歪星撞地球（1996）

3rd rock from the sun S06E08

Part 2 Sept. 8, 2021, 3:06 p.m.

两个美国人
Two Americans.
我从没感觉到和你像现在这样亲近
I've never felt this close to you as I do right now.
我们两个美国人溜进影印室
What do you say we Americans slip into the copy room
宣布我们"挣脱"裤子取得"自♥由♥"怎么样
and declare independence from our pants?
怎么又有新鞋
What's with the new shoes?
不是新鞋我四个小时前买♥♥的
They're not new. I got 'em four hours ago.
哈里
Harry?
平等领导人决定
The equality leader has decided
不得攀比服装
that there will be no competition in dress.
如果我们当中有人得到新鞋
If one of us gets new shoes,
那就人脚一双
we all get new shoes.
我没意见
I'm down with that.
干得好平等领导人
Nice job, equality leader.
你们的圣代好了
And...your sundaes are ready.
汤米的冰淇淋比我的多
Tommy got more ice cream than me.
不一样多
Nope. Equal.
不才不是
No, they're not!
平等领导人做出了裁定
The equality leader has ruled.
一二三
One two three.
一二三
One two three.
一二三
One two three.
我没有鲜奶油
I--I didn't get any whipped cream.
平等领导人做出了裁定
The equality leader has ruled.
四个樱桃
Four cherries.
他要怎么分
How's he gonna divide that up?
你们的领导做出了裁定
Your leader has ruled.
请起立进行效忠宣誓
Please rise for The Pledge of Allegiance.
什么从来没这规矩
What? What? We've never done that.
没错宣誓起立起立起立
Yes, the Pledge. Up! Up! Up!
不准用花俏的替代措辞
And no fancy alternate wording.
我希望完全依照
I want it preformed exactly as it appears
我的过塑书签上的誓词宣誓
on my laminated bookmarker.
开始
And begin.
等等我们看着哪里宣誓
Wait. Where do we look?
两两一对互看搭档
Uh...pair off and look at your partners.
不必看着国旗吗
Don't we have to look at a flag?
对当然了谁有国旗
Uh, yes. Of course. Who has a flag?
没人带国旗来上课吗
No one brought a flag to class?
凯伦裤子上有国旗
Caryn has a flag on her pants.
太好了
Oh, great.
凯伦请你把裤子脱了
Uh, Caryn, please remove your pants
传到教室前面来
and pass them to the front of the class.
所罗门教授我不会脱裤子的
Dr. Solomon, I'm not gonna remove my pants.
抱歉你说得对
Oh, I'm sorry. You're right.
那样太有失身份了
That would be degrading.
你就站到讲台上来
Just get up on the desk.
快上来上来上来
Come on. Up! Up! Up!
上去了
And...up!
预备
And, uh...
开始
And begin.
我对国旗宣誓效忠
I pledge allegiance to the flag--
什么国旗
What flag is that?
美♥利♥坚♥合众国国旗
...of the United States of America--
继续响点响点响点
Come on. Sell it! Sell it!
及其所代表的共和国
...and to the republic--
介词重读
Hit the prepositions!
及其所代表的共和国
"To the republic for which it stands."
这一上帝庇护下的国度不可分割
...one nation under God indivisible--
"不可看见" 谁说了"不可看见"
Invisible? Who said invisible?
里昂
Leon?
民众享有自♥由♥和公正
...with liberty and justice for all.
这算哪门子的宣誓
What kind of a pledge is that?
你们的激♥情♥呢你们的爱国热情呢
Where's the passion? Where's the enthusiasm?
算了
Oh...never mind.
凯伦下去
Caryn, get off my desk!
快点
Hurry up.
哈里的每日致辞快开始了
Harry's daily address is about to start.
我不喜欢这样
I don't like this.
我喜欢
Oh, I do.
自从我来到这个星球
Ever since I came to this planet,
一直都在困扰要穿什么
I've had to obsess over what to wear
要吃多少要怎么弄发型但是
and how much to eat and how to fix my hair. But...
突然之间又有了命令
all of a sudden, there's order again
所有的决定都为我做好了
and all my decisions are made for me.
可我们在失去个性
But we're losing our individuality.
你怎么这么说 1♥2♥5♥8♥号♥
Why do you say that, number 1♥2♥5♥8♥?
美国公民们
Citizens of America,
我很高兴宣布
I am pleased to announce
一切前所未有的公平
that things have never been more equal.
够了
Enough!
我在公♥寓♥里到处都安装了对讲机
I have installed intercoms throughout the apartment
这是为了更促进交流
to better facilitate communication.
不管你们在哪个房♥间
No matter what room you are in,
我都能听见
I will hear you.
或者你们可以和我沟通
Or you can communicate with me
交流所有的平等问题
on any and all issues of equality--
不要再穿鞋了
And no more shoes!
我们要把这些鞋都给埋了
We will bury these shoes!
就这样了
That is all.
家庭会议家庭会议
Family meeting! Family meeting!
你们都好迷人
Oh. You all look fetching.
你真这么觉得吗
You really think so?
我不在乎
I don't care.
汤米载我们来这里的飞船
Tommy, was the name of the ship that brought us here
是叫五月花号♥吗
called the Mayflower?
不我想是叫做Z-5000
No, I think it was called the Z-5000.
Z-5000-花号♥吗
The Z-5000-flower?
不就叫做Z-5000
No, just the Z-5000.
太糟了
Oh. Too bad.
我今天和玛丽过得非常愉快
You know, I had such a great time with Mary today.
过去我们俩总有着人类和外星人的障碍
In the past, there's always been this human-alien barrier.
可今天我们只是两个美国人
But today, we were just two Americans.
你是加拿大人
You're Canadian.
什么
What?
你的护照上写着你是加拿大人
Your passport here says you're Canadian.
有罪
Guilty.
不
No!
我怎么会不是美国人
How come I'm not American?
我觉得一家四口都来自同一个国家
Well, I thought it would look pretty suspicious
看起来会相当可疑
if all four members of our family were from the same country
这逻辑是无法辩驳了
I can't argue with that logic.
我现在怎么办
What am I gonna do?
我怎么告诉玛丽
How am I gonna tell Mary
她在和敌人上♥床♥
that's she's sleeping with the enemy?
我觉得这不是四色芝士披萨
I don't think this is four cheeses.
分明是五色芝士
I think this is five cheeses.
你知道我很想和谁坐下
You know who'd I'd really like to sit down
共度时光吗
and spend some time with?
-谁 -加拿大女歌♥手席琳·迪翁
- Who? - Canadian songstress Celine Dion.
很好迪克
Good, Dick.
没错我说的是加拿大人
That's right. I said Canadian.
谁认识我可不认识
Who knew? I didn't.
因为她不是那种咄咄逼人的加拿大人
Because she's not one of those in-your-face Canadians.
她只是个和你我一样的普通人
She's just a normal person like you and me,
除了她是加拿大人
only...Canadian.
这样很好
Good for her.
我觉得你们俩会成为好朋友
You know, I--I think the two of you would be great friends.
肯定会的
I'm sure we would.
玛丽这是你的真心话吗
Oh, Mary, do you mean it?
不我对她一无所知
No. I don't know anything about her.