歪星撞地球（1996）

3rd rock from the sun S06E16

Part 2 Sept. 8, 2021, 3:07 p.m.

这局迪克一分玛丽零分
It's Dick 1, Mary zero.
迪克这不是比赛
Dick, this is not a competition.
那是因为你输了
That's because you're losing.
好到我了
Okay. It's my turn.
我原谅你玛丽
I forgive you, Mary,
去年圣诞节胖了五磅
for those 5 pounds you put on last Christmas.
-迪克 -不不结束了
- Dick! - No, no. It's done.
快点到你了
Come on. Your turn.
我原谅这个世界反复无常的...
I forgive the world for its capricious--
这让我想到了一条
That makes me think of one.
我还没说完呢
You didn't let me finish.
-原谅我吗 -好可你...
- Forgive me? - Yes, but you--
好那又到我了
Okay, then it's my turn again.
我原谅这个世界反复无常的...
I forgive the world for its capricious...
你最后准备说什么来着玛丽
What were you gonna put on the end of that, Mary?
迪克或许我们该分开做这件事
Oh, Dick, maybe we should do this thing separately.
我努力去原谅的事开始越滚越多了
The things I'm trying to forgive are snowballing on me here.
可是玛丽我正准备原谅你睡觉打鼾
But, Mary, I was gonna forgive you for snoring,
张嘴嚼东西
for chewing with your mouth open,
还有讲电♥话♥声音太大
and for a loud phone voice.
你确定想要错过这一切吗
Are you sure you want to miss all that?
我不想再试了
I don't want to do this anymore.
别这样玛丽
Come on, Mary.
不不你走吧
No, no, just go away.
还没耐心
Impatience, too.
不出去
No, get out.
我原谅你
I forgive you.
出去
Get out!
哈里给你拿来了油漆和刷子
Hey, Harry. Here's the paint and brushes from
都是你该帮我家刷油漆的时候留下的
when you were supposed to help me paint my apartment.
谢谢你赶来帮我尼娜
Thanks for hurrying over to help me, Nina.
帮什么忙我是来要回我的一百块
Help nothing. I came to get my hundred bucks back
就是你该帮我家刷油漆的时候收下的
from when you were supposed to help me paint my apartment.
怎么样了
Yeah. How'd that go?
实际上你从没出现...
Well, actually, you never even showed--
你知道吗我没时间和你谈这事
You know what? I don't have time for this.
我还有天花板要刷
I got a ceiling to paint,
要么付清欠我的一百块要么就走人
so either pay me the hundred bucks you owe me, or get out.
不是你欠我你在生哪门子气
No, you owe me, so what the hell are you so fired up about?
迪克并不是经常给我派任务
Well, it's not every day Dick gives me an assignment,
我想全心全意投入进去
and I want to put my heart and soul into it,
变成心甘情愿做的事
you know, make it a labor of love.
哈里这是个天花板
Harry, it's a ceiling.
选个颜色拍上去就好了
Pick a color and slap it on.
我无法选个颜色上色
I can't just pick and color!
它得和我有共鸣
It has to speak to me.
它得在早上反射日光的
It has to reflect the golden rays of sunlight
金色光线到我的脆谷乐上
off my Cheerios in the morning,
或是迪克唠叨时
or stir my interest as
我抬头看它会觉得没那么闷
I stare up at it while Dick's talking.
你好啊
Hi, there. Hi.
我正在校园里走
You know, I was walking across campus
要去一栋大学楼
on my way to a campus building,
我想索性就进来看看
and I thought I'd just swing by
问问你们都有哪些捉弄人的规矩
and ask you what your hazing rituals were.
不不不
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
我庄严宣誓过
I've taken a solemn vow
绝不会泄露这本宣誓书上的秘密
never to reveal the secrets of this pledge book.
你告诉我我就和你约会
You tell me, I'll go out with you.
-我带你看看 -好的
- Let me walk you through it. - Okay.
错错错
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
油漆怎么会味道这么好样子却那么难看呢
How can paint that tastes this good look this bad?
好了排好队快点排好队
All right, line up! Come on, line up!
好了姑娘们来了一位新的纳新助理
Okay, ladies, we've got a new assistant pledge master.
她名字叫莎莉
Her name is Sally.
斯坦说对了一半
Well, Stan is half right.
我名字叫莎莉可从现在起
My name is Sally, but from now on,
我的名字就是...
you'll all know me as--
哇哇哇
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
没错
That's right--
莎莉·哇哇哇
Sally Ow-ow-ow.
你叫什么
What's your name?
我叫巴基
I'm Bucky.
我的天你父母真残忍♥
Oh, my God, your parents are so cruel.
可你猜怎么着真正的残忍♥你还没见过
But guess what, you ain't seen nothing yet.
好了你叫什么名字
All right, what's your name?
我叫吉姆
I'm Jim.
以后不是了
Not anymore.
从现在起你的名字叫玫瑰
From now on, your name is Rose,
一个78岁的老奶奶
and you're a 78-year-old grandmother.
带个助步器去跑六英里
Go run 6 miles with a walker.
去去去
Go, go, go!
你叫什么名字汤米
What's your name, Tommy?
我叫汤米
I'm Tommy.
你好啊
Hi, there.
打断一下打断一下
Excuse me. Excuse me.
你们俩认识吗
Do you guys know each other?
不完全不认识
Uh, no, not at all.
我从没见过他
I never met him before in my life.
没有特殊待遇
No special treatment here.
她对我会完全
She'll treat me exactly
和对待其他不认识的人一样对吗
like she treats everyone else she doesn't know, right?
你真想这样吗
That's what you want, right?
是的
Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
-是吗 -是的
- Really? - Yes.
好的很好
All right. Good.
提问你穿的是四角裤还是三角裤
One question--you wearing boxers or briefs?
四角裤
Boxers.
回答错误
Wrong answer.
玛丽你会很高兴知道我深入到第二步了
Mary, you'll be happy to know that I'm deep into Step 2.
我已经成功消除了
I have successfully eliminated
我生活中所有的负面关系
all the negative relationships in my life--
朱蒂丝斯塔威克校长
Judith, Strudwick, the Chancellor.
我在得来速时
I've even stopped yelling at
都没冲小丑脑袋里
the little voice that comes out of the clown's head
发出的小声音叫唤
when I'm at the drive-through.
你真的成长了
Wow, you've really grown.
是的玛丽
Yes, I have, Mary.
我几乎就是永恒幸福的迪克了
I'm almost perma-happy Dick.
顺便说下你已经是过去时了
Anyway, you're history.
-什么 -没错我不要你了
- What? - Yeah, you're gone.
我不能再和你维持这段关系了
I can't be in this relationship anymore.
太多起起伏伏了
Too many ups and downs.
你因为这本书和我分手吗
You're breaking up with me because of this book?
对恐怕是的
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
不
No.
我知道这很难接受玛丽
I know it's hard, Mary.
不不难迪克只是不可能
No, it's not hard, Dick. It's just not happening.
什么
What?
我从这本书上看到的是
Well, what I've learned from this book is that
"在生活的摩天轮上
"On the ferris wheel of life,
我是掌管开关的管♥理♥员♥"
I am the carny holding the throttle."
我选择不和你分手
I choose not to break up with you.
真的吗你能这么做吗
Really? Can you do that?
对对
Yeah. Yeah.
我认为你往往低估了
I think you have a tendency to underestimate the--
互相依赖关系的弊病
the sickness of the co-dependent relationship.
我们在这依赖关系中先生
And we're in one, mister,
你哪里也别想去
and you're not going anywhere.