我为喜剧狂（2006）
30 Rock S05E20
Part 5
June 7, 2022, 4:05 p.m.
Do you not understand what that means?
不懂 瓦斯对我一点用都没有
No, not really. Gas has no effect on me at all.
小时候 我学校 Gerry Cooney小学
When I was growing up, my school, Gerry Cooney Elementary,
就在皇后区的瓦斯工厂旁边
it was right next to a gas works in queens.
瓦斯泄露到学校食堂
It ventilated into the cafeteria.
市政♥府♥赔了不少钱勒
We got a big settlement from the city.
最后家长投票拿钱去买♥♥了个公用游艇
Our parents voted to spend it on a boat that the families could share,
后来沉了
but then that sank.
但你知道吗?
But you know what?
我明智地意识到 我不会找到比你更好的了Liz Lemon
I'm still smart enough to know that I'll never do better than you, Liz Lemon,
因为你在卧室是厨子 在厨房♥是婊♥子♥
'cause you're a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen.
所以我再给你一次机会
So I'm gonna give you one more shot
承认我俩藕断丝连是有原因的
to admit to me that you keep bringing me back into your life for a reason.
Subhas 把这垃圾清出去
Subhas, take out the trash.
别对我指手画脚 女人 - 不是 我是说...
Don't order me around, woman. - No, I mean... just...
Dennis 出去
Dennis, get out.
你会改变主意的
You'll change your mind.
好戏开场了
Let's rock, Duffy.
又是你 等等
You again!Wait.
你不是"平行世界Jack"
You're not sideways Jack.
我是"过去Jack" 因为我从过去穿越来
I'm past Jack, because I'm from the past
我就是你 - 恩 我懂
and I'm you.- Yeah, I get it.
真的吗? 看起来你什么都不懂了 老男人
Do you? 'Cause it seems like you don't get much of anything anymore, old man.
如果我以后就你这样 我现在就跳楼
If you're my future, I'm gonna jump.
拦住他!
Stop him!
如果他跳楼了 我们都不存在了
If he jumps,we don't exist anymore.
这我再明白不过了
I'm perfectly aware of that.
我在大学学过时间膨胀和量子通讯
I studied time dilation and quantum teleportation in college.
你学过才怪勒 你就看过"时空特警"
No, you didn't. You saw time cop.
真的? 我没看过"时空特警"
Really? I never saw time cop.
你会在2007年看 而且你非常喜欢
You will in 2007, and you'll love it.
你咋这个腔调啊?
Why are you talking like that?
80年代每个人都这腔调
This is how everyone talked in the '80s.
里根就是这腔调
This is how Reagan talked.
现在改变还来得及 Jack
Look, there's still time to fix this, Jack.
你得重新给力起来 从炒掉那个女人开始
You need to kick ass again, starting with getting rid of that woman.
听听他说的
Listen to him.
他多给力啊 而且你知道他是对的
He's awesome, and you know he's right.
炒掉Lemon?
Fire Lemon?
我不知道我能不能做到 - 那看招!
I don't know if I can do that.- Well, then, take this!
靠!
Oh, god!
只有我疼
That only hurt me.
为啥我会觉得你们也会疼勒?
Why did I think that would hurt you too?
Jack 成为你该成的那个人吧 - 我
Jack, be the man you were meant to be.Me.
这件礼服是我50岁生日 骑进派对现场的那头狮子做的
This tuxedo is made out of the puma that I rode into my 50th birthday party.
为啥你们俩都穿礼服啊?
Why are you both wearing tuxedos?
都过了下午六点了 你以为我什么人啊? 农民?
It's after 6:00. What are we, farmers?
现在去炒了那女人吧
Now go get rid of that woman.
我先检查在你受到瓦斯惊吓后 是否一切正常
Just want to check everything out after your little gas scare.
恩 我的笔灯是好的 太好了
Well, my pen light is working.That's good.
给我背一下字母表
Now, can you say the alphabet for me?
(CBS在报道第53届格莱美奖时 记者Serene Branson抽风说鸟语 此处Pete模仿她)
Well, a very, very heavy...
(CBS在报道第53届格莱美奖时 记者Serene Branson抽风说鸟语 此处Pete模仿她)
Uh, heavy, du... Bertation tonight.
(CBS在报道第53届格莱美奖时 记者Serene Branson抽风说鸟语 此处Pete模仿她)
We had a very dairse... Dareson by...
(CBS在报道第53届格莱美奖时 记者Serene Branson抽风说鸟语 此处Pete模仿她)
Let's go ahead and tersh-tayson
(CBS在报道第53届格莱美奖时 记者Serene Branson抽风说鸟语 此处Pete模仿她)
letsgotobit anhaddapit.
背得好
Excellent.
天啊 Jenna 你怀孕了?
My god, Jenna.Are you pregnant?
咋怀上的? 在公共泳池游泳?
How? Did you go swimming in a public pool?
我在头脑中想着得生小孩
No, I got in my head about having a baby,
结果出现假想(激♥情♥)怀孕了
and now I'm having a hysterical pregnancy.
修辞重复 哪次怀孕不激♥情♥啊?
Well, that's redundant.All pregnancies are hysterical.
都是由鸡鸡引起的
They're started by penises.
这样太完美了
This should be perfect.
我是说 我只是想吸引眼球
I mean, all I want is the attention.
那我为啥不高兴啊?
So why am I not happy?
是不是我其实想要孩子呢?
I mean, on some level, do I want to have a baby?
是不是我想当妈妈呢?
Do I want to be a mother?
我该不该当妈妈呢?
Should I be a mother?
没劲!
Bored!
你好 我是Greta Johannsen 你请的动物饲养员
Hey.Greta Johannsen, your animal wrangler.
天啊 你太美了
My god, you're beautiful.
♪ 若你今夜说再见 ♪
♪ If you say good-bye tonight ♪
♪ 我只留下我的回忆 ♪
♪ all I'll have will be my memories ♪
♪ 继续追逐光芒吧 ♪
♪ so keep on reaching for the light ♪
♪ 我现在相信这是我的回忆 ♪
♪ I now believe these are my memories ♪
♪ 我的回忆 ♪
♪ my memories ♪
Jordan先生 我拒绝接受这一切
Mr. Jordan, I refuse to accept this is happening.
对我来说 你的离开就像革命一样疯狂
You leaving is as crazy to me as evolution,
或者说女人有权选择自己的发型
or a woman's right to choose her haircut.
很抱歉 Ken 但Jenna也许是对的
I'm sorry, Ken, but maybe Jenna was right.
我回来唯一的可能性是我枪杀一个人 但这样也太疯狂了
The only way I could come back is if I shoot someone, and that's crazy.
真的吗? 这个主意也许不错呢
Or is it? Maybe it's a good idea.
我不知道
I don't know.
这个逻辑很好很简单啊
It has a nice, simple logic to it.
我们可以深吸一口气 同时说出我们的想法
Why don't we take a deep breath and then both say what we think we should do.
你应该冲我开一枪... - 我应该冲你开一枪...
You should shoot me... - I should shoot you...
在洛克菲勒大厦的顶层!
On the roof of 30 rock!
我只求你一件事 先生
I only ask one thing, sir.
速战速决
Make it quick.
这个我可不敢保证 Ken 我是个很糟糕的枪手
I cannot promise you that, Ken.I'm a horrible shot.
到房♥顶去
To the roof.
嘿 小呆呆
Hey, dummy.
嘿 准备好签契约了吗?
Hey.You ready to sign that lease?
还记得之前我们谈过 我要搬去和你同住吧?
You know how we were talking earlier about me moving in with you
你还说在纽约 把一个房♥客撵出去是多么不容易
and how hard it is to kick a tenant out in New York?
仔细想想吧
Just think about it.
我可以每天晚上给你做辣椒酱吃
I'll make you chili every night.
我来养你 我有个绝佳的生财之道
I'll provide for you.I have a new business idea.
有点像Netflix 但是有实体店 (Netflix:收费视频网站)
It's like Netflix, but you go to a store,
你从有限的选项里挑出你想看的视频
and you pick out your video from a limited selection.
日子又能像五年前一样 - 没错
It'd be like five years ago. - Exactly.
我今晚就能把我的东西搬进去 对吧?
I can move my stuff in tonight, right?
我只有一个野营包 和一个摩托车的侧斗
I just have one duffel bag in a sidecar.
我的摩托车因为停的太牛逼 而被扣了
My motorcycle got impounded from being parked too awesome.
现在只需你签一份 我从网上下载的契约
I just need you to sign this lease I printed up off the Internet.
好 给我来支笔
Okay, I need a pen.
你竟然没笔? 你是作家啊 Liz
You don't have a pen?You're a writer, Liz.
我只有一支特牛逼的激光笔
All I have is this kick-ass laser pointer
我用它在公园里照那些呆子的裤裆
that I point at nerds' crotches in the park.
哦 等一下
Oh, wait.
是我们只有一支特牛逼的激光笔
All we have is this kick-ass laser pointer.
走 宝贝 我们去找支笔
Come on, baby. Let's go find a pen.
好滴
Okay.
不是吧
Oh, no.
我来自我介绍一下
Let me introduce myself.
我是 - 未来的Jack 很显然嘛
I am...- future Jack, obviously.
我们十年以后就穿这玩意?
Is that what we're wearing in ten years?
是三十五年以后
More like 35 years.
你87岁了?
You're 87 years old?
我的天啊 我太人精了
My god, I'm outstanding.
我也这么觉得
I like to think so.
我从未来大老远的跑来-
I've come all the way from the future...
可比从过去跑来困难多了 - 随便怎么说 老大爷
Which is a lot harder than coming from the past...- whatever, pops.
是为了警告你 别听其他Jack的
To warn you not to listen to the other Jacks.
在未来 你会超乎你想像得快乐
In the future, you're happier than you ever imagined.
你会儿孙满堂 还有个美艳绝伦的多亚族老婆
You have grandchildren and a gorgeous polyblasian wife.
那是2030年后催生出的种族
That's a new race that emerges in 2030.
他们都很棒的 - 那Avery呢?
They're incredible.- What happened to Avery?
哦 你会知道的 很搞笑啊
Oh, you'll see. It's hilarious.
好吧 那他 你 还有我们的事业呢?
我为喜剧狂（2006）
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