呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E11

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 8:34 p.m.

The museum received a shipment of medieval artifacts
博物馆上周收到了一些由位欧洲捐献者
from a European donor last week.
捐献的中世纪的物品
But whenever we try to put them on display,
可是每当想把它们陈列出来的时候
the pieces start to parry around on their own.
那些物品就会自动躲开
Wow, cool!
哇哦这么厉害!
Well, it's a spectacle to behold, for sure,
确实是挺奇特的让人们来参观也不错
but there are swords involved.
不过自己会动的宝剑太危险了
Are you sure you want me to undo the one thing
你确定要我解决这个么?
that might make this museum interesting?
这可能是你们博物馆唯一的亮点了
It's an insurance issue.
事关保险赔偿金
It is? Okay, good enough.
这样啊那确实得解决了
Well, Milady, rest assured.
行了夫人放心吧
Pac is on the job,
交给我了
so you can go back to curing whatever diseases
你继续拾掇那些你一直在弄的
you cure here... I curate art.
劳什子... 我修复艺术
And I can parry on down here.
让我从这大展身手
Well, just be careful.
你小心着点
Some of these pieces are beyond value.
有些可是无价之宝
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
当然了必须的
Wherefore art thou, ghost?
你到底是何方神圣小鬼魂?
Come on. I don't got all day.
快出来吧我可没功夫陪你耗一整天
I mean, I do, but I just...
其实我也没别的事不过...
I'd rather finish up before this Adderall...
早点整完早好...
I got you, you little fuck face.
总算给你撬开了你个小婊♥子♥
God, my back is killing me.
我天呐我后背要疼死了
Oh, these pistachios.
这些开心果呀
My button's stuck.
我扣子卡住了
You got my button there.
你快把我扣子松开
Let go, you big...
快放开你个肥...
Shit, no!
卧♥槽♥ 别啊!
That's not on me.
这可不是我弄坏的
That's... that's on you, Knight of the Living Dead!
这... 这得你赔你个活死人骑士!
I am no knight.
我可不是骑士
I am King Stevelyn Newcastle.
我是斯蒂维林·纽卡斯尔国王
Okay.
好吧
But that's still on you.
那也是你赔
What sorcery is this
你用了什么巫术
that a man can confer with spirits?
才能做到和鬼魂交流?
I'm a medium. It's an accepted thing.
我是灵媒真有这个职业的
Why have you the cloak of a wizard, then?
那你为什么带着巫师的兜帽?
Cloak of a wiz... oh, shit, no.
巫师的兜... 我去这可不是
It's a hoodie. They call it a hood... hoodie
帽衫而已我们叫这个帽... 帽衫
cause it's got a hood on it.
就是衣服上有个帽子
I'm guessing you're not from around here.
你大概不是这儿的人吧
I reigned over a kingdom once.
我曾经统治整个国家
There it is. A magnificent kingdom
这就对了无比壮阔的国家
in a land far off.
在遥远的大♥陆♥上
One day, my men and I were returning
有一天我和我的臣民
from a most fruitful hunt in the White Wood.
在白木打猎收获颇丰正准备返程
My son... my only son Lonathan
我的儿子... 唯一的儿子鲁纳森
was on the ripe tip of manhood.
已成长为足以独当一面的男人
I'm sorry. As you were, Your Majesty.
不好意思您继续我的国王陛下
But as we neared the kingdom gates,
但当我们正要进入门内之时
we fell under siege.
突然被团团包围
And when I turned my back...
当我转身之际...
Betrayal.
背叛
Twice crossed
正中心脏
by my most trusted knight,
被我最信赖的骑士
Jerryd the Liar.
说谎者贾瑞德
Jerryd the Liar?
说谎者贾瑞德?
I probably should have seen it cometh.
我是该想到的
Maybe a little bit. Jerryd took the crown that day.
确实那天贾瑞德夺走了我的皇冠
And darkness spread across the land
黑暗笼罩了我的王国
like syphilis across a whore's lady-flower.
正如布满妓♥女♥蜜♥穴♥的梅毒一般
The throne must be returned to my bloodline, hooded man.
王权必须回到我的血脉中戴帽人
Peace and honor must be restored.
和平与荣耀需被恢复
Yeah, I'm not doing this job.
我不干了
What do you mean you're not going to do it?
你说不干了是什么意思?
Your ghost is an old-timey king
你这儿的鬼魂是个古代的国王
and his unfinished business
他的遗愿
is basically impossible for me to do
我根本不可能完成
because of how much time has passed, understand?
时间太久远了明白么?
Also, he, uh... he knocked over one of your things over here.
还有就是那个... 他把那边什么东西打翻了
Which king?
哪任国王?
Stevelyn Newcastle.
斯蒂维林·纽卡斯尔国王
Stevelyn Newcastle. Steve?
斯蒂维林·纽卡斯尔国王斯蒂夫?
Steve was a cashier at the museum gift shop
斯蒂夫之前是我们博物馆礼品店的收银员
who was really into LARPing.
沉迷角色扮演
Oh, shit.
我去
Is that when you let a llama
是不是让大羊驼
lick peanut butter out of your smelly button?
舔你肚脐上的花生酱那种?
What?
你说什么?
LARPing stands for Live Action Role Playing.
角色扮演就是真实情境下真人扮演角色
I cast a lightning bolt on you!
我向你发射雷霆闪电球!
I block it with the armor of Delyrium Onyx!
我用迪勒瑞姆黑玛瑙的盔甲防御!
Lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt!
雷霆闪电球雷霆闪电球雷霆闪电球!
Wait! Just... can you hold on?
等等... 你等一下好不好?
Stevelyn Newcastle was his character's name.
斯蒂维林·纽卡斯尔是他角色的名字
He was so into LARPing,
他太入戏了
he actually died while playing the game.
甚至真的在游戏中死去
You gotta be kidding me!
你逗我呢!
I know not of what this pasty peasant speaks,
我不知道这个苍白的乡下人在说什么
nor do I know of this Steve.
也不知道什么斯蒂夫
Oh, shit. What?
我去怎么了?
Steve... Stevelyn... died in character,
斯蒂夫... 斯蒂维林... 在角色扮演时死的
so now he's trapped in character as a ghost.
现在他的鬼魂也被困在了那个角色中
I can't stand the idea of Steve's weirdo ghost
我受不了斯蒂夫的疯子鬼魂
roaming around all these weapons.
在这些武器中乱逛
Hooded man, I implore thee.
戴帽人我恳求你
Return the kingdom of Quam to my only son, Lonathan.
助我唯一的儿子鲁纳森夺回王国
This is gonna be so fucking hard.
这太难了
No, I'll double the fee.
我给你双倍酬金
So she agreed to pay you triple?
她竟然答应给你三倍的钱?
Yeah. I wouldn't get too excited, though.
你先别高兴的太早
I have a feeling there's some nerdy shit ahead.
我觉得这事没那么容易
Yeah, no kidding. This LARPing game
说真的这个角色扮演
sounds lame, huh? Yeah. Here we are.
挺没劲的哈? 就是这儿了
This is where the ghost said we'd find his son
那个鬼魂说他儿子就在这
"laying in wait."
"时刻准备着"
It's so stupid!
傻缺啊!
Good day.
你们好啊
Is, one of you handsome young squires Prince Lonathan?
小可爱们你们谁是鲁纳森王子?
Prince Lonathan?
鲁纳森王子?
You know him? I do.
你认识他? 是的
He was... me.
他就是... 我
You're Steve's son?
你是斯蒂夫的儿子?
No, no.
当然不是
Lonathan was Stevelyn's son in the game.
游戏里鲁纳森是斯蒂维林的儿子
Okay, look,
行吧听我说
I'm a medium...
我是个灵媒...
And I was speaking to the ghost of Steve... Stevelyn.
之前和斯蒂夫我是说斯蒂维林谈过
And the "king" needs his "son"
那个"国王"现在需要他"儿子"
to retake the "throne."
夺回"王位"
Oh, I... I'm really sorry. I would love to help you out,
这样啊... 真的很抱歉我很想帮你
but... when my father was slain,
可是... 我父王被杀害后
his bannermen disbanded to all corners of Quam.
他的士兵们分散到了高昌的各个角落里
I am now forced to live out my days
我被迫过着卑贱的生活
as a lowly shopkeep
接管这个小店
unless by some miracle of Zeus
除非宙斯给你奇迹般的魔力
you are able to round up my father's knights.
召集我父王的骑士们