生活大麻烦（2017）

Disjointed S01E11

Part 2 July 23, 2020, 3:24 p.m.

You're the marijuana Mozart.
毒品界的莎翁种植界的梵高
You're the Shakespeare of shake. You're Vincent van Grow.
我要真有那么厉害为什么我感觉
If I'm as good as those guys, why do I feel so...?
奇迹大♥麻♥
It's the miracle weed.
回来
Come back!
抓到你了
I got you.
我为什么找不到你了
Why can't I get you back?
回来回来
Come back! Come back!
我不知道我还能不能继续种大♥麻♥了
I don't know if I can grow anymore.
别太苛责自己孩子
Don't be so hard on yourself, kid.
今天别上班了做点对自己好的事吧
Why don't you take the rest of the day off. Go do something good for yourself.
好的谢谢
Okay. Thanks.
但是别做仰卧起坐我开着百叶窗呢
But no sit-ups. I got the blinds open.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
假装看监控录像为了接近你
Pretending to look at the security monitor so I can stand close.
首先
First of all,
假装看监控录像是我的工作
pretending to look at the security monitor is my job.
其次我们说好工作场合保持距离的
Second, we agreed, six-foot perimeter at work.
宝贝我们交往好几个月了
Baby, we've been a couple for months.
事实上今天早上还交往了一下
In fact, we coupled this morning.
而且很棒
Which was amazing,
但是我不想这里的人知道我们的事
but I don't want people here knowing about us yet.
-你知道结果大家都八卦 -我知道
- You know what'll happen. People gossip-- - I know.
但找男朋友一半的乐趣就在于被八卦
That's half the fun of having a boyfriend.
好吧但是还有露丝
Okay, but then there's Ruth.
你们俩什么时候生几个小猴子
"So, when are you two gonna make some chocolate wontons?"
看看我刚从烤箱里拿出了什么
So, look what I just pulled out of the ass that is my oven.
粪球
Shitballs!
热气腾腾的奥莉维亚的粪球
A hot, steaming pile of Olivia's Shitballs.
这玩意儿简直大卖♥♥ 谢谢玛丽亚
These things are flying off the shelves. Thanks, Maria.
谢谢宝贝你就是粪球的精华
Thank you, bestie. You're the shit.
天哪粪球的笑话真是不过时
Oh, God. The shit jokes never get old.
不不还是会的会的
No, no. They do. They do.
这让我想起了在监狱听到的一个故事
That reminds me of something I heard in the slammer.
罗德里格斯她是我一个狱友
See, Rodriguez, she was a cellie of mine,
等她老爸保释她
she was waiting for her old man to bail her out.
她跟我说小白妞听着
She said to me, "White lady, listen up."
-玛丽亚 -听着
- Maria. - "Listen."
你没进过监狱
You were not in prison.
只是被拘留了只有三个小时
You were in a police holding cell for three hours.
卡特在号♥子里时间不是靠钟表算的
Carter, when in the big house, you don't measure time by a clock.
而是靠为了生存
You measure it by how many lady-guards
要口多少个女警卫
you have to chow down on just to survive.
你根本没给任何人口
You didn't chow down on anyone.
我每天都这样欺骗着自己
That's what I tell myself every night.
谁嗑着自己的药嗑嗨了
Who gets high on her own supply?
奥莉维亚奥莉维亚
Olivia, Olivia
谁嗑着自己的药嗑嗨了
Who gets high on her own supply?
瞧瞧我又接到三个药房♥的电♥话♥
Check it out, I've got three calls from other dispensaries
都想销♥售♥粪球
all wanting to sell these Shitballs.
真假
Shut the fuck door.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
-很酷对吧 -是的
- It's pretty cool, right? - Yeah.
所以
So,
我在想也许
I was thinking it's probably
我们应该商量一下我们的事了
time we figure out what the deal is between us.
好
Okay. Yeah.
我们调了情亲热了一下
Well, we flirted, uh, made out a little,
-然后玩了玩咪♥咪♥头 -不是停
- and then there was nipple play. - No, stop.
我是说生意的事
I mean the business arrangement.
我们的利润要怎么分
How are we gonna split our profits?
我们的利润
Our profits?
抱歉是我用我奶奶的食谱做出来的
Sorry, I'm making them from my nana's recipe.
奥莉维亚
Olivia,
你只是有天带着几个软糖来了
you walked in here with a couple of fudge cookies one day.
是我提出了加入大♥麻♥ 起名粪球
I had the vision to put weed in them, call them Shitballs,
用厕纸包装的长远目光
and package them with toilet paper.
这可是很高的销♥售♥技巧好吗
I mean, that's Shark Tank-level, okay?
好吧你说的也有道理
Okay, you have a point.
所以我在想我们五五分
I'm thinking we split the profits fifty-fifty.
-你觉得呢 -我觉得这主意不错
- What are you thinking? - Okay. That sounds like a good idea.
但尝试前我也以为跟你亲热的主意不错呢
But so did making out with you until I tried it.
请享受八分之一的故乡
Enjoy an eighth of the old country
在弗拉特布♥什♥的萨尔瓦多真健康服务中心
at Salvatore's Authentic Health Services in Flatbush.
萨尔瓦多和弗朗西斯·斯卡拉蒂
Salvatore and Frances Scarlotti
将让大家宾至如归
will treat you like you are at mama's table
带领大家品尝意大利特产
as you sample such Italian specialties
比如那不勒斯红
as Napoli Red...
阿卡普尔科红白小碟
Acapulco Caprese,
臭吉利
Skunkgili,
还有我们最有名的自♥制♥阿尔弗雷多雷料理
and our famous homemade Alfredo Thunderfuck.
让小萨尔展示下我们威尼斯间的玻璃制品
Let Sal Jr. Show you our glassware in the Venetian Room.
留点肚子放弗朗西丝的
And save space for Frances'
最有名甜点像是意大利式脆饼
famous edible desserts, like biscotti...
印度大♥麻♥卷饼
...cannabisoli...
和大♥麻♥
...and pot.
在萨尔瓦多
At Salvatore's...
磕嗨了就是我们的家人
When you're high, you're family.
磕嗨了就是我们的家人
When you're high, you're family.
嘿嘿嗬嗬不公平的禁毒法得废除
Hey, hey, ho, ho! Unfair drug laws gotta go!
露丝·W·费尔德曼支持大♥麻♥的鼓动家
嘿嘿嗬嗬不公平的禁毒法得废除
Hey, hey, ho, ho! Unfair drug laws gotta go!
嘿嘿嗬嗬不公平的禁毒法得废除
Hey, hey, ho, ho! Unfair drug laws gotta go!
露丝我们能聊件事吗那肯定不是个问题
Ruth, can we chat about something that I'm sure is not a problem?
能是个问题吗因为我现在主要解决问题
Can it be a problem? I'm focused on problems right now.
特拉维斯和我在聊粪球事业
Travis and I were talking about the fifty-fifty split
-五五分成的事 -真棒你们在想办法了
- for the Shitball business. - Great. You're working it out.
是啊成为我们家第一个
Yeah. It's cool to be the first person in my family
靠合法贩毒赚钱的人还挺酷的
to make money selling drugs legally.
只是我还刚刚接触这一行
It's just that I'm new at this,
我不确定这分成合理
and I'm not sure it's a good deal.
那就跟特拉维斯说啊我不插手了
Then talk to Travis about it. I'm staying out of the way.
好吧
Oh, okay.
我是说我爱你但是
I mean, I love you, but
我在拯救世界呢
I'm saving the world here.
我懂了
I understand.
水力压裂那是什么
"Fracking." What is that, anyway?
不大确定但马克·鲁法洛讨厌它而我爱他
I'm not sure, but Mark Ruffalo hates it, and I love that guy.
好吧多谢你抽空帮我
Okay, well, thank you for your time.
嘿嘿嗬嗬
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
她寻求帮助而你拒绝了
She asked for help and you said no!
嘿嘿嗬嗬
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
她寻求帮助而你拒绝了
She asked for help and you said no!
-你在这里干什么 -我在抗♥议♥你
- What are you doing here? - I'm protesting you.
为什么啊我变成了过去的我也就是你啊
But why? I'm getting back to who I was when I was you.
我在为正确的事而战看看我的板子
I'm fighting for what's right. Check out my board.
那只是一些标题
That's just a bunch of headlines.
南太平洋垃圾岛
"South Pacific Trash Island?
极地冰盖
Polar ice caps?
俄式调味酱
Russian dressing"?
该死应该是俄♥罗♥斯♥黑客
Oh, crap. That should say "Russian hacking."
我刚吃了个鲁宾三明治
I'd just had a Reuben.
这里的一切都在千里之外
Everything here is 1000 miles away.
记得你在伯克利的集♥会♥上说了什么吗
Remember what you said at that rally in Berkeley?
我今晚绝对要上桑塔纳乐队
"I am definitely banging Santana tonight"?
在那之前
Before that.
你说放眼全球立足本地
You said, "Think globally, act locally."
我的确说过
I did say that.
真妙
Fuck, that's good.
你还是我的时候是在为人♥民♥抗争
What you fought for when you were me was people.
像是奥莉维亚
Like Olivia.