呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E12

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 8:34 p.m.

10 more minutes.
再睡10分钟
What the... what the fuck?!
干啥... 你干啥呢?!
Where's my money?
我的钱呢?
What fucking money? For services rendered?
啥几把钱呐? 服务费啊?
Last night? Your friend Danny Poker owes me two grand.
昨晚上? 你朋友扑克王♥丹♥尼欠我两千大洋
What fucking sex act on God's green earth
啥几把的爱爱活动
could possibly cost $2,000?
能值两千?
He diarrhea'd on my chest. Oh, yeah.
他在我宝贝咪♥咪♥上窜稀了这样啊
That adds up.
那必须值两千
It doesn't fucking matter. I don't even know
这也没啥用啊我也不知道为啥
why I'm asking you
我还要问你
cause money doesn't really mean anything to you anymore, lady.
不过钱对你来说根本没屁用小姐
I hate to break it to you. You're kind of...
我不想打击你不过你似乎...
you're fully dead.
死翘翘了
What? You're fucking dead.
说什么呢? 你嗝屁了
And it looks like you took a pretty bad tumble, too.
而且你看起来应该还摔得挺惨
Your noodle's kind of hanging out of your dome piece.
脑浆子都摔出来了
What the fuck?
什么鬼?
That motherfucker killed me?
那操蛋玩意竟然杀了我?
Yeah. Oh, my God.
应该是的我的天啊
It must've been when he tried to throw me in the pool
一定是他像打保龄球那样插着我蜜♥穴♥和菊花
by the pussy and the asshole like a goddamn bowling ball.
想把我扔进池子的时候
I'll kill that motherfucker.
我一定要杀了那混♥蛋♥
That thindicked... Hold on!
那个小屌♥... 淡定!
Brainless, crouton motherfucker bitch!
傻♥逼♥ 唇膏男混♥蛋♥婊♥子♥!
Let's just calm down here, okay? Let... let...
咱先冷静点行不行? 咱...
Oh, my God.
哇哦天啊
It's beautiful.
太美了
Damn.
卧♥槽♥
Poor baby doesn't exist anymore.
傻孩子彻底没了
What is that?
那是啥?
So remember on our way here, I told our pilot
还记得咱们过来的路上我告诉机长
to ignore our "flight path"
不用管 "航线"
and just cut across America so we'd get there in time
直接从美国抄个近道为了赶上
for that sweet Cirque show "Vagine"?
甜甜的表演 "阴♥道♥"?
Yeah, the shortcut.
记得走捷径了
Yeah, well, it's kind of like that, but for ghosts.
没错就像那样只不过这是给鬼魂的而已
When I saw that Amish ghost
当我看见那个阿米什人的鬼魂
go to his light at my orgy,
在我趴体上找到他的光时
I was like, "Holy shit.
我就像 "卧了个大槽
Now that's crazy."
这可真够劲"
So I hired a bunch of nerds to make the tech, and boom!
所以我就雇了几个呆子把这个做出来了
Shortcut to the light, my friend.
得到光的捷径我的朋友
That's amazing. Yeah, no shit, all right
简直不可思议行了别废话
So keep it to yourself. Yeah.
别把这说出去知道吧当然
Now, are you gonna stay in bed all day, lazybones,
现在你是准备在床上躺一天大懒蛋
or are you gonna help me bury this body?
还是帮我把这尸体埋起来?
Sure.
必须埋
But can we hit up that b-fast bouffant first, though?
但咱能不能先吃一下传说中的早餐?
I'm fucking starving.
我他妈要饿死了
Don't be gauche, Pac.
别傻了派克
You bury before brunch,
先埋然后才能吃你的早午餐
not brunch before bury. Brunch before bury.
不是先吃饭再埋尸体先吃饭再埋尸体
I know, I'm sorry. Remember what I told you?
我知道了我错了还记得我和你说过啥?
Yeah, bury before brunch... Bury before brunch,
必须的先埋再吃... 先埋再吃
that's a good hunch.
不会出错
Brunch before bury, now, that's not a very...
吃完再埋那就不是...
good idea. Good thing to do.
好主意好做法
I'm coming in for a landing.
我要进来登陆啦
Pac, where have you been?
派克你去哪了?
Who, me? Oh, uh, nowhere.
谁啊我吗? 也没去哪
I just went for a weekend to Vegas with Danny Pokertini.
就是和扑克王♥丹♥尼去了趟维加斯而已
Dude, you could've at least called, man.
你至少给我打个电♥话♥说一声啊兄弟
I was really worried...
我还担心你来着...
God!
天啊!
Man, I'm so sorry.
兄弟太对不住了
God, I've been holding that in all morning.
天呐我憋了一早上了
Still in that stage with each other where I kind of wanna keep
和丹尼还处于互相之间想留点
a bit of the mystery with Danny, you know?
神秘感的阶段你懂吗?
Like, maybe at this point he doesn't think
就好像某种程度上他还不知道
I have a butthole. And I'm cool with that, right?
我有屁♥眼♥ 我也觉得挺好行么?
He's so awesome. Jesus, what is that?
他简直超级棒神啊这什么味啊?
Yeah, that stinks.
那个啊确实挺臭
That's, that's whaledolphin.
那是那是海豚鲸的味儿
It's where they stuff a dolphin inside of a whale.
就是把海豚塞进鲸鱼里
It's kind of like turducken except for
有点像火鸭鸡 (美国食物把塞入鸡的鸭塞入火鸡中烹饪)
really, really rich people.
只不过这是给特别无敌有钱人吃的
Look, I'm glad that you're enjoying
听着我挺高兴你和丹尼的
the high life with Danny,
高端生活过的挺好
but you've missed about a week of work here.
可是你已经耽误一周的工作了
Do you have any idea how awkward it's been for me?
你知道这让我有多尴尬吗?
I promise he'll be here any minute.
我保证他马上就来了
Sorry.
抱歉
Come on, man! It's like you don't even care
认真点行么兄弟! 好像你根本不在乎
about the business anymore. I'm sorry.
生意了一样等一下
Did you just say it's like I don't care about the business?
你刚才是说好像我不在乎生意了是吗?
Yeah. Clyde, I am
对啊克莱德我
the fucking business!
他妈就是生意啊!
I bet I could solve, like,
我打赌我一个人一天就能
20 ghost cases in one day by myself.
解决20件鬼魂的案子
Really? Yeah, really.
确定吗? 当然了
Why don't you just stick to solving one?
你为啥不把这一个解决了?
One? Just one.
一个? 就一个
Piece of cake. What do you got? Here.
小意思你有啥? 给你
Haunted kite kiosk at the corner of East 10th and Avenue B.
B大街东10号♥角落那个闹鬼的风筝亭
Ye olde haunted kite kiosk
闹鬼的老风筝亭是吧
No problem. And how about while I'm at it,
没问题既然我开始工作了
I solve 19 more?
我顺手再解决19件怎么样?
You really think you can do that?
你真觉得你做得到?
I really motherfucking do.
我真♥他♥妈♥的觉得
That's how cocky I am.
哥就是这么自信
Danny really rubbed off on you
丹尼确实影响你挺多啊(也有摩擦摩擦的意思)
That was by mistake. It was dark.
只是个意外当时太黑了
What? Nothing.
啥? 没啥
Now, if you'll excuse me,
现在如果可以的话
I have 20 ghost cases to solve by myself.
我还有20件鬼魂案子要办呢单枪匹马
And then you'll probably apologize for doubting me,
到时候你应该会因为怀疑我而道歉了
we will make up,
我们会和好
and maybe you'll have made something delicious for dinner.
也许你也做了什么好吃的晚餐
Danny?
丹尼?
Dan boy?
丹宝宝?
It's Pac! Man.
我是派克! 兄弟
Listen, I was wondering if, maybe...
听我说我就是想也许...
maybe I could borrow that little shortcut device thingy?
我能不能借一下那个捷径的装备东东?
You know, the one you showed me?
还记得吗你给我看的那个?
Danny?
丹尼?
Sounds like you're moving up there or something.
听起来你好像挪什么东西呢?
You need a hand or anything?
用不用搭把手?
I got two capable ones right here.
我这俩手都能给你用
Okay. Scratch that.
好嘞应该不用了
Sounds like you got some help already.
听着你应该是有帮手了
Think it's, like, super-duper cool
不过真是超级无敌酷啊
that you hired a female mover, by the way.
你竟然雇了个姑娘帮你搬
You know, you're so progressive like that.
你知道吗你还挺开明的
It's like of course females can lift heavy shit
姑娘们当然可以搬重物
just as well as men, right? Like, duh!
就像男人们一样对吧? 这么明显!
Shit.
卧♥槽♥
I think I found it. It's right here!
我好像找到了就在这呢!
Danny, I got it. You think it's cool if I borrow it for a couple hours?
丹尼我找着了你觉得我就借走几个小时行不行?
Okay, how about this?
对了要不这样吧?