生活大麻烦（2017）

Disjointed S01E05

Part 1 July 23, 2020, 3:22 p.m.

中国城
虎年
我告诉你罗斯和瑞秋最后还是会在一起的
Mark my words: Ross and Rachel will get together.
罗斯瑞秋和乔伊均为美剧《老友记》中角色
我最喜欢乔伊他让我很开心
My favorite is Joey. He makes me laugh!
你好吗[剧中乔伊的口头禅]
"How you doing?"
珍妮给你
Jenny, come here.
益母草帮你集中精神
Motherwort for your focus,
爬行莲增强血液循环
creeping lobelia for your vitality,
和枸杞子甜味
and wolfberry for that sweet wolfberry taste!!!
妈妈那个看起来像
Mommy, that one looks like
警♥察♥叔叔在课上给我们看的坏东西
the bad stuff the policeman showed us in class:
大♥麻♥
marijuana.
梅梅
Mei Mei!
大♥麻♥你绝对不能碰
Flee from marijuana.
它会把你的脑子抽空
It saps your vigor
把你变成一个滑板要饭的
and transforms you into a skateboard vagrant!
所以将来你绝对不能吸毒
Grow up drug-free and proud
要成为一个有名的华裔女性
like such female Chinese-American role models
就像滑冰选手关颖珊
as figure-skating star Michelle Kwan,
越战纪念碑设计师林璎
Vietnam Memorial architect Maya Lin,
还有《单身汉》电视剧的大明星
and The Single Guy co-star
温明娜
Ming-Na Wen!
珍妮
Jenny.
你母亲说得对
Your mother is right.
大♥麻♥没有一点好处
Marijuana has no benefits,
不像这些好药材
unlike this meticulously curated selection of plants, brambles, and forest litter.
珍妮我答应你
Jenny, I make you this vow:
只要我活着你绝不缺这茶
as long as I am alive, you will never go lacking for this tea.
和滋养它的过滤水
Or the filtered water required to bring it to life.
她到现在每周还会给你寄这种茶
And she still sends you this tea every week?
是啊还附带毒鸡汤纸条
Yeah. Along with reassuring notes.
如果你停止喝这种茶
"If you stop drinking this,
你会变成一个失败的人
you will be a failure
还会像白人女性一样变老
and age like a white woman."
要不要尝一口里面有新鲜的枸杞
You wanna try some? It's got fresh wolfberry.
我喝一口试试
I'll take a shot.
尝起来像猪的睾丸
Tastes like... pigs' nuts.
这个里面也有
Yeah, that's in there, too.
生活大♥麻♥烦
第一季第五集
露丝你做了好事
Ruth, you done good.
店里生意兴隆你步履轻盈
The store is hopping, you got a spring in your step,
你的冰箱里有凯撒色拉
you got a Caesar salad in the fridge.
是时候传播我带来的欢乐了
Time to spread the joy that is me.
卡特你在做什么
Hey, Carter. What you doing?
不好意思我在脑子里想的还不够响
Oh, sorry, I didn't think that loud enough.
你在做什么
What you doing?
-找单词 -挺好的
- Uh, word find. - Cool.
"芬兰" 这里斜向后的对角线
"Finland." Right there, backward diagonal.
怎么了
What?
恕我直言女士
All due respect, ma'am,
如果一个男人不能自己找词
if a man can't find his own words,
他就会迷失自己
he can't find himself.
"自己" 这里
"Himself," Right there!
你在抽什么
What you smoking?
天行者大♥麻♥
Skywalker OG.
他在过去的一周内试过很多不同和不同剂量的
He's tried a bunch of different indica-dominant hybrids
-印度杂交大♥麻♥ -珍妮
- and dosages over the last week or so-- - Jenny.
我知道我不是医生
I know, I'm not a doctor,
我是个轻言放弃的骗子
I'm a quitter and a liar.
既然你喜欢玩找单词你试过拼字游戏吗
Seeing as how you're a word guy, you ever dabble with Scrabble?
玩过怎么了露丝我是玩过不少
Oh! Why, yes, Ruth, I've played a few miles of tiles.
那么我猜你知道所有两个字母的可接受词汇
So, I assume you know all the allowable two-letter words.
-是的 -就连新加的四个也知道
- I do. - Even the four new ones?
-是美国兵 -是美国兵
- Da, gi, - Da, gi,
-夜壶第七音 -夜壶第七音
- po, te. - po, te.
比赛开始
Oh, it is on.
开战王八蛋
Let's dance, motherfucker.
天
Jesus.
它是不是死了
Is it dead?
恐怕是的
I'm afraid so.
我的天
Ugh-- Oh, God.
-天 -不不没事的
- Oh, God. - No. No, it's okay.
-不 -别伤心
- No. - Don't be sad.
她老了是时候了
She was old, it was her time.
没事的
It's okay.
再说了从她的乳♥头♥可以看出她有很多孩子
Plus, you can tell from her teats, she had a lot of pups.
抱歉退后一点
Uh-huh. Excuse me. Just back up.
你觉得它是怎么进去的
How do you think it got in the tank?
肯定是挤进了这个小洞
It must've squeezed in this tiny hole.
有趣的老鼠知识第二十六条
Rat fun-fact number 26:
一只成年老鼠可以挤进尼日利亚便士上的洞
A full-grown adult can squeeze through the hole in a Nigerian penny.
尼日利亚便士上有洞吗
There's a hole in a Nigerian penny?
你不知道什么
You don't know that? What--?
你上的是什么在家教育
What kind of homeschool did you go to?
我上的是公立学校
I went to a public school.
我听说过像你这样的孩子
I've heard about kids like you.
真让我痛心但你没有长歪
Breaks my heart. But you came out good, though.
我该洗洗它了这是浇灌植物的水
Well, I should clean this. This is the water the plants drink.
我来
I'll do it.
-你确定 -是我喜欢打扫
- You sure? - Yeah, I actually like cleaning.
有趣的奥莉维亚知识第三十二条
Olivia fun fact number 32:
我以前每晚都要用吸尘器的声音来掩盖
I used to vacuum every night to drown out the sound
我母亲和继父争吵的声音
of my mom and my step-dad fighting.
我后来发现他们吵架是为了让我打扫
I found out later they fought just so I'd clean.
那两个被冰♥毒♥腐蚀头脑的混♥蛋♥
Oh, those meth-addled bastards.
我去埋葬死老鼠
Okay, I'll just go bury the dead rat.
皮特那是死老鼠你该把它扔进垃圾桶
Pete, it's a dead rat. You're gonna put it in the dumpster.
有道理密封棺木更加尊重
Good idea. Closed casket. Much more respectful.
瞧瞧玛丽亚
Check her out, Maria.
这可是拼字游戏发明者
A Deluxe Edition signed by none
阿尔弗雷德·巴茨签名的精♥装♥版
other than Scrabble inventor Alfred Butts himself.
她美不美
Ain't she a beaut?
我不知道拼字游戏板要称"她"
I didn't know Scrabble boards were "Shes."
没错就像船暴风和上帝
Oh, yeah, like ships, hurricanes, and God.
我警告你
I'm warning you...
事态会变得很激烈
this will get intense.
鉴于我们背景不同
Given our backgrounds,
我觉得我们对"激烈"的定义也不同
I feel like you and I have different definitions of "Intense."
我是说她真的很凶残
I'm just saying, she's really vicious.
我从没击败过她要知道我挺厉害的
I mean, I've never beaten her, and I'm pretty good.
你是什么风格你玩宾果还是三倍
What's your style? You play for bingos or triple words?
都不是我玩是图开心
No. I play for fun.
那挺厉害就是你水平的终点了
Well, then, pretty good is all you'll ever be.
都好了特拉维斯拉把椅子你也来
Okay, we're all set up. Travis, pull up a chair, you're in, too.
不我不玩
Ha. No, I'm not.
我要花时间经营我们的事业
I'm gonna spend my time running our business.
你没法像以前一样煽动我玩
You're not gonna goad me into playing like you usually do.
我明白了
I see.
一个简单的问题
Uh, one quick question:
学鸡叫妈妈你是大人了
The chicken thing? Mom, you're a grownup.
你是一个受人尊敬的政♥治♥活跃分子
You're a revered political activist.
你怎么回事
What is wrong with you?
你可是加州律师协会的
You know, you're the President Emeritus
名誉退休主席
of the California Bar Association?
你是指加州鸡师协会
Ah. You mean the California Bawk Association?
你可是我的妈妈
And you're my mother.
一点不错
That's very true.
而你是我的女儿
And you're my daughter.
好吧系上我的运动内衣我加入
Yeah, okay. Strap on my sports bra. I'm in.
每日一药
你好欢迎收看"每日一药"
Hi, welcome to Strain o' the Day.