娃娃脸

我那时才意识到
And that's when I realized
我一直搞错了我的脸型
I'd been wrong about my face shape for years.
原来我的脸就是心形
It turns out it is a heart shape.
只是是那种比较圆的心
It's just one of those hearts that's really round.
真疯狂 而且是个很有趣的结论
Wow, that's crazy, and a very interesting conclusion
关于你为什么觉得《吉尔莫女孩》重启是次失败
to why you thought the Gilmore Girls revival was a failure.
姑娘们 快到聊天坑里来
Ladies, join us in the conversation pit.
我们刚在聊这周末员工静修的
We were just sharing our personal mission statements
个人任务陈述
for the employee wellness retreat this weekend.
天呐 太棒了
Oh my gosh, amaze.
我会讲要变得更加自信
Okay, so mine is gonna be to be more confident.
等等 不对 少一点优柔寡断
Wait, no. Um, less indecisive.
其实我也不确定
Actually, I'm not sure.
我要做一个全方位数码排毒
Mine's to do a full digital detox.
西莱丝特的海滩房♥有超快的无线网
Celeste's beach house has lightning-fast Wi-Fi,
但我唯一要连接的就是大自然母亲
but the only connecting I'll be doing is with Mother Nature
以及我漂亮的同事们
and my gorgeous colleagues.
茱尔斯 你去年没参加静修
Jules, it was such a bummer
真是遗憾
that you had to miss last year's retreat.
还有前年
And the one before that.
是啊 希望你今年不会又有
I know. I really hope there's not another specific reason
一个不能去的具体原因
why you can't come this year.
嗯 关于这个
Ooh, yeah, um... about that.
下午好 欢迎来到第五届
Good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual running
"茱尔斯会用什么借口
of "What excuse will Jules use
逃避公♥司♥静修"大赛
to get out of attending the company retreat?"
茱尔斯在过去几个月里取得了很大的进展
Jules has been making tremendous headway these last few months,
在工作内外和她的朋友们都变得更亲近了
getting closer with her friends in and outside of work.
但这次活动可以加固
But this event really stands to solidify
她在"闺蜜圈"中的身份
her position as, quote, "One of the girls."
比赛开始
And they're off!
这周末的话
Um... the thing about this weekend is, uh...
外婆的葬礼处于领先
It's Grandma's Funeral up in front
-食物中毒落后一点 -拜托
- with Food Poisoning half a length behind! - Come on!
我的卫生间出了点问题
There's a situation, um, with my bathroom.
第一个转弯处
And here comes Plumbing Issues
管道问题似乎很强势
looking strong out of the first turn.
显然我很想去参加静修
Obviously I would love, ahem, to attend the retreat, um...
管道问题领先于其他借口
Plumbing Issues is trailed by the rest of the pack.
侄子的受诫礼 完全忘记
Nephew's Bar Mitzvah, Totally Forgot,
父母要来排在最后
and Parents in Town bringing up the rear!
等等 突然间 一匹黑♥马♥冲了出来
Wait a minute, out of nowhere, a dark horse is picking up speed!
是她要参加
It's She's Gonna Go!
进入最后一个直道 她要参加排名第三
Into the final straightaway, it's She's Gonna Go for third!
所以今年我...
And that's why this year I'm...
-她要参加冲到第二了 -要参加
- She's Gonna Go for second! - ...going.
她要参加以微弱优势取得冠军
She's Gonna Go for the win by a nose!
娃娃脸
第一季 第八集
有你在 茱尔斯 静修会有趣得多
The retreat is gonna be way more fun with you there, Jules.
我去年"双人结肠"
I was so over being the only one
没有找到搭档难过死了
without a partner for couples' colonics last year.
邮件说要带上运动服
The email said to pack athletic wear.
说的是带上9岁男生
Did it say pack athletic wear
参加足球训练的运动服吗
for a nine-year-old boy on his way to soccer practice?
因为这个就是
'Cause that's what this is.
-需要我帮你看我的信件吗 -不用
- Uh, can I help you with my mail? - No, I'm good.
所以开始随意犯联邦重罪了吗
Oh, so we're just committing casual felonies now.
有时我的信件会寄到这里 你知道的
No, I get my mail sent here sometimes, you know that.
我很确定我不知道
I feel certain that I didn't.
你只是一个
You're just a person that
不会丢失重要账单 文件的人
doesn't lose important bills and documents and stuff.
一个人
So, a person?
-看 该去洗牙了 -天
- Oh look, time to get your teeth cleaned. - Oh, man.
我喜欢那件
Hey, I liked that.
不 你说得对 太残忍♥了
Oh, no, you're right. It's too cruel.
-谢谢 -不 我是说对Goodwill二手店的人来说很残忍♥
- Thank you. - No, I meant for the people of Goodwill.
我的天 史黛拉 你和乔治·克鲁尼是笔友吗
Oh, my God, Stella, are you pen pals with George Clooney?
不是 是艾莫[乔治·克鲁尼妻子]
No, no. Amal.
我需要的是工商学院录取通知书
What I really need are business school acceptance letters.
你会进入好学校的
Look, you're gonna get somewhere great.
一切都会成功 因为生活很棒
It's all gonna work out, 'cause life is amazing.
我去 不能带这个
Holy shitballs, nope!
你真是玩得太开心了
Okay, you're officially having too much fun with this.
干什么 我心情好
What? I'm in a good mood.
你知道 当你性感 成功年长的男友
You know, that can happen when your hot,
跟你说他爱你的时候 你心情自然会大好
successful older boyfriend tells you he loves you.
没什么
It's no big deal.
我们只是两个成年人 刚好发现
We're just two mature adults who just happen to have discovered
我们的灵魂完美相融于
that our souls mesh perfectly
欲望和精神满足的交响乐里
in a delicate symphony of desire and spiritual fulfillment.
我为你感到高兴
Well, I'm very happy for you.
谢谢 我也为你感到高兴
Thank you. And I'm very happy for you.
真的 茱尔斯
Seriously, Jules,
你要去参加静修真的很棒
it's a big deal that you're going to this retreat.
你最近真的很努力
I mean, you've really been putting in the effort
做一个有真正朋友而不是把猫当朋友的女人
to be a functioning woman with actual friends who are not her cat.
我感觉我最近做女生很不错
Yeah, I feel like I have been doing amazing at being a girl lately.
-没人这么说 -别这么高调
- Eeh, no one said that. - Slow your roll.
你以为碧柔毛孔清洁带
You thought a Bioré strip
是以色列和埃及之间的那块土地
was that land between Israel and Egypt.
对我来说 对我来说很棒
For me. Amazing for me.
我只需要带着开放的心态去参加
I just have to go in there with an open mind.
我们不仅仅要开放我们的心态
We need to do more than open our minds.
我们要释放我们的呼吸
We need to release our breath
运动盆底肌
and engage our pelvic floor.
让羊吸收掉负能量
Let the goats absorb the negative energy.
姑娘们 热烈欢迎伊美尔达
Ladies, let's give a warm welcome to Imelda,
这是她连续第四年担当我们的静修母亲
who is leading us as retreat mother for the fourth year in a row.
我很开心回到我的马里布家
I am so very happy to be back here at my Malibu home,
完美坐落于海滩和森林
perfectly situated between beach and forest,
沙滩和天空
sand and sky...
梦龙乐队鼓手
...the drummer of Imagine Dragons
和果倍爽继承人之间
and the heir to the Capri Sun fortune.
头埋下去 茱尔斯
Humble head, Jules.
每年为你们主办这个静修是我的荣幸
Hosting this retreat every year is such an honor for you girls
我只希望我的生活里有一个我这样的人
that I only wish I had someone like me in my life
为你们无私奉献
to be the person that I am for you.
但鉴于我不能做自己 我找来了伊美尔达
But since I cannot be me, I have Imelda.
每次经历都是一次分娩
Every experience is a birth.
除了分娩
Except for birth.
也就是一个延续 延续
Which is a continuation. Continuation.
现在为猛烈的尖叫吸一口气
Now let's inhale for a violent scream.
劳拉漂浮得好远
Laura's floating pretty far out.
劳拉在冥想 茱尔斯 我们别打扰她
Laura's meditating, Jules. We shouldn't interrupt her.
她在独自旅行
She's on her own journey.
这是鸵鸟所代表的意义 你爱你的妹妹
That is what the ostrich represented, you do love your sister.
是的 我真的爱
I do! I really do!
滋养自己 姑娘们
Nourish yourselves, ladies.
她准备好了
She's ready.
很好
Oh, good.
有人看到劳拉吗
Um... has anyone seen Laura?
你的能量有被阅读过吗
Have you ever had your energy read before?
没有 不过要么是这个要么是颈部针灸
No, actually. But it was either this or cervical acupuncture.
嘘 说话会妨碍进程
Shhhh. Speech disrupts the work.
抱歉 但你问了我一个问题
Sorry. I mean you did ask me a question--
-是吗 -是的
- Did I? - Yes.
我要开始渗透你的金盾了
I'm now going to begin to penetrate your auric shield.
你也许会有激烈反应
You may have a very intense reaction.
尽量保持镇静 尽管这会很可怕
Try to remain calm, even though this will be very frightening.
我感觉到了什么 让我来帮助它浮现出来
I'm sensing something. Let's try to help it emerge.