生活大麻烦（2017）

Disjointed S01E04

Part 3 July 23, 2020, 3:22 p.m.

如果你想与毒品绝缘
because if you wanna stay drugless...
来找跆拳道格拉斯
come see Tae Kwon Douglas.
这家伙得找个妞儿发泄发泄
Man, that dude needs to get laid.
给大♥麻♥拍照真是我梦想的工作
Man, photographing marijuana seems like a dream job.
你真容易满足
Then you dream small.
我做这份工作只是为了赚钱去完成我的梦想
I just do this to support my true calling,
帆伞运动
parasailing.
我见过特别酷
Oh, yeah. I've seen that. That looks so cool.
那些人背上背着风筝从悬崖上跳下来
Those guys, like, jumping off cliffs with kites on their backs.
-那真是 -那是高崖跳伞
- I mean, that's-- - That's paragliding.
有什么区别
What's the difference?
帆伞运动是你大海一条船
Parasailing is you and the ocean, and a boat,
安全带帆布篷
and a harness, and a canopy wing,
凯尔开着船
and Kyle the guy driving the boat,
海岸上的人看着你
and the people who on the shore are watching you,
知道随时
and the knowledge that at any moment,
你都可能垂直下坠三四十英尺
you could plummet 30, 40 feet
落到水里会很疼
into the water and it would hurt.
高崖跳伞是胆小鬼和四肢瘫痪的人玩的
Paragliding is for pussies and quadriplegics.
你你叫什么来着保罗吗
You. What's your name again? Paul?
是皮特但我可以改名
It was Pete, but I can change it.
我拍完你的大♥麻♥了
I'm done with your nugs.
-我准备好拍植株了 -真棒
- I'm ready to shoot your plants. - All right, great.
准备好姑娘们你们的特写来了
Get ready, girls. This is your close-up.
你是那种跟植物说话的嬉皮士怪胎啊
Oh, you're one of those hippie freaks that talks to the plants.
帅啊
Groovy.
它们会回话吗
They ever talk back?
不会但我愿意认为它们能听见
No, but I like to think they can hear me.
你从哪个公社把他找来的
What commune did you dig him out of?
洪堡县
The Humboldt County
新世纪集体农庄和世界末日预备站
New Century Kibbutz and Doomsday Prep Station.
加油粪金龟
Go, Dung Beetles.
这里怎么样了
How's it going in here?
有个问题
One question.
今晚你过来时我要浪费一个小时
Tonight, when you come over, am I gonna have to waste an hour
假装关心你的希望和梦想
pretending to care about your hopes and dreams,
还是直接开干
or are we just gonna get right to Jake Boning?
停下
Stop!
停下取消幻想
Stop! Cancel the fantasy.
你开始说话了让床停下
You started talking. Stop the bed.
等等
Wait.
让床停下
Stop the bed.
停下
Stop--
我为什么做了80年代的幻想
Why am I having an '80s fantasy anyway?
我那时候还没出生了
I wasn't even born yet.
应该像布兰妮那样
It should be like a Britney thing.
该死
Aw... Damn it.
每日一药
-大家好我是露丝 -绝对是
- Hi, I'm Ruth. - You sure are.
我是皮特
And I'm Pete.
欢迎收看《每日一药》
Welcome to Strain O' the Day.
今天的大♥麻♥是室内种植的品种
Today's strain is an in-house grow
源于德国的黑森林
originating in the Black Forest from Germany.
名字是这个
And it's called that.
屏幕上呢
There.
出于对我舌头
And out of respect for my tongue
以及默克尔总理的尊重我是不会念的
and Angela Merkel, I'm not saying it.
我来
I will.
Erschreckendgluckseligkeit大♥麻♥是一个德语词汇
Erschreckendgluckseligkeit OG is a German word
意思是"可怕赐福大♥麻♥"
that means "Frightening bliss OG."
虽然在英语中没有同意义的概念或者大♥麻♥
And while there's no equivalent concept or cannabis in English,
一旦你抽了"可怕赐福大♥麻♥"
once you smoke Erschreckendgluckseligkeit OG,
你就会明白的
you'll understand.
德国人啊什么样的大♥麻♥都有
Those Germans, huh? They got a weed for everything.
一般情况下现在我们要向大家展示大♥麻♥的特写
Now, usually this is when we'd show you a close-up of our bud,
但既然我们可以用大♥麻♥摄影师之王杰克·勃恩
but why do that when we can wow you with a beautiful image
拍摄的美丽照片惊艳你为什么还要那样做呢
taken by the king of pot-ography, Jake Bone?
这张怎么样
How about this?
挂在欧柏林学院的宿舍里挺帅的是吧
That'd look swell in your Oberlin dorm room, right?
等等
Wait. Hold on.
这可不是我的"可怕赐福大♥麻♥"
That's not my Erschreckendgluckseligkeit OG.
不是吗
It's not?
这是但是
Well, it is, but...
这被P过了
it's been Photoshopped.
你怎么能看出来
How can you tell?
你看太完美了
Look at it. It's too... perfect.
这比例从植物学角度上来说是不可能的
These proportions are botanically impossible.
真实的植物不长这样
Real plants don't look like this.
瞧瞧这些伪造的粗大尖端
I mean, look at those big fake tips.
你在逗我呢是吧
You're fucking with me, right?
杰克·勃恩如果你在看这段视频
Jake Bone, if you're watching this,
你要知道我很生气
you need to know I am very upset.
你伤害了我的感情
So, consider yourself alerted to my feelings.
多谢观看《每日一药》
Uh, thanks for watching Strain O' the Day.
如果你听到了背后的脚步声
If you hear footsteps coming up behind you
听起来像是十号♥的勃肯凉鞋
and they sound like size ten Birkenstocks,
那可能是我的
they could be mine.
我会偷偷摸摸接近别人
I walk very close to people.
-下次见我是露丝 -我伤心欲绝
- Until next time. I'm Ruth. - And I'm devastated.
苏菲我是玛丽亚听着
Sophie. Maria, listen.
我是三年级才艺表演的评委
I'm the room mom for the third-grade talent show,
我知道你想让你的双胞胎来表演
and I know you wanted both of your twins to perform,
但是天啊我们只剩一个位置了
but, gosh, we only have one slot left.
很抱歉
I'm sorry.
你得做出选择苏菲
You're gonna have to make a choice, Sophie,
因为火车离开车站了
'cause the train is leaving the station.
瞧瞧
Check it out.
我为你写了一本日记
I started a journal for you.
这是你今天抽的大♥麻♥
Here's what you smoked today.
你只用填上多少频率
You just need to fill in how much, how often,
以及你认为
and the name of the family member
对你最失望的家庭成员的名字
you think is most disappointed in you.
我弄不明白了你这样做是为了我还是你自己
I'm confused. Are you doing this for me or for you?
你什么意思
What do you mean?
我是说你总是在扮医生
I mean... you're always around here playing doctor.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
你懂的珍妮怎么了
Yes, you do. Jenny... what's going on?
去他的
Screw it.
各位请大家听我说
Everybody, can I have your attention?
你们肯定都在想珍妮怎么了
I'm sure you've all been wondering, "What's up with Jenny?"
-是因为那顶帽子吗 -肯定是
- Is it about that hat? - Gotta be.
没什么大不了的只是
It's not a big deal. It's just...
我本该念完医学院最后一学期
I'm supposed to be finishing my last semester of medical school,
但我退学了
but I dropped out.
而我在这里工作
And instead I'm working here
一直抽大♥麻♥ 我父母对此一无所知
and getting high all the time, which my parents don't know about.
等他们发现他们会杀了我
And when they find out, they're gonna kill me,
然后自杀
and then kill themselves.
那么
So...
那俳句的确是你写的我就知道我不是种族歧视
you did write that haiku. I knew I wasn't racist!
姑娘们看这个谎言
Sheilas, behold a lie.
一张拥有不切实际的审美标准的虚假图像
A false image perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards.
你们该知道内在才最重要
You should know it's what's inside that matters.
四氢大♥麻♥酚大♥麻♥二酚萜烯
THC, CBD, terpenes.
真正的植株都有血统
Real buds have stems.
好啊伙计
Good day, mate.
真的吗有什么好的
Really? What's so good about it?
记得我跟你说跟男神见面的事吗
Remember what I told you about meeting your heroes?
记得
Yeah.
所以人们第一次见我时我都小心翼翼
That's why I'm so careful when people meet me for the first time.
我知道我是凡人但他们不知道