的
'cause I'm dating this guy that I really like
这是我靠工作关系拿到的票
and I got tickets for this thing through work.
我之前还担心他会觉得这种活动很逊
And I was just worried he was gonna think this was really lame,
但他一直很开心陪我过来
but he's been really sweet about coming to this thing.
结果我们因为地震被困在里面
And then we get trapped here because of an earthquake?
这也太巧了吧
I mean, what are the chances?
可能性极低 但是不知为何