麻烦满屋（2016）

Crowded S01E08

Part 4 June 4, 2021, 9:18 a.m.

好吧这结果比我预想的要好多了
Well, that went a lot better than I thought.
有吗
It did?
其实之前
Well, earlier today,
当我骗你们我是麦克母亲的时候
when I was lying to you about being Mike's mother
并脑补了下这会怎么收场
and picturing how all this would end,
我想的可比这糟多了
I pictured a lot worse.
我觉得我们真的躲过了一劫
I really think we dodged a bullet.
我我还脑补了枪林弹雨呢
I-I pictured bullets.
接下来我们把时间交给西雅图最受欢迎的
And now it's time for Seattle's favorite,
所向披靡的飞天双雄麦克和鲍勃
irrepressible Pair in the Air, Mike and Bob.
谁知道他们接下来
Who knows what crazy things
会说些什么雷人的东西呢
they'll say next?
有意思的是我们现在有7秒延时消音了哦
And fun fact... we now do have a 7-second delay.
朋友们我已经觉得好好笑了
Guys, I'm laughing already.
额伙计们我们已经在直播了
Uh, guys, we're on the air.
额好吧
Uh, right.
我们可以看到一辆被撞弯的卡车
We have got a jackknifed truck
在116出口向北5英里处
on the northbound 5 at exit 166.
大家可以从赛内加街道驶出或者换道第7大道
So get off at Seneca Street or take 7th to...
你怎么能背着我打电♥话♥给她
How the hell could you call her without telling me?
-因为我想啊 -在她对我们做出那种事后
- 'Cause I wanted to. - After what she did to us?
我只听过你的一面之词
I've only heard one side of the story.
是啊听我的就对了
Yeah, the right side.
伙计们说好的交通趣闻呢
Guys? The funny traffic?
哦闭上你的臭嘴假发佬
Oh, shove it up your ass, hairpiece.
听着我只是想她了
Look, I just missed her.
我只是想要我的生活中有个母亲
I just miss having a mother in my life.
她也抛弃了我你知道吗
She left me too, you know.
知道但我当时还只是个孩子
Yeah, but I was just a kid.
某一天回家她就不见了
Come home one day, and she's gone.
还记得你当时跟我说了什么吗 “不许哭”
And you know what you told me? "Don't cry."
你怎么忍♥心告诉一个刚失去母亲的
How could you tell a 7-year-old boy
7岁男孩不许哭
who just lost his mother not to cry?
因为我知道如果你哭了我也会崩溃的
Because I knew if you cried, I would fall apart,
我不想让你看到我那个样子
and I didn't want you to see that,
因为
because...
男儿有泪不轻弹
Men don't cry.
迎着困难就是干
They soldier on.
你知道吗你说得对
You know, you're right.
即使是艰难的时候我们都坚持过来了
We hold it together, even when it's difficult.
她不应该就这样抛弃你
She shouldn't have left you.
她也不该就这样抛弃你老爸
She shouldn't have left you either, Pop.
我尽自己最大的努力为你又当爹又当妈
I really tried to be enough for you.
我都知道爸爸
I know you did, Dad.
吉姆海蒂镜头交给你们了
Jim, Heidi, back to you.
哦我们已经切到广♥告♥了
Oh, we cut to commercial.
我在想这会不会是个坏事
I wonder if that's a bad thing.
怎么可能我们可是真情实感啊
No way. We got real there.
那么真实真诚
It was raw, honest.
我们的粉丝是爱我们的
Our fans love us.
我觉得我们应该会被
I think we're gonna be just...
开除了我们被开除了
Fired. We got fired.
是啊
Yeah.
显然直播大男人哭鼻子
Apparently, grown men crying on the air
不符合年轻男性的收视品味
doesn't test well with the young male demo.
可不是推特上到处都是说这档事儿的
Yeah, it's all over Twitter...
话题飞天娘炮
# Sky Pussies.
哦这个好笑
Oh, this one's funny.
这人说你们 “飞天娘炮回家玩蛋”
This guy says you should "Grow a pair in the air."
转推来一发
Retweet.
我之前从没见你哭过诶爷爷
I've never seen you cry before, Grandpa.
还有我你也没见过我哭过吧
And me. You never saw me cry before.
你们肯定都惊呆了
That must have been a big shock.
好吧那你怎么解释纽约大都会队输了
Yes, you were positively dry-eyed
世界职业棒球大赛时那么明显的泪眼
when the Mets lost the World Series.
两局比赛两局我们都有领先优势到最终局
Two games. Two games we had leads going into the 9th,
甚至快到第八局的时候还有领先
one going into the 8th,
结果柯林斯非要留着哈维在场上
and then Collins had to leave Harvey in.
我简直是
I just...
好吧我现在不想谈这些
Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.
总之我还以为女人会喜欢哭鼻子的男人呢
Anyway, I thought women liked it when men cry.
呵呵
Eh...
我看《囤积癖》就哭了呢
I cried on "Hoarders."
不是显摆那可是收视率第二高的一集哦
Second-highest-rated episode... just saying.
我正在努力想
I'm trying to think
一种最不无礼的方式问下
of the least offensive way to ask,
“为啥她还在这里”
"Why is she still here?"
她喜欢我们
She likes us.
我们也喜欢她
And we like her.
她就是个非常酷的养猫小老太太
She's just a cool little cat lady
虽然我肯定不会变成她那样子
that I'll never turn into.
宝贝我真的很抱歉
Honey, I am so sorry.
我们不该背着你这么做
We should not have done this behind your back.
没关系啦
It's all right.
你本意是好的
Your heart was in the right place,
我爱你所做的一切
and I love you all for that.
我也爱你
I love you too.
麦克我很抱歉我假冒
Mike, I'm sorry I pretended
你的妈妈
to be your mother,
虽然我不知道为什么你的生母抛弃了你
and I don't know why your real mom left,
但我愿意做任何事情来成为这个家的一部分
because I would do anything to be part of this family.
哇哦
Aww.
谢谢
Thank you...
冒牌琳达
Fake Linda.
事实上我名字就叫琳达
My name is actually Linda.
-真的吗 -不是
- Is it? - No.
好吧听着也许这是个信♥号♥♥告诉我不该
Well, look, maybe this is a sign I shouldn't try
去找我的生母我应该把精力放在
to find my real mom and I should just concentrate
那些真正愿意成为我的家庭一员的人的身上
on the people who actually want to be a part of my family.
比如我
Like me.
当然为啥不呢
Sure, why not?
忘了你妈妈吧麦克
Forget your mother, Mike.
那女人除了麻烦啥都不是
That woman is nothing but trouble.
嘿老妈
Hey, Mom.
是我额麦克你的儿子
It's, uh, Mike, your son.
我知道额好久不见了也许过了太久了
It's, uh, been a long time, maybe too long a time.
好吧如果你听到了这条信息额给我回个电♥话♥
So, if you get this, uh, please give me a call.