呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E10

Part 1 April 16, 2021, 8:33 p.m.

I still think bottles are the best move.
我还是觉得瓶子是最好的选择
No, they're not because you can't crush a beer bottle
才不是呢因为你不可能能用你的额头砸碎
on your forehead. Sure, you can.
瓶子啊怎么不能
Yeah, if you want blood everywhere.
要是你想看血花四溅的话倒是能
Listen, hey, we're forgetting the most important thing here.
听着咱们忘了一件重要的事情
We're partying with Danny Poker tonight.
咱们今晚要跟扑克王♥丹♥尼一起嗨
Do you know what that means? Strippers!
你知道这意味着什么吗? 脱衣舞娘!
Oh, dude, we're, like, in his squad now.
呃哥们儿这意味着咱们进入他的圈子里了
We're going squad-deep with Danny Poker.
我们要深入扑克王♥丹♥尼了
Squad goals accomplished.
跟他混熟这个愿望达成了
Man, we are gonna drink our dicks off.
老兄啊咱俩今晚要喝到小鸡鸡没掉
'Sup, bitches?
嘛呢小婊砸们?
Hey.
嗨
Sweatpants to the strip club, huh?
你这裤子太适合去脱衣舞俱乐部了
Damn it, I knew I should've worn my Adidas nylons, man.
我靠早知道我应该穿我的阿迪达斯尼龙裤的老兄
You know, extra sensitivity.
你懂哒格外的灵敏呢
I actually had them on. You did?
我其实穿来着呢你穿来着?
But then I decided to change to my cargo pants
但后来我想了想还是换上了我的工装裤
'cause, you know, I need all these pockets
因为你懂的我需要这种有很多口袋的裤子
for all the extra numbers I'm about to get.
说不定会有好多妞塞给我电♥话♥号♥码呢
Yeah, boy.
没错好小子
Clyde, shoes. Oh, shit.
克莱德鞋脱了哎呀我去
Clyde, take your fucking shoes off, man.
克莱德把你的辣鸡鞋子脱了啊二缺
Sorry. All right, guys. Hey, Danny, look.
不好意思啦脱好了弟兄们嗨丹尼快看
Brought two different types of beer.
我们带了两种不同牌子的啤酒
I got these awesome old-school cans
我喝这些走复古风的罐啤
or you got these stupid old bottles.
或者你喝那些二不啦唧的瓶装啤酒
Which one you want? Neither.
你选哪个? 老子哪个都不选
I'm still getting over last night.
昨晚大发了我还没醒呢
Oh, really? Wow.
啊真的吗? 哇哦
What were you drinking? Cocaine.
你昨晚喝啥了? 白粉儿
In fact, no anything tonight.
我说啊今晚啥也不喝
I've been going hard for the past six months,
我这六个月都玩得太狠了
so I just need a night to flush these pipes out...
所以呢我需要一个晚上好好的打通我的任督二脉...
my dick pipe, my leg pipes,
我小鸡鸡的脉我大腿的脉
my stomach pipes and... Yeah.
我肚子的脉和... 没错
Butt pipes, all that stuff. Sounds great.
还有你翘臀的脉所有的脉哎呦不错哦
So maybe just a couple of girls.
所以我们就只叫几个姑娘就好了
Yeah, one or two... one for each of us or whatever.
没错一两个... 咱们每人一个之类的
The reason I called you two
我叫上你俩
is 'cause all 20 of my go-tos are on the rag.
是因为我的二十个姘头都来姨妈了
I knew they were spending too much time together.
我就知道她们在一起的时间太长了
Perils of an orgy. So tonight, super mellow.
纵欲过度有风险啊所以今晚我们要成熟起来
No drugs, no strippers.
不要毒品不要脱衣舞娘
Just a quiet movie night.
过一个静静的电影之夜
Yeah.
好啊
Can we at least call it Boys' Night In?
至少让我们称今晚为室内的男孩之夜可以不?
Oh.
拜托拜托
Fine. Yes! Mm!
好吧碉堡了! 耶!
I can't marry you, Jim.
我不能嫁给你吉姆
I'm dying.
我是个将死之人了
I'm going to meet my god now.
我将要去追寻我的主了
But you are my goddess, Diane.
但你是我的女神啊戴安
You.
就是你啊
And my religion is loving you.
而我唯一的信仰就是爱你
Okay, we can have one beer!
行了朕准你俩可以每人喝一瓶啤酒!
Here, have a little bit of mine.
来吧喝点我的
There you go and there you go.
给你了再给你点
Here's to one beer.
敬一杯啤酒
To show ourselves we can.
来证明我们能行
Yeah. Prove to myself
说得好来证明自己
that I don't have a problem.
脑子没病
Here's to not drinking.
敬不喝酒
Cheers.
干杯
Oh, fuck.
啊卧♥槽♥
Ugh.
恶
Danny?
丹尼?
Did we, uh... Huh?
我们有没有呃... 啥?
Did we at least use protection?
至少我们带套套了吧?
Jesus! Get dressed.
你大爷啊! 赶紧穿上衣服
I don't wanna look at your little Pokmon.
我不想看见你的宠物小精灵
Wait a second.
等下
Wait, where's my diamond belt?
等下我的钻石腰带哪去了?
I don't know. I don't know.
不造啊我不造
We must've gone shopping at some point last night
我们昨晚啥时候肯定去购物了
'cause I seem to have picked up
因为我好像买♥♥了一条
this rather fashionable white scarf,
好时髦的白围巾
which I am rocking so hard right now.
老娘现在戴着好漂酿呀哈哈
It's got a pretty distinct odor.
闻起来还有股醉人的味道
But, hot Carl, do I look good. Look at this.
管他的卡尔小帅帅哥看起来就是个传说快看人家了啦
You don't seem to understand, all right?
你还是那么懵逼啊是吧?
I'm missing my lucky belt
我的幸运腰带没了
and I'm dressed like fucking Claude.
而且我穿的就像那个傻缺的克劳德
Clyde. Who cares?
是克莱德谁要管这个啦?
Wait... wait a minute, you...
等... 等下你...
you're literally wearing Clyde's clothes right now?
你现在穿的就是克莱德的衣服吧?
Yeah, either that or I went on a cruise
那可不要不然就是我昨晚
to the gay Bahamas last night.
跟着游♥行♥去了那家巴哈马同性恋酒吧
What the fuck is Clyde wearing?
那克莱德穿了啥啊?
Clyde! Hello!
克莱德! 在呢嘛!
He's around here naked just like me. I can feel it.
他就在附近啥也没穿跟我似的我能感觉到他的存在
Clyde, are you just bumming around, buddy?
克莱德你是不在附近转悠呢小兄弟?
No, no, no, no, no, no!
不不不不不不是吧!
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, Danny.
啊不不不不不不丹尼啊
Danny, Danny, Clyde's not here,
丹尼丹尼克莱德不在这啊
but his phone and his keys are.
但是他的手♥机♥和钥匙在这
Oh, shit, he's not here.
哎呀我去他不在这啊
Clyde's not here. Something's wrong.
克莱德不在这肯定发生了什么事
Clyde! Clyde!
克莱德! 克莱德!
Fuck. How the fuck did we black out so hard?
卧♥槽♥啊我们怎么断片儿断的这么严重啊?
Hey! Danny Poker doesn't black out.
说什么呢! 扑克王♥丹♥尼从来不断片
Okay, then you can help.
你说啥就是啥那你能帮忙啦
I just don't remember anything right now.
没断片只是我现在啥也记不起来了
Look, we just need a clue.
听着我们现在只需要一条线索
That's a good idea.
好主意
Shit. Just look for clues.
我去赶紧找找线索吧
Ah! Hey.
啊! 看
I never forget a meal.
我从来不忘吃了啥
That's Mongolian beef.
这是蒙古牛排的味道
Dude, that was in my ass.
傻缺那玩意是从我胯下拿出来的
Tasted a little assy.
尝起来有股翘臀的味道
Shitzakaya.
屎屎杂货屋
This must be where we ate last night.
我们昨晚肯定是在那吃的
Let's go.
走着
Is that your beer? Nope.
那是你的啤酒不? 不是
My beer's pretty quiet today.
我的啤酒今儿好淡啊
What the fuck? All right, that admittedly
神马鬼? 好了事分轻重缓急
is a whole thing that we are gonna have to deal with later,
这个我们可以稍后再处理
okay? I'm not going anywhere!
好伐? 我哪也不去!
There's old-ass strangers up in my place.
我家里有俩陌生的老家伙
Your belt.
你滴腰带啊亲
Oh, dear God. You're right.
啊苍天啊你说得对
I almost forgot.
我差点给忘了
There's no time to waste. We'll be back.
不能浪费时间了我们还会回来的
Danny, Pac-y, you're back!
丹尼小派派你俩肥来了!
You know us?
你认识我俩?
Uh,
呃
well, I really hope you know us
我真心希望你是认识我俩的
'cause running up to a total stranger
因为跑向一个陌生人
and sticking your tongue in their mouth is kind of rude.
还把舌头硬塞进他们嘴里实在有点任性