麻烦满屋（2016）

Crowded S01E02

Part 2 June 4, 2021, 9:16 a.m.

in the beginning...
就恨他
but then he wins me over.
但是最终他还是会赢得我
Mom and I will help you make a dating profile,
我和妈妈会帮你填写约会信息
and you've got nothing to worry about.
你完全不需要担心
I've seen you naked, and your boobs
我见过你裸体样子你的胸部
are like two perfect handfuls of perky.
完美无瑕
I'm out.
我退出
And there's nothing wrong with vanilla.
并且香草什么错也没有
They're exotic beans, and their flavor is exquisite.
它们是异国风味的豆子并且口感细腻
Oh, so good.
哦如此完美
What's bothering you, huh?
你在烦恼什么啊
Is it that free-love, hippie-commune thing
是在你那里上演的
you got going on at your place?
自♥由♥恋爱小混混社区的事情吗
You miss Nixon, don't you?
你很怀念尼克松不是吗
Every day.
每天都怀念
Look, you made a big stink that we should talk more, so talk.
看你惹了祸所以我们该多谈谈那就谈吧
All right, fine.
好吧成
Martina and I used to have a good, frequent thing going,
玛蒂娜和我曾有一个完美频繁的生活
and now that the girls are home, it's not happening at all.
现在我们的女孩们在家呆着再也没有那些了
Wah, wah. Stop crying. You'll ruin your dress.
哇哇不要哭你会糟蹋了你的裙子的
I'm sorry, habit. Go on.
抱歉啊坏习惯继续
So I think I got it figured out.
我觉得我已经说的很明显了
The girls are poisoning Martina against me.
女孩们给玛蒂娜洗♥脑♥来贬低我
They say I'm vanilla. She sees me as vanilla.
他们说我很无聊她也认为我很无聊
And she doesn't want to have sex with vanilla.
她不想和香草男做♥爱♥
It's like the old days. It's three against one.
这个就像原来发生过的他们三个一起对付我
I wish I had a son.
我多希望我有个儿子
It isn't that great.
有儿子也没那么好
Look, I went through something similar with your mother,
你看我和你妈妈也经历过类似的事
and it's one of the reasons why we split up.
这也是我们离婚的原因之一
She was a free spirit, into all that New Age crap,
她自♥由♥不羁沉溺于所有的新时代［以崇尚另类生活为标志］垃圾
and, well, she saw me as a square cop
很显然她觉得我也是个古板的警♥察♥
who wouldn't try new things.
不想尝试新事物
You can't let this slide, Mike.
你不能再让这事发生麦克
You got to spice things up.
你得把事情变有趣起来
How do you propose I do that?
我该怎么做到
Well, I got some tips from movies.
这个嘛我从电影里得到一些启发
Movies?
电影
You know...
你懂的
movies.
那些电影啊
Are you talking about porn?
你指的是小黄♥片♥吗
Yeah, but I'm trying to be a little classy.
是的但是我还算是个有品位的人
All right, you got a computer, don't you?
好了你有电脑的不是吗
You won't believe what they got going on
你不会相信他们做那事时候
in that thing.
都做什么
I know what they got going on in that thing.
我当然知道他们做事时候都做什么
I'm just more of a magazine guy.
我只是更喜欢杂♥志♥
I don't need plot.
我才不需要情节呢
I don't care how the pizza got there.
我根本不在乎披萨饼怎么在那里的呢
Y'all talking about porn?
你们在讨论小黄♥片♥吗
I have to say, your father became
我得说在我们看了几个小片以后你♥爸♥爸
a much better lover after we watched a few films.
变成了个好多了的爱人了
You have to say that?
你非要说出来吗
It seems like you want to say that.
哦看起来你确实想说出来
Okay, ToastUp is the greatest dating app ever.
你们看烤热是最好的约会软件
So your picture and your profile
所以你的照片和简介
are your slice of bread,
就是你的那片面包
and when you match with other slices,
当你匹配到别的面包片后
they pop up out of a toaster.
他们会弹出一个烤面包机显示出来
Okay, Shea, how would you describe your look?
来吧谢依你怎么描述自己的长相
My face is fairly symmetrical,
我的脸相当对称
average height,
平均身高
hips regrettably boyish.
臀部却可悲得像男孩
I'll put "Banging."
我还是写“巨大的”吧
Personality?
个性呢
Typical scientist... methodical, logical.
典型的科学家有条不紊有逻辑
Brain also "Banging."
脑袋也是“巨大的”
Okay, for fun, I filled out profiles
好吧为了乐子我也帮你和奶奶
for you and Grandma.
填了个人简介
Just open the app. But we're married.
打开软件看看吧但是我们都结婚了啊
Just 'cause you're tied to the fence
只是因为你被固定住了
doesn't mean you can't bark at the cars.
也并不意味着你不能在车里吠叫啊
Ooh, those are your matches.
哦那些是你的匹配
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look.
好的我猜看看也无妨的
Oh, my God, they're all so old.
哦我的神啊他们都好老
Oh, look at this fine Denzel-looking dreamboat.
哦看看这个完美的丹泽尔长相的梦中情人
Ha ha. That's what's out there looking for me, ladies.
哈哈女士们这就是在外边寻觅我的人的质量哦
Yeah, he's only a barista,
是的他只是一个咖啡馆服务生
but that just means he's a go-getter.
但是这只能证明他是个阳光男而已
Mm, this app is great.
唔这个软件真是棒棒哒
Oh, wait. What's that? Why is my toast burning?
哦等等这是什么为什么我的面包片烧着了
He's tossing your toast. He's rejecting you.
他丢的你的面包片他拒绝了你
Rejecting me?
竟然拒绝我了
That broke-ass, ratchet, pretty-boy mother.
就那个穷鬼喋喋不休的漂亮男孩样子的贱♥货♥
I don't have time for this nonsense.
我才没空用理这些垃圾
That app sucks!
这软件烂爆了
More matches, Mom?
又有匹配了吗妈妈
No, I created a profile for your dad.
没我给你♥爸♥爸建立了一个账户
Later we'll laugh about how we can never leave each other
过会我们就可以大笑着明白为什么我们永远不会离开对方
because it's really bad out there and...
就因为外边的人都太烂了而且
Oh, my God, Mike could get models.
哦天啊麦克能匹配到模特
They're, like, 20 years younger with tattoos and piercings.
他们看起来就像比我年轻20岁并且有纹身和穿孔
Mom, Dad's not going anywhere. You make him happy.
妈妈爸爸哪也不会去的你让他很开心
Yeah. I do make him happy...
是啊我确实让他很开心的
though not lately.
虽然最近并不是这样
Your dad and I are a little out of sync
你♥爸♥爸和我有点
in the romance department.
在浪漫部分不太同步
Oh, my God.
哦神啊
If you guys split up, where do we live?
如果你们离婚了我们住哪里啊
But it's Dad, vanilla Dad.
但是那是爸爸啊香草爸爸
You're right. I'm his vanilla.
你说的对啊我是他的香草啊
He's not interested in young girls.
他才不会对那些年轻女孩感兴趣呢
I'm hot, and I'm 21,
我很火♥辣♥ 21岁
and I live in your neighborhood.
并且我住你家旁边
You don't live in my neighborhood.
你肯定没住我家旁边
I would've remembered you.
要不我怎么不记得你
Ooh, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
哦哦哦哦对的哦耶
No, no, don't freeze.
不不不要卡住啊
Don't freeze on that image!
不要卡在这个画面上啊
What are you doing?
你干什么呢
Just putting the computer to sleep...
就是让电脑休息睡会儿
like a parakeet.
就像照顾长尾鹦鹉一样
Shh.
睡吧睡吧
All right, fine.
好吧就这样吧
I was watching porn in the kitchen
中午的时候
in the middle of the day.
我在厨房♥看小黄♥片♥
Just one of the many cool, badass, non-vanilla things
这只是我做的很酷坏坏的没那么“香草男”的
that I do.
事之一
Oh, my God, that math on the chalkboard's all wrong.
哦上帝啊黑板上的数学题全写错了
That's probably why the teacher's doing that to her.
这可能就是为什么老师正在那么“教育”她
All right, girls, upstairs.
好了女孩们上楼去
Look, I can explain. I'm not mad about the porn.
这么说吧我可以解释 - 我不是生气你看小黄♥片♥
I'm just surprised.
我只是很惊讶
Those girls are so young.
这些女孩都这么年轻
And all those piercings?
而且还都有穿孔
I didn't even know you could pierce that.
我甚至都不知道你能在那里穿孔
Well, I guess it would help you find it.
好吧我猜那会方便你导航
I didn't think you liked this stuff.
我不觉得你会喜欢这种东西啊
Maybe there are things about me you don't know.
关于我的资讯里可能有你不知道的
What are you saying?
你说什么