麻烦满屋（2016）
Crowded
第一季
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麻烦满屋（2016）
Crowded S01E09
Part 3
June 4, 2021, 9:18 a.m.
我再也听不下去了
I can't listen to this anymore.
咳 等等 现在这个环节最重要
Hey, now, wait! This is the most important part!
如果枪被找回了 给证据室的乔伊打电♥话♥
If that gun is recovered, call Joey in the evidence room
对他说 "掰生姜" 他会处理的
and say, "Ginger snaps." He'll know what to do.
她会同意的
She's going down for this.
这是我的新办公室 太疯狂了
And this is my new office. It's crazy.
不久前我还在卖♥♥汉堡
One day I'm selling burgers,
然后他们让我参加了一个会议
the next they call me in
现在我就成为白领了
for a meeting and now I'm working corporate.
我开了个玩笑说 应该把没挤完的番茄酱包用来做番茄汤
I made a joke about using the remains of ketchup packets
结果现在这是我们准备在第四季度开始的项目了
to make tomato soup, and now it's our big Q4 launch.
长话短说
Anyway, long story short,
你需要份工作 我需要个助理 有兴趣吗
you need a job, and I need an assistant. You interested?
我们会在一起干
Well, it would be the two of us working together.
你会在我之下
Although you would be under me.
听起来是个让人兴奋的职位［双关 体♥位♥］
That sounds like an exciting position.
"我们不尽相同 泰勒' 凯蒂这么说
"'We may have had our differences, Taylor,' said Katy,
但我们有共通之处
'but we'll always have one friend in common.
那就是音乐"
- Music.'"
-我真是太忙了 大家
- It's just a lot, guys.
有个叫飞翔2020的幸运家伙 刚买♥♥了我的私聊
Oh, some lucky dude, FlyGuy2020, just bought a private chat.
等会见哦 朋友们
I'll see you guys in a bit.
老爸
Dad?
我叫飞翔2020
The name's FlyGuy2020.
老爸 你这是在
Dad, you are so invading my
侵犯我的隐私
privacy right now!
那真是太不幸了 从现在起我会全天候守在你的直播前
Too bad. From now on I'm gonna be on your webcam all the time.
你永远也不会知道我什么时候在线或什么时候在看你
And you'll never know when I'm here or when I'm watching you.
-那我不就不能 -正是如此
- But then I won't even be able to... - Exactly.
额呵 太不公平了
Ugh! That is so unfair.
你不能总是指点我该做些什么 我都已经成年了
You can't tell me what to do. I'm an adult.
那么 我也是成年人 所以你也不能告诉我该做些什么
Well, I'm an adult, and you can't tell me what to do.
真是一管子见红啊 老爸 一管子见红啊
Too-chay, Dad, too-chay.
是一针见血
It's "Touché."
行行行 总是一针见谢伊 从来不是斯特拉
Yeah, it's always to Shea, never to Stella.
但也行啊 我可以等你走了
But fine, I can wait you out.
你睡觉可比我早多了
You go to bed hella early.
但我不
But I don't.
老妈
Mom?
斯特拉 我们不在乎如果你做了些愚蠢的事情
Stella, we don't care if you do some stupid stuff,
但有些愚蠢的行为是有后果的
but some stupid things have consequences
将来对你的影响可是很大的
farther into the future than others.
但那是将来啊
But that's the future.
不过是一些没有发生的事情罢了
That's just a bunch of stuff that hasn't happened yet.
再说了 看看人家金·卡戴珊和帕丽斯·希尔顿
Plus, look at Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.
不照样靠在镜头前袒胸露乳赚得盆满钵满［两人因为性♥爱♥录影带而爆红］
They made tons of cash getting naked on camera.
她们是在出名后才这么干的
They did that after they were famous.
你只不过是一个不出名的普通女孩
You're just some anonymous girl.
你知道吗 也许你们是对的
You know what? Maybe you guys are right.
我需要先出名
I need to get famous first,
再做那种事情赚大钱
then do something like this and really make money.
正是 等到你成了当红炸子鸡再说
Exactly. Wait until you're very, very famous.
好的 我会等的
Okay. I'll wait.
我的意思是 本来我就有犹豫
I mean, I was having second thoughts anyway.
在一群男人面前脱♥光♥衣服
I'd hate for taking off my
却是为了工作的的感觉实在是太讨厌了
clothes for a bunch of guys to feel like work.
确实是对你直播的侮辱
That would be a shame.
多谢你们为我和我的将来考虑
Thanks so much for caring about me and my future.
我爱你们
I love you guys.
哦 这要收59.99刀
Oh, and that'll be $59.99.
不过别担心 我已经有你们信♥用♥卡♥信息了
But don't worry, I already have your credit card info.
刚才真是良好家教的典范啊
That was some good parenting.
有吗 我的意思是 要么她最后成功了
Was it? I mean, either she's successful,
搬出了房♥子 录了色情录像带
moves out of the house, and does a sex tape,
要么她一直无所建树 没录色情录像
or she's not successful, never does a sex tape,
但一直和我们住一块儿 总是 我们都是输
but never leaves the house. Either way, we lose.
是我们有出息的女儿
It's from the good one.
我告诉过你别这么说
I told you not to say that.
好吧 她想让我们
Well, she wants us to come
到她的办公室去庆祝另一场升职
to her office to celebrate another promotion.
哇哦 她真是有出息
Wow! She is the good one.
这地方不错 我想这汉堡生意还真是蒸蒸日上啊
This is a nice place. I guess the burger business is boomin'.
可不是吗 我们老美的高品质牛肉
Well, there's a lot of
可是很有赚头的
money to be made in good old American beef.
如果哪天自♥由♥主义者找到了糟蹋汉堡的方法 射了我
If liberals find a way to ruin hamburgers, shoot me.
把这条写在我的清单上
Put that on my list.
你知道吗 鲍勃 我一直在想
You know, Bob, I've been thinking,
如果这真是你想让我做的话 我会做的
and if it's truly what you want me to do, I'll do it.
我会射了你
I'll shoot you.
-你真会为我这么做吗 -是的
- You'd do that for me? - Yeah.
我会抹掉序列号♥
I'll file away the serial number,
设计我的姐姐 整个计划都听你的
set my sister up, the whole plan.
我可不能抛弃一个愿意射我的女人
Well, I can't abandon a woman who's willing to shoot me.
我这么做的唯一初衷
The only reason I did this in the first place
是因为我不想成为你的负担
was because I don't want to be a burden to you.
哦 鲍勃
Oh, Bob.
你已经是我的负担了
You're already a burden to me.
但我就爱这份负担 而且我愿意一直背着它直到我不行
But I love that burden, and I want to carry it as long as I can.
我会确保它实现的
I'm gonna make sure of it.
诡异故事的圆♥满♥结局
Nice ending to a weird story.
这是谁
Who am I talking to?
杰里·史蒂文斯 史蒂文斯肉业的
Jerry Stevens, Stevens Meats.
有三个孩子 在欧克波奇湖上有个木屋 勇士队脑残粉
Three kids, cabin on Lake Okoboji, big Warriors fan.
杰里 我的好兄弟 勇士队最近怎么样
Jerry, my man. How about those Warriors?
好的 听着 关于你的香肠饼的涨价
Okay, listen, about this price rise on your sausage patties,
我能理解 但是 杰里 至少先要带我吃顿晚餐
I get it, but, Jerry, at least take me to dinner
在你上我之前 对吗
before you me, am I right?
说真的 解决这个问题
Seriously, though, fix this
否则我会当着你家人的面像个婊♥子♥一样狂扇你巴掌
or I'll bitch slap you in front of your family.
顺便 向你的孩子问好
Love to the kids, by the way.
-哇哦 真是刮目相看 -可能有点吓人
- Wow. That was impressive. - Maybe even a little scary.
啊 跟我们说说这个升职
Ah, tell us about this new promotion.
伊森 告诉他们
Ethan, hit them with it.
谢伊和楼上的大头头开了个会
Shea had a meeting with the big boys upstairs.
她现在可是初级副总 负责掌管所有的
She's now Junior VP in charge of all
-早餐肉类 -哦
- breakfast meats. - Ooh.
而且他们说了 五年后
And they said five years from now,
她可能会掌管整个西部地区哦
she could be in charge of the whole western region.
-哦 -正是太棒了
- Ooh. - That's great.
我觉得我们都需要庆祝一番
I thought we could all celebrate.
我的意思是 现在某地肯定是下午5点了 对吧
I mean, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, am I right?
我可不介意来一杯
I wouldn't mind wetting my beak.
-哦 我的天 -咋了
- Oh, my gosh. - What is it?
一封来自天体物理实验室的邮件
It's an email from the astrophysics lab.
我的实习申请通过了
I got the internship!
我将要去研究宇宙起源了
I'm gonna be studying the origins of the universe.
-哇 -哦 真是太棒了
- Aww! - Oh, that's great!
但我得拒绝 是吧
But I have to say no, right?
我是说 这可是3年没有报酬的承诺啊
I mean, it's a three-year commitment with no pay,
而这个 我是说 这可会是大西部啊
and this, I mean, this could be the western region.
虽然这不是我的梦想 但也许这是我命中注定的呢
Even though it's not my dream, maybe it's where I'm meant to be.
宝贝 我觉得你应该接受这份实习
Honey, I think you should take the internship.
你妈妈说的对 我
Your mother's right. I
通常会嘲笑那些追求梦想的人 但 额
usually scoff at dream-followin', but, er...
你有一个值得追求的梦想
you've got a dream worth followin'.
我俩都有 是吧 老爸老妈
We both do. Right, Mom and Dad?
当然
Sure.
我会的 我会接受的
I'll do it. I'm gonna take it.
哦 天啊 我简直不敢相信
Oh, my God. I can't believe I
我差点就要在讨论西红柿和莴苣比例中
was this close to spending the rest of my life
麻烦满屋（2016）
Crowded
剧集 | 麻烦满屋（2016） | 导航列表