生活大麻烦（2017）
Disjointed
第一季
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生活大麻烦（2017）
Disjointed S01E07
Part 1
July 23, 2020, 3:23 p.m.
每日一药
大家好
Hi, everybody.
欢迎收看"每日一药"
Welcome to Strain O' The Day.
你们应该看到我们俩都盛装打扮了
You've noticed we're a little dressed up.
要是没看到 拜托 眼睛睁大点
But if you haven't, come on, dude, focus.
我们俩穿着标签都没摘的舞会裙子
We're wearing fancy-ass gowns with the tags still on
为了致敬今天"每日一药"的主题
in honor of today's strain...
毕业舞会之夜
Prom Night.
这种大♥麻♥为主的合成物可是专门为了
This sativa-dominant hybrid has been specially engineered
五月的这个魔幻之夜而特制的哦
to recreate the way you felt that magical evening in May.
当你漫步在舞池时还会对舞伴的
Young, giddy and deeply curious about that hard lump
某个硬梆梆的东西感到意乱情迷的好奇呢
pressed against you during the slow dance.
说到这儿
Speaking of which...
-我们的舞伴来啦 -他们来啦
-our dates have arrived! - Our dates have arrived!
女士们 你们好
Hello, ladies.
皮特 快来
Pete, come on.
我在公社长大 不知道啥叫毕业舞会
Grew up on a commune, I don't know what a prom is.
衣服真不错
Sweet threads.
你们俩就像学校里最酷的两个男孩
You two look like the coolest dudes in school.
我知道因为我快死了所以你才约我出来
Yeah. I know you only asked me out because I'm dying,
不过我不介意
but I'm okay with that.
发生了什么
What's happening?
闭嘴
Stop it.
所以你们俩 带了吗
So, did you guys, like, bring it?
当然带了
We sure did.
这个颜色和我裙子好相衬
It matches my dress.
毕业舞会专售 1/8盎司只需50美元
And Prom Night is only $50 an eighth.
所以你还能用剩下的钱买♥♥点紧急避孕药
So, you'll have money left over to buy that morning-after pill.
我们今晚看来会很有收获
We're definitely getting some tonight.
我们的收获不就在这里 但她们戴着
We have some right here, but they're wearing it
-而且我还是不知道为啥 -皮特
-and I still don't know why. -Pete.
孩子们好
Hi, kids.
你们该不会以为你们能不拍照就走吧
You didn't think you were getting away without pictures, did you?
噢 妈妈
Mom.
你好 露丝另类治疗店的
Hi, Mrs. Whitefeather Feldman
怀特菲泽·费尔德曼太太
from Ruth's Alternative Caring.
你好 卡特
Hi, Mr. Carter.
你们俩
You two...
你们想对我的女儿们打什么主意
what are your intentions regarding my daughters?
先生 我们打算让她们在毕业舞会之夜
Sir... we intend to get them high.
嗨到爆
On Prom Night.
我们双手赞成
We approve!
但是如果你们俩中的任何一个敢对
But if either of you sons of bitches
我的女儿们做什么
lays a finger on my daughters...
我会一枪毙了你
I'll shoot you dead.
我可是非常严肃的
I am so fucking serious right now.
我和你们开玩笑的 尽情蹂躏她们吧
No, I'm messing with you, boys. Screw them senseless!
谢谢你 爸爸
Thanks, Dad.
毕业舞会之夜
Prom Night.
将它分享给你在脸书上视奸了20年的人
Share it with someone you'll stalk on Facebook in 20 years.
生活大♥麻♥烦
第一季第七集
-这是什么东西 -立夫莱
- So, what am I looking at here? - It's Leafly.
一个网站 也是手♥机♥应用
It's a website and an app.
是大♥麻♥界的大众点评
It's Yelp for pot.
顾客可以在上面上传对我们店的评价
It's a place where customers can post reviews on our store.
看这里
Here. Check it out.
露丝另类治疗店
"Ruth's Alternative Caring
是很棒的药房♥ 露丝是最棒的老板
is a great dispensary and Ruth is the best."
网友真的很善良啊
People on the Internet are really nice.
这里还有一条
Here's one.
我是一名高中数学老师
"I'm a high school math teacher
露丝另类治疗店
and Ruth's Alternative Caring
是唯一阻止我自杀的原因
is the only reason I haven't killed myself."
我们这里有很多想离开地球的
We get a lot of public school teachers in here
公立高中老师
who wanna leave the planet.
不过我真的很喜欢这个
I-- I like this, though.
你知道吗 特拉维斯
I mean, you know, Travis,
开♥发♥立夫莱应用是个好主意
getting on Leafly, that was a good idea.
真的吗
Wait, really?
难道不是 跟MBA一起将大♥麻♥销♥售♥一空是个好主意
Not, "It was a good idea for a sellout with an MBA"?
又叫MB混♥蛋♥
Also known as an MBA-hole.
-对吧 -说得好
- Right? - That was good.
MB混♥蛋♥ 为什么拼字游戏没有这个词
Oh, man. MBA-hole. Where was that during the Scrabble game?
不过认真地说 这真的是个好主意
No, no, but seriously, it's a good idea.
坦诚来讲
Well, to be fair,
是奥莉维亚让立夫莱实现了
Olivia's the one who made the Leafly thing happen.
-她才是真正的英雄 -我才不是
- She's the real hero. - Oh, I'm no hero.
我不过是一个完成本职的谦卑的药房♥员工
Just a humble pot-store employee who completed a task.
这么说我还真是个英雄了
I guess I am a hero.
这样很好
This is the good stuff.
我们又一起工作了
All of us working together again.
不要再有那些不必要的内斗了
You know? No more of that needless infighting.
我们现在是同一个阵营的人了
We're all on the same team finally.
那就是我的阵营
Team Me.
不过说真的 我挺希望你们俩搞上
Although, seriously, I still do wish the two of you were fucking.
怎么了
What?
两块木板
Two boards.
干的不错
Impressive.
看起来学生似乎
It seems the student has become...
变得更好了
a better student.
那是因为老师成了一个
Only because the teacher has become the teacher
学了该学的学生的老师
of the student who learned what I learned.
说的很有深度
Wise words.
-你有练习过你的冥想吗 -没有
- Have you been practicing your meditation? - No.
那就好 没有见证人在旁边就别冥想了
Good. You should never do that without a spotter.
好快
Fast.
嗯
Yeah.
我的午餐休息已经结束了 我要回去了
Well, my lunch break's over, I should probably head back.
你有孩子吗 皮特
You got kids, Pete, huh?
你是一个注重家庭的男人吗
You a family man?
-不是 -是啊 我也是
- No. - Yeah, I am, too.
我有三个女儿
Three girls.
我有她们仨的单独监护权
Of whom I have sole custody.
我是说周末的时候
On weekends.
不过我没有儿子 没有继承人
No son, though. No... heir apparent.
等我老了 没人接管这道场
No one to take this studio over when I'm in my Tae Kwon Dotage.
-你的女儿呢 -不行
- What about your girls? - No. No.
她们想成为公主 独角兽和艺术管♥理♥员♥
They wanna be a princess, a unicorn and an arts administrator.
三种不存在的工作
Three imaginary jobs.
而且按照韩国的传统观念
Besides, dojangs are traditionally handed down
道场一般是要传给儿子的
from father to son in the Korean culture.
这是维♥基♥百♥科♥说的
That's according to Wikipedia.
-好吧 我应该 -我一直在寻找
- Well, again, I should-- - You know, I've long sought
一个年轻的门徒来当我的代子 但是
a young protégé to be that surrogate son. But alas...
我的学生中并没有这样
I've found no one among my students with the purity of heart
心灵纯洁又自♥由♥自在的人 来继承高♥强♥度拳击馆
and the ease of self to carry on the Intensity Plus legacy.
我有个主意
I have an idea.
是什么 皮特
Yes, Pete?
也许我能帮你
Maybe I could help you...
发放那堆九折优♥惠♥券
hand out those 10-percent-off coupons.
这就是我能做的
That's what got me in here.
很高兴见到你
Good to see you.
这条评论 你读一下
That review there. Read that.
露丝店里的每个人都很赞
"Everyone at Ruth's is great,
但我唯独喜欢珍妮
but I particularly love Jenny.
她不仅用冷冻大♥麻♥麦片
Not only did she set me up
让我振作了起来
with some kick-ass Frosted Mini Weed cereal...
而且她还又酷又有趣 传播甜美的悲伤
she's chill, funny and radiates a beautiful sadness."
甜美的悲伤长啥样
Beautiful sadness? What does that look like?
-演的太到位了 -简直绝了
-That is spot-on. Yeah. - Wow, just devastating.
你一定得找出这个叫"裸闪鸡男孩"的人
生活大麻烦（2017）
Disjointed
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