无名之辈（2023）

我们只是,就像,在路上超级忙。
We've just been, like, super busy on the road.
而且,嗯,是的,我只是——
And, um, yeah, I was just--
那天是我女朋友的生日,所以——
it was, like, my girlfriend's birthday, so--
哦,好像自从你开始和她约会以来,
Oh, it seems like ever since you started dating her,
你已经分心了。
you've been distracted.
就像,六年了。
It's been like, six years.
请记住,埃文,没有什麽比家庭更重要。
Just remember, Evan, nothing is as important as family.
是的。嘿,嗯,艾米,我想我是——
Yeah. Hey, um, Amy, I think I'm--
我准备好了。比如,我——
I'm ready. Like, I--
我想我要向Lizzie求婚。
I think I'm gonna propose to Lizzie.
不,我是说我们的家人。
No, I meant our family.
你知道,我认为你是其中的一部分。
You know, which I consider you a part of.
你想订婚吗？
You wanna get engaged?
彼得订婚过一次。
Peter was engaged once.
我不知道你是否听说过结果如何。
I don't know if you heard about how that turned out.
你想要一首关于你的歌♥吗？
Do you want a song written about you?
最糟糕的是,我喜欢这首歌♥,你知道吗？
And the worst part is, I like the song, you know?
它就像耳虫一样。它有一个非常吸引人的钩子。
It's like an earworm. It's got a very catchy hook.
无论如何,作为家庭的一员,
Anyway, as a part of the family,
我希望你认真对待你的工作。
I expect you to take your job seriously.
哦,我——我真的很认真。
Oh, I--I take it really seriously.
我的意思是,我真的整夜都在睡觉
I mean, I was literally up all night
一遍又一遍地记下愚蠢的照片。
taking down the stupid picture, like, over and over again.
什麽画面？
What picture?
你可以这样看。
You could look at it like this.
你就像汤姆索亚去看他自己的葬礼,对吧？
You're like Tom Sawyer getting to see his own funeral, right?
“因为我想像很多 - 很多老朋友
'Cause I imagine a lot of-- a lot of old friends
伸出手,他们很高兴看到
reached out, and they were happy to see
你还活着。
that you were alive.
所以那感觉一定很好,对吧？
So that must have felt good, right?
不,不是真的。
No. Not really.
我的意思是,这太可怕了。
I mean, it was awful.
就像,我妈妈他妈的惊恐发作了。
Like, my mom had a full fuckin' panic attack.
哎呀。我很遗憾听到这个消息。
Oof. I'm sorry to hear that.
罗西博士,你能想像自己是我的妈妈吗？
Dr. Rossi, can you imagine being my mom?
你发现你的儿子死了,然后你上网了
You find out your son dies, and then you go online
你看了新闻,这是他们使用的图片？
and you read the news, and this is the picture they use?
哼？看啊。
Huh? Look at that.
像个白♥痴♥一样眯着眼睛。
Squinting like an idiot.
对,但是彼特,
Right, but Pete,
这真的不是关于照片的,对吧？
this isn't really about the photograph, right?
这是关于对局势缺乏控制。
This is about a lack of control over the situation.
我真的他妈的对我无法控制的事情生气。
I get really fuckin' mad at things I can't control.
我感到不安,因为,你知道,我努力做好事。
I get upset 'cause, you know, I try to do nice things.
比如,我做气候变化的事情,
Like, I do a climate change thing,
我想感觉良好。
and I wanna feel good.
然后网上的人就像,
And then people online are just like,
“哦,彼特是个可乐头。彼特在喝可乐。
"Oh, Pete's a cokehead. Pete's on coke."
你知道,因为当我紧张时,我会移♥动♥我的下巴。
You know, 'cause I move my jaw when I get nervous.
我什至没有喝可乐,你知道吗？
And I wasn't even on coke, you know?
这就是我如此沮丧的原因。
That's why I get so upset.
如果我在喝可乐,我会说,哇,干得好。
If I was on coke, I'd be like, wow, good job.
你——好眼力,你知道吗？
You--good eye, you know?
但我没有喝可乐,你知道我在说什麽吗？
But I wasn't on coke, you know what I'm saying?
呃,对。但是彼特,你在喝可乐吗？
Uh, right. But Pete, are you on coke?
N-现在？不。
N-now? No.
比如,如果你来找我,「哟,你——你做可乐吗？
Like, if you came to me like, "Yo, did you--do you do coke?"
我会说,不。但就像,
I'd be like, no. But like,
如果有人说,「你想做一个颠簸？
if someone's like, "You wanna do a bump?"
我会说,是的。-好的 好的。
I'd be like, yeah. - Okay, okay.
我没有服用海♥洛♥因♥... - 好的。
I am not on cocaine... - Okay.
马上。
Right now.
好吧,只要你现在不在上面。
okay, as long as you're not on it now.
还是太多了。
Or too much.
嗯，皮特，好像，看 --
Well, Pete, like, look--
人们会攻击公众人物。
People are gonna attack public figures.
你知道他们是。
You know that they are.
他们不会停下来的,对吧？
They're not gonna stop, right?
而且你不会过着平静的生活,是吗？
And you don't lead a quiet life, do you?
我,就像,一个敏感的人。
I'm, like, a sensitive guy.
我告诉人们我有多敏感
And I've told people how sensitive I am
以及我所挣扎的,
and what I struggle with,
然而,他们仍然和我做♥爱♥,
and yet, they still fuck with me,
我不明白,你知道吗？
and I don't get it, you know?
这是——对不起,伙计。
It's--I'm sorry, man.
这是愚蠢的。- 不,这并不愚蠢。
This is stupid. - No, it's not stupid.
我的建议？
My advice?
停止积极地寻找让你心烦意乱的事情。
Stop actively looking for things to upset you.
如果你打算继续上网
If you're gonna keep going online
只是为了为自己感到难过,
just to feel sorry for yourself,
那是谁的问题,彼特？
then whose problem is that, Pete?
那是你的问题,好吗？
That's your problem, all right?
不要为此责怪别人。
Don't blame other people for that.
控制你的生活。
Take some control over your life.
是的。
Yeah.
是的,控制。只是不要上网。
Yeah, take control. Just don't go on the Internet.
不要看图片。去他妈的图片。
Don't look at the picture. Fuck the picture.
只是假装照片不存在。
Just pretend the photo doesn't exist.
谢谢,罗西博士。
Thanks, Dr. Rossi.
很高兴看到你微笑,朋友。
Nice to see you smiling, pal.
这让我很开心。
That makes me happy.
我把你写在这裡,朋友。
I got you penciled in here, pal.
下周见,伙计。
See you next week, buddy.
我想主修人造肉。
I want to major in artificial meat.
但不是,就像它的化学一样,
But not, like, the chemistry of it,
但是,就像它的行销一样。
but, like, the marketing of it.
就像,看这个。
Like, watch this.
不信的汉堡。
The Unbelievaburger.
是的。
Yeah.
你们很擅长电脑,对吧？
You guys are good with computers, right?
是的,我猜。
Yeah, I guess.
你如何找出某人在线？
How do you find out who somebody is online?
你喜欢,跟踪他们的IP位址或其他什麽？
Do you like, track their IP address or something?
哦,你不需要做任何中♥央♥情报局的狗屎。
Oh, you don't need to do any of that CIA shit.
大多数人对不同的网站使用相同的使用者名。
Most people use the same username for different sites.
所以有时候你可以,比如,跟着小路走。
So sometimes you can just, like, follow the trail.
好吧,你能帮我找到ImAScatMan76吗？
All right, can you help me find ImAScatMan76?
这就是它的全部意义,彼得。
This is what it's all about, Peter.
看看这有多好,是吧？
Look how nice this is, huh?
全世界的其他一切都是胡说八道。
Everything else in the whole world is bullshit.
真的很好。谢谢你把我带到这裡。
It's really nice. Thanks for bringing me out here.
你不应该在这裡吸烟。
You're not supposed to smoke here.
什麽？
What?
你不应该在这裡吸烟。
You're not supposed to smoke here.
你是什麽,一个该死的护林员？
What are you, a fuckin' forest ranger?
这是地球,朋友。
This is the planet Earth, pal.
我们在外面。
We're outside.
你♥他♥妈♥的工作或事情要做吗
Don't you have a fuckin' job or something to do
而不是打破球？
instead of breaking balls?
滚开他妈的离开这裡。
Get the fuck out of here.
管好你♥他♥妈♥的生意。
Mind your fuckin' business.
难以置信。
Unbelievable.
这他妈的是什麽？我们在「坦率相机」吗？
What the fuck is that? Are we on "Candid Camera"?
他们把那个节目带回来了吗？
Did they bring that show back?
我一直想对你说点什麽,
I've been meaning to say something to you,
“因为你表现得越来越闷闷不乐
'cause you're acting more and more mopey
一直,就像你没有享受自己或什麽都没有。
all the time, like you're not enjoying yourself or nothing.
怎麽了？- 是的,我有一个 -
What's up? - Yeah, I had a--
我度过了一个奇怪的星期。
I had a weird week.
因为假死胡说八道？
Because of the fake death bullshit?