无名之辈（2023）

Bupkis S01E05

Part 3 May 6, 2023, 5:47 p.m.

他妈的搞笑！
Fuckin' hilarious!
嘿。
Hey.
你用树叶做什麽？
What are you doin' with the leaves?
怎麽样？
How's it going?
嘿嘿,看,我知道,嗯...
Hey, look, I know, um...
我知道你可能有一段时间见不到妈了,呃,
I know you might not be seeing your mom for a little bit, uh,
而且一定很伤心。
and that it must be really sad.
我可以告诉你,我有点知道那是什麽感觉。
And I can tell you, I kind of know what that's like.
你知道,一切都会好起来的。
And just so you know, it's gonna be all right.
我的意思是,你知道,看看我的结果,对吧？
I mean, you know, look how I turned out, right?
没有冒犯,但你似乎有很多问题。
No offense, but you seem like you have a lot of problems.
好。
Okay.
你为什麽不吃你的Dippin' Dots,好吗？
Why don't you eat your Dippin' Dots, all right?
我妈妈真的没那麽好。
My mom's really not that great.
我有点讨厌和她住在一起。
I kind of hated living with her.
[饰演罗德尼·丹格菲尔德]跟我说说吧,好吗？
[as Rodney Dangerfield] Tell me about it, okay?
什麽？
What's that?
这是罗德尼·丹格菲尔德。-谁？
It's Rodney Dangerfield. - Who?
你不认识罗德尼·丹格菲尔德吗？
You don't know Rodney Dangerfield?
嘿,我们都要躺下了。
Hey, we're all gonna get laid.
你还记得那个人吗？他是一个喜剧演员。
You remember that guy? He's a comedian.
谁是你最喜欢的喜剧演员？
Who's your favorite comedian?
艾迪生·雷。
Addison Rae.
耶稣。他妈的。
Jesus. Fuck.
看,安娜,你知道,我明白了。
Look, Anna, you know, I get it.
和妈住在一起可能会很糟糕,你知道吗？
Living with your mom could suck, you know?
你不和妈住在一起吗？
Don't you live with your mom?
嘿,她和我住在一起,好吗？
Hey, she lives with me, okay?
看,我付了房♥贷。
Look, I pay the mortgage.
好吧？
All right?
我讨厌我的生活。
I hate my life.
嘿。
Hey.
嘿,看着我。别这麽说。
Hey, look at me. Don't say that.
不要说你讨厌你的生活,好吗？
Don't say you hate your life, okay?
当你还是个孩子的时候,生活真的很艰难。
Life is just really tough when you're a kid.
没有人告诉你,但作为一个孩子很糟糕。
Nobody tells you that, but being a kid sucks.
这真的很令人困惑,你知道吗？
It's really confusing, you know?
你可能会看到孩子和他们的父母在一起,
And you might see kids with their parents together,
你认为他们过着幸福的生活和一切。
and you think they have a happy life and everything.
是的,他们现在这样做,但你知道吗？
And yeah, they do right now, but you know what?
高中毕业后它会失败。
It's gonna fizzle out after high school.
他们都会在大学里吸食海♥洛♥因♥。
They're all gonna do heroin in college.
但不是你。不是你。
But not you. Not you.
这是你的起源故事。
This is your origin story.
你是一个超级英雄。你是一个战士。
You're a superhero. You are a warrior.
我要叫你谢娜。
I'm gonna call you Xena.
你是战士公主谢娜。
You are Xena the Warrior Princess.
你会弄清楚的。
You'll figure it out.
那麽,你现在无法控制的事情是什麽？
So what you can't control things right now?
没关係。你还是个孩子。你不应该
That's fine. You're a kid. You're not supposed
能够弄清楚如何控制事物。
to be able to figure out how to control things.
但你可以控制什麽让你快乐,
But you can control what makes you happy,
你生活中拥有的人。
who you have in your life.
你喜欢做什麽？你有爱好吗？
What do you like to do? Do you have hobbies?
你有朋友吗？你一定有很多朋友。
Do you have any friends? You must have tons of friends.
你没有朋友吗？
You don't have any friends?
加油。我不买♥♥那个。
Come on. I don't buy that.
好吧,好吧,你现在有两个。怎麽样？
Okay, well, you have two now. How about that?
我和妮基会成为你的朋友。
Me and Nikki'll be your friends.
这很酷吗？你想成为我们的朋友吗？
Is that cool? You wanna be our friend?
你想成为我们帮派的一员吗？
You wanna be part of our gang?
是的。
Yeah.
是的？好吧,我的G。
Yeah? All right, my G.
吃完你的霜淇淋,我们去游乐设施,好吗？
Finish your ice cream and we'll go on some rides, okay?
我看到你和安娜说话。
I saw you talking to Anna.
那真的很甜蜜。
That was really sweet.
是的,她真的很可爱。
Yeah, she's really sweet.
只是——我感觉很糟糕,你知道吗？
And just--I feel bad, you know?
她,就像,一个孩子。那狗屎很烂。
She's, like, a kid. That shit sucks.
我只是——我什至不知道
I just--I don't even know
如果她玩得开心,你知道吗？
if she's having a good time, you know?
不,她玩得很开心。
No, she's having a very fun time.
你其实,就像,出奇的好
You're actually, like, surprisingly good
在这整个父母的事情上。
at this whole parent thing.
真？-是的。
Really? - Yeah.
我的意思是,这可能是因为你情绪发育迟缓,
I mean, it's probably 'cause you're so emotionally stunted,
但。。。
but...
我希望一个高大强壮的男人能给我赢得一隻泰迪熊。
I wish a big, strong man would win me a teddy bear.
你和我两个,亲爱的。
You and me both, sweetheart.
哼？
Huh?
我说,三个球5美元,
I said, three balls for $5,
12 对 10。
12 for 10.
嘿嘿,有没有可能只是,
Hey, would it be possible to just,
不知道,买♥♥一隻熊？
I don't know, buy one of the bears?
哦,你是那些“我能买♥♥多少钱”的人之一。
Oh, you're one of those "how much can I buy it for" guys.
你这辈子从来没有赚过他妈的东西。
Never earned a fucking thing in your life.
什麽？- 熊一文不值。
What? - The bear's worth nothing.
赢得熊的胜利和兴奋——
The victory and excitement of winning the bear--
无价的。
priceless.
这些熊一直在这些椽子上
These bears have been in these rafters
20年。
for 20 years.
20.
20.
加油。不要成为猫。
Come on. Don't be a pussy.
他妈的...
Fuckin'...
G音怎麽样,嗯？
How's a G sound, huh?
G 听起来很棒。-我们走吧。
A G sounds great. - Let's go.
他妈的。现在我们他妈的在说话。
Fuck. Now we're fuckin' talking.
该死！-哦,我的上帝！
Oh, shit! - Oh, my God!
喔！-他妈的！
Whoo! - Fuck!
忘了把瓶子喷下来。
Forgot to spray the bottles down.
什麽？-什麽？
What? - What?
哦,我的上帝。-搞什麽？
Oh, my God. - What the fuck?
搞什麽？-什麽？
What the fuck? - What?
哇！嘿嘿！
Whoa! Hey, hey!
哦,伙计们,对不起。
Oh, guys, I'm sorry.
我只是在浴室裡做一些施尼夫。
I was just in the bathroom doing some schneef.
好吧。来吧。
All right. Here we go.
瓶子放下。三个球 5 美元。
Bottle down. Three balls for $5.
好吧？- 那傢伙...
All right? - The guy...
还有一个人。
There was another guy.
听着,忘了。
Listen, forget about that.
我可以花20美元给你熊。
I can give you the bear for $20.
怎麽会『打一些施耐庵？
How 'bout some schneef?
施尼夫是 20 美元。
It's $20 for schneef.
我可以把施尼夫放在熊身上。40美元。
I can put the schneef in the bear. $40.
那你说呢？
So what do you say?
你想要装满施尼夫的熊吗？
You want the schneef-filled bear?
是的。
Yeah.
我可以来吗？两者:没有。
Can I come? both: No.
我太过分了？
I went too far?
一点点,是的。-是的？好吧。
A little bit, yeah. - Yeah? All right.
拿走他妈的熊。-谢谢。
Take the fuckin' bear. - Thanks.
滚开。
Fuck off.
谢谢。
Thank you.
所以我在想,为什麽要冒险呢？
So I was thinking, why risk it?
当我已经知道时,为什麽要掷骰子
Why roll the dice when I already know
婴儿想要的最好的子♥宫♥？
the best womb a baby could want?
是的。我的意思是,快速提问。
Yeah. I mean, quick question.
彼特知道你在这裡吗？
Does Pete know that you're here?
我的意思是,我们很久以前就分手了。
I mean, we broke up a really long time ago.