呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E13

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 8:35 p.m.

This isn't my bed, is it?
这不是我的床是吗?
What the f... oh, fuck.
卧♥槽♥... 我♥操♥
Ah, shit.
靠
What the fuck?!
卧♥槽♥?!
What the fuck?
卧♥槽♥?
Oh, shit.
我靠
Oh, shit.
我靠
Help! Hey!
救命啊! 嘿!
Ah!
啊!
Oh, come on, baby.
噢快点我的天
Come on, Clyde, pick up.
快点克莱德接电♥话♥
Come on, come on, pick up, pick up, come on, pick up.
快点快点快接电♥话♥ 接电♥话♥ 快点快接电♥话♥
Fuck.
操
Ah, fuck you, you one-bar cocktease!
卧♥槽♥ 你这个小婊砸!
Oh, shit.
卧♥槽♥
Oh, what's that? What is this?
喔这是什么? 这是什么?
Oh, thank God.
喔谢天谢地
Oh, this will tide me over until...
喔这东西可以帮我度过...
Oatmeal raisin. Oh.
燕麦葡萄干
Fuck that. What else do I got in here?
去你的这儿还有其他东西吗?
What is this?
这是啥?
Macadamia?
来点澳大利亚坚果?
Yeah, yeah, don't mind if I do.
行啊如果你不介意的话
You know, the macadamia...
你知道澳大利亚坚果...
doesn't just spread its legs for anyone.
从不轻易地为任何人打开
It makes you work for it.
为此你可要下点功夫
I respect that. Don't you?
很令人尊敬你们不觉得吗?
Let's get down to dick, shall we?
我们还是谈谈老二的事吧成吗?
Yeah. Fresh off
没错今天早上
the assembly line this morning.
刚从生产线上下来的新鲜货
Our first dozen dildos.
我们的第一批十二个老二
There's 13 in there.
这儿有十三个
You can't have a baker's dozen of dildos?
你难道就不能把它当成是面包师的一沓老二吗?
You guys bake those?
你们烤这个?
Who the fuck is this guy and why the fuck does he smell like Thin Mints?
这家伙到底他妈的是谁为什么他妈的闻起来跟巧克力蛋糕似的?
It's a strand of weed my ex-roommate got in bulk, okay?
这是我前室友抽得大♥麻♥的味道成吗?
I don't wanna talk about it. He's harmless.
我都不想提他没有恶意
This fucker's a Goliath, huh?
这简直是阳♥具♥界中的哥利亚啊不是吗?
Goliath is the big one, right?
哥利亚是个大家伙是吗?
What, did you mold this after a horse's cock, Adam?
这些都是以马的小♥弟♥弟♥为原型制♥作♥的吧亚当?
Maybe one of those tiny, creepy miniature horses.
也许只是蹒跚学步的小马中的一只
I don't think anybody
我觉得没有人
could imagine a bigger dick.
见过比这更大的弟弟了
If we all put our heads together and thought,
如果我们认真想想
"What's the biggest dick we've ever seen?"
"我见过最大的弟弟是什么样的?"
and then you saw this, you'd be like,
当你看到这个你就会觉得
"Oh, this is bigger."
"喔这个更大"
And here's a prototype of the box.
这个是盒子的样品
"Danny Poker's Poker."
"扑克王♥丹♥尼的骄傲"
Oh, hey... oh, it's, uh...
噢嘿... 这个呃...
Got it, yeah.
懂了耶
Can't believe it.
我简直不敢相信
I'm finally in the giant vibrating dildo business.
我终于开始了我的震动情趣玩具事业
It's American Dream time, guys.
这简直就是美国梦啊伙计们
Ah, there's actually a pretty high-class glory hole around the corner
事实上转角处有一个很高级的镜像性♥爱♥店
if you wanna blow off some steam
如果你想撸
out your dick... Nope, not right now.
一发的话... 不现在可不是时候
I gotta get back out there in the field.
我可要回去抓紧入行
Love that work ethic, bro.
我欣赏你的职业精神兄弟
It's a new business, a new beginning, a new Pac.
这可是一桩新经济一个新的开始一个崭新的我
Fuck.
靠
Oh, fuck!
喔操!
Oh, thank God.
喔谢天谢地
Okay. No harm, no... fuck!
太好了没事儿不... 操!
Wait, what are you doing? Whoa!
等等你在干啥? 哇啊哦!
Aren't you supposed to be in your light?
你不是应该待在你的光束里吗?
Okay, well, I guess that was nothing.
好吧我想没什么事
You! Please listen!
你! 听好了!
It's... ah...!
这是... 啊...!
Wait, wait, what was that, awesome?
等等等等你说啥可怕?
Awful? Or is that just like a long, Jewishy moan?
糟糕? 还是只是声犹太式嚎叫?
Listen, Clyde, uh, something isn't right.
听着克莱德呃有些事情不太对劲
I haven't eaten, slept, or jerked off either.
我没吃没喝也没撸
Come on in. What?
进来吧啥?
Look, we both said things that we regret, you know?
听着我们都说过我们后悔的事情你知道吗?
I mean, we were fighting...
我是说我们曾打过架...
Oh, no, no, no, no, sorry.
不不不不不不不好意思
Uh, that's not what I meant.
呃我并不是这个意思
I meant something's not right with this.
我是说这个有点不对劲
Oh, wh-what is this?
噢这这是啥?
It's new... it's new tech. New technology.
这是一种新... 新技术
New tech... new technology for what?
做什么的新技术?
For the, uh... the ghost business that I went into with Danny.
做呃... 我和丹尼经营的鬼魂生意
You started a fucking ghost business with Danny Poker?!
你♥他♥妈♥和扑克王♥丹♥尼一起做鬼魂生意?!
I didn't mean to. It just happened.
我不是故意的只是碰巧
We started a website together, asshole!
我们一起建了网站混♥蛋♥!
I know, Clyde! We have a ton of best friend and
我知道克莱德! 可我们有很多好朋友
business issues to work through, okay?
还有一堆要忙的事儿不是吗?
That's a given.
这是我们都知道的
But right now, I need those to take a back seat, okay?
但是现在我想把这些都暂时放在一边成吗?
Danny invented this device
丹尼发明了这个装置
that, like, sends ghosts directly into their light,
用来比如把鬼魂送进他们的光束里
but I have a bad feeling about it.
但是我有种不好的预感
I want you to take a look at it.
我想让你看看
For an old friend.
就当帮帮老朋友
I can be an adult about this for sure, you know?
对这个我可在行了你知道吗?
What the fuck? Clyde!
什么鬼? 克莱德!
Come on, man! Aw!
得了吧兄弟! 喔!
Ah, fuck! Oh, yeah!
喔卧♥槽♥! 喔就是这样!
Oh, shit!
操!
Whoa, whoa!
哇啊哦哇啊哦!
What is that? That was ghosts.
那是什么? 那是鬼魂
Oh, my God.
我的天
They weren't going into their light.
他们没有变成光束
They were trapped like...
他们被困住了就像...
Lightning in a bottle.
瓶子里的光束
Ben fucking Franklin.
他妈的本·法兰克林
Yeah, that's Ben fucking Franklin.
是的是他妈的本·法兰克林
Listen, we don't have time to keep doing this...
听着我们没有时间继续这么做了...
We have all the time in the goddamn world
在这见鬼的世界上我们有的是时间
because I'm not fucking talking to you.
因为我他妈的没有和你说话
I'm talking to Ben fucking Franklin.
我是在和本法兰克林说话
Okay, Jesus Christ, Clyde, how many times can one man apologize?
好吧我的天克莱德一个人到底要道多少次歉?
Gee, I don't know. What about once?
天呐我不知道一次怎么样?
Did I not say I was sorry? I don't know.
我没说过对不起吗? 我不知道
Did you?
你说过吗?
Seriously, though, I'm not sure if you did.
说真的我不确定你是不是真的说过
I was so taken aback by jealousy...
我被嫉妒冲昏了头脑...
I feel like at the door I said I was...
我记得在门那儿我好像说过...
It was like an elevator ride.
这跟坐电梯似的
Oh, yeah. Just a few of us at first,
噢耶一开始只有我们几个人
riding together on our way up to the afterlife.
一起乘坐电梯去到来生
Suddenly, there was a flash of light
突然一道光出现了
and an extra passenger appeared.
然后其他的乘客出现了
It was torture.
这简直就是煎熬
Balls on faces on balls on faces.
蛋蛋挤着脸脸挤着蛋蛋
What's he saying? The man who birthed that device
他在说啥? 发明这个装置的人
is pure evil.
太坏了
He's saying Danny Poker is a dick.
他说扑克王♥丹♥尼是个混♥蛋♥
I hear that, Ben Franklin.
我听到了本·法兰克林