呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E08

Part 2 April 16, 2021, 8:33 p.m.

We just want to congratulate you
我们想恭喜你
on your winning bid this afternoon,
赢得了今天下午的竞价
and as a token of our appreciation,
为了表示感谢
wanted you to have this extremely large edible arrangement.
希望你能收下这个超大水果篮
Well, thank you. Does the foyer work?
谢谢你能放在大厅里吗?
Yeah.
好的
What the fuck?
我♥操♥?
Holy shit, a cat burglar.
见鬼有个飞贼
Oh, fuck this shit.
我♥操♥
Damn it!
操!
It's the fruit. It was the fruit!
怎么不是水果吃下去的时候是水果!
I was aiming at your face.
我是朝着你的脸扔的
What is that? What are you...
这是什么? 你在做...
Whoa, what's that?
哇哦这是什么?
All right, you done?
擦干净了?
Listen to me, buddy. Hey!
听好了小子!
There's only one exit out of here and it's behind me.
这里只有一个出口就在我身后
So I'm gonna give you to the count of three
所以我数到三之前
to give me that fucking painting back,
你把那该死的画还给我
you piece of shit.
小混♥蛋♥
One,
一
two...
二...
I can't tell your ethnicity.
我听不出来你是哪里人
Maybe you need me to count in Spanish.
可能我要用西班牙语数
Uno,
一
dos...
二...
Disappear without a tres.
还没数到三就消失了
Hey, how'd it go?
一切顺利吗?
Really bad.
糟透了
I got into a dogfight with a cat burglar.
我和一个飞贼大战一场
And, what, he ate all the fruit off your body?
然后他就把你身上的水果都吃掉了?
No, Clyde, I'm telling you I got robbed.
克莱德我是被抢劫了
You just let a guy steal the painting
你就像个臭娘儿们一样让他把画偷走了?
like a bitch? Like, there was no scuffle or anything?
都没好好打一架吗?
Did you just call me a bitch?
你刚才说我是臭娘儿们?
I didn't fucking hand it over like a bitch.
我他妈没像个娘儿们一样直接把画交出去
There was a big scuffle.
我们大战一场
I threw some shit at him really hard.
我朝他狠狠扔了一坨大便
Nice. Yeah!
干得漂亮没错!
Dirtied up his shoe real good.
把他的鞋弄得可脏了
Yeah, he was pretty pissed
他用石像鬼的手帕
while he was wiping off his shoe
擦鞋的时候
with that stupid gargoyle hanky.
都吓尿了
What's a gargoyle hanky? It's a gargoyle... A hanky.
石像鬼的手帕? 是一个石像鬼的... 手帕
You know, you pull it out of your pocket,
你从口袋里把它拿出来
blow your nose in it, fold over a corner,
用它擦鼻涕折起一角
put it back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
再放回去没错没错
but it had a winged demon on it or...?
但是手帕上有带翅膀的恶魔吗? 还是...
No, it's got...
不上面是...
what's that pattern called
那图案叫什么来着
where it makes me horny and dizzy?
能让你饥渴目眩?
Argyle. Gargyle, Gargyle!
菱形石像鬼石像鬼!
Gargyle. No, no, an argyle handkerchief
石像鬼不不对你说的是
is what you're talking about. Oh! Like the guy
菱形图案的手帕对了! 就像那个
from the auction. You're talking about
拍卖♥♥会上的人你是说那个
the hat tipper? Yeah.
脱帽致敬的人? 没错
Holy shit, do you think he was mad
我靠你觉得他因为没拍到画
'cause he didn't win the auction?
气疯了吗?
Maybe. Fuck.
没准吧我♥操♥
Or maybe he never wanted to win.
或者他就没想赢
What are we having for dinner?
我们晚饭吃什么?
Fuck.
我♥操♥
Maybe he was bumping up the bid
没准他就是想搅乱拍卖♥♥
to increase the market value of the painting
好在他偷之前
before he stole it. Shit.
提高画的市场价值见鬼了
That sounds pretty smart.
听起来好机智啊
It also explains why he felt so confident
这还能解释为什么他像个同性恋一样脱帽致敬的时候
doing that gay hat tip.
会觉得这么自信
Okay, so...
那么...
how do we catch an art thief?
我们怎么捉住一个偷画贼?
We just need the right kind of bait.
我们只需要一个合适的诱饵
And sold
成交
the couple who have not
卖♥♥给了这对
gone down on each other in a decade...
十年没有性生活的夫妇...
Beg pardon. Beg pardon.
不好意思不好意思
Beg pardon. Beg pardon.
不好意思不好意思
Oh, what a magnificent jacket. Good day, ma'am.
这外套真华丽您好女士
Wow, is that retriever?
哇哦这是猎犬的毛吗?
May I caress it again?
我能再摸一下吗?
Again.
再摸一下
Remember, we don't bid until he does.
记着等他出价了我们再出
And we'll open the bidding at 150,000.
底价十五万
I have 150. Do I hear 200?
十五万有人出二十万吗?
I have 200. Can I get 225?
二十万有人出二十二万五吗?
Present! Ahem, present!
出价! 我出价!
I have 225
这对企鹅兄弟
for the penguin brothers.
出价二十二万五
Can I get 250? 250!
有二十五万吗? 二十五万!
300?
三十万?
350?
三十五万?
400.
四十万
450. 500.
四十五万五十万
500 to you, sir.
五十万成交归您了
No? Sir, you're bidding against yourself.
不愿意? 先生你在和自己竞价
500.
五十万
Going once, going twice, and sold
五十万一次五十万两次成交
to the gentlemen who appear to be in disguise.
卖♥♥给了这两位乔装打扮的先生们
Who?
说谁?
So with tax, your total comes to $670,000.
加上税您一共要付六十七万元
Cash or credit?
刷♥卡♥还是付现?
Well, the dilemma I'm coming up against is, uh,
这下就有点麻烦了是这样的
I only seem to have
我钱包里
a couple hundred thousand on me in my wallet.
好像只有几十万块
Do you take credit? Of course.
可以用信♥用♥卡♥付吗? 当然可以
If I could just get that card. Indubitably.
可以把卡给我吗没有问题
No!
不!
Our system seems
我们的系统
to be down at the moment.
现在好像坏了
Well, if that's not a kick in the undercarriage,
除非是底座被踢坏了
I don't know what is. Do you take checks?
否则没别的理由能说得通你们收支票吗?
Oh, we're not supposed to take checks.
我们不收支票的
Oh, biscuits!
小饼干!
We're supposed to be on the yacht by 4:00!
我们应该在四点之前到游艇上
Yeah, yeah, you see,
没错没错
we're vacationing somewhere very, very wealthy,
接下来几天我们要去非常非常富裕的
very exotic over the next few days.
有异国风情的地方度假
Oh, sounds lovely.
听起来真不错
Where? Uh, the Chiquita Islands.
在哪里? 奇基塔岛
Beautiful. All right.
美丽的地方好吧
I'll tell you what.
你猜怎么着
I'm going to make an exception for you guys
我要给你们特别待遇
because you're clearly the real deal.
因为你们是真的想做这笔生意
Clearly. Wonderful.
真的太好了
Thank you. Thank you very much, very much.
谢谢非常非常感谢
Check, one, two.
一号♥ 二号♥ 听到请回答
Check, check. That is affirmative. Go for Pac.
收到收到清楚明白派克请回答
Copy that.
收到
Should we double-check? I think we should double-check.
我们要再确认一次吗? 我觉得要再确认一次
All right. All set for the double check.
好的准备就绪开始再次确认
Check, check, check. Check one. Check two.
一号♥ 二号♥ 听到请回答听到请回答