呆逼还愿人（2014）
Deadbeat
第三季
剧集 | 呆逼还愿人（2014） | 导航列表
呆逼还愿人（2014）
Deadbeat S03E02
Part 4
April 16, 2021, 8:31 p.m.
Oh, you mean one of these?
你是说这些小家伙们?
This is... this... ugh!
这个... 真是... 呃!
Where in the fart are we gonna find a kid on such short notice?
特么这么仓促我们怎么可能知道需要小孩子?
Pac, even if we had ample notice,
派克 即使我们注意到了
it would still be a whole thing.
结果还是一样
Yeah, all right.
好吧
What... all right, spitballing here.
什么鬼... 好吧
What about this... we lift a kid from the street.
不然... 我们从街上找一个孩子
We gotta keep this professional.
我们要专业地找
Okay? Yes. Yeah.
成吗? 是 当然
Professional. Agreed.
专业 同意
What do you have in mind? Craigslist. Let's go.
你有什么想法? 克雷格列表(网站) 走吧
Okay, Craigslist. Here we go.
好吧 克雷格列表 来吧
Wedgie-proof underwear inventeur is
菊花保护神器的发明者正在
looking for... Wait, hold on.
找... 等等
Pac, this is a multimillion-dollar idea.
派克 这可是一个价值连城的创意
We can't just put this online for some schmuck to steal.
我们不能就这样把它放在网上等着被一些呆瓜偷啊
Oh, fuck. You're right. We have to be very specific
没错 你说得对 我们要对我们的
about how we word this, right?
每一个用词都十分小心 好吗?
Just the basics. Okay, here we go.
只透露些基本信息 好吧 来吧
Try again. Uh, how about
再试试 呃 你觉得
"Men seeking boy for underwear experiment"?
"有人在寻找男孩做内♥裤♥实验"怎么样?
Perfect. Right?
完美 是吧?
Yeah.
当然
And there it goes.
这就发出去啦
Okay.
好的
Hey, Clyde, uh...
嘿 克莱德 呃...
you remember earlier
你记得之前
when you were telling me about getting bullied
你跟我说你被欺负
and you assumed that I was one of the cool kids?
还认为我是很酷的孩子吗?
Yeah.
记得
You were right! Look, there's an email.
你说的没错! 看 有邮件
Look at that. His name is Dustin.
看 他的名字叫达斯汀
I like him already. He loves "Pizzah."
我已经开始喜欢他了 他喜欢披萨
So do I. Amazing.
我也是 不可思议
I'm gonna see if he can meet right now.
我看看能不能现在就约他出来面基
Sweet, good idea.
太棒了 好主意
Done.
搞定
He's in!
他同意了
And such a fast emailer.
回复的可真快
Hey, fellas, come on in!
嘿 伙计们 进来吧!
Okay. Actually, man, we should probably get going
好的 小兄弟 如果要赶上比赛的话
if we're gonna make it to the fair in time.
我们最好快点
No problemo.
没问题
I just gotta feed my hamster upstairs first.
只是我要先上楼喂我的仓鼠
Make yourselves comfy.
你们随意
Yeah. Oh. Oh, that is springy.
好的 这可真有弹性
Hey, he's cute, right? Yeah, he's super cute.
他很可爱 不是吗? 是啊 超级可爱
Yeah. I didn't expect that.
是啊 我可没想到
Yeah. He's really wellmannered, too.
是啊 他还很懂礼貌
He is. I like that he's going up to feed his hamster.
没错 我喜欢看他去喂他的宠物仓鼠
It shows responsibility. That is true.
显示出他的责任心 没错
Yeah. You know what?
你知道吗?
I think we kind of hit the jackpot here.
我认为我们已经成功了一大半
Yep. Chaching!
没错 呜呼!
Right? I'm excited!
是吗? 我好激动!
Hello, gentlemen.
你好 先生们
Sir. Oh, herro!
先生 喔 你好!
Do you know who I am?
你们知道我是谁吗?
Uh, I presume Dustin's dad.
呃 我猜你是达斯汀的爸爸
Try again. Dustin's grandfather?
再猜 达斯汀的爷爷?
My name is Chris Andersen.
我叫克里斯·安德森
I'm the host of the show "America's Dumbest Predators."
我是"美国最愚蠢的肉食者"节目主持人
No?
不知道?
Pac, this guy's creeping me out.
派克 这家伙太诡异了
Do you know how old Dustin is?
你们知道达斯汀多大吗?
Uh, yeah, nosey.
可能吧 爱管闲事的家伙
He's 12, I think. He's actually 11.
12岁吧 我想 事实上他11岁
Sweet.
很好
You know that makes what you're doing here illegal?
你知道这使你们在这里的行为变得不合法吗?
Uh, no. We were told
呃 不知道 我们听说
that any child up to and including the age of 12
12岁以及12岁以上的孩子
was totally fine. Fair game.
都是可以的 公平竞争
Soliciting sex from a minor?
和一名未成年人进行性♥交♥?
That's not what's going on here!
这种事并不会发生
Sex?! What?! No!
性♥交♥?! 什么鬼! 当然不是!
We just... listen. We just needed to get this kid
我们只是... 听着 我们只是想让这孩子
to come back down to the city with us
和我们一起到市中心去
so we can test out a pair of underwear
进行一项内♥裤♥测验
that rips off of his body easily.
测验内♥裤♥能否被轻松地脱下来
Okay, I'm hearing how that sounds now.
好的 我知道这听起来很奇怪
I have here your email exchange
我听说你们和达斯汀
with young Dustin. Good. Proof.
有邮件往来 太棒了 证据
Here you ask him,
你们在邮件上问他
"Are you cute in a way that adults would find appealing?"
"你是否足够可爱以至于能吸引成年人?"
Yeah, because the judges of the competition...
是的 因为比赛的评审...
Here you ask, "Do you have good oral skills?"
你还问 "你有没有好的口♥活♥?"
Well, yeah. One of the categories
没错 这是目录上要求的
includes an oral presentation. Yeah.
包括口头演讲 没错
And here you ask, "Dustin, if we go all the way,
你们还问 "达斯汀 如果我们俩一起去
could you fit the two of us into your mouth?"
你能同时和我们俩口♥交♥吗?"
Yeah, becau... wait. What?
是的 因为... 等等 什么?
Let me see that.
让我看看
Oh, that was meant to say,
这的意思是
"Could you fit the two of us into your month?"
"你能和我们呆一个月吗?"
Your month meaning that if we actually win the Idea Fair,
一个月的意思是如果我们赢了比赛
it'll probably be, like, a month of meeting with investors.
我们很有可能要花一个月的时间见投资人
Hey, Clyde? I think we should make a run for it.
嘿 克莱德? 我觉得我们最好开溜
Yeah. Yeah.
没错 快跑
Oh, no, no!
喔 不 不!
Okay. All right, I'm going!
好吧 我自己来!
I'm gonna... ow, ow!
我要...喔 喔!
Why does Clyde get to stand up?
为什么克莱德可以站着?
Ah, okay, all right.
好吧好吧
Oh, God!
我的天!
I got ya,
我抓到你们了
you lying motherfucker!
你们这些说谎的混♥蛋♥
How does it feel to be accused of pedophilia
在电视上直播被指控
on national TV?
恋童的感受如何?
You human sack of shit!
你们这些混♥蛋♥!
Hey, Clyde!
嘿 克莱德!
Now you really can say
现在你可以说
I've shown you my balls!
我给你看过我弟弟!
Technically, Clyde can't see those, Mr. Fa...
事实上 克莱德根本就看不到 肥基先...
Oh, never mind. What?
无所谓了 什么?
I'll tell you later.
我等会儿告诉你
Okay, let's get up.
好的 让我站起来
You're going away for a long time, slutboy.
你要离开好久了 小流氓
Dude, we are so lucky we're not in prison right now.
兄弟 我们没有被送进监狱实在是太幸运了
Yeah, I know.
是的 我知道
Buying ChrisAndersen.Com eight years ago
八年前买♥♥下克里斯·安德森网
was the smartest thing I've ever done.
是我做过最明智的事
Yeah. Well, second smartest thing.
是啊 好吧 第二明智的事
What? What are you talking about?
啥? 你在说啥?
I think I finally cracked the trillion-dollar idea.
我想我终于放下了那个价值连城的创意
Oh, yeah, man, maybe we should just drop
是啊 兄弟 我们最好忘掉关于
the whole wedgie-proof underwear thing.
护菊花神器的一切
I'm not talking about wedgie-proof underwear.
我不是在说护菊花内♥裤♥
I'm talking about this.
我在说这个
What do you say, partner?
觉得怎么样 朋友?
呆逼还愿人（2014）
Deadbeat
剧集 | 呆逼还愿人（2014） | 导航列表