呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E06

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 8:32 p.m.

Dude, are you sure this is gonna work?
伙计你觉得这行得通吗?
Dude, you have his ID. Of course it's gonna work.
兄弟你有他身份证肯定没问题的
Also, he's gonna love you. Are you kidding me?
还有他会爱上你你在开玩笑吗?
Honestly, we're not going home tonight.
老实说咱们今晚不用回家了
Yeah, yeah, you know what? You're right.
是啊是啊你说的太对了
He is gonna like us. You know he is.
他会爱上我们的肯定会的
Yeah, 'cause we found
因为我找到了他的
his driver's license. You know we did!
他的驾照我们找到了他的驾照!
What can you do without a driver's license?
如果你没了驾照会怎么样?
You can't do shit. You can't drive.
什么都干不了不能开车了
You can't vote. Can't open a Blockbuster card.
你不能去投票也不能申请百事达电影卡了
We're goddamn heroes, Clyde.
我们是英雄克莱德
What do you mean I can't get a thousand Cialises
为什么我明天不能要一千个
in a football helmet by tomorrow?
藏在足球头盔里的希爱力?
I don't care if your mother is having foot surgery.
我管你妈要不要足部手术
You're a drug dealer
你是个毒贩子
and I got my annual fuck-a-thon party tomorrow.
明天我要去马拉松式肛♥交♥趴
A hundred? Oh, is that a fucking joke?!
一百? 你♥他♥妈♥在逗我?!
The fuck do you guys want?
你们这些人到底要搞毛?
You looking for this?
你在找这个?
We found it at the club, sir.
我们在一个夜店看到的这个先生
What?
什么?
You gotta get me my boner pills
把朕的伟哥拿来
or I'm gonna slap my flaccid penis
不然我就要用我大屌♥
across your forehead.
甩你一脸
I had a bad feeling that would happen.
我有种不祥的预感
Okay, so that was sufficiently embarrassing.
好吧这尼玛就很尴尬了
Um, you don't think he saw the sleeping bags, do you?
呃你觉得他没看到睡袋吧?
'Cause I don't think we could bounce back
因为我不觉得经历了这样的事情
from something like that. Damn it.
我们还能有转机我♥操♥
How in the fuck am I ever gonna meet Danny now?
我现在要他妈的怎么去见丹尼?
Wait, hold on a second.
等下! 等等
I've been going over our client email list
我查看我们的客户邮件
for weeks now, right? Yeah.
已经几个星期了吧是的
One of the clients is a pharmacist.
有一个客户是个药剂师
Interesting. Yes.
有意思是很有意思
Go on.
然后呢
You don't know where I'm going with this?
你还不明白我要干嘛?
Not sure yet, but go.
还不知道快说
Okay, if you help him with his ghost problem,
如果你帮他解决鬼魂问题
we can just ask him
我们就可以要求他
for a thousand Cialises as payment!
给我们一千个希爱力作为回报!
That is fucking genius.
你真♥他♥妈♥是个天才!
Right?
是吧?
But, Pac, do you really think it's a good idea
但是派克你觉得这样合适吗?
to ask the pharmacist for pills instead of money?
找药剂师拿药当回报?
I think it might be illegal. What are you talking about?
可能不合法你说什么呢?
That was your whole idea!
这就是你想出来的主意啊!
Oh, yeah!
正是!
Yeah. All right, no, don't worry about it.
没事别担心
We're not going to jail or anything.
我们不会进局子的
Okay.
好吧
Can I help you guys? Yes.
有什么可以效劳的吗你好
We are the ghost guys.
我们是驱魔人
My name is Clyde and this is my partner Pac.
我是克莱德这是我的同伴派克
You must be the pharmacist.
你一定就是那个药剂师
What gave me away?
你们怎么知道?
Oh, well, you're wearing the white coat
这个嘛你不是穿着白大褂吗
and you're working at a pharmacy,
又在药房♥工作
so I put two and two together.
所以我把两个事实结合了一下
Right.
没错啦
Okay, well, uh,
好吧
let me show you my ghost problem.
请你看看我的鬼魂问题
Yeah, absolutely.
好的
Just climb on over? Uh, no. Go around.
我是要爬过去? 呃那天能绕过来
You see that?
看到没?
This keeps happening.
这样的事一直都在发生
There was, uh, an incident here
几天前这里发生了
a few days ago where, uh,
一起事故
someone died.
死过人
Ever since then, it's been chaos.
从那时起这就一直乱糟糟的
Pills keep getting knocked over so violently
药片总被打翻在地
that even the childproof caps are coming off.
甚至药瓶子上的儿童安全盖也被打开了
Oh, here's the security footage.
哦这里有监控带
Clyde, would you take that, please?
克莱德你能帮我拿一下么? 谢谢
Regarding payment, um, what is your rate
咱们来说说报酬吧这样的事情
for something like this? Well, you know...
你们一般要多少钱? 那个...
Yeah, about that payment,
关于报酬
perhaps this job is worth a thousand
这服务大概值一千粒
of those tiny, little golden corn kernels...
那种小的金色的药丸子...
for your pee-pee instead of the cashola.
治阳痿的我们不要钱
Capisce?
懂么?
We'd like a thousand Cialises as payment instead of money.
我们想要一千粒希爱力作为报酬
Yeah, of course.
好的
No problem at all.
完全没问题
Now, if you'll excuse me.
失陪一下
If we'll excuse you, then what?
然后呢?
Hello? Pac, we did it! We're in!
喂! 派克我们搞定了!
I thought that was gonna be way harder.
我觉得没这么容易
Nope. It was not.
是的这也太容易了
We're gonna get those boner pills.
我们要搞到伟哥
And then Danny's gonna have no choice
然后丹尼就没得选了
but to make us the fucking fuck masters
而我们要在丹尼的性♥爱♥马拉松趴上
of his fuck-a-thon, and then...
将成为啪啪啪大王
Whoa!
哇哦
That's right.
没错
Soak it in. Huh?
享受成功的喜悦吧什么?
You obviously know who I am.
你肯定知道我是谁
You're an owl?
一只猫头鹰?
What? No!
什么鬼我才不是!
Hawk.
雄鹰
Hawk Smith. What the fucking fart
雄鹰史密斯雄鹰史密斯
is a Hawk Smith?
是什么鬼?
I was a vigilante superhero,
我曾经是个义警超级英雄
like Jodie Foster in "The Brave One"
像朱迪·福斯特演的《勇敢的人》
meets Batman in "Batman" Or "Batman Forever."
《蝙蝠侠》或者是《永远的蝙蝠侠》
Those are the two best Batmans.
那是最强的两个蝙蝠侠
I devoted my time to protecting
我投身于保护
the good people of New York.
纽约的善良人们
Then a couple nights ago, I was standing right over there
几天前我站在那儿
down aisle five near analgesics
那边第五个走廊的止痛药旁
fully costumed, of course,
当然是全副武装
when I saw it. What?
然后我看到了什么
An actual burglar was holding up the pharmacist.
一个贼抓住了药剂师
Oh, snap, girl.
我的乖乖
At last, it was my chance to stop a real scumbag
那是我真正有机会去制止一个混♥蛋♥
and stop just beating up drunk hobos.
而不是暴打醉酒的流浪汉
When I sprang into action,
然后我猛扑过去
he killed me and ran off.
结果他杀死我逃跑了
So you wanna go beat up some more hobos?
所以你想暴打更多街边的醉鬼?
I wanna find the man who killed me
我想知道是谁杀了我
and take him down.
然后宰了他
Gotcha.
明白了
Pac, I've been... I've been talking to myself
派克我刚刚一直在自言自语
the last two blocks. What are you still doing here?
你还在这里干嘛?
I found the ghost.
我找到鬼魂了
Oh, snap, girl. Who is it?
哇哦这是哪位?
He is a lesbian Batman dressed up as a bird of some kind.
他是个拉拉蝙蝠侠打扮成了鸟的样子
That's so awesome. Eh, it's not that awesome.
好极了呃其实情况并不乐观
It's... it's pretty awesome. So, can you help me?
不过也还行啦所以你到底能不能帮我?