麻烦满屋（2016）

Crowded S01E13

Part 1 June 4, 2021, 9:19 a.m.

你觉得是我们的错啊
Do you think it's our fault?
当然是我们的错
Of course it's our fault.
是我们跟他们结交朋友的把他们娇惯坏了
We made them our friends. We coddled them.
我不觉得我们娇惯他们
I don't think we coddle them.
看看我们现在
Look at us right now.
低声私语为的就是不吵醒我们女儿
We're whispering so as not to wake up our daughter,
她在柜台上断片了
who's passed out on a counter
浑身琴酒气
reeking of gin.
我觉得是朗姆酒
I think it might be rum.
好啊我们就此争论一番好了
Yeah, let's argue about that.
你会相信我曾跟她说过她可以成为总统吗
Can you believe I once told her she could be president?
所有我们跟他们扯的淡给了他们自信
All the crap we told them to give them self-esteem.
我父亲从未给过我自信
My father never gave me self-esteem.
他甚至没说过他爱我
He never even said that he loved me.
看看我我讨厌自己我也过得很好
And look at me; I hate myself, and I'm doing great.
至少他没离开我们我是说
Least he stuck around. I mean,
我嬉皮士妈妈在我7岁那年就跑去修行了
my hippie mom left when I was seven to go live on an ashram.
我现在还不懂修行是什么鬼
I still don't know what that is.
麦克你在里面吗
Mike, you in there?
不我不在
No, I'm not.
看吧我不想他进来这里
See, I don't want him to come in here.
我们的孩子就应该那样对待我们
That's how our kids should feel about us.
噢天啊看看这个喝到断片
Oh, jeez, look at this. Passed out drunk.
这全都是因为你的纵容
It's all because of your permissive...
等一下如果她确实死了请阻止我
Wait, stop me if she's actually dead.
她没事你也不用吼我们
She's fine, and you don't have to yell at us.
我们刚刚才吼了自己
We were just yelling at ourselves.
我只是来道个别的
We're just here to say good-bye.
我和鲍勃正准备回老房♥子过周末
Bob and I are heading out for a weekend at the cabin.
噢
Oh.
干是我妹妹朗达
Shoot, my sister Rhonda.
干♥你♥妹妹朗达吗我来吧
Shoot your sister Rhonda? I'll do it.
别闹了我得去听这个电♥话♥
Stop that. I've got to take this.
你知道不我一直在考虑去那里打猎
You know, I've been thinking about doing some hunting up there.
你来做鹿肉干怎么样
How are you fixed for venison jerky?
设想一下你一块鹿肉干都没给过我
Picture all the venison jerky that you've ever given me.
我却有鹿肉干了
I still have it.
噢鲍勃我去不了了
Oh, Bob, I can't go.
朗达男朋友出轨了
Rhonda's boyfriend cheated on her,
我现在必须得驱车赶到塔科马不让她
and now I've got to drive to Tacoma to keep her
再烧毁他的房♥子
from burning his house down again.
我想你要自己去老房♥子了
I guess you'll just have to go to the cabin without me.
但没有你就没那么浪漫了
But it won't be as romantic without you.
所以还是有一点点浪漫吗
So it'll still be a little romantic?
我的意思是我还是会生起火
I mean, I'll still build a fire
给自己倒一杯酒再用微波炉热一份热口袋
and pour myself a glass of wine, and nuke a Hot Pocket.
我知道如何度过一个人的美好时光
I know how to show myself a good time.
你知道爸爸你不该自己一个人去老房♥子那的
You know, Dad, you shouldn't go to the cabin by yourself.
嗯我刚想起来管♥理♥员♥给我打过电♥话♥
Um... I'm just remembering the caretaker called,
说那里到处爬满蜘蛛
said the place was crawling with spiders.
噢别告诉我这些
Oh, don't tell me that.
我讨厌那些令人毛骨悚然的爬行小杂种
I hate those creepy-crawly little bastards.
噢 4条腿我可以接受 6条好吧你开挂呢［双关 bug也是虫子的意思］
Ooh, four legs I'll give you, six, all right, you're a bug.
8条腿噢那简直就是怪物
Eight legs, ooh, that's a devil creature.
好吧不回老房♥子那
Fine, no cabin.
管♥理♥员♥并没有打电♥话♥来
The caretaker didn't call.
为什么你却劝你♥爸♥爸别回老房♥子那呢
Why did you talk your dad out of going?
因为我们要去啊
Because we're going to the cabin.
就我们俩你和我马上
Just the two of us, you and me, right now.
噢听起来很棒且让我
Oh, that sounds great. Let me just
- 给女儿们留个纸条 - 不不不别留纸条
- leave a note for the girls. - No, no, no, no note.
我和你要去度假
You and I have to get away,
他们要学会照顾自己
and they need to learn to fend for themselves.
啊对噢我同意
Ah, absolutely. I agree.
没有娇惯没有老套的管教
No more coddling, old-school parenting.
今天是我们余下生命的新开始
Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
好吧确切的说余下的每一天
Well, technically every day
都是我们生命的新开始
is the first day of the rest of our lives.
呃你不会整个周末都这样是吧
Eh, you're not gonna be like that all weekend, are you?
- 是的但我也会脱♥光♥光 - 成交
- Yes, but I'll also be naked. - Deal.
早上好斯特拉
Morning, Stell.
哈什么
Huh? What?
婊♥子♥ 我会将你分尸
Bitch, I will cut you.
噢是你啊
Oh, it's you.
早上好
Good morning.
- 那个信封是什么 - 不造
- What's that envelope? - No idea.
亲爱的女儿们别跟你♥爸♥爸说我告诉了你们
"Dear girls, don't tell your father I told you,
但我们周末去度假
"But we've gone away for the weekend.
紧急情况下才能打开这个信封
Open this only if there is an emergency."
好看不起人啊
So insulting,
好像说的没有他们我们就活不过这个周末一样
like we can't handle a weekend without them.
你能去调杯咖啡吗
Can you make some coffee?
我不懂怎么调咖啡
I don't know how to make coffee.
你也不懂调咖啡吗
You don't know how to make coffee?
都是妈妈做的打开信封啦
Mom always does it. Open the envelope.
等一下我们可以直接去星巴克啊
Wait. We could just go to Starbucks.
对噢每次遇事你都能如此从容应对谢伊
Right. You've always been good in a crisis, Shea.
而且爸爸妈妈外出了我们可以着手
Also, with Mom and Dad gone, we can work on,
你懂的行动计划项目
you know, Operation: Project.
他们不在家你说行动计划项目是什么
They're not here. You can say what Operation: Project is.
好吧我们可以着手我们的
All right, we can work on our...
- 噢天啊你听到了吗 - 当然听到了
- Oh, God, did you hear that? - Of course I did.
我要打开信封
I'm opening the envelope.
等等听声音是从地下室传来的
Wait, it sounds like it's coming from the basement.
我们不该去看看吗
Shouldn't we just go check it out?
恐怖电影里那些人被杀的前一秒
What do we always yell at the people in horror movies
我们总是对他们吼什么
right before they get murdered?
不要去探究那些恐怖怪声
"Don't go see what the scary noise is.
杀手就在那里赶紧离开这个房♥子
The killer's in there. Get out of the house."
当然啦你是只会读书的处♥女♥ 死不了
Sure, you're the nerdy virgin who lives in the end,
但我可是性感迷人额头有色字头上的那把刀的女孩
but I'm the sexy, popular girl who gets an ax in the forehead.
- 我不是处♥女♥ - 差不多啦
- I'm not a virgin. - Close enough.
两次不等于没有
Two is not zero.
噢我得马上离开这里到车里再打开信封
Oh, we've got to get out of here. We'll open it in the car.
噢哇这将会非常浪漫
Oh, wow, this is gonna be so romantic.
- 嗯嗯
- Mm-mmm.
- 你想要浪漫 -啊哈
- You want romance? - Uh-huh.
试试这招
Check this out.
喔看看你
Whoo, look at you.
我知道我现在的表现很好不是吗
I know, I'm coming off great right now, aren't I?
你知道我觉得我可以就这样抱你到沙发
You know, I think I can make it all the way to the couch.
- 你可以的老兄 - 好的
- You do it, buddy. - Okay.
- 我们来咯
- And here we are.
噢这是个多么好的主意
Oh, this is such a great idea.
离开女儿们正是我们所需要的
Getting away from the girls is exactly what we needed.
你知道这个周末会是什么样的吗
You know what this weekend's gonna be?
如果我们的女儿不再搬回来我们的生活
What our life was supposed to be if the girls
将会是什么样的呢
- had never moved back.
设想一下
Picture it.
你现在和我一样欲♥火♥燃起了吗
Are you as turned on as I am right now?
甚至比你还燃我觉得我已经硬了
Even more so. I think I'm done.
- 但我会克制的 - 嗯哼
- But I'll rally. - Mm-hmm.
这个周末让我们玩点新花样
This weekend, let's try new things,
性感的或者生日派对之类的
sexy things, birthday things.
你的生日还是我的
Your birthday or mine?
我的请别争
Mine, please.
好吧嗯
All right. Um...
你是个寂寞的伐木男怎么样然后我是
how about you're a lonely woodsman, and I'm...
- 妈妈 - 噢不我不喜欢那样
- Mom. - Oh, no, I don't like that.
不不不不我亲妈在这
No, no, no, no. My mom's here.