生活大麻烦（2017）
Disjointed
第一季
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生活大麻烦（2017）
Disjointed S01E14
Part 2
July 23, 2020, 3:24 p.m.
那顶帽子为什么在动
Why is that hat moving?
-不 -天啊
- No. - Oh, my God.
因为我知道我是大老板
'Cause I know I'm the big boss man
手拿马克杯
Got a big-ass mug.
-妈 -黛比 把手从他裤子里拿出来
- Mom? - Dabby, get your hand out of his pants.
你没事吧
You okay?
我没事
Yeah, I'm fine.
该死 口水流得笔记上都是
Oh, fuck, I drooled all over my notes.
-挑灯夜战了 -是啊
- Pulled an all-nighter? - I did.
直到晚饭后我睡着了
Until I fell asleep after dinner.
我在大♥麻♥新闻联播上看到了庭审报道
Well, I saw some of the trial coverage on CNNN.
你看着真不错
You looked so nice.
我没胜算
I got no chance to win.
我只是想表明体系的愚蠢
I just wanted to make a point about the stupidity of the system,
却忽视了我的当事人的愚蠢
but I overlooked the stupidity of my clients.
我抓到他们在我车上做♥爱♥
You know, I caught them having sex in my car.
我该怎么办
What am I gonna do?
我会卖♥♥了它
I would sell it.
我是说他们俩丹克和黛比
I mean about Dank and Dabby.
别围绕他们 拿政♥府♥做文章
Don't make it about them. Make it about the government.
谁比我们更清楚
Who knows better than us
警♥察♥为了抓吸大♥麻♥的人有多过分呢
how much the feds are out to get pot smokers?
记得缉毒局的朋友吧
You remember our DEA pals.
他们可没有光明正大 你又何必这样呢
They don't fight fair, and why should you?
谢谢 特拉维斯
Thank you, Travis.
你总是清楚如何激怒我
You always know how to make me angry.
这次你是故意的
This time you did it on purpose.
每日一药
欢迎收看"每日一药"
Welcome to "Strain O' The Day."
我很荣幸地向你介绍
It is my privilege to introduce
大♥麻♥转盘
the Weed of Fortune.
大♥麻♥转盘
我可生你的气了
I'm so pissed at you.
-为什么 -五分钟前
- Why? - Up until five minutes ago,
这一环节还是介绍艾琳胡麻 爱尔兰正宗品种
this was gonna be Erin Go Bud, an authentic Irish strain,
我都准备好了
and I had a whole thing prepared.
我这周一直在练习爱尔兰口音
I've been working on me Irish accent all week,
没错 总督
I have, governor.
我们下周再介绍
We'll do that one next week.
从现在起 每次
From now on, every time
在露丝另类治疗店消费满二十块
you spend more than 20 bucks here at Ruth's,
你就可以转一次转盘
you'll get to spin the wheel
抽取难以置信的大奖 例如
for a chance at unbelievable prizes. Such as--
这连大♥麻♥都不是
This isn't even a strain.
比大♥麻♥更好
Because it's better!
你可以赢得免费烟卷
You could win a free joint.
或者九折购买♥♥玻璃制品 或者和我约会
Or 10 percent off any glassware. Or a date with me, Travis.
转一下试试
Give it a spin.
显然得过一会才能停下
Apparently this is gonna take a while.
既然我们有些时间
Since we have some time to kill...
放音乐
Play me music.
-我去 -告诉过你我准备了
- Holy shit. - I told you I worked on this.
高♥潮♥结束
And now, for the big finish.
重大新闻
丹克和黛比庭审第二天
庭审第二天 形势进入白热化阶段
Things are really heating up here on day two at the courthouse,
居然有商家把热狗卷进培根里售卖♥♥
where there's a guy who sells hot dogs wrapped in bacon.
干得漂亮
Good job, guy.
泰特斯森园林管♥理♥员♥ 你熟悉
Ranger Titus, are you familiar
推特账号♥园林管♥理♥员♥沃克·泰特斯吗
with the Twitter account Walker Titus Ranger?
熟悉 那是我的名字 沃克·泰特斯
Yes, that's my name. Walker Titus.
不过也恶搞了得州骑警队的球员
Though it's also a play on Walker, Texas Ranger.
麻烦记下证人觉得这个梗很聪明
Let the record reflect that the witness finds that clever.
你在那个账户上发表过以下推文吗
And did you send the following tweet from that account?
"今晚流星雨将光顾天使国家森林公园
"Meteor shower tonight in Angeles National Forest.
肯定能抓到不少瘾君子
Gonna bust a lot of stoners.
标签 爱我的工作 感到幸运
Hashtag 'love my job.' Hashtag 'blessed.'"
-这是在干什么 -法官大人 我们认为
- Where is this going? - Your Honor, it is our contention
联邦政♥府♥正利用国家森林公园的
that the federal government is using this national forest,
自然风光和壮美景色
with its natural splendor and beautiful views,
来引诱瘾君子并逮捕他们
to lure cannabis users and then arrest them.
-这显然是钓鱼执法 -你当真吗
- It's a clear case of entrapment. - Are you serious?
当然 还有先例
Damn right I am, and there's a precedent.
1994年 州上诉法♥院♥发现有人针对大♥麻♥吸食者
In 1994, a state appeals court found that a Pink Floyd laser show
组织了一起看似平克·弗洛伊德激光表演的诱捕行动
constituted a de facto sting operation targeting pot smokers.
我记得那个案子 格里菲斯天文台诉怪胎卢
I remember that case. Griffith Park Planetarium v. Freaky Lou.
我没发现这与此案有何联♥系♥
I fail to see the relevance to this case.
别着急 卡罗尔
Well, you're about to, Carol.
因为这个案子不再
Because this case is no longer
关乎这两个眼神迷离的年轻人
about these two doe-eyed youngsters.
而是关乎体制本身
It is about the system.
我要起诉整个国家公园服务体系
I'm putting the entire National Park Service on trial.
-就这样 -标签 "吃屎吧 泰特斯"
- Hell, yeah. - Oh, hashtag "Suck my dick, Titus."
"吃屎吧 泰特斯"这个标签为什么火了
Why is hashtag "Suck my dick, Titus" Trending?
一夜之间 所有人的大♥麻♥衣物都被偷了
So, everyone's hemp clothing got stolen on the same night?
对
Yeah.
但好消息是 我们做了研究
But the good news is, we did some research,
发现有一种古代仪式能移除诅咒
we found an ancient ceremony that can lift a curse.
我知道 羊血仪式
I know, the Goat Blood Ceremony.
我抹遍了全身 没效果
I smeared it all over, it doesn't work.
这个不一样
This one's different.
如果你能坚持住 你就会摆脱诅咒而重生
Um, if you go through it, you'll be reborn without the curse.
对 叫重生日
Yeah. It's called a re-birthday.
我参加了我朋友16岁重生日
I went to my friend's sweet 16 re-birthday
我的老处♥女♥绝缘咒被彻底移除了
and the curse of my virginity was totally lifted.
-那确实很厉害 -没错
- That does sound powerful. - Oh, it was.
还是两次
Twice.
自我解放在停车场等着你
Liberation awaits you in the parking lot.
重生日快乐
-惊喜 -天啊
- Ta-da! - Oh, God!
重生日快乐 皮特
Happy re-birthday, Pete!
那个粉色的是谁
Who's that pink being?
是保护你未来不受诅咒的
Uh, that is a powerful ranger
强大游侠
to defend you from future curses.
对吧
Right?
谢谢
Thank you.
欢迎光临德尔卷饼店 想吃点什么
Welcome to Del Taco. Can I take your order?
我要特大号♥卷饼加起司
I'll take a Whopper with cheese.
单人份厚皮披萨
Personal pan pizza.
特脆桶装套餐
Bucket of extra crispy.
烤汁猪排堡回归了吗
Is the McRib back?
一英尺肉丸 小麦
Footlong meatball, wheat.
大杯星冰乐
Venti Iced Frappuccino.
十块钱的五号♥泵
Ten dollars on pump number five.
六张彩票 一袋肉条和一个打火机
Six lottery tickets, a Slim Jim and a lighter.
德尔卷饼店
Del Taco.
我们是德尔卷饼店
We're Del Taco.
拜托各位 别闹
法官大人 为了证明我的当事人是被陷害的
Your Honor, in order to prove that my clients were entrapped,
我必须让他们出庭作证
I must call to the witness stand,
史蒂夫·丹柯森和黛比·夏皮罗
Steve Dankerson and Dabby Shapiro.
-棒 -太棒了
- Yeah! - Yes! Yes!
但你应该说 "登场吧"
Ooh! But you're supposed to say, "Come on down!"
反对 两名证人不能同时出庭作证
Objection. Two witnesses cannot testify at the same time.
卡罗尔 你真的在说你不想看这一幕吗
Carol, are you seriously saying you don't wanna see this?
撤回
Withdrawn.
你做得很好 女士
You're doing an excellent job, ma'am.
没什么比专心工作的女人更性感了
There is nothing sexier than a woman who's good at her work.
举起右手
Raise your right hand.
你们发誓说出真♥相♥ 所有真♥相♥ 全部真♥相♥吗
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
绝逼的
Fuck, yeah.
-拜托 -警♥察♥局叫我们发誓[骂人]的
- Come on, guys. - The cop told us to swear.
*祝你重生日快乐*
*Happy rebirithday to you*
生活大麻烦（2017）
Disjointed
剧集 | 生活大麻烦（2017） | 导航列表