奥卡菲娜是来自皇后区的诺拉

我们从厨房♥溜进去
We'll sneak through the kitchen.
然后我们就冲上楼去 把骗子打倒
Then we'll charge upstairs and take down the scammer.
非常好 我们行动吧
Amazing. Let's go.
已经是晚上八点一刻了 我很累了
Eh, it's 8:15 and I'm pretty tired.
我也是 -嗯
Me too. - Yeah.
这样 不如我们睡个好觉
Okay, what if we all get a good night's sleep
明早四点天还黑的时候
and then reconvene at 4:00 in the morning,
再碰头
when it's still dark?
可以 -不错
Great. - Love it!
那我今睡住这儿了
I'm just gonna sleep here tonight, okay?
梅琳 -怎么了
Hey, Merlene? - Hey.
我能跟你聊两句吗
Can I just talk to you for a quick second?
传统上 一个人在一份工作上工作超过几个月
Traditionally one works at a job for longer than a few months
才可以要求加薪
before asking for a raise.
不 我不是要求加薪
No, I'm not--I'm not asking for a raise.
其实是...玛格丽特 -她超好的
Um...it's Margaret. - Love her.
对 她其实是个疯狂的大骗子兼前科犯
Right, she's also, like, a maniacal con artist/ex-convict.
她是我最好的销♥售♥员
She's my best salesperson.
我有照片证据...照片证据...
I have photo evidence-- photo evidence--
证明她在这里贩毒
that she is selling drugs up in here.
而不是卖♥♥这类药物
And not these kinds of drugs.
阴♥茎♥药物
Penis drugs.
跟我来
Follow me.
我投降
I surrender!
噢 嘿 投什么降 向谁投降
Oh, hey, boo-boo. To what? What are you surrendered to?
超长连衣裙吗
A maxi dress?
你也参与了吗
Are you in on this?
现在每个街区都有一家CBD商店
There's a CBD store on every block now.
诺拉 我要供养家庭呢
And Nora, I have a family.
你家里是两只龙猫 梅琳
You have two chinchillas, Merlene.
对 其中一只有糖尿病
Yeah, and one of them has diabetes.
噢 我很抱歉
Oh, I'm so sorry.
对了 我给你的募捐账号♥捐款了
I donated to your GoFundMe, by the way.
非常感谢 玛格丽特 她...
Thank you so much, Margaret. She's...
对 我最棒了
Yeah, I'm the best.
好了 诺拉 加入我们 好吗
Come on, Nora, just join us, okay?
我负责销♥售♥ 梅琳负责发货
I do the sales. Merlene does the distro.
他负责进货什么的
He gets the goods for the supplies and whatnot.
你看
Ah, come on.
比如 奥斯卡 本来是悲伤老爸 现在总是"性"致勃勃
And, like, Oscar, Sad Dad, always has a boner.
恶心
Eew.
这是双赢 加入我们吧
It's a win-win. Come join us.
不 这...这不对 这可不行
No, this is--this is wrong. This is not okay.
好了 冷静点 淡定 你知道吗 我们以前是一对
Come on, be cool, be chill. You know, we were lovers once.
她当时很淡定
She was very chill back then.
就一个吻而已 而且还没用舌头
It was a one kiss situation. No tongue.
对我的意义可远不止这点
It was so much more to me.
我的意思是...你该看看我手♥机♥上的记忆
I mean...you should see the memories on my phone.
我只是说 诺拉 放松点
I'm just saying, Nora, lighten up.
我们用得上你
We could use your help.
你一周能赚两千
You'd make 2 grand a week.
爱丽丝 你♥他♥妈♥穿的哈
Iris! What the fuck is that?
我们应该穿全身黑啊
We're supposed to wear all black.
这是伪装
It's camouflage.
你那是花 还有那个 是他妈啥
That's flowers! And what the fuck is that?
鞋拔
A shoehorn.
什么鬼 算了 得开工了
What--ah, never mind. It's go time.
这扇狗门比我们想的要小得多
This dog door's a lot smaller than we thought.
我有骨质疏松 所以我的骨头又软又韧
My bones are soft and pliable because of osteoporosis.
我来搞定
I got this.
我只是需要思琪搞定那只狗
I just need Siqi to take care of the dog.
过来 小狗狗 小狗狗 乖
Here, puppy, puppy, puppy!
吉娃娃呀
A Chihuahua!
爱丽丝 你上
Iris, you're up.
乳液婊登场
Lotion bitch time.
是时候发光发热了 淑淑
Time to shine, Shu Shu.
走快点
Walk faster!
快走 快走
Go, go!
别这么大声
Don't be so loud!
搞什么鬼 淑淑
Oh, what the fuck, Shu Shu?
帮帮我
Help me!
噢 我♥操♥ 是个小孩
Oh, shit. It's a kid.
是你 你是怎么...
It's you. How did you...
救命 救命 小孩有难 小孩有难
Help! Help! Child in danger! Child in danger!
怎样样才能让他闭嘴
How do we get him to shut up?
做奶奶最擅长的事 喂他
We do what grandmas do best: feed him.
事实上 我确实很饿
Actually, I am pretty hungry.
闭嘴
Aw, shut up.
诺拉 你已经在帮我卖♥♥CBD了
Nora, you already work for me selling CBD.
这基本上是一样的
This is basically the same thing.
谁不想当鸡鸡救援队的一员啊
Who doesn't wanna be part of the Rod Squad?
看看我们多酷
Look how cool we are.
我们正在帮助全国各地悲伤的爸爸们
We are helping sad dads all across the country.
我们在挽救婚姻
We are saving marriages.
你不想帮帮鸡鸡吗
Don't you wanna help that dick?
不 不 抱歉 不 不 我不能 我不能
No, no, sorry, no, no, I can't, I can't.
好的 行吧
Okay, fine.
不过 如果你改主意了 你知道上哪里找我
But if you change your mind, you know where to find me.
顺便说一句 我不叫玛格丽特了
By the way, I'm not going by Margaret anymore.
我叫"牛肉" -为什么
I'm going by Beef. - Why?
因为很好吃 你总是想吃
Because it's delicious and you always wanna eat it.
这是晚餐吃的东西
Duh! It's what's for dinner.
还有午餐 是低碳水 高蛋白
And lunch. It's low carb. High protein.
得了吧 你知道你自己缺铁
Come on, you know you have, like, a iron deficiency.
所以我一开始才会想到这个名字
It's how I came up with it in the first place.
你非得要这样… 好吧
Did you have to... Okay.
还记得你一直在说阿特金斯饮食法吗
Remember you always talked about the Atkins Diet?
三餐都吃牛肉
Beef all day, boo-boo.
很好 很棒
Great, awesome.
考虑到这一点 我想我辞职吧
Well, with that in mind, I guess I quit.
你如果要辞职 得把衬衫退给我
If you're quitting, you need to return your shirt.
39块呢
It's $39.
我会把衬衫退你的 梅琳
I will return the shirt, Merlene.
爱你
Love you!
你的老二会断的
Your dick's gonna break.
我不是有意想伤害你们谁
I didn't mean to hurt any of you guys.
所以我只是从每个人身上拿了一点钱
It's why I just took a little bit from each person.
对你来说是一点点 对别人来说可能是很多
A little to you can mean a lot to someone else.
可能吧
I guess.
我…我只是想多做点引人注意的事
I...I was just trying to do enough to get noticed.
没人留意我的存在 我爸妈从不在家
Nobody notices me. My parents are never there.
只是…
Just...
我真的没别的更好的事可做了
I literally didn't have anything better to do.
你知道吗 也没人留意我们
You know, nobody notices us either.
老年人 年轻人 没人把我们当回事
Old people, young people, nobody takes us seriously.
很显然 老年人有人留意
Well, obviously not old people. Duh.
我朋友想杀了你
My friend wants to kill you.
但我知道你是个好孩子
But I know you're a good kid.
就答应我 以后不会再骗别人了
Just promise me you won't scam anybody again.
好的 好的 -很好
Yeah, yeah, okay. - Good.
不过 你得吃掉一整颗榴莲
But you're gonna have to eat an entire durian
在60秒之内
in under 60 seconds.
等等 不不不
Wait, no, no, no.
上面说 不能吃外带食物
It says no outside food right over there.
我们只是一群老人和一个小孩
We're a bunch of old people and a kid.
谁会留意我们啊
Who's gonna notice?
一个密西西比 两个密西西比…
One Mississippi, two Mississippi...
不不不 真的我对亚洲食物过敏...
No, no, no, really. I'm allergic to Asian food--
把榴莲吃了 小贱贱 -还有臭豆腐
Eat the durian, bitch. - With stinky tofu.
三个密西西比 噢 好吃好吃
Three Missi--oh, nominy nom nom nom.