歪星撞地球（1996）

3rd rock from the sun S06E14

Part 2 Sept. 8, 2021, 3:06 p.m.

早啊
Morning.
玛丽
Mary,
你看上去像是一夜没睡
you look like you've been up all night.
不迪克
Oh, no, Dick.
我和我妈在医院度过了宁静的夜晚
I had a very restful night with my mother in the hospital.
我只是想让你们俩的关系
I was only trying to make things better
有所好转
between the two of you.
我知道
I know.
可你弄巧成拙了
But you just made things worse.
现在她出院后
Now when she gets out of the hospital
就要和我一起住了
she's going to have to stay with me.
太遗憾了
Oh, I'm so sorry.
玛丽我希望我能做点事
Mary, I wish there was something I could do
让你好起来
to make things right for you.
只要玛莎·欧布莱特存在于我的生活
As long as Martha Albright is in my--my life,
我们谁都无能为力
there's nothing any of us can do.
我会找到办法亲爱的
I'll find a way, my darling.
为了你我愿意赴汤蹈火
For you, no sacrifice is too great.
对了昨天晚餐那阵折腾后
Oh, by the way, with all the ruckus at dinner last night,
我不小心多给了小费
I accidentally over tipped.
你欠我五块钱
You owe me a fiver.
把午餐吃完
Finish your lunch.
排骨搞促销
Well, there was a sale on chops,
超♥市♥人多得跟动物园似的
and the market was a zoo.
怎么回事
What's going on here?
你不能把他扔在电视机前
You can't just plop him down in front of the TV.
他的拼读卡片呢
Where are his phonics flashcards?
我出门时
When I left you agreed
你答应教他认拼读卡片的
that you would do his phonics flashcards.
你知道吗他用卡片洗澡了
You know what? He took a bath with them.
洗发水辣到我的眼睛了
The shampoo burned my eyes.
我要被逼疯了
I'm going stir-crazy here.
照看他太无聊了
It is so boring having to watch him.
如果你无聊我们就玩按门铃吧
If you're bored, let's play Doorbell.
-什么是按门铃 -叮咚
- What's Doorbell? - Ding-dong.
不许这样
No, no, no.
你不能怪他
Well, you can't blame him.
他亢奋也情有可原
Of course he's hyper.
你整天都在喂他吃糖果
You've been feeding him candy all day.
[小孩子吃多糖会兴奋]
等等那个糖果的成分全是
Hey, wait a minute, that candy is chock full
营养丰富的糖
of nutritious sugar.
而且还帮他认字了
And it'll also help him learn his letters.
"M"不是嘛
Well, "M".
谁想玩另一个游戏
Hey, who wants to play another game?
-休想伙计 -拜托和孩子玩吧
- No way, man. - Oh, come on, play with the boy.
好吧只要不是按门铃就行
Fine, as long as it's not Doorbell.
双门铃叮咚
Double-Doorbell. Ding-dong.
那好吧
Oh, okay, fine then.
你走吧懒鬼
You just go, you deadbeat.
我们不需要你
We don't need ya.
盖和我会玩按门铃
Guy and I will play Doorbell.
请问你是玛莎·欧布莱特的医生吗
Excuse me, are you Martha Albright's doctor?
你是谁
Who are you?
我是欧布莱特的家人代表
I'm here on behalf of the Albright family.
虽然难过我们还是决定最好
Sadly, we've decided it's best to...
拔去维生装置
to pull the plug.
什么
What?
她只是做了个髋关节置换
She--she just had a hip replacement.
听着事关生活质量问题
Look, this is a quality of life issue.
她健康得很
She's perfectly healthy.
不不是她的生活质量是她女儿的
No, not her quality of life, her daughter's.
我要叫保安了
I'm calling security.
拜托
Oh, come on.
快到滑雪季了
It's almost ski season.
你们需要空出病床位
You're gonna need the beds.
谁拔了我的风扇插头
Who the hell unplugged my fan?
你好玛莎
Hello, Martha.
你来干什么精神病房♥在6号♥
What're you doing here? The psych ward's on 6.
很高兴看到吗♥啡♥没把"刻薄"所在的神经细胞
Good to see the morphine hasn't dulled the neurons
给变迟钝
where "Mean" is stored.
迪克我不想和你说话
Dick, I have no desire to talk to you.
真♥相♥伤人对不对玛莎
The truth hurts, doesn't it, Martha?
可没有太空时代的钛髋关节置换
But there's no space-age titanium hip replacement
能弥补玛丽受伤的童年
to mend Mary's broken childhood.
玛丽受伤的童年
Mary's broken childhood.
呸了吧
Puh-lease.
玛丽有人关爱迪克
Mary was loved, Dick.
玛丽有个有爱的家迪克
Mary had a lovely home, Dick.
玛丽上的都是最好的学校迪克
Mary went to the best schools...Dick.
我们甚至在她八岁时还给她买♥♥了匹小马
We even bought her a pony when she was eight.
小马
A pony?
是的
Yes.
玛丽从没给我说过这事
Mary never told me that.
她十几岁时
And when she was a teenager,
可是个麻烦精
what a handful.
你知道吗
Do you know
我还得早上在她的橙汁里
I had to lace her orange juice in the morning
混进压碎的避孕药
with crushed birth control pills.
这么说你既确保她摄取了维生素C
So...so you made sure she got her vitamin C
又不会被搞大肚子
and kept her from getting knocked up?
真是关怀备至
That is so caring.
我承认我对她很严厉
All right, I was hard on her.
可我只想让她做最棒的玛丽·玛格丽特
But I just wanted her to be the best Mary Margaret ever.
我以前爱她迪克
I loved her, Dick.
现在还爱着她
And I still do.
我就是爱她
I just love her.
我从未意识到这故事还有另一面
I never realized there was another side to the story.
母亲的一面
The mother's side.
玛莎从现在起
Martha, from now on,
感激和喜爱你都不会想要了
you will want for neither gratitude nor affection,
因为慈母
because, gentle Mother,
我会照顾你一切所需
I will tend to your every need.
迪克
Oh, Dick.
我得去上厕所
I have to go to the john.
我按铃叫护士
I'll ring for the nurse.
真不错
This is nice.
我们有一段时间没出来了
We haven't been out in a while.
那是我见过的最漂亮的洗手间
That was the nicest washroom I've ever seen.
我不知道那些女人在叫什么
I don't know what those women were screaming about.
坐下
Sit down.
洗手了吗
Did you wash your hands?
我不会碰食物我也不是员工
I'm not handling food, and I'm not an employee.
好了收起那副嘲讽相小鬼
Okay, drop that sarcasm right now, buster.
你们什么时候能不对我指手画脚
When are you two gonna get off my back?
好吧我们走
All right, let's go.
显然带他出来见世面还太早了
It's obviously too soon to take him out in public.
他还没准备好我们走
He's not ready, let's go.
-我准备好了 -好那就拿出行动来
- I am ready! - All right, then act it.
她来了
Hey, she's here.
你将初次和一个真正的人类
You are about to interact with a real human being
打交道
for the first time.
别搞砸了
Do not screw it up.
你看上去很帅
Oh, you look so handsome.
抱歉我来晚了
I'm sorry to be late.
又一家药房♥盯上我了
Another pharmacy is on to me.
杜布切克太太这是盖
Ms. Dubcek, this is Guy.
你好幸会
Hi. Nice to meet you.
你是干什么的盖
Oh, so what do you do, Guy?
我以前是波长闭联集里的光子分流器
I used to be a photon shunt in the wavelength continuum,
可现在我穿上了裤子在说话