呆逼还愿人（2014）

Deadbeat S03E03

Part 3 April 16, 2021, 8:31 p.m.

Come on!
给点力啊!
Wait, how... how is this useful?
这个嗯... 这有什么用啊?
Shh, just trust the process.
嘘信任这个过程
Okay.
好的
Ah, yeah!
啊进了!
This was such a great day!
今天简直爽翻了!
Oh, we are gonna crush this "Tourniement" Tomorrow.
明天的"锦漂赛"我们绝对赢定了
"Tourniement."
"锦漂赛"
"Tourniement," Is that... is that right?
"锦漂赛" 是怎么说的来着?
Tournament.
锦标赛
No, no, that's definitely not right.
不对不对这么说肯定不对
Tournam...
锦标...
holy shit, I have no idea anymore.
日了我彻底不知道咋说了
Tour... na... ment.
锦... 标... 赛
"Tour... nament." "Tour... na... ment."
"锦... 标赛" "锦... 标... 赛"
Alfred!
阿尔弗雷德！
Alfred, are you...?
阿尔弗雷德你是不是...?
Stoned?
嗨了?
No.
根本没有
You're grounded. No tournament for you.
你被禁足了不许去什么锦标赛
That sounds right.
那么说好像对
Who are you?
你哪位?
That's...
他是...
Alfred, come.
阿尔弗雷德进来
I'm sorry, guys. I can't do the Bong Pong-a-thon.
太抱歉了兄弟们我不能去大♥麻♥乒乓赛了
Shelly really put her foot down.
雪莉根本不容商量
Hey, we're gonna break you out.
放心我们会救你出来的
Wait, why are you whispering?
话说你干嘛悄声说话?
Oh, I don't know. Duh.
我都没注意
It's useless. She's... she's got me on lockdown.
没用的她... 现在对我开启一级防范禁闭了
It's cool. We got a plan.
放心吧我们有计划的
Does your plan involve
你们的计划就是
trying to pose my wife with a naked guy
给我老婆拍和裸男的照片
and then using the pictures as blackmail?
然后用来威胁她么?
No!
当然不是!
We need a new plan.
咱得想个新计划
I've got one.
已经想到了
Well, isn't today your lucky day?
嘿恭喜你啦
Can I help you? No.
有什么可以帮您的么? 不用不用
But I can help you.
可是我能帮你
Really?
呵呵
Jack Slenderson, Clypac Vacuums.
我是杰克·斯兰德逊·克派克吸尘器公♥司♥的
I'm sure you've heard of us.
你一定对我们有所耳闻吧
We're one of the big dogs in the vacuum community.
我们公♥司♥在吸尘器界一直处于领先地位的
I haven't.
没听说过
Excuse me. W... wait, uh, shoes off!
借过你干嘛先把鞋脱了!
Now, when the science doctors at Clypac
当克派克的工程师们
set out to revolutionize
决定对吸尘器
the way we suck shit up off the floor,
进行改朝换代的改造时
they knew they had to think outside the box.
他们知道必须从盒子外面思考(要有突破性的创新)
Which is why this comes in a case.
因此这个吸尘器是装在箱子中的
That's still a box.
这还是个盒子
May I... cunt-inue?
请让我... 说完好么?
See that blue cord?
您看见这上面的蓝色线了么?
That blue cord hooks up to the Internet.
这是连接到网络上的
That's what really makes the R2D2
正因此才成就了R2D2的
so incredibly special.
不同凡响
Now, the R2D1 did not have several features.
嗯 R2D1是没什么新奇的地方
Obviously, you've got some nice fancy lights here,
显而易见只有这些好看的小灯
but it's incredibly functional.
不过效能是真的不错
In fact, let's fire it up right now!
说的够多了咱们来实际用一下!
You feel that power?
感受到了么?
You feel the power in your pussy?
直冲你花蕊的力量?
It's like Christmas following a Sunday morning!
就像紧跟着周末的圣诞节!
It's very loud! You know who hates this sound?
这太吵了! 你知道谁忍♥受不了这声音么?
Dirt. I do, too!
垃圾我也受不了啊!
Oh, uh, excuse me. Do you know where the sign-in is?
你好请问报名点在哪?
Oh, yeah, sure!
想知道?
It's just right up inside my sister's stretched-out pussy.
就在我姐们撑大了的逼里呀
Did she say it was in her sister's pussy?
刚刚她是说在她姐们逼里么?
"Stretched-out pussy."
"撑大了的逼"
You did it, man. You got Nugget.
可以啊兄弟你真的把黄金鸡块带来了
Yeah. Some of the competition around here is pretty mean.
当然了不过这儿有些选手也太刻薄了
The key to bong pong is extreme focus.
夺冠的关键就是要专注那一点
Like, laser-fucking foc...
激光那样专...
holy shit, man, look!
卧♥槽♥ 哥们快看这个!
Okay, come on. Let's go do this.
行了来吧赶快拿下它
Here we are at the 36th Annual
下面是我们第36届的大♥麻♥乒乓赛
Bong Pong-a-thon.
年度盛典
Where does the time go, huh, Gary?
时间过得太快了对吧加里?
It's un-fucking-believable, Jerry.
真♥他♥妈♥的快杰瑞
实况转播
It really is. Really is.
确实没错
First-round matches are underway
第一轮比赛即将开始
and right now, Team Brain Damage'd
我们面前的是脑残队
find themselves in the middle of a real bong burner
和兄弟会的兄弟们
with the Frat Buds.
的正面交锋
Hey, just...
嘿只要...
Team Brain Damage'd working off the dust.
脑残队也不行啊
Right again, Jer-bear.
没错杰宝熊
Come on! What's going on?
认真的么? 你什么情况?
I don't know. I... I'm nervous, I guess.
我也说不好... 我可能是紧张
Nervous? You're... you're a fucking brain surgeon.
紧张? 你... 你平时可是给人家大脑做手术的
Yeah, but that's different.
可是这又不一样
This is the Bong Pong-a-thon.
这可是大♥麻♥乒乓啊
The stakes are so high!
奖品太丰厚了!
Just try and relax and have some fun.
你就放松点当玩儿一样
How am I supposed to relax and have fun?
我怎么可能当玩儿一样?
Why don't you let 'er rip there, Nuggles?
给他们点厉害看看黄金鸡块
That was a huge hit, Gary!
这可真是一大口是吧加里!
He's really taking it up a notch.
他用生命在战斗啊
I wasn't even looking. Totally missed it, Jerry.
我没注意根本没看见杰瑞
Yes!
进了!
The doctor is in!
医生重返舞台了!
He's a brain surgeon.
他可是脑外科医生
I am a brain surgeon.
我是脑外科医生
That's what I'm talking about!
这才对了!
It's awesome!
好样的!
Our championship match is set.
争夺冠军的两队已经确定了
To no one's surprise, our returning champions,
不出意料的是我们上一届的冠军组合
the Tamp-Bongs, have made it all the way into the finals.
梆梆怼一路闯入决赛
But the real story here is that of their competitor.
真正有意思的是她们的对手
Coming out of a 25-year retirement,
25年之后重返的
Team Brain Damage'd.
脑残队
At some point, you have to ask yourself, Jerry,
你可以问问自己杰瑞
"Who gives a shit?"
"谁他妈在乎这个?"
All right, what is going on with you, Gary?
我受够了你到底有什么问题加里?
Susan left me. She took the kids.
苏珊带着孩子们离开我了
实况转播
Jesus.
天呐
Do I have to stay here for the rest of this?
我必须等这结束才能走吗?
Yeah.
肯定的
Shelly, I would have to be a real maniac
雪莉我真是疯了
to have collected all of the dog shit
才能从你家附近收集
from your neighborhood
这些狗屎
and pour it right here on your carpet.
然后洒在你地毯上
Uh, don't. Don't!
你别! 住手!
Oh, you did that!
我的个亲娘啊!
Oh, look at that.
喔这太恶心了
You ready for the magic?
你准备好见证奇迹了么?
Yeah.
拜托了