歪星撞地球（1996）

3rd rock from the sun S06E11

Part 4 Sept. 8, 2021, 3:06 p.m.

做到死
to death.
计划不错可首先我得和她聊聊
Good plan. But first, I have to talk to her.
我两个半小时的前戏中
There will be plenty of time for talk
有的是时间聊天
during my two-and-a-half hours of foreplay.
不不
No, no.
我命令你先把你的性♥欲♥缓一缓
I command you to suspend this eroticide
等到我和瑞塔说完话
until I have spoken to Rita.
我得问清我们什么时候离开这座星球
I have to find out when we're leaving this planet.
为什么
Why?
我终于找了个自己的完美替补
I finally found the perfect replacement for myself.
太好了
Well, that's great!
对玛丽来说太好了
It is great... for Mary.
可我导演了这出无私的剧目
But I planned this selfless act,
根本不知道会对我造成怎样的影响
I had no idea how it would affect me!
太伤我心了
It's heartbreaking.
我得问清
I've got to find out
我和我的爱人还有多长时间
how much time I have left with my beloved.
怎样才能让你开心迪克
Well, what would make you happy, Dick?
十年
Ten years?
这么快短短十年你是这么想的吗
That quick? Ten short years? Is that what you think?
可能会是十个月
Well, it could be ten months.
极短的十个月
Ten tiny months?
这和我已经走了有什么区别
I'm as good as gone already!
迪克你找到了替补
Well, Dick, you found your replacement.
面对现实吧从现在起你只是个临时的
Face it; from now on, you're just a temp.
你说得对
You're right.
挡在玛丽和真爱之间的是我
The only thing standing between Mary and true love is me.
要是我能预见到多好
Oh, if only I'd seen this coming!
去死吧瑞塔
Damn you, Rita!
我想亲手杀了你
I wanna kill you myself!
可你们怎么杀死能预知未来的人
But how do you kill someone who can predict the future?
交给我来办吧
Mm, I gotcha covered.
所罗门教授你想见我吗
Dr. Solomon? You wanted to see me?
是的盖里请坐
Oh, yes, Gary. Please sit down.
谢谢你
Thank you.
听着没必要拖延必然事件盖里
Look, there's no need to delay the inevitable, Gary,
我的儿子弟弟门徒
my son, my brother, my protege...
我
me.
你是说我得到这份工作了吗
You mean, I've got the job?
什么时候开始先生
When do I start, sir?
玛丽的最后一堂课三点开始
Well, Mary's last class starts at 3:00,
所以如果你能在五点哄她去酒吧
so if you can coax her to a happy hour at 5:00,
你们应该七点就能上♥床♥了
you should be in the sack by 7:00.
什么等等
What? Wait a minute.
我不会为了得到这份工作
I'm not sleeping with Dr. Albright
和欧布莱特教授上♥床♥的
just to get the job.
什么意思
What do you mean?
和玛丽上♥床♥就是工作
Sleeping with Mary is the job!
总之是工作的一部分她也喜欢购物
Well, part of it anyway. She likes to shop, too.
我只想教物理
I just wanna teach physics.
仅此而已
That's all I've ever wanted.
我们说好了的
We had a deal!
伙计们
Hey, guys!
自助餐厅供应洋鸡了
Chicken Jerusalem in the cafeteria!
欧布莱特教授你或许是个美女
Dr. Albright, you may be a handsome woman
而我当然很想在这座大学
and I would certainly love a position
担任一职
here at the university,
可我不会和你上♥床♥的
but I am not going to sleep with you!
再见
Good-bye!
好很好
Okay, that's fair.
迪克
Dick...
你猜我想问什么
guess what I wanna know.
他们管它叫"洋鸡"
They call it "Chicken Jerusalem"
是因为用洋姜做的
because they make it with Jerusalem artichokes.
算了
Anyway.
盖里为什么不想和我上♥床♥
Why doesn't Gary wanna sleep with me?
因为他是个傻子
Oh, because he's an idiot.
现在我不知道我走了
Now I don't know what's gonna become of you
你会怎么样
when I'm gone.
我的天迪克你不会快死了吧
Oh, my God, Dick. You're not dying, are you?
没有可如果是呢
No, I'm not. But what if I did?
那个灵媒把我吓到了
That psychic scared me.
她让我思考了未来
She made me think about the future.
如果我不在了你会发生什么事
What would happen to you if I weren't around anymore?
我以为盖里能替代我
I thought Gary could replace me,
可现在我不想被替代
but now I don't wanna be replaced!
你不会是说
You're not saying
你之前想撮合我和盖里吧
that you were trying to fix Gary and me up?
对
Yes!
这是我做过的最不情愿的事了
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do!
你给我听好
Listen, you.
那个灵媒什么都不知道
That psychic didn't know anything.
你还有很多很多年可活呢
You have many, many years ahead of you,
而我会陪在你身边
and I will be right by your side.
在那之后我不想要其他任何人
And after that, I don't want anybody else.
玛丽
Mary...
你宁愿孤独终老
you'd rather be alone?
和你好之后我够了
After you, I'm done.
当然了
Of course you are.
我怎能指望你和我这样的人好了之后
How could I expect you to ever settle for anyone else
还会满足于其他人呢
after being with someone like me?
我毁了你
I've ruined you.
何止毁了
More than you'll ever know.
在这个星球上待了这么久
After so long on this planet,
我终于吸取了最深刻的教训
I've finally learned my most important lesson of all.
是什么
What's that?
爱过迪克再失去迪克
That it's better to have loved Dick and lost Dick
[Dick有"小弟"的意思]
总好过从没拥有过迪克
than never to have had Dick at all.
我就算了吧
Still, I'll pass.
对了你们处理了那个危险人物吗
By the way, did you take care of that security risk?
我正在处理
I'm on top of it.
哈里任务完成了吗
Oh, Harry, mission accomplished?
还没有
No, not yet.
我下来喝杯水
I just came down to get some water.
怎么这么久
What is taking so long?
我不知道
I don't know!
她越来越强了
She just keeps gettin' stronger!
听着你只要记住哈里
Look, now just remember, Harry,
整个任务都指望着你
the entire mission is counting on you,
坚持下去
so keep it up!
说起来容易做起来难
Easier said than done.