歪星撞地球（1996）

3rd rock from the sun S06E10

Part 2 Sept. 8, 2021, 3:06 p.m.

say "Federal Bikini Inspector"?
[缩写FBI 联邦调查局]
是的
Yes.
不过我先声明
But for the record,
这件汗衫是81年春假结束时发我的
this shirt was given to me after Spring Break '81,
我是实至名归
and I did earn it.
哈里你来干什么
Harry, what are you doing here?
没事
Oh, nothing, you know,
我就是想或许要来上课
I'm just thinking about maybe taking this class.
这课只收女学员
Uh, this class is for women only.
帮帮忙嘛唐我不想再担惊受怕了
Oh, come on, Don. I just don't want to be afraid anymore.
我想让那些噩梦散去
I want the nightmares to go away.
我想你可以在旁观看
Well, I--I suppose you could observe.
我需要有人穿着这件加垫服
I need somebody to wear the padded suit.
我不能穿
I can't wear that!
这会保证你的安全
You'll be perfectly safe.
不不不是这原因
Oh, no, no, it's not that.
就是这衣服会让我看起来很笨重
It's just it'll make me look really heavy.
接下来即兴表演夜将有一对新手上场
Next up, a couple of first-timers at Open Mike Night.
你们相信魔术吗
Do you believe in magic?
有请神奇所罗门氏菌
Let's ask The Amazing Solomonellas.
我是迪克这位是我可爱的助手
I am Dick, and this is my lovely assistant--
莎莉我是莎莉你们好吗
Sally. I'm Sally. Hey, how you doing?
莎莉
Sally.
虽然我的礼服是租的
Even though my tux is rented,
但是你们即将看到的一切都是非常真实的
what you're about to witness is very real.
莎莉
Sally!
我要将莎莉
I--I will now cut Sally
切成两等分
into two separate but equal slices.
有没有观众自告奋勇
Uh, could we get somebody from the audience
来验一下这个盒子
to come up and inspect this box?
就你了
Uh, yeah, you.
站在原地看这个盒子怎么样
No, stay. How's it look from there?
好吗很好
Good? Good.
既然这个盒子经过了严格审查
Now--now that the box has undergone the strictest scrutiny,
莎莉将危险地躺在这个盒子里
Sally will recline dangerously in the box.
莎莉
Sally.
这个戏法保证会让你们心惊胆战
This trick is sure to amaze and appall you.
千万不要在家里尝试
Under no circumstances should you try this at home.
莎莉正安全地躺在盒子里
Sally is now securely in the box.
能听到我说话吗莎莉
Can you hear me, Sally?
能
Yes.
那我们准备
Then we are ready...
开始
to proceed.
这
These
是两个锋利的回火钢刀片
are two razor-sharp tempered steel blades.
准备好了吗莎莉
Are you ready, Sally?
你有什么遗言吗
Do you have any last words?
那我们开始
Then here we go.
好引开注意抬膝盖
Okay, we misdirect and knee,
引开注意抬膝盖
misdirect and knee,
引开注意抬膝盖
misdirect and knee.
非常好
Very good.
很好很好很好
Oh, good, good, good.
哈里哈里现在
Harry, Harry. Now...
你不妨去接近朱蒂丝
why don't you start by approaching Judith?
好
Okay.
朱蒂丝很高兴再见到你
Hey, Judith, it's good to see you again.
不
No!
镇定
Hey, calm down!
不不不
No! No! No!
唐朱蒂丝彻底疯了
Don! Judith's totally freaking out!
不不不没事哈里
No, no, no. It's okay, Harry.
你穿了防护服不会被伤到
You've got the suit. You can't be hurt.
现在试着帮助这些妇女
Now just try and help these women
激发出她们好斗的一面
bring out their aggressive side.
什么意思把她们惹怒吗
What, you mean piss them off?
那我可以
Oh, I can do that.
打我
Hit me!
很乐意
With pleasure.
你就这点能耐吗
Ooh! Is that all you got?
宝贝真漂亮
Oh, baby, so nice.
你呢美女
How about you, sweet mama?
不我不行我...
Uh, nah, I can't. I--
快点矮胖妞让我见识一下你的能耐
Come on, stumpy. Show me what you got.
我...
I--I--I--
快点
Come on!
哈里哈里哈里
Harry, Harry, Harry.
今天就到这里吧
That's enough for today.
是吗我看还没完
Yeah? Well, I don't think it is.
哈里当心
Harry, watch it!
看好了
Now watch it.
你最不想招惹的人
The last person you want to tangle with
就是防身术教练
is a self-defense instructor.
是吗来啊小甜心
Yeah? Well, come on, sweet cakes.
不如来调查下我的比基尼吧
Why don't you inspect my bikini?
够了够了
That's it! That's it!
帮帮我
Hey! Help me!
老天莎莉
God, Sally!
外面真是爱的节日
That was a love fest out there!
他们崇拜我们
They worshipped us.
崇拜我们
Oh, ho ho ho. Worshipped--
我是赛·世邦多这家夜♥总♥会♥的老板
Hi, I'm Sy Spurndle, the owner of this club.
你们刚表演的魔术太绝了
That magic you did? Magic.
谢了
Oh... Oh, thanks.
我回头给你们打电♥话♥
I'm gonna call you later.
我不会做任何承诺
I don't want to make any promises,
可凭借你们刚在厅里的精彩表演
but the way you scored in the cabaret,
或许可以登上大舞台
you may be ready for the big room.
太好了大舞台在哪里
Wow. Amazing. Where's the big room?
在厅里我们刚加了两张桌子
It's the cabaret. We just add two more tables.
回见我们会...
See you around. We'll...
谢谢世邦多先生
Thank you, Mr. Spurndle.
-谢谢世邦多先生 -再见
- Thank you, Mr. Spurndle. - Good-bye.
莎莉
Sally.
迪克
Oh, Dick!
鼓掌鼓掌鼓掌
Applause, applause, applause,
鼓掌鼓掌鼓掌
applause, applause, applause, applause.
谢谢这世上最棒的魔术
Thank you, but the best magic in the world
是两个人共享的魔术
is the magic shared by two.
这个魔术的完成
And I couldn't do the magic I do
少不了你
without you
还有你们
and you.
那么再见
And now, adieu.
鼓掌鼓掌鼓掌
Applause, applause, applause, applause--
好了这次有提高吗
All right, was it better that time?
比得上魔术大♥师♥胡迪尼的表演技巧吗
Did it equal the stagecraft of Houdini?
这是我们今天接近最棒的表演了
It's as close as we'll get today.
要重来一遍吗
Ugh! Want to do it again or what?
不用
No, no.
好我要去喂鸽子了
Fine. I'm gonna go feed the dove.
赛聊一下
Sy, a moment.
我们应该在表演中放个青蛙
Hey, I think we should put a frog in the act!
已经有一个了
We already have a frog in the act.
她身高1米82
She's 6-foot tall.
赛我们得聊聊
Sy, we have to talk.
听着一直以来都很棒
Look, this has been wonderful.
我必须得说我爱这行
I must tell you, I love what I do.
拉瑟福也是这势头保持下去
So does Rutherford. This keeps up,
我就能买♥♥真正的烟雾报♥警♥器了
I'll be able to buy real smoke alarms.
可是赛我问你个事
But, Sy, let me ask you something.