歪星撞地球（1996）

3rd rock from the sun S06E01

Part 1 Sept. 8, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

《歪星撞地球》
第六季第一集
那儿就在那儿
There. Right there.
他们居然把那东西放那儿
That's where they're putting it.
真是太无语了
Unbelievable!
就是嘛他们居然把博物馆的新侧楼
I know. How dare they attach the new wing of the museum
建在博物馆的主楼旁边
onto the rest of the museum.
它挡住我视线了
It's gonna block my view.
实实在在地在我办公室投下了一道阴影
It is literally going to cast a shadow on my office.
与象征性地投阴影意思相反对吗
Yeah, as opposed to figuratively casting a shadow?
没错混球相反
Yes, jerk. As opposed to figuratively.
不我觉得你没明白我的意思
No, I don't think you see what I'm saying.
你看阴影当然是实实在在的除非
You see, the shadow is of course literal, unless--
除非是我妹瑞娜塔·欧布莱特捐赠的
Unless it was donated by my sister, Renata Albright.
你妹妹实实在在地吗
Your sister? Literally?
你从没告诉我你有个妹妹
You never told me you had a sister.
我不想提起她
Well, I don't like to talk about her,
因为一提起我就想到了她
only because it reminds me of her.
自打她出生我的生活就变了
The minute she was born, my life changed.
大家只关心她
She was showered with attention.
她拥有一切
She was given everything.
她受到无穷无尽地关怀
She was supported endlessly,
而我只能准备好清洗她的东西
and I had to stand by and rinse out her things.
这样啊
Wow.
这么说你是传说中善良的姐姐
So you're the good sister?
通常长女不都是为妹妹的成长铺平道路吗
Doesn't the firstborn kind of pave the way?
她肯定很感激你的
I'm sure she's grateful.
感激
Grateful?
她是我们中聪明的一个
She's the smart sister,
成功的一个漂亮的一个
the successful sister, the pretty sister.
她存在的每一秒
And every second she has,
都在提醒我这个无情的事实
she crams it down my throat.
她就是个恶魔
She is evil.
玛丽小亲亲
Mary-berry.
说恶魔恶魔到实实在在哦
Speak of the devil-- literally!
-我要杯皇家吉尔 -我也是
- Kir royale for me. - Yeah, me, too.
玛丽你要来一瓶什么吗
Oh, Mary, would you like a carafe of anything?
我在家喝过了谢了
I drank at home, thank you.
那么你又结婚了吗
So have you married again,
或者你不想讨论这种"生意上的事情"
or do you not want to discuss business?
瞧你玛丽
Oh, now, now, Mary.
我不辞奔波
I traveled all this way
来给你们这所小学校的美术教室捐赠
to help your little school's art room.
为什么你就不能说声谢谢呢
Why can't you just say thank you?
因为这只是你的挑衅行为
Because it was an act of hostility
目的是为了羞辱我
designed to humiliate me.
也是为了展示荷兰顶尖建筑家
And to showcase Holland's premier architect,
福林·犯得哭死的杰作
Flim Vandercoose.
你真做作
You are so affected.
是有教养
Cultured.
-自负 -世故
- Pretentious. - Worldly.
-还整容 -三十岁哦
- Face-lifted. - 30.
-我讨厌你 -我爱死我自己
- I hate you! - I love me!
我们回去休整一下再回来给你有力的反驳
Uh, we're gonna regroup and come back with a real zinger.
哎呦喂
Well, well, well.
你就是那个忠诚的男朋友吗
Aren't you the loyal boyfriend?
也许这就是玛丽拥有而我没有的东西
Hmm. I guess that's something Mary has that I don't.
没错我很忠诚
Oh, I'm loyal.
十分忠诚
Fiercely loyal.
还挺可爱
And quite cute.
这位女士女士
Hey, lady! Lady!
这一切都是你买♥♥单吗
You're paying for this whole thing?
老天做你这行应该赚得不少吧
Man, you must make a butt-load of money at your job.
你都能出钱建一座新博物馆
If you can afford a whole new museum,
我很好奇你是做哪行的
what kind of job is that, I wonder?
我是个慈善家我捐助崇高的事业
I'm a philanthropist. I give to worthy causes.
好的我可能说得不太具体
Okay, I don't have this all fleshed out,
但我知道几个要点
but here are the bullet points.
孩子狂喜草还有汽车
Children...herbal ecstasy... and motor vehicles.
[刺♥激♥神经的药物]
失陪了
Excuse me.
我们会想到好点子的
We'll think of something.
迪克肯定会大吃一惊的
Oh, Dick's gonna be so impressed.
迪克迪克·所罗门吗
Dick? Dick Solomon?
是的他是我们的哥哥
Yeah, he's our brother.
我愿意帮助你们
You know, I would like to help you.
办个青少年中心怎么样
What about a teen center?
我们最爱跟青少年合作了
We love working with teens.
我们就是干这行的
It's practically our life!
是嘛
Yes.
我给你们一万美元
I'll give you $10,000.
凑个一万整数吧
Make it 10.
她刚说的就是一万的整数
She just made it 10.
我就知道她重压之下必会屈服的
I knew she'd cave under the pressure.
我不知道我到底还纠结个什么劲儿
Oh, I don't know why I even bother!
如今为时已晚伤害早已经造成了
It's too late. The damage has been done.
我父母把所有的防晒霜都给了瑞娜塔
My parents gave all the sunblock to Renata.
我真为太阳和瑞娜塔带给你的伤害感到难过
I hate what the sun and Renata have done to you.
他们把你的自尊全夺走了
They've taken away all your self-esteem.
不止是我的自尊
Oh, not just my self-esteem.
我拥有的只要瑞娜塔想要
Everything I have Renata wants
最终就会得手
and eventually gets.
猜猜她现在又瞧上
And guess who's the shiny new bauble
你的什么好东西了
she's got her eyes on now?
-我 -什么
- Me. - What?
她摸了我的屁♥股♥
She touched my bum.
真抱歉除了傻笑我不知道该怎么反应
I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do except giggle.
她已经病态了
It's pathological with her.
她拥有的比我多得多
She has more than I ever will,
现在连我拥有的微不足道的东西她都想要
and now she wants... what little I have.
这次决不能让她得手了
Well, she's not going to get it, not this time.
她会得手的
She'll get it, all right.
-你什么意思 -我想到条妙计玛丽
- What do you mean? - It's brilliant, Mary.
我们将她的优势变成咱们的优势
We'll turn her advances into our advantage.
我们在她面前假装争吵
We'll stage a row in front of her
装作不和
and pretend to be on the outs.
什么
What?
我向她寻求安慰
I'll seek out her comfort,
追求她赢得她的心
woo her, win her.
然后时机到来时
And then, when the time is right,
我会狠狠伤她的心
I will break her heart.
-不 -就这样
- No! - Yes.
我们让她也尝尝她给你的痛苦
We'll pay her back for all the pain she's inflicted on you.
那么世界上再多的钱
And there won't be money enough in all the world...
也抚慰不了她受伤的心
to mend her.
迪克我害怕
Oh, Dick, I'm appalled.
这个计划太荒谬了
Your plan is ridiculous.
太过冒险太可怕了
It's risky. It's--it's horrible.
实在是太浪漫了
It's positively French.
就这么干
Do it!
虽然很费劲
Well, it took a lot of work,
但我们总算把这地方
but we sure turned that
变成了孩子们的乐园
dive into a great place for the kids.
没错我们快迟到了
Yeah. We're gonna be late.
走吧
Come on.
咱奔青少年中心去吧
Let's get on over to the teen center.
-走吧 -好
- Right on. - Yeah.
天哪
Oh, man.
那些孩子多么幸运每天能在
Those kids sure are lucky to have a place like this
这样一个地方度过一小时
to hang out for an hour a day, huh?
这一万真花得值
10 grand well spent.
没错