歪星撞地球（1996）
3rd rock from the sun
第六季
剧集 | 歪星撞地球（1996） | 导航列表
歪星撞地球（1996）
3rd rock from the sun S06E16
Part 1
Sept. 8, 2021, 3:07 p.m.
《歪星撞地球》
第六季第十六集
还有完没完
Will this never end?
我们都排了一个月了
We've been waiting in line for a month!
你想想尼娜和我邀请过你吗
D-Do you recall Nina and I even inviting you?
起码最后还有个接吻亭
At least there's a kissing booth at the end.
还能有所期待
That's something to look forward to.
最后没有接吻亭 我还特地说了
There's no kissing booth at the end, and I specifically said
"别来 你会觉得无聊 还会烦我们"
"Don't come. You'll be bored, and you'll annoy us."
天哪 我需要咖♥啡♥因♥ 不然就要睡着了
Oh, God, I need caffeine, or I'm gonna fall asleep.
尼娜 乖乖帮我拿杯卡布奇诺来
Nina, be a lamb and fetch me a cappuccino.
我是来要克莱尔·沃尔克的签名的
I'm here to get Claire Volk to sign my book,
仅此而已
that's all.
是什么让你们痴迷克莱尔·沃尔克和她的签名
What is this obsession with Claire Volk and her signature?
这种做法不可能健康 不可能健康
It can't be healthy. It can't be healthy!
克莱尔·沃尔克的第一本书教会我自爱
Claire Volk's first book taught me to love myself
那时我的生活很不如意
during some really rough times.
她是个充分实现自我价值的人
She's a fully actualized person
有太多可以分享
with so much to share.
有两点我可以肯定
There are two things I'm certain about:
她没有充分实现自我价值
she is not fully actualized,
还有我不知道这个词的意思
and I don't know what that means.
活着的人
There isn't a human being alive
都会从她这本书上获益
that couldn't benefit from this book.
来 我看看
Here, let me see it.
《通往永恒幸福的路线图》
A Road Map for Permanent Happiness.
我略读一下简介
I'll give the intro a skim
告诉你们我的想法
and get back to you with my thoughts.
胡扯
Baloney.
废话
Crap.
胡说
Nonsense.
又是废话
More crap.
有意思
Interesting.
下一位
Next?
我是玛丽·欧布莱特 我等了
Hi. I'm Mary Albright, and I have been waiting
-很久... -沃尔克小姐
- a long time... - Miss Volk,
在我排到快到我的时候
in the last few feet of this line,
你永远改变了我的生活
you have changed my life forever!
你想让我给你的书签名吗
Would you like me to sign your book?
书算什么
Book nothing!
签在我的胸上
Sign my breast!
你看看能不能用乳♥头♥点缀个"我"
And see if you can use the nipple to dot the "I."
快点 我想听你说出来
Come on. I want to hear you say it.
我也爱你
Oh, I love you, too.
谁啊
Oh, who was that?
汤米
Tommy!
他在学校怎么样
How's he doing at college?
糟透了
Oh, terrible.
他聊到了兄弟会
He said something about a fraternity
被兄弟会成员捉弄 这周是地狱周
and being hazed by Greeks, and it's Hell Week.
他不知道是否挺得过去
He doesn't know if he's gonna make it.
地狱周 他可能有生命危险
Hell Week? He could be in mortal danger.
家庭会议 家庭会议
Family meeting! Family meeting!
不行 我得赶去汤米的学校
I can't. I got to get to Tommy's school.
他可能已经死了
He could be dead already.
现在吗 我还想给你们看我的新书呢
Now? But I want to show you my new book!
听我说 我会不惜一切来保障汤米
Listen to me, I will do anything to keep Tommy
或其他任何家庭成员的人身安全
or any member of this family from being killed,
即便代价是杀了你或其他任何家庭成员
even if it means killing you or any member of this family!
哈里
Harry...
我们在这个星球上躁动地存在了这么久
all through our tumultuous existence on this planet,
一直被我们的消极情感所奴役
we have been enslaved by our negative emotions.
说的很对 我得走了
That's so true. I got to run.
别走
Ah, no--
-你幸福吗 -对
- Are you happy? - Yeah.
-真幸福吗 -对
- Really happy? - Yeah.
真真正正幸福吗
Really, really, really happy?
不
No.
有了这本书 我们就将主宰我们的情绪
With this book, we are going to master our emotions.
不再跌宕起伏 只有如意快乐
No more ups and downs, only ups.
从现在起 对永恒幸福的探索
From now on, the quest for perma-happiness
一定是我们第一也是唯一要事
must be our first and our only priority.
平静 平静 快乐 快乐
Calm, calm, happy, happy.
好了 我花钱修好了厨房♥那个漏洞
Okay, I paid to get that leak in the kitchen roof fixed.
现在你们出个人上去粉刷天花板
Now, one of you got to go up and paint the ceiling,
不然我保证金就不退了
or I'm keeping your security deposit.
好 哈里 你去刷天花板
Okay, Harry, you paint the ceiling.
我来为我们俩找快乐
I'll get happy for both of us.
汤米 汤米
Tommy? Tommy!
天哪 汤米
Oh, my God, Tommy,
他们给你洗♥脑♥ 让你以为地板就是你的牙齿
they've brainwashed you into thinking the floors are teeth.
莎莉 你来干什么
Sally, what are you doing here?
好吧 我是来救你小命的
Okay, I came to save your ass.
快跳到我背上
Now jump on my back,
我把你带出这个死亡陷阱 快
and I'm gonna bust you out of this death trap. Come on.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
地狱周 你告诉哈里你可能挺不过去
Hell Week. You told Harry you might not make it.
你不记得了吗
Don't you remember?
汤米
Tommy?
汤米 你在里面吗
Tommy, are you in there?
莎莉
Sally!
我的意思是 我害怕我可能进不了兄弟会
I meant I was afraid I might not make it into the frat.
兄弟会
The frat.
真棒 好吧
Great. Okay.
该死 这四个小时的大巴坐得真值
Hell, that was worth a four-hour bus ride.
莎莉 这地方有着最棒的派对
Sally, this place has the best parties,
最漂亮的姑娘 还有些是最没下限的姑娘
the nicest girls, and some of the skankiest girls.
所以兄弟会成员
Which is why the frat brothers
会给我们一系列考验
are putting us through a series of tests--
来确保没有小书呆子入会
to make sure none of the weenie geeks get in.
我懂了 所以你担心
Oh, I see. So you're worried,
因为你是个小书呆子
'cause you're a weenie geek.
不
No.
我只是有点担心
I merely have some concerns
兄弟会的选拔流程可能不太科学
that the frat selection process might not be scientific.
我要是知道纳新负责人的计划就好了
I just wish I knew what the pledge master has planned.
汤米 知道吗
Tommy, you know,
我或许能帮到你
I might be able to help you here.
碰巧 我不止是逃跑高手
As it happens, I'm not just a master of escape,
还精通进入各种地方
but I am also a master of getting into places
偷偷摸摸地找东西
and...sneakily secret... finding.
-渗透战斗 -谢谢 渗透战斗
- Infiltration. - Thank you. Infiltration.
是啊 你还真"不是"呆子
Oh, yeah, you're not a geek.
迪克 难以置信
Oh, Dick, I can't believe
你竟然这么喜爱这本书
how into this book you are.
太好了 我真为你感到骄傲
It's wonderful. I am so proud of you.
谢谢你 玛丽
Oh, thank you, Mary.
克莱尔·沃尔克说我
Claire Volk says that
只需要自己的肯定
I don't need any affirmation but my own,
所以我要假装这话是我说的
so I'm gonna pretend that I said that.
书上说通往永恒幸福的第一步
The book says that Step 1 to perma-happiness
是宽恕仪式 来吧
is the forgiveness ceremony, so--
我能先来吗
Should I go first?
不不不 我酝酿很久了
No, no, no. I've been saving up.
我原谅尼娜今天吃了我的午餐
I forgive Nina for eating my lunch today.
迪克 尼娜这么做是因为你吃了她的午餐
Dick, Nina did that because you ate her lunch.
玛丽 这是宽恕仪式
Mary, is this a forgiveness ceremony
还是"谁吃了尼娜的午餐"审讯
or a who-ate-Nina's-lunch inquisition?
-抱歉 抱歉 -到你了
- Sorry, sorry. - Your turn.
我原谅我母亲把我的童年搅得一团糟
I forgive my mother for making a mess of my childhood.
可你还在生气 我看得出来
Ah. But you're still mad, I can tell.
歪星撞地球（1996）
3rd rock from the sun
剧集 | 歪星撞地球（1996） | 导航列表