麻烦满屋（2016）

Crowded S01E11

Part 1 June 4, 2021, 9:19 a.m.

嘿亲爱的怎么了
Hey, honey. What's up?
我在给古奇节目打电♥话♥
I'm on with The Gooch.
天呐我喜欢古奇节目
Oh, I love The Gooch!
问我一个珍珠果酱乐队［该乐队真实存在］的冷门问题吧我
Give me a Pearl Jam trivia question. I...
你在你可是在跟西雅图头号♥珍珠果酱乐队粉丝说话呢
You're... you're talking to Seattle's number one Pearl Jam fan.
如果你不信我
If you don't believe me,
可以去随便去问我管理的四个留言板上的人
ask any one of the four message boards I moderate.
迈克我弄丢了你的钉耙我能再借一个吗
Mike, I lost your rake. Can I borrow another one?
他在给古奇节目打电♥话♥
He's on with The Gooch!
苍天啊我爱死古奇节目了
Ooh, I love The Gooch.
他说＂你被古奇到了＂的时候我最喜欢了是吧
I love it when he says, "You got Gooched," Eh?
嘘嘘小点声说出两个前珍珠果酱乐队鼓手的名字
Shh, shh, shh. Name two ex-Pearl Jam drummers.
我说四个怎么样呃戴夫克鲁森马特张伯伦
How about four? Ah, Dave Krusen, Matt Chamberlain,
戴夫阿布鲁泽斯杰克爱恩斯砰
Dave Abbruzzese, Jack Irons. Slam!
- 我赢了我赢了我要去看珍珠果酱乐队了 - 天呐
- I won? I won! I'm going to Pearl Jam! - Oh!
真是太棒了
That's awesome.
是的现在我的屋子里都是人
Yeah, I'm in a room full of people.
他要我把收音机打开
He wants me to turn the radio up.
那么来电听众你开心吗
So, caller, are you happy?
- 欣喜若狂 - 很好
- Ecstatic. - That's great.
这么说吧如果这不是本周恶作剧的话肯定是很棒的
Well, it would be great if this weren't The Prank of the Week!
我们其实并没有珍珠果酱乐队的门票
We don't really have Pearl Jam tickets.
你被古奇到了
You just got Gooched.
太好笑了那就是我刚刚说的
Ha-hah! That's what I was talking about.
好吧真是官方
Well, it's official.
上帝是不存在的
There is no God.
爸爸怎么了谁挂了吗
What's wrong with Dad? Did someone die?
某种程度上来说是的
In a way, yes.
他刚刚失去了珍珠果酱乐队的门票
He just lost out on Pearl Jam Tickets.
哦我可以帮你拿到门票
Oh, I can get you those.
斯特拉你最好不是在开玩笑这句话同样适用于你们所有人
Stella, you better not be joking, and that goes for all of you.
现在别拿我开玩笑
Do not with me right now.
我是认真的爸爸
I'm serious, Dad.
我的新男友海施泰格［＃］他是激流乐队的鼓手
My new boyfriend, Hashtag, he's the drummer of Riptide,
他们是珍珠果酱乐队的暖场嘉宾［外国演唱会一般有一两个暖场嘉宾表演后才轮到主打歌♥手上场］
They're the band that's opening for Pearl Jam.
上帝真的存在并且热爱摇滚
There is a God, and He rocks.
真是太棒了你能给谢伊再拿张票吗
That is awesome. Can you get another ticket for Shea?
这不能是一件你和我的事吗
Can't it be just a you and me thing?
这可以成为一场爸爸和斯特拉的约会就像我小时候那样
It could be a Daddy-Stella date like when I was little.
你知道吗我们会坐着我的直升机飞到那里
You know what? We'll fly there in my chopper
就像我们从前那样
just like we did in the old days.
啊我爱你斯特拉
Ah! I love you, Stella.
我现在热爱你们所有人
I love all of you right now.
爸
Dad...
你的眼睛一直都是这样蔚蓝吗
have your eyes always been so blue?
它们是绿色的但是谢谢
They're green, but thank you.
早安大家
Good morning, all.
谢伊你还穿着昨晚穿的那套衣服吗
Shea, are you wearing the same thing you wore last night?
是哒而我们都知道这暗示着什么［在别人家过夜］
I am. And we all know what that indicates.
我的天呐你真是恬不知耻那是我的专利
Oh, my God. You're doing the walk of shame. That's my thing.
我难道是在为自己恬不知耻骄傲吗我不这么觉得
Is it a walk of shame if I'm proud of it? I think not.
我现在只想着什么时候能给他发短♥信♥
All I can think of now is when can I text him?
或者我该不该等他给我发短♥信♥呢
Or should I wait for him to text me?
怎样才是合适的做♥爱♥后礼仪
What's the proper postcoital protocol?
你知道吗这也不是什么大事不管怎么说
You know what? No biggie. Whatever.
谁来告诉我该怎么做
Somebody tell me what to do.
别给他发短♥信♥
Do not text him.
- 你看起来会比较急切 - 他们说得对
- You'll look desperate. - They're right.
你需要分散注意力
You need a distraction.
你应该加入我的扑克牌游戏
You should come to my poker game.
只有我和其他几个保安
It's just me and a few other guards.
谢谢祖母
Thanks, Grandma.
好吧你们这些女性在
Well, while you hens are
牌上咯咯叫的时候我会在射击场的
clucking over the cards, I'll be at the gun range.
我得时刻保持警惕
I gotta stay sharp in
以防他们最后一个案子的时候叫我回去
case they call me back in for one last case.
哦那是一个妄想老男人的案子吗
Oh, would that be the case of the delusional old man?
你知道的我还是个孩子的时候也射击过
You know, I used to shoot when I was a kid.
和我爸一起出去一起回来
Going out back with my Pa.
用易拉罐和瓶子当靶子练习
Target practice with cans and bottles.
生锈的埃尔卡米诺牌汽车
The rusted out El Camino,
还有其他生锈的埃尔卡米诺牌汽车
the other rusted out El Camino.
我以前不知道你会射击呀
I didn't know you could shoot.
有一次我还在一辆飞驰的拖拉机上射中了一只负鼠呢
Once shot a possum without even slowing the tractor down.
我特别喜欢妈妈集齐《鸭子王朝》的时候
I love when Mom gets all "Duck Dynasty."
嘿我为何不与你同去呢鲍勃
Hey, why don't I come with you, Bob?
呃我喜欢一个人射击玛蒂娜
Ah, I like to shoot alone, Martina.
是嘛我明白的
Yeah, I understand.
我是说哪个男人喜欢被一个女人抢了风头
I mean, what guy likes being shown up by a woman?
激将法是吗
Passive aggressive challenge, eh?
我接受了
Accepted.
好了我找到了我最喜欢的
All right, I found my favorite
珍珠果酱乐队T恤袜子平角内♥裤♥
Pearl Jam T-shirt, socks, boxer shorts...
我那件十号♥俱乐部［珍珠果酱乐队的粉丝团名称］卫衣在哪里
Where is my Ten Club hoodie?
啊在你的珍珠睡衣旁边的抽屉里
Ah, it's in the drawer next to your Pearl Jammies.
睡衣如何能够既充斥着强劲的摇滚
How could jammies that rock so hard...
而又那样柔软［hard也有坚硬的意思和soft对比］
be so soft?
听着亲爱的我知道你现在
Look, honey, I know you're
因为要看表演而非常激动但是事实是
excited about the show, but the thing is...
别说完这句话玛蒂娜
Don't finish that sentence, Martina.
我知道无论你要说什么
I know that whatever you're about to say
肯定是某些会毁掉我对演唱会乐趣的东西
is somehow going to ruin my enjoyment of this concert.
但是我必须说出来
But I have to say it.
- 忍♥住 - 但是这很重要
- Resist. - But it's important.
斗争吧与之斗争吧
Fight it. Fight it!
我谷歌♥了一下斯特拉的男友
I Googled Stella's boyfriend,
海施泰格这是看看他长什么样
Hashtag, just to see what he looked like,
结果出现了一个博客的链接
and there was a link to a blog,
链接非常隐秘这样粉丝们就不会知道
and it's all very hush-hush so the fans won't know,
但是海施泰格已经结婚了
but Hashtag's married.
啊你和那条谷歌♥真是天呐
Ugh! You and that Google! Geez.
你觉得斯特拉知道吗
You think Stella knows?
不我很确定她不知道
No. I'm sure she doesn't.
我是说斯特拉虽然做了很多坏事
I mean, Stella does a lot of bad things,
但是我不觉得她会想毁掉一个婚姻
but I don't think she would want to ruin a marriage.
我们得告诉她
We have to tell her.
好了现在的情况是这样
All right, in situations like this,
我要问自己艾何为
I like to ask myself: W.W.E.V.D?
埃迪维德［珍珠果酱乐队的主唱和吉他］会怎么做
What would Eddie Vedder do?
他有没有可能跟他的女儿坐下来然后展开对话
Any chance he'd sit down with his daughter and open a dialogue?
不他会拿起他的斧子然后
No, he'd grab his ax and head
和冲浪之神莱尔德汉密尔顿一起扭头就去东爪哇
off to East Java with surf god Laird Hamilton;
顺便参加点极好的重要活动
drop in on some major tubular action.
这对我们有什么帮助吗
And how does that help us?
没有只是想想就觉得有意思
It doesn't. It's just fun to think about.
迈克别神游了
Mike, come back.
好吧好吧你知道吗我现在就去告诉她
Okay, fine. You know what? I'm gonna tell her.
她会跟海施泰格分手而我去不了演唱会
She'll break up with Hashtag, and I won't go to the concert.
而这是正确的做法我们都会开心的
And it's the right thing to do, and we'll all be happy.
所以如果你允许的话
So if you'll excuse me,
我要穿着我的珍珠睡衣忧伤地小憩一会儿了
I'm gonna take a sad nap in my Pearl Jammies.
这么说你与他共度了昨晚
So, you spent last night with him,
而他一直都没给你发短♥信♥
and he still hasn't texted you?
- 没有 - 电♥话♥呢
- No. - Called you?
- 没有 -鲜花呢
- No. - Sent flowers?
鲜花男人从不在你第一次跟他们
Flowers? Guys don't send flowers
睡了之后给你送花
after the first time you sleep with them.
如果你做的对他们会送的
They do if you're doing it right.
哦我做的对啊
Oh, I did it right.
我很确定
I'm pretty sure.